All My Philosophy Packets

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File #5: My Composing Dream (Part 12/12)

Other Person's Response: I just have a quick, random question for you. Are you tone deaf?

My Reply: I don't think so. If a person were to play two keys a tone or semitone a part, I'd be able to hear the difference. Also, when I look at the keyboard or a music sheet, I know all my note names. If anyone were to choose a note on the keyboard or a music sheet, I'd be able to tell them what note name it is (such as if it's a C#, a D, a G#, etc.).

But, if I were to look away, and someone were to play notes, I wouldn't be able to tell them what notes they are. Another thing. If someone were to sing a song (such as someone on American Idol), I wouldn't be able to tell if that person is off pitch or not. That might give the impression that I'm tone deaf. But, if I really was tone deaf, I wouldn't be able to perceive the difference between two pitches when a person plays two keys on the keyboard.

Other Person's Response: If you're not tone deaf, then it makes no sense why you can't tell if someone is off pitch when they sing a song.

My Reply: It might work like this. If there were was one red apple (which is the original apple), and someone put another red apple next to it, which which has a slightly different shade of red, I'd be able to see the difference in color.

But, if I went into a different room, away from those apples, and someone brought in the red apple, which had the slightly different shade of red than the original apple, I wouldn't be able to tell if this apple was the original or not. This is because I don't have the original apple as a comparison.

What I'm trying to say here is that, when someone sings a song, I can't tell if it matches up with the original song or not, since I don't have the original song as a comparison. I can't compare the notes the person sings to the notes of the original song side by side.

Other Person's Response: Then you might need to develop perfect pitch. This will allow you to tell if a person is singing the right notes, without having to compare to the original song. In addition, having perfect pitch will allow you to immediately know the notes you're hearing regarding those tunes you've created in your mind, rather than having to play around on the keyboard to figure it out.

My Reply: But, I heard you can't develop perfect pitch when you're an adult. I heard perfect pitch is a rare gift to have. So, the best that can be done is to develop a good sense of relative pitch. That simply means having a good and efficient sense of comparison regarding pitch.

This means I'd have to toy around on the keyboard to get the right notes to these tunes in my mind, and I'd have to have the original song as a comparison when listening to people sing songs. But, if I have a good sense of relative pitch, then I can figure out the notes to these tunes, and I can tell if a person is off pitch in a much less amount of time.

Other Person's Response: You may have chosen certain notes. But, they're all in the wrong order.

My Reply: My notes do adhere to a key (although, I haven't specified that key signature on the music sheets of my tunes).

Other Person's Response: Your whole claim that you have these amazing, catchy tunes in your mind is self-delusion at best.

My Reply: I can create funny scenes in my head. But, I can convey them, since I know the English language, which means I can just write them down, share them, and people would understand them. Since, I'm a natural comedian, then it's quite possible I'm naturally creating great, catchy tunes in my head, too.

Of course, I don't meet the highest standard of comedy or composing. But, I think that, according to a reasonable standard, my scenes are comical, and my music (when fully conveyed) would be great and catchy. As you can see here, certain people can be naturally gifted at certain things.

Other Person's Response: Would you mind sharing one of your funny scenes?

My Reply: Sure. A tough guy challenges other tough guys to slam their fists into him to see how much he can take. The tough guy takes these brutal punches, and isn't phased one bit. But, a little kitten arrives on the scene, scratches a weak spot on the tough guy's leg, meows, and casually walks away, while the tough guy screams:

"GOD DAMN THAT FUCKING HURTS!!!"

After which, he falls down and is defeated. Now, if people don't find this scene funny, then I think it really is funny, and people just don't like me as a person, or the things I say in my writing. It could also be the case that they have unreasonably high standards of comedy.

If I were to present this scene as a normal, polite, humble human being without sharing my packets to them (which brag about these tunes I hear in my mind, and how the lives of others can't be beautiful without their positive emotions), then I bet these people would find this scene comical.

That is, if them not liking me as an individual, and the things I say in my packets, is the only factor preventing them from seeing the comical greatness of my scenes. So, there are factors that can blind people from seeing the greatness and comedy of certain works of art.

Other Person's Response: I found that scene quite comical!

My Reply: If I can naturally create such comical scenes in my head without knowing anything about comedy, then why can't I also create great, catchy music in my head? I personally think my music will be better than any comedy scene I make.

Other Person's Response: Your melody appears as a series of randomly placed notes.

My Reply: If you look at the music sheet of the Dark Theme, you'll see how there's a pattern. A certain portion is played at the higher octave, and is then repeated at the lower octave with a few modifications.

Other Person's Response: Remember, your notes must have a pattern to them in order for your music to make sense to people. Otherwise, it would just be randomly placed notes.

My Reply: Actually, I'm not sure if this is true. I think you just need to have the right choice of notes and rests in order to convey any given scene or personality. Also, the notes must adhere to a key (which my tunes do).

Other Person's Response: If you don't mind, could you share another funny scene?

My Reply: Sure. This funny scene is a Sonic the Hedgehog one I made. If you've ever played the Sonic games, or watched Sonic, he has a female, pink hedgehog named "Amy Rose," who's very attracted to him. I've created a funny scene based off of this. It would actually be a short story. I'll give the title of the story, explain it, and end it:

Give Amy A Treat To Keep Her Quiet!

Amy and Sonic meet again. She becomes very attracted to him, starts to wag her tail, and barks like a puppy, attracted to another puppy. Sonic notices, and walks up to her. They meet face to face.

Sonic: "Amy."

Amy: "Yes, Sonic?," Amy quietly and eagerly asks, as though awaiting a proclamation of love from Sonic.

Sonic: "Hedgehogs aren't supposed to bark," Sonic quietly and gently informs Amy.

Amy: "Oh. Okay," Amy states in a normal, casual tone of voice.

Sonic and Amy then have a normal conversation as they walk into the sunset.

~The End~

Other Person's Response: That short story was the most lame, stupid, and awful piece of crap I've ever read!

My Reply: The very qualities that you think makes this lame, stupid, and awful are the very qualities I think makes it comical and great.

Other Person's Response:

Give Jake A Cheese To Keep Him Happy!

Jake and his sister, Amanda, meet again. He becomes very hungry towards her, starts to hear his stomach growl, and mentions putting cheese on some spaghetti with homemade sauce when he gets home. Amanda notices this, and walks up to him. They meet face to face.

Amanda: "Jake."

Jake: "Yes, Amanda?," Jake quietly and eagerly asks, as though awaiting a proclamation of metric cheese measurements from her.

Amanda: "There's no cheese available to buy from the store until Monday," she quietly and gently informs Jake.

Jake: "Oh. Okay," Jake states in a normal, casual tone of voice.

Jake and Amanda then have a normal conversation as they walk into the sunset.

~The End~

My Reply: I'm not sure what you're implying by creating a variation of my story. Are you implying that my story is so comical that it should be considered a meme, where many people take my story, and create their own variation of it as a means to carry on its comical legacy? But, if you're implying that my short story is awful, then remember to have a standard that's not too high, nor too low.

Other Person's Response: To be honest, I don't think your comedy scenes are good at all, and nothing about them is worth praising.

My Reply: Fine. Whatever. I'll share them to people who can appreciate them.

Other Person's Response: I see you have an issue with people who have high standards. Is this issue just limited to your comedy scenes and music? Or, does it extend to your daily life?

My Reply: It extends to my daily life because people don't appreciate who I am as a human being. Instead, they expect things from me and, from there, treat me with a bad attitude, and name call me for not meeting their standards. If I ever wish to improve as a person, and as a composer, I will. But, I think I'm a person well worth appreciating, and I think any fully crafted tunes and music I share in the future is well worth appreciating.

Other Person's Response: Do you ever wish to meet the higher standards of other people?

My Reply: If I ever want to, I will. But, I'm satisfied with the reasonable, moderate standard I live and compose by. Like I said before, I'm not expecting to be as great as Beethoven or Bach, and neither do I expect such greatness in myself as a human being. As long as I produce fully crafted tunes and themes that are awesome and catchy, according to my standard, and as long as I'm a kind person who doesn't harm anyone else, then that's good enough and worth appreciating.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think the bizarre style of music you wish to produce in the future will be well worth appreciating.

My Reply: Yes. I think it's power is well worth embracing. As for me, I need my positive emotions in order to embrace the greatness, beauty, and joy of things.

Other Person's Response: I can honestly tell you that your comedy scenes don't even meet the reasonable standard.

My Reply: There are many popular cartoons that make us smirk and laugh. Even though these cartoons don't meet the highest standard of comedy, they still meet a reasonable standard. I think the comedy scenes I've made meet that standard. In other words, my scenes would be like the ones you see in cartoons. I disagree with anyone who says my scenes don't meet that standard.

I think they're liars, and they're just saying this because they don't like me, the things I say, or because I'm not a popular, famous person. There could be other factors as well. The same idea applies to any fully crafted music I share in the future. For people to say my music doesn't meet the reasonable standard would make them liars, too.

Anyway, I'm actually going to share another comedy scene. This short scene, without a doubt, should definitely be like the ones you see in cartoons, and should be just as comical. I'll just make up my own characters for this one. There's a character named Josh who's taken on a tour through various, deep, philosophical debates.

He's shown one group of people who are debating something deep, another group who are also debating something deep and philosophical, and then he's shown this particular group. He's told that this group is also debating something deeply philosophical. There are just two characters in this group, standing next to a tree. The 1st character says:

"If it looks like a tree, sounds like a tree, and feels like a tree, then it must be a tree!"

The 2nd character replies:

"I don't know, man. I have to disagree."

The 1st character replies:

"Hmm. This is some pretty deep shit! Even I can't figure it out!"

Other Person's Response: How's that scene funny, and how does it make any sense?

