Fed up

[Gary Childress]

If you want to give away your savings for sex then how is that anyone else's fault?

I wasn't giving away my savings for sex. I never had sex with her. I actually cared about her very much and wanted to help her and her daughter.

Right. So you would have done the same thing if it was man, or someone you weren't attracted to? Be honest with yourself.

I am honest with myself. No, I wouldn't have done the same thing for someone I wasn't attracted to. She wasn't attracted to me. So I tried to play the hero and come to her rescue thinking that would win her favor. It seems to work in movies and romance novels. I was deluded. However, I never asked her for sex in return for any of the money I gave her. She even alluded to the possibility at one point saying that if I would give her another 10,000 she'd have sex with me. I don't know how serious she was about that remark, however, I didn't have 10,000 at that point, so I gave her 5,000 instead and didn't ask for anything in return. If I had 10,000 to give her at that time, I would have and I wouldn't have made any condition to it. Everything I gave her I gave her without making explicit transactional demands.

I'm aware that I sank my own ship in the whole affair. I don't hold her as guilty of anything unreasonable. That's not my concern. I probably wouldn't have dated me either if I were her. However, that doesn't change my view that the world just sucks when all a guy can do is watch and drool from the sidelines and nothing in the world could change that fact.

I'm not of the opinion that life couldn't be better. It could be. But life sucks. That's been my only consistent point all along. To top it off, I've become so demoralized and desperate from the whole affair that I'm pretty much the last man on Earth ANY woman would want to be with. However, that's the nature and absurdity of the beast. The more lonely and desperate I become the more women avoid me. I feel the same way about unattractive women. The only one I blame is the creator of this world. The world is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it except live with unsatifiable desires.

In short, I don't appreciate your attempt to tarnish me in this whole thing, saying that I'm just blaming other people. I have no ire toward any person. If she called tomorrow and told me she was broke and needed something badly, I'd do the same thing if I had the money. And I wouldn't make any explicit conditions. The only one I have ire toward is fate or God or whatever created or administers this world (if anything even does or did so at all). And if it's God, then I'd rather give God the middle finger than go to Church and pray and beg to God to get me laid, since apparently, God frowns on humans wanting to satiate our sexual drives in non-reproductive acts of vanity.

I'm told that depending on others to just give us things isn't the right way to go about things, so I don't. Unfortunately, that leaves me with pretty much no means of getting much in terms of romance.

[accelafine]

I wasn't giving away my savings for sex. I never had sex with her. I actually cared about her very much and wanted to help her and her daughter.

Right. So you would have done the same thing if it was man, or someone you weren't attracted to? Be honest with yourself.

I am honest with myself. No, I wouldn't have done the same thing for someone I wasn't attracted to. She wasn't attracted to me. So I tried to play the hero and come to her rescue thinking that would win her favor. It seems to work in movies and romance novels. I was deluded. However, I never asked her for sex in return for any of the money I gave her. She even alluded to the possibility at one point saying that if I would give her another 10,000 she'd have sex with me. I don't know how serious she was about that remark, however, I didn't have 10,000 at that point, so I gave her 5,000 instead and didn't ask for anything in return. If I had 10,000 to give her at that time, I would have and I wouldn't have made any condition to it. Everything I gave her I gave her without making explicit transactional demands.

I'm aware that I sank my own ship in the whole affair. I don't hold her as guilty of anything unreasonable. That's not my concern. I probably wouldn't have dated me either if I were her. However, that doesn't change my view that the world just sucks when all a guy can do is watch and drool from the sidelines and nothing in the world could change that fact.

I'm not of the opinion that life couldn't be better. It could be. But life sucks. That's been my only consistent point all along. To top it off, I've become so demoralized and desperate from the whole affair that I'm pretty much the last man on Earth ANY woman would want to be with. However, that's the nature and absurdity of the beast. The more lonely and desperate I become the more women avoid me. I feel the same way about unattractive women. The only one I blame is the creator of this world. The world is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it except live with unsatifiable desires.

In short, I don't appreciate your attempt to tarnish me in this whole thing, saying that I'm just blaming other people. I have no ire toward any person. If she called tomorrow and told me she was broke and needed something badly, I'd do the same thing if I had the money. And I wouldn't make any explicit conditions. The only one I have ire toward is fate or God or whatever created or administers this world (if anything even does or did so at all). And if it's God, then I'd rather give God the middle finger than go to Church and pray and beg to God to get me laid, since apparently, God frowns on humans wanting to satiate our sexual drives in non-reproductive acts of vanity.

