My Problem

[Gary Childress]

I'm stubborn and it's usually my way or the highway. I realize this in some sense, but I just can't back down from confrontation or head butting. I'm like a moth attracted to a flame. How does a person change the way one feels about conflict? I assume, step 1 is to want to and in order to want to, a stubborn person must meet an indestructible wall that will not budge or have the world cave in on his head. And all that does is make me madder and more confrontational. I'm like a rabid animal, a horse that has no reins and won't accept them from anyone. I'm maybe a huge problem for everyone and everyone is a huge problem for me. I just want to feel at peace and serenity. But that doesn't appear to be possible.

Why I was ever born into this world, I'll never know unless the world is truly governed by accident and randomness. If there is a creator and any order to the universe, then I can only assume, I wasn't created to fit into it. If I lived in neolithic times, I probably would be dead by now. But I live in times of plenty and that's probably what allows me to continue on this trajectory (or tragictory).

So what's the solution to me? Does there need to be a solution? And if so, whose business is it to be the executor of the solution?

When I feel like the only solution to my problem is to get rid of me, it's like telling myself that I need to self-destruct for the good of everyone else. And yet, self-destructing is a pretty daunting thing to do.

[phyllo]

Step 1 is to figure out why you are stubborn.

What do you get out of being stubborn? What do you get out of conflict?

What is your motivation?

[mickthinks]

I think your problem, Gary, is that you are in love with yourself but you have no self-respect. That sets up a cognitive dissonance that you can’t cope with.

[Gary Childress]

I think your problem, Gary, is that you are in love with yourself but you have no self-respect. That sets up a cognitive dissonance that you can’t cope with.

Then I must be in a love/hate relationship with myself.

[Gary Childress]

What do you get out of being stubborn? What do you get out of conflict?

What is your motivation?

I get to stay where I am instead of change. I'm what is called "shiftless" I suppose. And being shiftless is pretty much a bad thing according to my understanding. So rather than change at peril of being considered "bad" by others I've accepted bad as the way I am, because it's easier than changing. It's the path of least resistance for me.

[mickthinks]

Then I must be in a love/hate relationship with myself.

Well, hatred and lack of respect are certainly similar but I think it's a mistake to conflate them here. If you hated yourself, you would not find yourself eternally interesting, I think.

[Gary Childress]

Then I must be in a love/hate relationship with myself.

Well, hatred and lack of respect are certainly similar but I think it's a mistake to conflate them here. If you hated yourself, you would not find yourself eternally interesting, I think.

What do you mean by "I find myself interesting"? Should I not be concerned with my own states of being? Or is there some sort of hive mind I'm supposed to be tapping into?

[Age]

I'm stubborn and it's usually my way or the highway. I realize this in some sense, but I just can't back down from confrontation or head butting. I'm like a moth attracted to a flame. How does a person change the way one feels about conflict? I assume, step 1 is to want to and in order to want to, a stubborn person must meet an indestructible wall that will not budge or have the world cave in on his head. And all that does is make me madder and more confrontational. I'm like a rabid animal, a horse that has no reins and won't accept them from anyone. I'm maybe a huge problem for everyone and everyone is a huge problem for me. I just want to feel at peace and serenity. But that doesn't appear to be possible.

As you assume, step 1 is 'want to'.

So, what is it that that you, really, 'want to' do more? Do you 'want to' feel at peace and serenity more, or, do you 'want to' to be more stubborn?

Why I was ever born into this world, I'll never know unless the world is truly governed by accident and randomness.

Why do you presume that you will never know, unless 'the world' is one way only?

It is like you just 'want to' express here what you 'currently' believe is true.

Also, the answer to why 'you' were born is very simple and easy to uncover, find, and know.

If there is a creator and any order to the universe, then I can only assume, I wasn't created to fit into it.

When, and if, you also learn and understand what the actual irrefutable Truth here is, exactly, then you will see how important and how much 'you', "gary childress, fit in perfectly here

If I lived in neolithic times, I probably would be dead by now. But I live in times of plenty and that's probably what allows me to continue on this trajectory (or tragictory).

So what's the solution to me? Does there need to be a solution? And if so, whose business is it to be the executor of the solution?

When I feel like the only solution to my problem is to get rid of me, it's like telling myself that I need to self-destruct for the good of everyone else. And yet, self-destructing is a pretty daunting thing to do.

Okay.

[Gary Childress]

I'm stubborn and it's usually my way or the highway. I realize this in some sense, but I just can't back down from confrontation or head butting. I'm like a moth attracted to a flame. How does a person change the way one feels about conflict? I assume, step 1 is to want to and in order to want to, a stubborn person must meet an indestructible wall that will not budge or have the world cave in on his head. And all that does is make me madder and more confrontational. I'm like a rabid animal, a horse that has no reins and won't accept them from anyone. I'm maybe a huge problem for everyone and everyone is a huge problem for me. I just want to feel at peace and serenity. But that doesn't appear to be possible.

As you assume, step 1 is 'want to'.

So, what is it that that you, really, 'want to' do more? Do you 'want to' feel at peace and serenity more, or, do you 'want to' to be more stubborn?