My Reply: Because it's an absurd, comical twist on things. It would be like being taken on a tour through various forms of currency, and then looking at one form of currency, which is a complete joke, and stands out from the rest. It would be a form of currency that looks completely silly. Such a scene is something you'd witness in a cartoon. If you want such a scene as an example, then imagine if a character was shown various forms of human currency, and then being shown a currency for rabbits (which would be carrots).

Other Person's Response: You must think you're pretty important for you to claim your music and scenes are great, and that other people need to lower their standards. This also applies to how you think you're good enough as a person, and that other people need to appreciate who you are. Who do you think you are to say things like this?

My Reply: I don't think I'm high and mighty at all. I just think I'm a messenger of truth, sharing and expressing the truth. I share the truth in all of my previous packets I've written, and I'm sharing the truth here, too.

Other Person's Response: You talk about how any fully crafted music you make in the future would meet the reasonable standard. But, do you think your music will meet a higher standard?

My Reply: I really think so. Any fully crafted music I share that's only as good as those Forest Temple tunes you've witnessed in that youtube video wouldn't be my best. So, they'd just meet the reasonable standard. But, the powerful, profound tunes and themes I hear in my head (fully crafted) would meet the high standard. I look at it this way. Those comedy scenes I've made meet the reasonable standard.

Therefore, any fully crafted music I produce that's better than those scenes would meet a higher standard. But, like I said, they wouldn't meet the highest standard, such as Bach or Beethoven's music. Now, I'm not trying to please an audience that has a high standard. I'm just creating music that, to me, is very awesome, powerful, memorable music that I think meets a high standard.

Any music that conveys powerful, profound, memorable emotion (besides Bach or Beethoven's music) meets a high standard. For example, the song "Diamonds" by Rihanna would meet a high standard, the songs by Michael Jackson meet a high standard, and any memorable, powerful, profound song by any musical artist would meet a high standard.

I'd put my fully crafted music into that category. I envision the powerful tunes in my mind to turn out to become fully crafted songs that are just as great as the songs by these musical artists. But, like I said, my songs would be nothing like the songs produced by these artists. My songs would be something completely bizarre and out of this world.

Other Person's Response: Let me point out one last thing here to talk about. You've updated your avatar, and I really like it.

When I go on your soundcloud account, I get the impression of some badass, professional, anime composer, just from looking at your username, and the images you've chosen.

I think this shows a lot about you as a person. Maybe you do have some great potential that has yet to shine. So far, it hasn't shined at all. But perhaps you can make that happen in the future.

My Reply: I hope it does happen. But, I need my positive emotions in order to make that happen.

Other Person's Response: You might as well make this packet a comedy/composing packet. So, go ahead and share another comedy scene.

My Reply: Sure. There's a black guy who's racist, and doesn't like white people. He, therefore, doesn't like the color white. His name would be "Andre." His cupcakes, that were cooked, are done, and white frosting is put on them. Andre notices and replies:

"Oh no you didn't! You just put white frosting on those cupcakes! I need black frosting on my cupcakes!"

The scene then switches over to a new one with Andre. There are some writing mistakes on a white sheet of paper, and someone uses some whiteout. Andre replies in a disappointed tone of voice:

"Is there any blackout around here? Anybody? Didn't think so. On a further note, when I look at sheets of paper, I expect them to be black sheets next time!"

The scene switches over to another one with Andre. He's walking outside, and a random, black stranger, for whatever reason, feels the need to share the fact that he has a white dog with him. The black stranger exclaims:

"Yipee! Look, everyone! I'm a black man, and I have a white dog!"

Another guy there replies to him:

"Umm, yeah. Okay. Why are you sharing this?"

The black stranger replies:

"I don't know! I just feel like sharing this and, now, I'm going to randomly go up to that black guy over there, and share this random fact that I feel like randomly sharing!"

The black stranger walks up to Andre, and exclaims:

"Look at me! I'm a black man with a white dog!"

Andre replies:

"You wouldn't want to meet my black dog. He'll tear your white dog to shreds!"

The scene then switches over to one last one with Andre. His black friend, Mike, arrives to greet him. But, Andre is in a pitch black room, and Mike asks why. Andre replies:

"Because I'm black, and I expect things to be black around here."

Mike turns on the light, which is a white light, and Andre exclaims:

"Ahh! The white! Turn off the white! It's ugly!"

Mike replies (while giving a Star Wars reference):

"No! It's time for you to convert from the Black Side to the White Side, and I'm the man to help you out!"

Other Person's Response: I love that comedy scene! It sounds like something from Family Guy, or maybe even the Cleveland Show, since it talks about black and white people.

My Reply: Since I've watched shows like Family Guy, then I'm able to come up with comedy scenes that match the level of comedy these shows have. Some people would say that level of comedy is mediocre. But, I still think it classifies as great comedy, and many other people, who watch these shows, would think the same. Now, if I've watched displays of the greatest comedy acts throughout my life, then, chances are, I'd be able to come up with comedy scenes that are pure gold. The best of the best.

Other Person's Response: You're into music, and you're learning music theory. Do you have a comedy scene in regards to music?

My Reply: Sure. There's a guy on youtube with the username "Andrew Furmanczyk." He's very popular, and his music theory videos have over a million views. I'll give you a link to one of his videos:

https://youtu.be/6gHEIF0rT2w

Anyway, this guy does joke around a bit throughout his music theory lessons. The comedy scene I make here would be one of his jokes. It's a joke he's never made. So, I'm making my own joke here, and not taking one of his jokes. Andrew draws a note on the white board, but realizes he's made a mistake. So, he attempts to erase the note. But, it doesn't erase. Andrew keeps on trying to erase it. But, it still doesn't erase.

He then goes into a comical form of rage as he tears the note off the board and eats it. The note is shown as a cartoon animation, screaming, as Andrew eats it. Andrew then settles down and says: "Sorry for that random moment. Let's continue with the lesson." So, there's my comedy scene. It would be interesting if Andrew made these sorts of random, comical scenes throughout his music lessons. It would certainly be an upgrade to the style of humor he's already presenting.

Other Person's Response: You certainly do have the spirit and passion of an artist, since your goal is to create powerful and profound music that amazes the audience. But, without the actual talent to compose some amazing music, then you won't get anywhere.

My Reply: That's why I hope I can create the amazing music I want to create someday.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 1/26)

More Support For My Philosophy + Extensive Discussion Section

Note to Reader: You might wonder why this packet is so long. It's because I discuss other things in addition to my philosophy/worldview. Although I do think these other discussed things are important, I don't think they're that important to warrant their own files, and they were relevant to the discussion of my philosophy.

That's why they're all discussed in this big file. Many people might say this is an entire book I've written, rather than a packet. I had nothing better to do than write all this material, since I couldn't enjoy my life or hobbies, due to my miserable struggles (especially this recent struggle, which took the longest to recover from).

I Think I Can Prove The Emotional Perception Theory: Considering how there are many people out there who disagree with the emotional perception theory, I think there's a way for me to personally prove it. This is my own personal argument, which is an attempt to translate emotions into perceptions of good, bad, etc. Positive emotions are the reward wanting and liking in the brain. When you want something and like something, this means it matters to you.

When something is good, bad, beautiful, disgusting, etc. from your perspective, this means it matters to you. For example, if getting a new video game, or movie, was something good or bad for you, that means it was something good or bad from your perspective, which is the same thing as saying it mattered to you. As I mentioned before, positive emotions make things matter to us in good ways, and negative emotions make things matter to us in bad ways, since positive emotions are the perception of good, and negative emotions are the perception of bad.

Now, the only way something can be good, bad, etc. in your eyes is if it matters to you. How can you say that helping someone was good, bad, etc. in your eyes if it didn't matter to you? It makes no sense. A life that doesn't matter to us would, thus, have to be a life that has no goodness, badness, etc. from our perspective. Lastly, here's a link (study) that shows how positive emotions are the reward wanting and liking in the brain:

We have found a special hedonic hotspot that is crucial for reward 'liking' and 'wanting' (and codes reward learning too). The opioid hedonic hotspot is shown in red above. It works together with another hedonic hotspot in the more famous nucleus accumbens to generate pleasure 'liking'.

‘Liking’ and ‘wanting’ food rewards: Brain substrates and roles in eating disorders

Kent C. Berridge 2009 Mar 29.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2717031/

For Those Who Disagree Positive Emotions Are Wanting And Liking: I think there will also be people out there who disagree that positive emotions are a form of wanting and liking. So, here's proof for them. Emotions are a form of motivation. When you have a positive form of motivation to do something, this means you want to do it and like to do it. The religious form of my worldview would say that the force of light (positive emotions) motivates us to have a relationship, create works of art, and to live our lives to the fullest.

Yes, The Light is unreliable, since it can result in harming us and others. But, it's still the only source of beauty and joy in our lives. The Darkness can also motivate us, but makes our lives bad and horrible. The force of light is from the heavens, and the force of darkness is from the lower realms. Our positive emotions make us angels on the inside, our negative emotions make us demons or beings of darkness on the inside, and having apathy just makes us empty vessels on the inside.

A Little Experiment: I have performed a little experiment here, and it's already clear to me that my emotions really are perceptions of beauty, horror, good, bad, tragedy, etc. that give my life perceived beauty, horror, etc. There are certain stimuli that trigger positive or negative emotions, and then there are the types of stimuli that trigger no emotional response. When I look at the cup sitting there on my desk, it triggers no emotional response. I can clearly tell this cup doesn't matter to me and has no perceived beauty, horror, etc. It's nothing more than just a cup sitting there.

Sure, I can think it has perceived beauty, horror, etc. in my life, and that it matters to me. But, those thoughts are just ideas going through my mind that don't make the cup matter to me, or perceived as beautiful, horrific, etc. Now, when I turn my sights over to something that does trigger a positive emotion, such as a character from a video game or anime, I can clearly tell this character matters to me, and has such beauty from my perspective upon feeling a positive emotion.