I'm told that depending on others to just give us things isn't the right way to go about things, so I don't. Unfortunately, that leaves me with pretty much no means of getting much in terms of romance.

There's no helping some people. Why are you even telling us this depressing crap? It's pretty obvious you shouldn't be giving your money away. What else is there to say?

[Gary Childress]

Right. So you would have done the same thing if it was man, or someone you weren't attracted to? Be honest with yourself.

I am honest with myself. No, I wouldn't have done the same thing for someone I wasn't attracted to. She wasn't attracted to me. So I tried to play the hero and come to her rescue thinking that would win her favor. It seems to work in movies and romance novels. I was deluded. However, I never asked her for sex in return for any of the money I gave her. She even alluded to the possibility at one point saying that if I would give her another 10,000 she'd have sex with me. I don't know how serious she was about that remark, however, I didn't have 10,000 at that point, so I gave her 5,000 instead and didn't ask for anything in return. If I had 10,000 to give her at that time, I would have and I wouldn't have made any condition to it. Everything I gave her I gave her without making explicit transactional demands.

I'm aware that I sank my own ship in the whole affair. I don't hold her as guilty of anything unreasonable. That's not my concern. I probably wouldn't have dated me either if I were her. However, that doesn't change my view that the world just sucks when all a guy can do is watch and drool from the sidelines and nothing in the world could change that fact.

I'm not of the opinion that life couldn't be better. It could be. But life sucks. That's been my only consistent point all along. To top it off, I've become so demoralized and desperate from the whole affair that I'm pretty much the last man on Earth ANY woman would want to be with. However, that's the nature and absurdity of the beast. The more lonely and desperate I become the more women avoid me. I feel the same way about unattractive women. The only one I blame is the creator of this world. The world is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it except live with unsatifiable desires.

In short, I don't appreciate your attempt to tarnish me in this whole thing, saying that I'm just blaming other people. I have no ire toward any person. If she called tomorrow and told me she was broke and needed something badly, I'd do the same thing if I had the money. And I wouldn't make any explicit conditions. The only one I have ire toward is fate or God or whatever created or administers this world (if anything even does or did so at all). And if it's God, then I'd rather give God the middle finger than go to Church and pray and beg to God to get me laid, since apparently, God frowns on humans wanting to satiate our sexual drives in non-reproductive acts of vanity.

I'm told that depending on others to just give us things isn't the right way to go about things, so I don't. Unfortunately, that leaves me with pretty much no means of getting much in terms of romance.

There's no helping some people. Why are you even telling us this depressing crap? It's pretty obvious you shouldn't be giving your money away. What else is there to say?

I'm sorry you don't want to hear what I have to say. I used to talk to myself when no one was around, however, nothing ever answered me, so I assume I was the only one hearing it. Now I express myself on Internet forums instead. You are welcome to scroll by or put me down on your "foe" list. I won't take it personally.

[accelafine]

I am honest with myself. No, I wouldn't have done the same thing for someone I wasn't attracted to. She wasn't attracted to me. So I tried to play the hero and come to her rescue thinking that would win her favor. It seems to work in movies and romance novels. I was deluded. However, I never asked her for sex in return for any of the money I gave her. She even alluded to the possibility at one point saying that if I would give her another 10,000 she'd have sex with me. I don't know how serious she was about that remark, however, I didn't have 10,000 at that point, so I gave her 5,000 instead and didn't ask for anything in return. If I had 10,000 to give her at that time, I would have and I wouldn't have made any condition to it. Everything I gave her I gave her without making explicit transactional demands.

I'm aware that I sank my own ship in the whole affair. I don't hold her as guilty of anything unreasonable. That's not my concern. I probably wouldn't have dated me either if I were her. However, that doesn't change my view that the world just sucks when all a guy can do is watch and drool from the sidelines and nothing in the world could change that fact.

I'm not of the opinion that life couldn't be better. It could be. But life sucks. That's been my only consistent point all along. To top it off, I've become so demoralized and desperate from the whole affair that I'm pretty much the last man on Earth ANY woman would want to be with. However, that's the nature and absurdity of the beast. The more lonely and desperate I become the more women avoid me. I feel the same way about unattractive women. The only one I blame is the creator of this world. The world is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it except live with unsatifiable desires.

In short, I don't appreciate your attempt to tarnish me in this whole thing, saying that I'm just blaming other people. I have no ire toward any person. If she called tomorrow and told me she was broke and needed something badly, I'd do the same thing if I had the money. And I wouldn't make any explicit conditions. The only one I have ire toward is fate or God or whatever created or administers this world (if anything even does or did so at all). And if it's God, then I'd rather give God the middle finger than go to Church and pray and beg to God to get me laid, since apparently, God frowns on humans wanting to satiate our sexual drives in non-reproductive acts of vanity.