Why I was ever born into this world, I'll never know unless the world is truly governed by accident and randomness.

Why do you presume that you will never know, unless 'the world' is one way only?

It is like you just 'want to' express here what you 'currently' believe is true.

Also, the answer to why 'you' were born is very simple and easy to uncover, find, and know.

If there is a creator and any order to the universe, then I can only assume, I wasn't created to fit into it.

When, and if, you also learn and understand what the actual irrefutable Truth here is, exactly, then you will see how important and how much 'you', "gary childress, fit in perfectly here

If I lived in neolithic times, I probably would be dead by now. But I live in times of plenty and that's probably what allows me to continue on this trajectory (or tragictory).

So what's the solution to me? Does there need to be a solution? And if so, whose business is it to be the executor of the solution?

When I feel like the only solution to my problem is to get rid of me, it's like telling myself that I need to self-destruct for the good of everyone else. And yet, self-destructing is a pretty daunting thing to do.

Okay.

Well, Age, as my unrequited love used to always tell me, "two sickies do not a wellie make."

[Age]

I'm stubborn and it's usually my way or the highway. I realize this in some sense, but I just can't back down from confrontation or head butting. I'm like a moth attracted to a flame. How does a person change the way one feels about conflict? I assume, step 1 is to want to and in order to want to, a stubborn person must meet an indestructible wall that will not budge or have the world cave in on his head. And all that does is make me madder and more confrontational. I'm like a rabid animal, a horse that has no reins and won't accept them from anyone. I'm maybe a huge problem for everyone and everyone is a huge problem for me. I just want to feel at peace and serenity. But that doesn't appear to be possible.

As you assume, step 1 is 'want to'.

So, what is it that that you, really, 'want to' do more? Do you 'want to' feel at peace and serenity more, or, do you 'want to' to be more stubborn?

Why I was ever born into this world, I'll never know unless the world is truly governed by accident and randomness.

Why do you presume that you will never know, unless 'the world' is one way only?

It is like you just 'want to' express here what you 'currently' believe is true.

Also, the answer to why 'you' were born is very simple and easy to uncover, find, and know.

If there is a creator and any order to the universe, then I can only assume, I wasn't created to fit into it.

When, and if, you also learn and understand what the actual irrefutable Truth here is, exactly, then you will see how important and how much 'you', "gary childress, fit in perfectly here

If I lived in neolithic times, I probably would be dead by now. But I live in times of plenty and that's probably what allows me to continue on this trajectory (or tragictory).

So what's the solution to me? Does there need to be a solution? And if so, whose business is it to be the executor of the solution?

When I feel like the only solution to my problem is to get rid of me, it's like telling myself that I need to self-destruct for the good of everyone else. And yet, self-destructing is a pretty daunting thing to do.

Okay.

Well, Age, as my unrequited love used to always tell me, "two sickies do not a wellie make."

I have absolutely no idea at all what you are actually talking about and meaning here.

[Gary Childress]

As you assume, step 1 is 'want to'.

So, what is it that that you, really, 'want to' do more? Do you 'want to' feel at peace and serenity more, or, do you 'want to' to be more stubborn?



Why do you presume that you will never know, unless 'the world' is one way only?

It is like you just 'want to' express here what you 'currently' believe is true.

Also, the answer to why 'you' were born is very simple and easy to uncover, find, and know.


When, and if, you also learn and understand what the actual irrefutable Truth here is, exactly, then you will see how important and how much 'you', "gary childress, fit in perfectly here


Okay.

Well, Age, as my unrequited love used to always tell me, "two sickies do not a wellie make."

I have absolutely no idea at all what you are actually talking about and meaning here.

Which confirms my statement above it. We can't cure each other, Age. We're where we are and that's about it.

[Age]

Well, Age, as my unrequited love used to always tell me, "two sickies do not a wellie make."

I have absolutely no idea at all what you are actually talking about and meaning here.

Which confirms my statement above it. We can't cure each other, Age. We're where we are and that's about it.

But no one needs 'curing', in childhood.

Only you adult human beings need 'curing', because of and after your ill-gotten childhoods.

Also, you all can only 'cure' and fix "your' own 'selves', only, that is: when you, really, 'want to:.

[Gary Childress]

I have absolutely no idea at all what you are actually talking about and meaning here.

Which confirms my statement above it. We can't cure each other, Age. We're where we are and that's about it.

But no one needs 'curing', in childhood.

Only you adult human beings need 'curing', because of and after your ill-gotten childhoods.

Also, you all can only 'cure' and fix "your' own 'selves', only, that is: when you, really, 'want to:.

I suppose that's all true also.

[Gary Childress]

I was told after a psychological evaluation once upon a time that I may have feelings of "entitlement".

Psychological entitlement refers to an inflated and pervasive sense of deservingness, self-importance, and exaggerated expectations to receive special goods and treatment without reciprocating

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl ... %2C%202016).

[Age]

I was told after a psychological evaluation once upon a time that I may have feelings of "entitlement".

Psychological entitlement refers to an inflated and pervasive sense of deservingness, self-importance, and exaggerated expectations to receive special goods and treatment without reciprocating

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl ... %2C%202016).

Okay.