I clearly notice that all stimuli that trigger no emotional response are stimuli that don't matter to me, and have no perceived beauty, horror, etc., while stimuli that do trigger an emotional response are the stimuli that do matter to me, and have perceived beauty, horror, etc. If people perform this little experiment and report the opposite of my results, then this is just something I don't understand. We live in a society where we're expected to go beyond our emotions.

Thus, we tend to dismiss them as trivial when, in reality, they're vital and the very source of perceived beauty, horror, etc. in our lives. So, maybe this would be a contributing factor to any results opposite of mine in this experiment. I have a keen sense of introspection, and I can clearly tell that emotions make things matter to me and give my life beauty, love, or horror. Maybe others don't have this keen sense of introspection.

My Nightmares: During my worst miserable moments, I've had very horrible nightmares. They've profoundly affected me, since they've consisted of very horrible emotional states far worse than anything I could experience in my waking life. But, then there were those nightmares I've had, which didn't have these horrible emotions.

These nightmares didn't affect me at all, and I've woken up from them like they were nothing. They were nightmares I've had when I was almost fully recovered from those miserable moments. This clearly says that emotions are what give us beautiful or horrible experiences, and that you can have nightmares that consist of the most gruesome, demonic, or hellish imagery and sounds.

But, as long as said nightmares don't have any horrible, disturbing emotions to them, then they're nothing more than images and sounds. They can't possess any horrifying or disturbing power to them. Another thing about dreams and nightmares is that spirits can contact us.

They can be angel spirits, demon spirits, or any spirit in general. Their spiritual energy will be received by our brains during our dreams and nightmares, which allows us to experience their angelic beauty, demonic horror, misery, despair, happiness, etc. via our emotions.

Changing My Philosophy Might Prove Very Difficult: As I said before, my philosophy is profoundly spiritual to me like a religion. Therefore, it would be that more difficult to change. It would be like trying to convert a Christian over to some other worldview, such as atheism, or to some philosophy. Most Christians I know remain Christians their entire lives. Few of them convert. As for me, I’m 31 years old now.

Chances are, I might have this philosophy my whole entire life. Also, most Christians have a disagreement and conflict with atheists, or people with different worldviews. This is no different than how I disagree and debate with other people. What makes this situation even worse for me is that there are many factors that can take away my positive emotions.

If I'm ever put into a position where I lose my positive emotions, and they can't sufficiently recover back to me, this would put me in a position where changing my philosophy is the only option of changing my life for the better, and giving me a whole new set of values.

Unfortunately, this would be no different than putting a Christian in a position where converting over from his religion is the only way to change his life for the better. It would obviously prove very difficult to try to convert this Christian, since he thinks any other worldview is false, and that any set of values not founded upon Christianity aren't the truth.

Lastly, my religion would be a religious form of the emotional perception theory of value. It would be a hedonistic religion. This religion of mine is meant for people who are casual and wish to live happy, fun lives. It's nothing like other religions, which expect us to refrain from and transcend our hedonistic impulses, and to serve a god, even if it made us feel unhappy or miserable.

We Need The Light: People who have near death experiences report they've met a being of light in the higher, heavenly realms known as "God" or "The Light." It is a ball of light that consists of pure joyful, loving, beautiful energy. If positive emotions are god’s holy light within us, then our brains would be receivers that pick up on his invisible, spiritual energy here on Earth. It would be like how a radio picks up radio waves. Even though these waves are invisible, they still exist.

Once received by our brains, god’s energy becomes a divine mental state. It becomes a positive emotional state. Positive emotions are, therefore, the experience of god’s divine power within us. We need this light within us to make our lives beautiful, and to create a paradise here on Earth for us. Without the light, then our lives would amount to nothing good or beautiful.

As for our negative emotions, this would be dark/negative energy from the lower realms, picked up by our brains. So, our goal is to receive as much light as possible, and to avoid receiving the darkness/negative energy, as well as apathy. Sadly, there are many factors that can prevent our brains from receiving the light, and it would be no different than preventing a radio from receiving the signal.

I Need To Become The Being Of Light; Not The Being Of Darkness: If I had the choice, I'd choose to have no negative emotions in my life. Some people would say this is unbalanced. But, if there was an item that could only make my life horrible, bad, or disgusting, then I'd obviously choose to rid of that item out of my life. I treat negative emotions as being that item. If I never had negative emotions in the first place, then I wouldn't have struggled much of my life with all those horrible, miserable moments, and neither would I feel violent or disgust towards myself or others.

When I have negative emotions, I become a horrible, disgusting, violent, or morbid being of darkness, and I can only see things in life from a negative perspective. But, when I have my positive emotions, I become a being of light, since I become something positive, beautiful, and joyful. I need to become that divine, magnificent, angelic being of light, which is the reason why I'd choose to only have positive emotions. But, I'd also want to avoid apathy, since apathy is how I become an empty vessel (neither a being of light nor a being of darkness).

Anime Metaphor: Since I love anime, then I'm going to use an anime metaphor for my worldview. As I said before, I'd describe the perception of beauty, greatness, and magnificence to be a divine state of consciousness, since it's something so vital and precious to our lives. This goes quite well with the anime metaphor I'm going to give.

The anime I'm going to use is Dragon Ball Super, if you're familiar with that show. Imagine if I was a character out on the field, meeting another character. I then induce a profoundly beautiful positive emotion by thinking of something very beautiful and joyful.

This positive emotion is a powerful, intense surge of divine beauty and joy through my conscious being. It transforms me into a Super Saiyan God. I'm now in a divine state of consciousness through this positive emotional state, and that's the reason why I'm now in this god-like/divine form. This form has beautiful aura, and there's beautiful music playing to express my divine form.

I then tell the other character on the field that this form is the ultimate thing in this universe, and nothing compares to it. I tell this character that positive emotions are, therefore, the ultimate divine things in this universe, and that he cannot match such power through his intellect and character.

Especially euphoric states, since these would be the most powerful god-like forms. The character then responds back to me by saying that I transform into the Super Saiyan God through my positive emotions, but that he transforms into the Super Saiyan God through his intellect and character. Now, there are two possibilities here.

The 1st is that this character would transform into a Super Saiyan God, which would mean he really is in that divine mental state (that state of perceiving beauty, magnificence, etc.). As a matter of fact, his Super Saiyan God form could be much more powerful and beautiful than mine.

He might tell me he has much more knowledge and life experience than me, and that's the reason why his form is so much greater than mine. From there, he'd tell me his form is everlasting, unlike mine, which only lasts for a short while. If this 1st scenario is the case, then I'd be very interested in obtaining the Super Saiyan God form this guy has.

It would bring my life perceived beauty and goodness that, not only goes beyond that of my positive emotions, but is everlasting. But, there is a 2nd possibility here. That is, this guy could attempt to transform into a Super Saiyan God through his intellect and character, but won't.

He then might say to me he's a Super Saiyan God, when he really isn't. If this is the case, then he doesn't have that divine state of consciousness. He believes he's perceiving beauty and goodness in his life when he really isn't.

From there, I'd tell him I'm the real god through my positive emotions, and that his intellect and character is nothing compared to positive emotions. So, there's my anime metaphor. I wanted to give this metaphor, since it makes my worldview more interesting.

While I'm on the topic of anime, if I were to feel profound beauty and joy from, for example, a female character, then it's as though her joyful and beautiful presence is there within my conscious being for a limited time only. So, not only do we experience the beauty and joy of moments and things in our lives through our positive emotions, but also the beauty and joy of certain characters.

I Blame It On The Creator: If there is a creator (god), then I put the blame on him for giving me the capacity to feel negative emotions, and I also put the blame on him for making this life filled with misery, suffering, and hardship.

This is a life that's very unhappy, which makes positive emotions something very fleeting. We need to live a blissful, utopia life. I mean, why did he have us live a life that takes away the one and only thing that can make our lives beautiful, joyful, and worth living (our positive emotions)?

Surely, if god wants his creations to become beautiful and joyful beings of light like him, then he would've created a blissful utopia for us all. I realize we're supposed to be multidimensional beings, which means we're beings capable of experiencing more than just the beauty and joys of life.

We're also capable of experiencing sorrow, misery, and despair. Personally, I think it was a mistake then to make us multidimensional beings. We need to be those one dimensional beings who can only feel positive emotions.

Another thing here. I realize it was my own unhealthy thought processes that induced my states of misery. But it's really his fault because god, and the spiritual beings in the heavenly realms, could've at least rendered me without the capacity to feel any negative emotions. That way, any unhealthy thought process wouldn't have made me felt miserable.

This would mean I wouldn't have struggled with all those horrible, miserable moments, and I could've instead been happy during that whole time. This whole miserable struggle of mine was a complete waste of my life. So many people struggle with misery, whether it be misery due to unfortunate circumstances, or unhealthy thought processes that need to be changed.

If it weren't for suffering and misery in the first place, then we wouldn't be able to create our own hell on Earth. We'd only be able to create a beautiful paradise on Earth for us through our positive emotions. Having hell, suffering, torment, and misery only creates major problems, and I think there's no good reason for those things to exist.

Some people would say there is a good reason, and that reason being it's for our own learning and growing. But, learning and growing is nothing good. Only positive emotions are good, since they're the only good things in life. Therefore, learning and growing is all pointless, and life should've been a blissful utopia right from the start. Actually, positive emotions are what make learning and growing something beautiful and positive.

So, learning and growing through misery and despair is pointless. It can only be happy forms of learning and growing that are good and beautiful. An example being me having fun and enjoying the whole learning process of how to compose. Also, my mother has an unhappy struggle of her own, which would be money issues, and I see no reason for her to go through this whole struggle, when god could've made her rich and happy right from the start.

She always complains how living this poor life is a shit way to live, and that she would've been much better off if she was rich from the beginning. That way, she could have luxuries for herself, and she could give money to the poor. But, since she's poor and has no way of earning big bucks, then that denies her of her needs, and that denies other poor people of their needs.