I'm told that depending on others to just give us things isn't the right way to go about things, so I don't. Unfortunately, that leaves me with pretty much no means of getting much in terms of romance.

There's no helping some people. Why are you even telling us this depressing crap? It's pretty obvious you shouldn't be giving your money away. What else is there to say?

I'm sorry you don't want to hear what I have to say. I used to talk to myself when no one was around, however, nothing ever answered me, so I assume I was the only one hearing it. Now I express myself on Internet forums instead. You are welcome to scroll by or put me down on your "foe" list. I won't take it personally.

Do you think you are the only person with problems? And I wouldn't call willingly giving away all your money a 'problem' either. It's something you chose to do.

[Gary Childress]

There's no helping some people. Why are you even telling us this depressing crap? It's pretty obvious you shouldn't be giving your money away. What else is there to say?

I'm sorry you don't want to hear what I have to say. I used to talk to myself when no one was around, however, nothing ever answered me, so I assume I was the only one hearing it. Now I express myself on Internet forums instead. You are welcome to scroll by or put me down on your "foe" list. I won't take it personally.

Do you think you are the only person with problems? And I wouldn't call willingly giving away all your money a 'problem' either. It's something you chose to do.

No. I don't think I am the only person with problems. I assume we all have problems, many of them similar, though, we don't seem to deal with them or perceive them in necessarily the same ways. Why are you suggesting that I think I'm the only person with problems?

[accelafine]

I'm sorry you don't want to hear what I have to say. I used to talk to myself when no one was around, however, nothing ever answered me, so I assume I was the only one hearing it. Now I express myself on Internet forums instead. You are welcome to scroll by or put me down on your "foe" list. I won't take it personally.

Do you think you are the only person with problems? And I wouldn't call willingly giving away all your money a 'problem' either. It's something you chose to do.

No. I don't think I am the only person with problems. I assume we all have problems, many of them similar, though, we don't seem to deal with them or perceive them in necessarily the same ways. Why are you suggesting that I think I'm the only person with problems?

I get the impression that you think your problems are worse than everyone else's and that they would be solved if only you had a woman. Well if you are going to give away everything you own every time a woman squeaks at you then you are a menace to yourself and you need to either be on your own or have some kind of block put on your bank account for anything over say $50, with a card that's rigged to give you a massive electric shock if you go over that.

[Gary Childress]

Do you think you are the only person with problems? And I wouldn't call willingly giving away all your money a 'problem' either. It's something you chose to do.

No. I don't think I am the only person with problems. I assume we all have problems, many of them similar, though, we don't seem to deal with them or perceive them in necessarily the same ways. Why are you suggesting that I think I'm the only person with problems?

I get the impression that you think your problems are worse than everyone else's and that they would be solved if only you had a woman. Well if you are going to give away everything you own every time a woman squeaks at you then you are a menace to yourself and you need to either be on your own or have some kind of block put on your bank account for anything over say $50, with a card that's rigged to give you a massive electric shock if you go over that.

I'm aware that my problems aren't worse than everyone else's. And there are most definitely people with much worse problems than I have. I like to vent about my problems. As I said, if you want to ignore my posts, you are welcome to. I won't take it personally. You're also welcome to respond to my posts, though, it sounds like they cause you some level of consternation. That's why I suggest maybe ignoring them or setting up your account so that my posts aren't displayed when you open a thread. The forum has that feature.

¯\_(*_*)_/¯

[accelafine]

Not sure what kind of responses you are looking for then, if any.

[Age]

I gave almost all my savings to a woman that I wanted to love me. She was a single mom and at first, it felt like I was doing something worthwhile for her. Unfortunately, it meant nothing. It amounted to nothing. She's finally blown me off after I got mad at her for some of the shit she put me through. Now I'm a mess. My dad died about 9 months ago and I had to be the one to tell the doctors to take him off life support according to his living will that stated he didn't want to be on life support. I basically gave the word to let my own father die.

So I got mad at God. I got mad at people who believe in God. I got even madder at people who believe in a benevolent God. Now, on top of being broke and a patricidal son, I feel like I'm going to burn in Hell for being pissed at God and saying a lot of crap about him (assuming Christians are right and there is a God and the Bible is the word of God transcribed by human beings).

The term or phrase 'burn in hell' has NOT and NEVER has absolutely ANY 'thing' to do with an individual person after the human body that they are IN stops breathing and stops pumping blood.

