NEWS FLASH FROM THE SCIENCE DEPARTMENT OF EARTH

[Gary Childress]

Gary Childress has turned into a black hole gobbling up everything on Earth. WARNING do not approach this man if you see him. Our best advice at the moment is to just run. We're still doing calculations on the wormholes to figure out how to escape him. In the meantime if you see a man who looks remarkably like Vladimir Putin, do the world a favor and kick his ass off his throne so he can at least take a bathroom break.

[alan1000]

Strewth! There's a bloke in my pub who looks just like Putin. Says he's a cotton farmer from Birdsville. Reckon he's telling the truth?

[Walker]

When he walks, does he swing both arms?

[alan1000]

Yes, and they both swing in the same direction at the same time. Is this a clue?

[Walker]

Putin walks like a KGB agent, only one arm swings.

Tactical fake arm. Sometimes it's real, sometimes it's not.

[alan1000]

When I was in the army, we would sometimes ask for a sheet of blank paper, which we would carry folded up in the left hand. This saved us the effort of swinging both arms when marching in the road.