Not only is my mother's financial issues one of these pointless struggles, but there are forms of suffering so horrible that they're obviously pointless. An example being Hitler burning the Jews alive. How's that anything positive for the Jews, and how's that any form of learning and growing for them? The way I see it, life was much better off being a fun, happy, beautiful, joyful adventure (a utopia world).

After all, many people are trying to make this world a better place, and many scientists hope to create the blissful, utopia life for us in the distant future. Therefore, what does this say about diseases, illnesses, struggles, misery, and suffering? It says it's all pointless, and was something to be eliminated since the very beginning.

But, god didn't eliminate these things in the beginning. Therefore, we are left to go through all this trouble of trying to eliminate these things ourselves, and it's not a happy process. Some god that is! He could've made us perfect creations who don't suffer, and he could've made this life a utopia for us all. But, he didn't. Or, maybe, god isn't someone to be put to blame.

Maybe he's just a thing like water that has no intentions. I mentioned earlier that god was this ball of light energy. So, perhaps it's the case we need the light within us, just like how we need water/liquids. You can't blame water if you're someone living in an area of the world, where you're suffering and scarce of water.

Likewise, you can't blame god (the ball of light) if you're someone suffering and scarce of positive emotions. Water is our body's sustenance, and The Light would be our soul's sustenance. We can be physically and spiritually deprived, and neither water, nor The Light, can be put to blame. So, as you can see here, I treat beauty as being a materialistic thing like water or money.

Thoughts/beliefs alone won't give you water or money, and they, alone, can't give any real beauty to your life either. Many spiritual believers talk about transcending our materialistic desires. One of these people would be the Buddhists. But, I really think all things beautiful, positive, and joyful amounts to one, materialistic thing: the positive emotions/the inner light. So, when Buddhists talk about another form of happiness besides positive emotions, they're lying.

They think, if they practice and meditate long enough, they can achieve this form of happiness they claim exists. But, would practicing and meditating long enough allow you to have a new form of hunger and thirst, a new way to feel physical pain, or a new way to hear sound? No! If you're not hungry, thirsty, feeling any physical pain, or hearing any sound, then no other mental state can be real hunger, thirst, physical pain, or sound.

Discussion Section

Other Person's Response: I disagree with your translation of emotions into perceptions of value that was presented above.

My Reply: Emotions make things matter to us, as I said before. Now, if your mother or father died, and their loss didn't matter to you, how could you say that you've experienced the horror and tragedy of their loss? It wouldn't be a real experience. Since perception and experience are the same thing, this would mean you wouldn't be perceiving the horror and tragedy of their loss.

I could also apply this same argument to perceiving/experiencing beauty, greatness, and joy. If there was the celebration of a new millennium (such as the year 2000), and it didn't matter to you, how could you say that you've experienced the beauty, greatness, and joy of that grand moment? Again, it wouldn't be a real experience.

Other Person's Response: When you say that the person needs to experience the beauty or greatness of things, you act as though things already have beauty or greatness, and that the person just needs to perceive/experience said beauty or greatness.

My Reply: Actually, things hold no beauty and greatness in of themselves. But, once we feel that they're beautiful and great, then they become beautiful and great from our perspective.

Other Person’s Response: I think some of your writing is incoherent.

My Reply: If some of this is incoherent gibberish to you, then I don't know what to say. I've tried my best to explain, and that's all I can do. Sometimes, when I write things, people might not be able to understand them, and I'd be willing to clarify some things if need be.

Other Person's Response: In this big, document file, do you go outside your emotional definition of good, bad, etc.?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: There are many things you say that have been repeated.

My Reply: Some things I say might be repeated. But, there are also many new things I say as well. I think everything I say is mostly new things though. Even though it may seem like I just repeat some things, there are new things I say within the context of those repeated things.

Other Person's Response: Do you think you're an intelligent person, given that you've written all of this?

My Reply: No. I know absolutely nothing about life or any given subject. So, I wouldn't consider myself to be intelligent. I'm just an average person who's explaining his philosophy and life predicaments.

Other Person's Response: You sure do write a lot!

My Reply: It would be no different than someone taking photos throughout his life and putting them all into one, big, photo collection. As time goes on, I add more and more things to say in my packets. So, consider everything I've written to be one, big, written collection of material. Sharing my packets to other people would, thus, be no different than someone sharing his huge photo collection.

Other Person's Response: There's one thing I'd love to see in this one, big collection of written material. That would be you discovering greater value and worth to life than emotions. I hope you develop a new, better philosophy, and discuss it someday.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's going to happen. But, alright.

Other Person's Response: Are all the responses and replies in this extensive Q&A Section randomly assorted? In other words, do you discuss one thing with someone, and then go into a whole new discussion with someone else?

My Reply: It's sort of randomly assorted. So, don't be confused if I discuss one thing in regards to my philosophy, and then discuss something else in regards to my philosophy, or in regards to a different topic.

Other Person's Response: You say many people understood your writing and said you're a skilled writer. How do you know they weren't just saying that to be polite? Maybe you're not a skilled writer, and people just didn't want to come right out and tell you the truth.

My Reply: Well, when people responded to the things I've written, their responses have shown a clear understanding of what I've written. So, my writing is good enough if people are clearly understanding it.

Other Person's Response: You say people would be having too high of a standard if they say your writing is awful. What people consider to be a reasonable standard is subjective though.

My Reply: Well, most people would think my writing is good. So, that says my writing really is good enough. But, if I wanted to become a professional writer, then my writing wouldn't be good enough, since it doesn't meet that standard. If I was trying to meet a professional writing standard, I'd have to make my writing appealing to readers, rather than explaining things in a normal, conversational tone. I'd also have to present and explain everything in a professional way. But, I don't think I need to do any of that. If I was an author who was selling books, then I would have to do that.

Other Person's Response: I think you should be a writer, and not a philosopher. You're no good at philosophy, since you lack so much knowledge and life experience necessary. But, you're a skilled writer.

My Reply: Regardless if I'm a skilled philosopher or not, I wish to share my personal experience with others, since it's important they know that my positive emotions are what make my life beautiful and worth living.

Other Person's Response: Since you're not a good philosopher, or have much knowledge and life experience, then many things you say make no sense. If someone had no knowledge and experience when it comes to physics, then the things he'd say would make no sense either.

My Reply: Well, I'm trying my best to make sense to others.

Other Person's Response: Also, I've seen you go on forums and debate with other people. When you debate, some of your responses are poor, and don't really address what's been said.

My Reply: Again, I think that's because I'm not an intelligent person who can put up a good debate. I can only do my best, and if my best isn't good enough, then whatever. I don't care. Also, since I'm not very skilled at having a discussion, or a debate, I might give poor responses that don't really address what the other person has said. I could even misinterpret what the other person has said.

Other Person's Response: Do you wish to be an expert philosopher someday, so you can have an intelligent debate with others, rather than putting up poor, flawed arguments?

My Reply: No. My goal is to be a composer who makes good music. So, I'm just writing everything to get it off my mind and share it.

Other Person's Response: If you simply said that you need your positive emotions to experience your life as beautiful and worth living, that wouldn't make sense to many people. So, that's why you explain everything, so that it all makes sense to people.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Since there are emotion theorists with the same philosophy as you, then why not just give us links that present their arguments, rather than going through all the trouble of typing your own arguments to support your philosophy?

My Reply: First of all, I don't even know where to look online to find these arguments. I tried finding them, but couldn't. Second, intelligent people often write, or say things, that are very difficult for the average reader to comprehend. I know I have a difficult time comprehending what intelligent people say and write. So, that's why I explain my philosophy in a way that's clear and simple for readers.

Think of my written material as being one of those books for dummies, such as Music Theory for Dummies, or Philosophy for Dummies. But, there's one exception, which would be that I'm not a professional writer. That means I wouldn't write a well-written book. But, I could, at least, write well-written packets because, as far as writing packets is concerned, my writing should definitely be good enough.

Other Person's Response: I'm sorry to say it, but your writing isn't good enough, which means you're going to have to learn how to be a skilled writer, whether you want to or not.

My Reply: If that's the case, then I'm not going to even bother. I only take up those pursuits I have an interest in, and learning how to be a skilled writer isn't one of those pursuits. But, all my written material wouldn't have been written for nothing. There are some people who understood my writing quite well, which means sharing my packets isn't a futile endeavor, since some people will understand them. Also, I could have professional writers improvise my writing. But, that would cost me, and only few professionals would do it for free. Especially since there's a ton of written material.

Other Person's Response: I'd consider this entire document to be a poorly written book.

My Reply: It's not a book. It's a personal compilation of information I've written, and I think my level of writing skill qualifies when it comes to writing things like this. But, as for writing an actual book, my level of writing skill wouldn't qualify.

Other Person's Response: Those links you presented in your other packet have many arguments to support the views of emotion theorists.

My Reply: Even so, there might be arguments I'm explaining that haven't been explained in those links.

Other Person's Response: Couldn't you go to online forums, find some intelligent people who'd present links to you that explain everything in regards to your philosophy, and you present those links to people? In addition, couldn't you go online, find professional writers, and see if they can revise your writing?

My Reply: Yes. But, again, it's best if I personally explain my philosophy to make it easy and comprehensive for readers. As far as having professionals revise my writing, I'd probably only get a few revisions done for free. After that, I'd have to pay them, and my mother doesn't have the money for that right now.

Other Person's Response: I think your philosophy is very dumb.

My Reply: I don't care how dumb others think it is. This has been my personal experience, and I'm not afraid to share it.

Other Person's Response: You also give very poor analogies that don't make sense to people.

My Reply: If that's the case, then I'm just no good at making analogies.

Other Person's Response: Since this packet is so long, do you talk about other things besides your worldview/philosophy?