WHEN will 'you', adult human beings, WAKE UP and REALIZE what the words 'heaven' AND 'hell' are ACTUALLY MEANING and REFERRING TO, EXACTLY?

ONCE AGAIN, I will suggest that 'you', people, STOP ASSUMING and/or BELIEVING 'things' and just BE-COME and just REMAIN Truly OPEN UNTIL 'you' FIND OUT and DISCOVER what the ACTUAL Truth REALLY IS.

This has been a shitty year. If there is a God, then I'd like to think that God isn't a sensitive snowflake who gets bent out of shape over what an angry human thinks or says of him. I'd like to think that I won't go to hell because of it or because I don't go to church.

WHY do some of 'you', adult human beings, STILL, in the days when this is being written, PERSIST WITH the MOST OUT-DATED, STUPID, ILLOGICAL, and NONSENSICAL NOTION that God is 'male gendered'?

The woman who ditched me was a practicing Catholic. She introduced me to a Christian support group program called "Celebrate Recovery". We both attended the first time and then she stopped going but I kept at it for a while. I attended Catholic church with her once but she told me never to attend with her again because I was an embarrassment to her and her family for confiding in the priest afterward concerning having a problem with pornography. I felt like scum on scum's shoes after that.

Well that is WHAT HAPPENS when 'you', Wrong DOING adult human beings, JUDGE "each other".

For some of 'you' the ONLY way 'you' can feel 'good' about "yourselves" is TO JUDGE "others" and TO MAKE 'them' feel 'bad'.

Which is just ANOTHER BLIGHT on the Truly ILL, TWISTED, and DISTORTED WAY of 'thinking', which 'you', adult human beings, LIVE BY, in the days when this is being written.

I don't worship God. I'll never worship God and I'll never be a regular churchgoer. As far as I'm concerned, religion and theology are a joke.

WHY? Because you gave a female human being some money, and now she will NOT talk to you again?

As far as I'm concerned, I don't owe God an iota of reverence. To be honest, if there is indeed a heaven and hell to follow this life,

There IS MOST DEFINITELY a heaven OR hell about to follow 'this life'. 'This life', though, is JUST NOT what you IMAGINE and ENVISION 'it' is.

then I expect to go to heaven.

The rate at which 'you', adult human beings, are progressing and proceeding here, in the days when this is being written, 'you', "gary childress", will NOT be 'around' ANYMORE to EXPERIENCE 'life on earth as 'it' IS in Heaven'.

But, then again, 'you', adult human beings, may just MAKE THE CHANGE, SOONER, rather than LATER.

After all the shit I've put up with in life, God is lucky I haven't taken up serial killing as a pastime.

Now 'we' ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE, here.

Also, what is ' all of the, so-called, 'shit' ', i would be VERY SURPRISED if 'it' was HALF of what A LOT of "other human beings" have HAD TO 'put up with'.

I've given to charitable causes. I've volunteered for charitable causes.

Money, and more correctly, the want or love of money IS what IS CAUSING and CREATING A LOT of the issues that 'you', human beings, HAVE TO LIVE WITH and THROUGH, in the days when this is being written. And, 'charities' OBVIOUSLY DO NOT and WILL NOT WORK in ACTUALLY MAKING 'life', itself, BETTER.

Giving to charities is PART OF the ACTUAL PROBLEM.

Heck, my whole life savings went to a single mom to help her when she was flat broke and needed surgery (among other things).

'you' previously STATED and CLAIMED that 'you' gave ALMOST ALL your savings but 'now' 'you' are STATING and CLAIMING 'you' gave 'your' WHOLE life savings.

Which, by the way, was 'how much', "gary childress"?

No. After spending the majority of my life with mental illness, I won't accept hell. God owes me better than that.

WHEN will 'you' EVER DECIDE IF God exists, or NOT?

But this is what is probably more likely the case. I suspect I'll disappear forever into oblivion when I go.

OF COURSE 'you' DO.

WHAT did 'you' think or BELIEVE would HAPPEN TO 'you', "gary childress"?

I suspect that if there's a creator--based on the nature of this world--s/he doesn't give a rat's ass about human beings any more than God gave a shit about the cockroach I killed an hour ago that was crawling around on my computer desk.

Do 'you', the human being, have the ABILITY to KNOW what IS Right and Wrong, in Life, and TO KNOW how to TREAT ALL 'creatures', properly AND Correctly?

Now, does a cockroach or ANY other animal have 'this ABILITY'?

That cockroach probably didn't go to an "afterlife". It's dead, never to scurry around my desk again.

