Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

[Systematic]

So you're a parent, and you realize that you have no idea how to be a good parent.

You know how to be an abusive, soul-crushing parent, and that's it.

You'd like to be a good parent, but what's that?

So, I would like to show a dichotomy.

A kind parent shows esteem in action and words; but a cruel parent does not.

A kind parent controls toddlers to keep them out of danger; but a cruel parent never relinquishes control over the child.

And the list goes on. I need help with the list, but I think you get the gist.

So the technique is to have the list of kind behaviors and imagine having them for yourself, in your own childhood.
Second, the technique is to implement those behaviors with your own children.

[LuckyR]

So you're a parent, and you realize that you have no idea how to be a good parent.

You know how to be an abusive, soul-crushing parent, and that's it.

You'd like to be a good parent, but what's that?

So, I would like to show a dichotomy.

A kind parent shows esteem in action and words; but a cruel parent does not.

A kind parent controls toddlers to keep them out of danger; but a cruel parent never relinquishes control over the child.

And the list goes on. I need help with the list, but I think you get the gist.

So the technique is to have the list of kind behaviors and imagine having them for yourself, in your own childhood.
Second, the technique is to implement those behaviors with your own children.

There's way more to good parenting than "kindness". In fact what keeps many modern "OK" parents from being "great", is trying to be their children's buddy instead of their parent. Kids need boundaries and discipline, even when they prefer freedom and a world without limits.