My Reply: Yes. I talk about these immortality rings I purchased, I talk about Christianity, I talk about my phobias, and more. Since all these other topics were relevant to the discussion of my philosophy/worldview, then that's why these other topics are discussed in this packet. It would be a bit too much work for me to make those other topics into other packets. I'd have to go through this whole packet, find the responses/replies that discuss these other topics, and make them into different packets. Besides, I think it's alright having all these other discussed topics in this one, big packet.

These other topics aren't really all that important to me anyway. So, they don't warrant their own packets. For example, it's not really important that others are aware of my phobias. Another example would be that I do care if Christians tell me I'm going to hell (since I discuss with them in this packet). But, I really don't care that much. Now, when it comes to the things I discuss in my Composing Dream packet, that warrants its own packet. So, I only make different packets when it's something I think is very important that others need to know about me, or about something I wish to discuss.

Other Person's Response: Do you think your writing skill is above the average skill level?

My Reply: Actually, I do think so. Average people tend to have poor or, moderately poor, spelling, grammar, etc. I know this from personal experience, and I'm quite sure others have had this personal experience as well. Since my writing skill is better than that of an average adult, then I'd consider my writing skill to be above average. But, there are some flaws with my writing, and I am limited when it comes to my vocabulary. So, my writing skill wouldn't be at a professional level.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think you're wasting your writing talent on writing all of these pointless packets. You could instead be using that talent for something better.

My Reply: I don't want to take up writing stories, poetry, or anything of the sort. I just want to write these packets, since I personally think they're important to share.

Other Person's Response: You share a lot of worthless things. For one, your philosophy is pathetic, shit, and utterly worthless. Who'd want to live by, or even bother with such a philosophy? Secondly, your musical tunes are worthless rubbish.

My Reply: People who'd think my philosophy is shit or worthless would be living by, what they think are, greater values than the values my philosophy advocates/preaches. Thus, they'd just ignore my values and deem them as worthless. They'd say they have a greater purpose in life than living for positive emotions. But, things people abandon and ignore sometimes become the truth. People often times deny the truth and go about their daily lives. So, my philosophy might be true, and people are just dismissing it. They might be living by false values, which means they're living a lie. I think emotions are the only real source of value.

Other Person's Response: I think some people would actually find your philosophy worth reading and taking into consideration.

My Reply: Yes. One man's trash is another man's treasure. So, even though many people would think my philosophy is worthless, there will be people who'd be interested in it. Especially the emotion theorists. I think they'd find it interesting how I turned their emotional perception theory of value into a religion.

Other Person's Response: Many people won't accept the notion that this is the only life we have. So, they believe in an afterlife. Likewise, people won't accept the notion that positive emotions are the only way our lives can be good and beautiful. So, they believe there's more beauty and goodness to life.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: I heard you say you have a limited vocabulary. That's why you tend to use the same words time and time again. That shows you're a limited individual. So, you could also be limited in terms of your experience. Maybe there really is more beauty and goodness to life than positive emotions, and you don't realize this yet.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: Why do you write so much?

My Reply: It's an obsession, it's to get everything off my mind, and share it. If I just left it at a simple statement that gets right to the point, then that wouldn't explain everything I needed to explain. Not only that, but it also wouldn't address all possible objections others have to my personal views. Having a simple, brief statement would leave room for plenty of objections, and I don't want that.

As long as people have objections that leave them name calling me and whatnot, then they lack understanding of me and my whole situation. That's why I address these objections, so that people can finally understand. Think of two people having an argument, such as a daughter, who has broken a plate, and her mother complaining, and calling her clumsy. If that daughter really wasn't being clumsy, then the mother lacks understanding.

Sure, the daughter can give one, simple argument to explain how she wasn't being clumsy. But, the mother would only continue to stand by her position in the argument. Eventually though, the mother would finally understand once the daughter continues to address the mother's arguments. That is, if the mother takes consideration into these arguments, and doesn't say to the daughter that she's just making excuses.

People lack understanding when they say my emotions aren't perceptions of value, or when they call me a childish, piece of shit, since my positive emotions are the only things that make my life beautiful. They would say things, such as that I'm worthless and better off killing myself. This is why I've written all of these essays and Q&A Sections. Not only that, but I'm trying to prove something, and I also like to share all my personal views with others.

Other Person's Response: In the future, we might be able to instantly share our thoughts and ideas telepathically. That means people could immediately know everything about you and your whole predicament in the blink of an eye. Thus, you wouldn't have to sit there and argue with people, or have them read all the things you've written. You could just instantly share all the information in your brain to other people. Unfortunately, that would be in the distant future, and you won't live long enough to see that day.

My Reply: That would be a major advantage if I could do that. This means I wouldn't have to worry about people not reading the things I've written, since they don't have the time, patience, or if my writing skill doesn't meet their higher standards. Also, if supernatural beings do exist, then they could know everything about me and my predicament. Thus, they'd have a complete understanding of me and my whole situation. I wouldn't have to explain anything to them. Lastly, as for me not living long enough to see that day, I could if these immortality rings work for me. I talk about them in this packet.

Other Person's Response: I heard that you've copied and pasted all the material you've written in these packets into your journals on your Deviant Art account. You've also uploaded these packets onto Mediafire. That way, they're backed up. If there's a way for people to download all information from the internet into their brains in the future, then all the information in your packets would be instantly downloaded into their brains, since all that information is already there online.

My Reply: That would be interesting.

Other Person's Response: Are you obsessed with getting every thought off your mind in regards to your philosophy?

My Reply: Yes. That's why I write so much. I wish to share what's on my mind.

Other Person's Response: If you think that anything's unfair or unjust, you write about it?

My Reply: Yes. In this packet, I also talk about fundamentalist Christianity, and why I personally think hell is unjust and unloving.

Other Person's Response: Do you find it difficult to articulate to readers?

My Reply: Sometimes. For example, I might not be explaining things that need to be explained. So, others might find certain things I write to be unclear. I might also use certain words and phrases others would find confusing. I could write something such as: "It's all fine!" Someone might ask me what I mean by that. I'd respond and say to them that it means:

"Everything's alright. I won't have any issues here." That's why I must sit there and really think what I type before I type it. I wish to communicate to readers in such a way they can understand it. To do that, I must type the right things. In the past, I didn't do that. I just wrote things and expected readers to understand. I wasn't being as clear as I possibly could.

Other Person's Response: Do you sometimes explain things in such a way that the reader gets a different message than you intended?

My Reply: Yes. That's why I have to be careful about how I explain the things I wish to explain.

Other Person's Response: When writing your packets, do you try to write in such a way that it's universally understood by readers? For example, if you said you beat a video game, some people would understand that, since they know you meant that you completed a game. But, some people wouldn't understand that, and might think that you literally beat one of your video games with a hammer. So, by instead saying that you've completed a video game, everyone would understand that.

My Reply: Yes. I try to make my explanations universally understood my readers. I also try not to leave out explanations that are needed, so the reader gets the right message. For example, if I just said we don't know the truth when it comes to debatable topics, some people would come along and say we can never know the truth with absolute certainty, since the closest we can get to the truth is 99.9%.

But, if I said we don't know the truth as to whether it's likely a certain claim is true or not, since there's so much debate/controversy about it, then that was the point I was trying to get across to readers. So, the reader would've gotten the wrong message in my first attempt at explaining something. But, once I revise my explanation, the reader gets the right message.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 2/26)

Other Person's Response: There are shows that perform dangerous stunts, and, sometimes, there's a warning message on the screen, which reads: "Don't try this at home." Someone might respond to this message by saying: "Alright. I'll try it somewhere else then!" Even though it should've been obvious that the message really meant to not attempt these stunts at all, there are some viewers out there who might get the wrong message. Thus, they might attempt these dangerous stunts outside their homes. So, it's important that you're very specific to your viewers, or readers. Otherwise, they might get the wrong message.

My Reply: Yes, and that can be difficult to do. Especially when you're writing a lot of material, and have to think about everything you've written to make sure it's very specific to readers. I, myself, have been in many situations where I've written things, and thought the intended message of my writing should've been obvious to readers. Still, they got the wrong message, and there were also many people who thought my writing was incoherent word salad. But, I've taken this issue into consideration, and that's why I'm a better writer today than what I was a while ago. I'm much more clear and specific to my readers now.

Other Person's Response: You think your writing is good enough. But, is the reader really to be put to blame if he says your writing is awful?

My Reply: I think so. I think it would be justified to blame the reader. My writing should be more than acceptable at this point.

Other Person's Response: I know you do repeat some things in your writing, and you say you have obsessive compulsive disorder. Maybe you don't have OCD, and you just have autism. People with autism also repeat things, and have obsessions.

My Reply: Yes. I know I have autism, since I used to line up objects when I was a child. As for ocd, I might not have that.

Other Person's Response: I heard you used to wash your hands over and over again when you were younger, until they were very dry, and to the point of almost bleeding. I think this says you really do have obsessive compulsive disorder.

My Reply: I wanted my video game discs to be in the best condition they could be. That means I didn't want any grime, finger prints, or scratches on them. So, I'd wash my hands every time I handled them, and I handled them a lot. Some people would say I'm a perfectionist, rather than someone with ocd, since I wanted my discs in perfect condition. Maybe they're right. But, now, even though I do wash my hands before handling my discs, I don't do it as often anymore. The only time I wash my hands before handling them would be if my hands are covered in grime. For example, if I ate some ribs, then I'd wash my hands. So, I no longer wash my hands when it's unnecessary.

Other Person's Response: Who knows. If you manage to prove your philosophy, you might earn a Nobel Prize, and you would compel many scientists to create a better, happier life for us all. If scientists realize positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful, then they'd come to realize people struggling with depression is unacceptable, and they'd be very compelled to find cures.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's going to happen. But, a man can dream.

Other Person's Response: If positive emotions really are the only things that make life good and beautiful, then it really is unacceptable for this life to consist of such suffering and unhappiness. I do agree with you when you say that this life needs to be a utopia.

