NEWS FLASH FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SCRUTINY

[Gary Childress]

Secret Cabal being organized by a person on the Internet who goes by the screen name Immanuel Can on the intent to replace the current cabal with a better one. We have our best man on the Job, Gary Childress who has infiltrated his inner ring and is going to find out where they meet and how they intend to take over the world.

Agent Childress sends his regards to the communist underground. It is reported that Gary fears for his life because Immanuel Can has taken God hostage and is holding God for ransom until his sex life improves. Agent Gary Childress intends to storm the compound and find Immanuel Can and torture him for eternity with Agent Childress' ignorance of the Bible.