YES, 'it' 'now' does NOT have the ABILITY to EXPERIENCE 'this One and ONLY 'world/Life'. EXACTLY LIKE what happened to ALL of 'you', human beings, BACK in the days when this was being written.

I grew up an atheist and became agnostic after studying philosophy. If that pissed God off, then he's had more than his revenge against me. We're even as far as I'm concerned. If a burning bush materialized in front of me and told me it was sorry for all the shit I've been through, I'd tell it not to bother. I'm beyond apologies. If Christ returns anytime in the near future, I'll tell him to fetch me a cup of coffee.

WHY do 'you' think or BELIEVE that 'you' seemingly ALWAYS see "your" 'self' AS the VICTIM "gary childress"?

The ACTUAL ANSWER WHY IS VERY OBVIOUS, that is; ONCE one LEARNS, or DISCOVERS, and UNDERSTAND HOW to LOOK AT and SEE 'things' how 'they' REALLY ARE.

On second thought, if Christ returns, I won't bother to ask him for anything. There's nothing Christ can do to make up for this life. Maybe if I hang garlic outside my door and post a sign it'll keep him off the lawn.

'To make up for this life'. 'you' come across as about the BIGGEST 'victim' i have EVER HEARD "gary childress".

'you', as an adult human being, GAVE 'a women' money, IN THE HOPE that "she" would then 'love you'. Now WHO IS TO BLAME for what THEN HAPPENED?

However, just in case you exist, I'll see you in heaven, God.

Here is ANOTHER PRIME example of 'self-centeredness', 'greed', 'the ego', and/or 'the devil' AT WORK, and AT PLAY, here.

'you' WILL NOT BE GOING TO Heaven "gary childress", UNLESS 'you' CHANGE 'your' WAYS.

The food better be good. But if you send me to hell you'd better be thankful you're God and I'm not. Otherwise, I'd rip you a new one.


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[Walker]

It wouldn't be a problem for anyone who can spell.

I shall endeavour to persevere.

[attofishpi]

I wasn't giving away my savings for sex. I never had sex with her. I actually cared about her very much and wanted to help her and her daughter.

Right. So you would have done the same thing if it was man, or someone you weren't attracted to? Be honest with yourself.

I am honest with myself. No, I wouldn't have done the same thing for someone I wasn't attracted to. She wasn't attracted to me. So I tried to play the hero and come to her rescue thinking that would win her favor. It seems to work in movies and romance novels. I was deluded. However, I never asked her for sex in return for any of the money I gave her. She even alluded to the possibility at one point saying that if I would give her another 10,000 she'd have sex with me. I don't know how serious she was about that remark, however, I didn't have 10,000 at that point, so I gave her 5,000

FFS Gazza!! In the 'movies' or 'romance novels' the bloke tends to have about 100 times what you've got in their bank and about $5,000 in spare cash inside their wallet.

This woman is what they call a 'bitch'. Is she going to die from a failure in the medical procedure that she convinced you to pay for? If not, then kidnap one of her kids for ransom, and then keep telling us how things progress from there cos at the moment your stories are extremely boring.

Do some digging, maybe she never had a medical condition and you can prove it on Judge Judy and get your money back.

ps. Let us know when it goes to air.

[Dontaskme]

She's finally blown me off after I got mad at her for some of the shit she put me through.

Have you ever thought about teaching other people how to treat you?

Now I'm a mess.

Have you ever thought about how you want to treat yourself?

[attofishpi]

She's finally blown me off after I got mad at her for some of the shit she put me through.

Have you ever thought about teaching other people how to treat you?

It doesn't work like that, as a lyric from P.W.E.I states from the song Axe Of Men on album The Cure for Sanity You gotta learn to earn respect or crawl

(coming to a Sage music from attofishpi soon)

Now I'm a mess.

Have you ever thought about how you want to treat yourself?

..at least soon there will be robots to clean up the mess of Gazza residue.

[Dontaskme]

It doesn't work like that

I don't agree.

For me, as a human, there is nothing I can add or take away from myself, there is nothing I can gain, or lose, and there's no one to obey.
There is nothing for me to earn, and there's no one else to approve of me, and nothing I can do that will give me points.
There is no stairway to heaven to be bought at a price.

Right now in my world, I am the only God I know, I am the only judge and the only one who calls the shots, not other people, not other Gods.

If for whatever reason, I willingly choose to be in a relationship with another, then the onus is always on me to teach the other how to treat me.
That's just how it works for me personally.

[Walker]

Get your cortisol checked.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/a ... 7-cortisol

I'm not "stressed" right now. I'm angry. Does cortisol play a role in anger?

Stress, anger and frustration join forces in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGv2i9Xaxqg