My Reply: I have my rights as a human being, which means I have a right to live a life that's good and beautiful. This life being an unhappy place only imposes upon said rights. If god and these spiritual beings exist, then them creating a utopia life for us would be no different than Abraham Lincoln setting the slaves free, or soldiers fighting for our freedom. It's simply unjust for this life to consist of mental illnesses that take away our positive emotions, and it's even more unjust for life to consist of immense, emotional suffering. An example would be my miserable struggles, since they were the most horrible experiences of my personal life. God and these spiritual beings are apparently doing nothing about it, and I don't know why.

Other Person's Response: You writing this whole packet would also be no different than someone speaking up for his rights and explaining how his rights have been imposed upon.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy says positive emotions are the only things that make life good and beautiful. How do you make it in life with such a philosophy?

My Reply: Normally, I'd always be happy and enjoying my life. So, my philosophy poses no problems for me when I'm happy. But, when it comes to miserable moments in my life, that's when I'm in trouble, since I don't have my positive emotions. If I developed some sort of mental illness that took away my positive emotions, that's when my philosophy would become a problem, too. Other than that, it's no problem for me. My philosophy hasn't been a problem for me for many years, since I've always lived my life as a happy hedonist. But, later on, I struggled with much misery, and that's where I was in serious trouble.

Other Person's Response: Are you writing all of this as a con or hoax?

My Reply: No. I'm just sharing my personal views and experiences.

Other Person's Response: You say readers can't appreciate your writing, due to their unreasonably high standards. I don't think that's the case. I think they'd have every good reason to think your writing is bad, or not good enough.

My Reply: There are many people who can't appreciate things, whether it be certain products, certain works of art, life in general, etc. So, I think these people wouldn't be appreciating my writing.

Other Person's Response: Different people will have different standards though, and you just have to accept that.

My Reply: I realize this. But, if it's possible, all I'm asking is that people, who do have high standards, to lower them. My mother is an awful writer, and she spells terribly. But, the person she writes to understands her writing quite well. He even accepts her writing. I think it's because he's used to reading material that's poorly written. Even I understood her writing.

Therefore, even if my writing was just as poor as my mother's, it's still possible for people to understand and accept my writing anyway. They can do so by adapting to a lower standard. But, my writing is much better than that of an average person who spells terribly and writes poorly. So, there's no excuse for people to complain about my writing skill, and not read my packets.

Other Person's Response: By complaining about readers having too high of a writing standard, you're going to turn readers away. They won't bother reading your packets.

My Reply: That's fine. If some people don't read my packets, then they don't read them.

Other Person's Response: I thought the way you presented and explained things was a bit difficult and challenging.

My Reply: All I'm doing is presenting and explaining things in a very simple, clear, and straightforward fashion. I don't understand what's so difficult and challenging about that.

Other Person's Response: There are some flaws with your writing, and that's what makes it a bit difficult.

My Reply: Plenty of people have understood my writing quite well. Besides, human beings aren't like machines that require the exact right input, and spit out an error if the input wasn't perfect. My point is, human beings should still easily understand my writing, even though it's not perfect, or nearly perfect. If I was sharing my material to a robot, then, yes, I'd have to give him material that's written perfectly (or near perfection) in order for him to understand it, and not spit out an error. But, like I said, human beings aren't robots.

Other Person's Response: I think your writing has to be more interesting in order to attract readers.

My Reply: I'm not concerned about that. People can take it or leave it. If they choose not to read it, even after everything I said about people having too high of a standard, and not accepting my writing as it is, then that's their choice. But, I do know some people out there would take the time to read through my packets.

Other Person's Response: I thought you said you'd be willing to improve your writing. That would even include making your material more interesting for readers.

My Reply: Sure. But, I don't have an English teacher, or someone who could help me with that. So, people should just accept my writing as it is. It's not like it's horribly written, like a 6 year old making all sorts of spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors, and presenting/explaining things so badly, that nobody can understand it.

Other Person's Response: Since there's so much to read in this packet, then how are people supposed to know where they last left off reading?

My Reply: If they open this document in, for example, Microsoft Word, then I think the software automatically gives this whole document page numbers. So, people can write down the page number they last left off reading.

Other Person's Response: If people stopped reading at a certain point, they could select a portion of text they last left off reading, copy it, paste it into another document file, and save that document. From there, they could select that text, copy it, and paste it into the Find function at the top of this huge document, which would allow them to continue reading where they last left off reading.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, reality is almost never a happy place. I told you before that you've painted yourself into a corner, and left yourself open to inevitable disaster. This is highly likely to lead to your eventual suicide. Think about the millions, billions of people, and years that have come before you. You've seen movies depicting life hundreds of years ago, yes? People's lives have generally always been filled with extreme misery.

From hunger and famine, to brutal, hard labor, to medical issues and injuries, to wars and isolation, to the idea that we all become confronted by the fact that, one day, each and every one of us, yourself included, will die. I mean, the most immediate inevitable problem that comes to my mind is: what will you do when your mother, whom you claim to be so dependent on, dies?

To face such an inevitable reality must be terrifying. How could you even come close to being happy while having the capacity to know these things? I really don't know how you get through the day with the philosophy you put forward. It would take a strong will to live in a complete fantasy, divorced of reality. Yet, that can only protect you until the point that an event actually occurs. At which point, you'll fall into despair. I wouldn't want anyone to be subjected to that nightmare.

I say these things not to be mean, but to impress upon you that the answer to this question, and the advice you're seeking, has already been offered to you numerous times before in other parts of the forums. Your "worldview" (your philosophy of hedonism) is your undoing. It is the single, greatest threat to your life and your happiness, precisely because the world isn't fair, it doesn't care about your feelings, and every time reality hits, you'll sink into an ever-deepening well of depression that will eventually scar you so much that it consumes you whole. It will destroy you. Only by seeking knowledge and learning will you uncover better philosophies, and better tools to protect yourself.

For example, Stoicism would be far more beneficial of a philosophy than hedonism. Especially for you. All the hedonists I've ever known were essentially bi polar, going from super highs of happy, to deep depression, anger, hatred, and self-loathing. It ripped apart their relationships, leaving them alone, only to sink deeper into drugs and alcohol for an escape. Their intoxicating, happy moments would lead others to follow them, only to be destroyed by them when the happy moments run out. To me, it's an evil, harmful, dangerous existence. This is my personal opinion, experiences here, and justification for the advice I'm giving you.

In short, the only answer, the only protection, and the only advice myself, or anyone else here, could really give you on this particular question is to utilize whatever capacity you're able to in order to develop yourself as a person. You need to enrich your mind with knowledge, and you need to understand that, unless you can find security and stability in the worst of life's moments, the best of life's moments will become less and less happy until all you're left with is darkness and despair. When that happens, you will kill yourself. I speak from experience here, man. I've seen a lot of shit in my life, and this is a serious answer to your question.

My Reply: Maybe all I need is a whole new personal experience that can give my life positivity. Perhaps there's a way for me to acquire this new personal experience (mental state). Therefore, maybe I really don't need to study up and learn things. Maybe I just need to do something new with my life, or get the proper help from a therapist. Also, if I need help, I'll get it. I'm not just going to end my life.

One last thing. If there's a god, then why isn't he ensuring my happiness and well-being? I take personal issue with that, and I think it's cruel, uncaring treatment. If you're going to provide a service for your customers, then you have to make sure it's a good service that makes the customers happy. Likewise, a loving god should've provided us with a blissful, utopia life to make us all happy.

I would've expected this life to be a good service that provides us with immortality, eternal bliss, freedom of misery and hardship, whatever we desire, etc. But, I didn't get that, and I'm more than curious as to why an all-loving god wouldn't provide us with that. Who knows, it could be the case that there's no god, and this is the only life we have.

In which case, I hope these immortality rings work for me, so I can live to see a better future. It would be a future meant for our longevity and happiness. Since there'd be no god giving us a good service, then it's up to scientists to do the job. If these rings don't work for me, then I'm also out of luck. Not only in terms of happiness, but longevity.

Other Person's Response: I'm going to quote something the above person said and respond to it:

Yet, that can only protect you until the point that an event actually occurs. At which point, you'll fall into despair. I wouldn't want anyone to be subjected to that nightmare.

I heard you said earlier that you're no longer going to have anymore miserable moments, since you're keeping your mindset positive from now on. In the past, you've had a negative mindset of worrying, which brought you much misery. But, now, you're having a mindset that will no longer bring you such suffering, right?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Let me butt in here for a moment. If there's a god, then I think we were meant to serve him. I'm a Christian, and I think life was meant to be filled with hardship because we were meant to bear our cross for Jesus.

My Reply: I disagree. I think an all-loving god would serve us, and make this life free of hardship and misery. Especially considering that positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful. It would be a caring, generous act of scientists to create a utopia life for us, just as how it would be a caring, generous act of an all-loving god to create such a life for us.

Other Person's Response: If scientists do create this future, utopia life for us, then what about those people who see value in a life of hardship, pain, disease, misery, and want that? There are people who value tough, brutal battles, and character growth/strength. I don't think we should leave these people out of the picture.

My Reply: I mentioned earlier that a utopia life would also give us whatever we desire. So, for those who wish to live short, hard lives, filled with struggles, can choose to have that, while people, who wish to live blissful, easy, immortal lives, can have that. I think having life one way isn't going to work out for everybody. For example, if this life were blissful, and free of hardship and misery for everybody, then that wouldn't work out for those types of people who value hardship and misery.

Likewise, this being a life that's unfair, and filled with misery, unhappiness, pain, disease, and hardship obviously isn't going to work out for everybody either. It clearly doesn't work out for me. To expect me to find value in a life of misery and unhappiness would be no different than expecting a tough, brutal person, who values hardship, to find value in an easy, happy life, free of hardship. So, I think the best solution would be to create a life that's suitable for each individual. I think scientists need to make that happen somehow.

Other Person's Response: If, let's pretend, this utopia life were real, and you got to live it, would you ever choose to live the life of hardship, pain, misery, and struggles?

