Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
Gary Childress wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 11:36 am
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 11:14 am
Have you ever been able to keep your depression under control?
Sometimes. Sometimes things are OK. But there are triggers that will upset the proverbial apple cart. And once I get into that pit, it's hard as all fuck to get out of it. If you are taken to a mental hospital involuntarily or somehow end up in one, you have two fundamental choices. You can trust the therapists or you can rebel against them (demanding that they left you out) but you cannot get out of the hospital until the therapy side signs off a release (if admitted involuntarily). Your choice can make a big difference on what side of society you end up on, although, there are such things as redemption and fallenness (if you want to borrow from the Judeau/Christian tradition) whereby a person can change their place. If you fall from society, then you have Christianity (if you think there is a God and God will accept you). If you fall from God, then you have this life and that's it (according to the Christian tradition). It depends upon what you bank on or what you can truly believe at heart.
Speaking personally, I can't worship God because it's just not in my heart to do so. So according to Christianity, I'm going to hell. Despite the fact that I've never committed a severe crime that is punishable in an Earthly court of law. Anyway. I have to run. I have to get to work today. I'll talk to you some more when I get home if you are up for it.
Thanks for sharing your experience with depression. Yeah, I'm up for it Gary, talk with me, anytime. This thread can be our cosy little place to hang-out for a chat.
Oh, maybe 'I' am NOT wanted here, in this PUBLIC FORUM.
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
I used to be the religious type once upon a time, that is up until the time I had this huge massive awakening happen to me, that completely changed the way I viewed reality.
So, 'you' were NOT LOOKING AT and SEEING 'reality' BEFORE, for what 'it' Truly IS, correct?
But, now 'you' ARE, right?
I continually get a 'chuckle' in regards to the amount of times 'you', adult human beings, supposedly, PREVIOUSLY were NOT SEEING 'reality' for how 'it' Truly IS, but now 'you' ARE.
And, it does NOT matter if they CHANGED from an "athiest" to a "theist" or a "theist" to an "atheist" or CHANGED from one religion to ANOTHER, or CHANGED from a "religionist" to a "scientist", or from a "scientist" to a "religionist" ALL of 'you' make me LAUGH at how it is, SUPPOSEDLY, 'now' 'you' CAN SEE 'reality' for what 'it' Truly IS.
Although this has been going on for countless of centuries ALL of 'you' are STILL 'fighting' AND 'arguing' over what is REALLY 'real'. In fact, in the days when this was being written, 'you' STILL could NOT even agree on what the word 'reality' MEANS nor REFERS TO, EXACTLY.
Which, is in fact, Truly HUMOROUS to WATCH, and OBSERVE.
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
There was a complete 180 degree U turn in the way I saw reality, there was no returning to the way I used to think about reality. Once upon a time, I used to think about God a lot, and how amazing this miracle of life is and how lucky I was to be alive to experience the beauty of it all.
And WHEN, EXACTLY, were 'you' thinking this way? It does NOT sound like the thoughts of one who has, SUPPOSEDLY, been feeling depressed ALWAYS. Or, at least always from the ages of four or five.
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
But then out of the blue, but then paradoxically something really dawned on me that had probably been niggling away at me since early childhood, and was probably the only reason why I was so depressed at such a very young age.
What was 'it', EXACTLY, which was probably the ONLY reason WHY you were SO DEPRESSED at such a very young age?
And, AGAIN, WHEN, EXACTLY, were you thinking about how amazing this miracle of life IS, and how LUCKY you were to be alive and experience the beauty of it ALL?
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
What changed in my thinking...was that I have always been able to see through the fake persona of people.
YET 'you' can NOT SEE the FAKE and FALSENESS of "your" OWN 'self'.
'you' can NOT SEE the Falsehoods in 'you', and what 'you' say, but, SUPPOSEDLY, 'you' can SEE the so-called 'fake persona' of OTHER people, correct?
Also, the CONTRADICTION here is STRIKING. What CHANGED in your thinking was that you have ALWAYS been able to ....
Can you SEE and SPOT the CONTRADICTION here?
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
This human life drama is all just one big clown planet full of actors playing silly roles, wearing different masks and pretending it's all real.
WHAT, EXACTLY, are 'you' people PRETENDING 'it' is ALL real?
What is the 'it', EXACTLY, which 'you' are IMPLYING here is, in fact, ALL fake, INSTEAD?
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
Nothing wrong with this though, don't get me wrong, we are permitted to be human, it's what humans do.
OBVIOUSLY, what 'you', human beings, DO, IS what 'you' do. This would go WITHOUT SAYING, would it NOT?
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
But for me personally, I just had to stop pretending to be something I am not once and for all, I just had to start being my true self as it is in the raw realtime moment, with no filter, or mask to disguise my real self, which I then when on to discover a lot of people would find me repellent.
Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that the REASON WHY 'you' think or BELIEVE that a LOT of people would find 'you' REPELLENT is NOT because this is just the way 'you' were brought up to THINK about "your" 'self'?
OBVIOUSLY, because of the EXACT WAY that 'you' were SEVERELY ABUSED, when 'you' were younger, 'you were bound to BELIEVE that 'you' would be REPELLENT to "others".
Have you NOT YET been ABLE to SEE, CLEAR ENOUGH, that what you were "TAUGHT" to BELIEVE about "yourself" is NOT True AT ALL?
OBVIOUSLY the MORE ABUSED one was, like 'you' WERE "dontaskme", then the LOT MORE HARDER it is to SEE 'things' CLEARLY.
Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 12:33 pm
So that's when I knew it was time to retreat into my own little world of solitude, and I've never in my entire life, ever felt so much more freer and better for embracing the life of solitude.
Okay.
But coming into a PUBLIC FORUM seems to CONTRADICT "embracing "a so-called "life of solitude", well to me anyway. "Others", obviously, may SEE 'things' DIFFERENTLY.