My Reply: If I ever wanted to change and grow as a person, then I'd choose that life. In the meantime, I'd want to live the blissful life of my dreams all I wanted to. I'm not sure if I'd ever want to grow as a person. A hedonistic lifestyle has always been the life I've been familiar with, and found value in. It's like home to me. So, it would be very difficult for me to prefer another way of life. Think of someone who's lived as a tough, brutal man in a life of hardship and misery. It would be very difficult for that person to prefer a happy life, free of hardship, if his tough, brutal life was the life he's always found value in.

Other Person's Response: You said you might not be able to develop a better philosophy, no matter how hard you try. So, it might be pointless and futile for you to live a life of hardship, pain, and misery. All the miserable struggles you've already had never resulted in you developing a better philosophy. So, I think it would be best for you to just live that utopia life, without ever choosing a tough life.

My Reply: Right.

Other Person's Response: I personally find your preference of an eternal, blissful, utopia life to be depressing and sad. It's a meaningless existence.

My Reply: I don't think it is. Think of a happy, carefree child, living the blissful Disney life of his/her dreams, and for said life to last eternity. I fail to see that as sad, or a meaningless existence.

Other Person's Response: You wish life to be a happy, fun adventure that never ends. But, that's the opposite of what life is. It's a life filled with misery, unhappiness, hardship, and people die, whether it be sometime soon, or when their lives are over. This life is very temporary, and not a happy place.

My Reply: In a way, it would be like people are characters in a video game, playing a war where they all battle, struggle, and die shortly. But, I'm the character in that game who just wants to be happy, have fun, adventure, never dies, and never struggles. I would, therefore, be playing the game in a way that it's not intended. But, my method of playing the game isn't compatible with the game I'm playing because it's a war game, where we all battle, struggle, and die.

That's why I'd want to put in a new game cartridge, if you will. This new game would be a happy, fun, adventure game, where it's free of hardship, death, and misery. Unfortunately, I'm stuck with this loathsome game. That means I have to play a game I don't like, and don't want to play. I consider this game to be someone else's, and not my own. I'd want my own game to play if I had the choice. That's why I'd choose to live my own blissful, eternal, utopia life.

Other Person's Response: If god made this life perfect, then there would be no learning and growing.

My Reply: If god couldn't make this life free of suffering, for whatever reason, then he could've at least bestowed me with all the life lessons I needed to learn upon my very birth. If he did that, then I would've known to keep my thought processes healthy right from the start in order to avoid all that suffering I've been through.

I think it would be better if god put knowledge in a person's head right from the start that, for example, smoking would definitely be hazardous to his health, rather than allowing that person to smoke, and have his health destroyed later on. That way, this person would definitely see his future, and avoid smoking in the first place. Scientists are making our lives easier and preventing suffering, and I think god should be like these scientists.

Other Person's Response: Clearly, I was too harsh last time. I'll try and say it more nicely.

1. At this stage, you really should seek help from a professional.

2. How can anyone help you if, when you go to a place for help, ask for help, and someone answers you in a meaningful way, you ignore them, and refuse the help that was offered? So, please, seek professional help.

My Reply: Understood. But, I think this change of my values would require a change in my whole personality. I'm someone who wants life to be a beautiful, joyful, fun adventure that never ends. The most important things to me in life are longevity and positive emotions. Hence my yearning for the eternal, blissful afterlife of my dreams. Longevity without positive emotions would be nothing positive, and I wouldn't want to live that life. But, positive emotions without the longevity would be a positive life for me. However, I'd really hate a positive life to be something so temporary. That's why a combination of longevity and positive emotions would be the greatest life for me.

Other Person's Response: Also, your idea of permanent happiness would be impossible without some sort of mind control device, or highly destructive drugs, which would strip you of all aspects of your person hood. How do I put it.....

Hmm...

Well, you'd be sad if your mom died, yes? I mean, she's going to die one day, and that's sad. When that day comes, would you really want to be smiling and happy, feeling nothing for your mother, and just happily dancing on her grave? How can you claim to love someone if they mean so little to you that their death doesn't make you sad?

What I'm trying to say is, what you're trying to achieve isn't possible, and if it was possible, choosing that would be the most heartbreaking thing I could imagine. I would cry.....

My Reply: I think you can care about someone through positive emotions alone without the negative emotions. As for me losing every aspect of my humanity through an eternal, blissful life, I'm not sure if that would happen. Some spiritual believers claim it wouldn't happen.

Other Person's Response: So, according to you, we should look at the situation of our loved ones dying in a whole new way that brings us joy? If heaven exists, then we should see it as a situation where our loved ones, who've passed away, have simply relocated to a better place? It would be like a family member going on a beautiful vacation, and staying there. But, we get to meet him/her someday.

My Reply: Correct. Looking at it that way will, hopefully, prevent any emotional trauma or misery.

Other Person's Response: Would you grieve if your mother died?

My Reply: I'm not sure how I'd feel. If this is the only life we have, then human beings are just biological machines. We'd live, die, and that's it. Thus, we'd be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. So, maybe, it wouldn't really matter to me if she died, since she'd be insignificant in this universe. Now, if we are special in this universe, and we get to live a heavenly afterlife, then I wouldn't grieve over her death either because I'd know she's in a happy place, and I'd meet her there someday.

Other Person's Response: What if you were a spiritual being (a soul) who got to live a blissful afterlife, while your mother was also a spiritual being, but would die, and that be the end of her?

My Reply: That's when I might start to feel bad over her death. This is because she'd be significant and special in this universe, but wouldn't get to live on in a happy place like I would.

Other Person's Response: I realize you had an emotional trauma at one point in your life, and it was in regards to the idea that you might die, and that be the end of your existence, since we might just be biological machines. If you're insignificant in this universe, then why should it matter to you if you die for good? Why should it even traumatize you? You wouldn't be traumatized if your mother died for good. So, I don't understand why you were traumatized about the idea of your existence being finite.

My Reply: I'm not sure. I guess our ego seeks to survive, and we become traumatized when we realize our existence is finite or, at least, consider the possibility that our existence is finite.

Other Person's Response: When you say you wouldn't be sad about the idea of your mother dying for good, since we'd be insignificant in this universe, is that a coping mechanism you're using to prevent yourself from suffering?

My Reply: Actually, that's just the mindset I'd normally have. But, it's also a coping mechanism anyone could use.

Other Person's Response: There are 2 forms of significance a person can have. The 1st would be that he's a special, spiritual being who's eternal, and loved by higher beings. The 2nd would be, even though his existence is finite, and he's not a special, spiritual being in this universe, he was still a beautiful person. As you can see, you can still be a naturalist who doesn't believe in any supernatural things. Yet, human beings can still be beautiful and precious to you anyway.

My Reply: I personally see no value in the 2nd form of significance. So, the 2nd form means nothing to me. That's why I might not grieve if my mother died (in the case of the 2nd scenario). That's because her death would be of no significance to me. Only the 1st form of significance holds profound meaning to me. So, that's why I might feel sad if my mother was a special, spiritual being, but died, and that was the end of her existence.

Other Person's Response: So, what you're saying is, if this universe is purely naturalistic, then your attitude would be: "We all live, die, and that's it. So what? We're nothing special in the grand scheme of things. I don't care if you die, mother!" But, if we are special in the grand sense, and we live in a spiritual universe where supernatural things exist, then your attitude would be: "You're very special in this universe, mother! I don't want to you die, and that's it! It would be sad if your beautiful spirit didn't get to live on, and got destroyed somehow!" I personally think this is a very black and white mindset because you see your mother as precious in one scenario, but don't see her as precious at all in the other scenario.

My Reply: You could be right. Even if this universe was purely naturalistic, I'd still feel joy from being with my mother, which means she'd have some significance to me. But, if she died, I don't think I'd feel sad one bit. It would be a very shallow existence if we just live, suffer, die, and that's it. I think it would be profoundly beautiful if this was a universe where we're all special, eternal, spiritual beings who got to live the eternal, blissful afterlife of our dreams.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy of hedonism, my heart breaks for hedonists, precisely because they can't see what it is they're missing. I would not advice you avoid pain, hardship, or sorrow for a few reasons:

Our shared pain and hardship brings us closer, forging stronger bonds, and helping us to have more meaningful relationships. Shared hardship can forge bonds so strong that virtually nothing could tear them apart. You'll have people in your life that you know would never abandon you, and leave you alone. Superficial relationships built on only "happy" feelings aren't that strong, and they do shatter.

Your mom may not abandon you. But, it's also possible, and highly probable, that she sees you as a hardship, regardless if she admits it or not. To be fair, that's not entirely a bad thing if she does. She'd seek out help from her community, and forge other bonds to help her because she has to support you because you're not developed enough to support yourself. Also, this isn't an insult. Just your reality, and you may not be able to help it.

But, you see what's happening here? Your desire at forcing happiness comes at the expense of others around you. They can hide it for a while. But, it can't last forever. Even your mom does have a breaking point and, by choosing to not try and grow as much as you can, you burden her more. Nothing about your outlook on life is good. Not for you, or anyone in your life. People who tell you otherwise aren't your friends, they don't care about you, and they aren't helping you, even if it seems good.

Ever watch Star Wars? Yoda: "Quicker, easier, more seductive." That's what he says about the dark side. That's kinda similar to the path you're on now. Those who choose the dark side think they have very good reasons for doing so. But, in the end, it destroys them. You think you have good reasons for choosing the path you're on and, yet, many people have told you how dangerous it is, and how it can, and will destroy you.

You're not finding success in it at all anyway.... "Life often isn't a happy place." You said so yourself. It's not working for you. If it was working for you, why do you seek help? If your outlook on life was healthy for you, you wouldn't have ever come here, and you wouldn't have come into the personal support section. Assuming you're being honest about all this, it's pretty clear even you realize that there's a problem with what you're doing.

Fear is the mind killer (to quote the book Dune). I'd advice you to try and take the offer of help you're getting, and see if maybe there's a better way. A way to truly be content with your life. The highs will be higher, and the lows won't hurt so much. You'll be happier, you'll enrich the lives of those around you, and make their lives better. It's certainly better than draining them of their happiness to feed your own.

My Reply: I've taken this path, and have remained with it because I was highly doubtful about this idea that there's more good and beauty to life than positive emotions. Also, I do support myself, and I'm really not a burden to my mother.

Other Person's Response: You claim emotions are perceptions of value and, yet, emotions are fleeting, ever changing, and completely transient. They always have been, and always will be, for very good biological reasons. They're simply a natural process, and nothing more. You aren't getting "value" or "values" from your emotions. You're just getting well-understood chemical reactions from them that you either like, or don't like.

I mean, look at it this way. Some drugs feed your brain exactly what you crave (take sugar, for instance, along with heroin). By your own standards, the things you should value most, because they'll make you happiest, are sugar, heroin, meth, or whatever. Take your pick. They release chemicals in your brain that make you feel good, and the sad reality is, they aren't always effective.

Other sources of happiness, whether they be people, toys, movies, books, etc., those make you happy. But, their effectiveness will always diminish over time. Therefore, by your value system, you should be completely addicted to drugs and sugar (which I think is also a drug. But, that's another story).

But, what would happen if you just took sugar, and had lots of it all the time? You'd have diabetes, like I do. Want to know how horrifying living with diabetes is? I can tell you. What about drugs? Ever seen a meth head? Do I need to describe to you how terrible their lives are?

Because I understand WHY you have feelings (since I understand the biology behind it), I understand why you can't achieve your goal of happiness long term. The brain gets bored of most things that cause happiness after a while. So, you'd have to constantly be seeking new sources of happiness. But, eventually, you'd run out. Then, your brain would be bored, and you'd get depressed. You'd feel empty, and not even know the source of that emptiness. The word to describe that state is melancholy.

You go down this path long enough, and you'll find it near impossible to ever feel happy. Things that used to make you feel happy will just be hollow and empty. I know this because I've been there. I wasn't dedicated to the path you're on. But, I took my own path that led to a similar place. This state is a state of depression. You could then turn to medical science for a solution. You could try antidepressants, which aren't really the best solution.

But, you've already destroyed almost all other options. Or, you could turn to illegal drugs, which will be a problem for you. In the end, there's no happy ending on the road you're choosing. Think of me as a road sign. I'm telling you that the canyon you're trying to cross has a bridge out, and you're speeding towards it so fast that, by the time you can see it for yourself, it's going to be too late.

My Reply: I already realize that, according to my value system, getting high off of drugs would bring my life the greatest joy and beauty, and that said beauty and joy wouldn't last me. Nonetheless, I'm still going with my personal experience here. My personal experience was something powerful and profound. Thus, I'm going with the idea that emotions are the perceptions of good, bad, etc. But, I can still make choices, such as not doing drugs.

Other Person's Response: Well, I don't recommend this, but I can only give you one answer to achieve your stated goal. Meth.

It will make you feel good, and your brain will never get tired of it. Please understand I'm not recommending it. I just know it's effective. That's a fact. Shouldn't that give you pause that the most effective (and, frankly, the only way) to achieve what you say you want is an illegal drug?

Shouldn't that suggest to you that maybe your feelings aren't always right?

Edit^ You know, when I was a kid in Christian school, they always said "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to think and reason."

My Reply: My personal experience was something so powerful and profound that nothing will convince me otherwise. As for your question, this statement already implies that emotions tell us things. They tell us that certain things are good, bad, horrible, or disgusting. Haven't you ever felt that someone, or something in your life, was beautiful, horrible, or disgusting? This is what I mean here when I say that emotions really are the perception of good, bad, etc.

Other Person's Response: ?...I don't disagree. Emotions do "tell us things." But, that doesn't mean emotions are always right. From a biological standpoint, emotions are critical to our survival as individuals, and a species.

Example 1: I had to correct myself earlier because what you said I found offensive, and I was snippy with you. Julep kinda corrected me there, and I also realized it, and corrected myself. That was an emotional response I shouldn't have acted upon.

Example 2: Numerous other biological responses can be deadly. As I recall (I could be wrong here) in the presence of fire, the throat can close up to protect the body. Problem being, it can do so in such a violent way as to cause the human exposed to this to suffocate from their own bodily response. Thus, effectively killing themselves before the fire can get the job done. There are other examples. The fight or flight response to danger can often cause problems that lead to pain injury, and death.

Example 3: People get fooled all the time by con artists, trying to take advantage of them, steal their money, or hurt them. They make these decisions largely because someone is manipulating them by manipulating their emotional responses.

Example 4: Ever want a toy? Ever want a toy so bad you think you might die if you don't get it? You want it, and you think it'll make you so happy if you get it. You're so excited. Even more so when you get it. But, then you start to play with the toy, and are completely disappointed. Your emotions aren't always right.

To some extent, these are experiences everyone alive have faced, and we know how they work. That is why I can give you thoughtful, meaningful advice on these issues, even though I'm not you, and I've never had your specific experiences.

Just because you feel something doesn't mean it's right, or that it's the best path. It just means you feel something. What you choose to do after that, ideally, would be after careful consideration.

My Reply: But, emotions are still the only source of good, bad, etc. in my life though, and I'm not sure if there are other ways I can perceive good, bad, etc. besides emotions.

Other Person's Response: Matt, want to know where my values come from? I don't draw value from something that can change on any day of the week because anything so easily destroyed isn't a stable platform to build values from. I draw value from my integrity. You could say I draw value from my honor. This is something people have drawn value from for as long as there's been written history.

I honor myself by living consistent with the things I think are worthy of my commitment. Being honest with myself. Trying to be honest with the world around me. My commitment to never lying to myself means I can't be religious. It's a personal thing, and something that wouldn't work for anyone else.

Or, rather, how do I put it?...Someone else could share my value to never lying to themselves, and still somehow be religious. It's not the only reason I'm not religious. But, it's one core reason. I don't rape, I don't steal, I try to never lie (though, let's be honest, everyone lies).

I treat myself with dignity and respect, and require that of others (though, I don't get offended by insults, and am willing, and able to insult back. That's a complicated issue. But, something to be aware of. My values are different from a religious person's. Lets just leave it at that).

I strive never to derive value from arbitrary things. So, I don't derive value from old books or emotions, since both are inherently arbitrary (emotions are good, but require thought to be worth anything. At least, from my perspective), and I'm always willing to admit when I'm wrong. Both to myself, and everyone around me.

These are the things I think make a person honorable, and this is where my value, and values, come from. These values are older than I am by far, and will be around long after I'm dead. So, I think they're a more reasonable foundation than my blind emotions.

My Reply: But, the good and beautiful things in life are often times fleeting things. For example, a colorful rainbow would only be there for a little while before it fades away. So, the beauty in our lives might work the same way. The only way to live a beautiful life might be through positive emotions, which are very fleeting things, just like that rainbow.

Other Person's Response: As for what you said a while back, which was that some spiritual people tell you that you wouldn't loose your identity, I've kinda agonized over sharing this because I'm not entirely sure if it would be considered ok for the personal help section....

But, the problem with what they're telling you are 2 fold. First, in order for you to be happy in heaven, when people you love are suffering, your identity would have to be removed. You'd be a mindless zombie, or you'd have to lose all your memories. I mean, otherwise, how could you be happy, knowing people you love, possibly even your own mother, are being tortured in hell and, yet, you're up in heaven, all happy forever...

I'm not going to embed this video. It's a youtube video that explains exactly the kinda thing I'm talking about. It has bad words 'n stuff in it, and isn't meant for everyone, even though it's safe for youtube. It's a video by a guy named Darkmatter2525, and exactly details the issue described here. I'm going to share it in good faith. I really just don't know any other way to help you see the problems with what they're telling you.

https://youtu.be/5GjCRWeG_AQ

My Reply: I think I would feel horrible if they were burning in hell for eternity, and I might feel that way for a while. But, that feeling would pass on its own, just as how all my other negative emotions passed on their own, such as the ones I've had during my miserable struggles.

Other Person's Response: Life isn't compatible with hedonism, since positive emotions are fleeting.

My Reply: That's what really gets to me, since this life imposes upon my philosophy, with all of its hardships and misfortunes. I really wish life was a blissful utopia.

Other Person's Response: But, having control and dominance over your emotions should give your life a whole new set of values.

My Reply: I'm not sure about that. People, who have control and dominance over their emotions, might be fooled into dismissing their emotions as trivial when, in reality, they're the very source of good, bad, etc.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 3/26)

Other Person's Response: Our mindset alone really does allow us to experience real beauty and joy. Your life's experience and knowledge is just limited is all. Imagine a person, who was born blind, and I explained to him the color blue. He wouldn't be able to comprehend blue, since he's never seen blue. It's an experience he's never had. But, that doesn't mean blue doesn't exist, just because this blind person hasn't experienced it. You're like that blind person, since you've never experienced any positivity through your mindset. But, that doesn't mean such positivity doesn't exist.

My Reply: I can only hope you're right.

Other Person's Response: I don't care what your philosophy says. I can assure you that positive emotions are nothing compared to my intellect. Positive emotions are nothing more than just pleasant feelings.

My Reply: Here's an exercise I'd want other people to perform. This would actually be a great example for people who take psychedelic drugs. If a person took a psychedelic drug, and experienced the most profoundly beautiful bliss of his life, then he might report that it was a profoundly beautiful experience that was out of this world. This would be his emotional-based beauty.

If that same person later struggled with the worst misery of his life, and did something with his life, such as being there for his family, or contributing to the world, despite that horrible misery, then he might report that this was also a profoundly beautiful experience in his life, even though he was unable to feel positive emotions. This would be his intellectual-based beauty.

I'd want that person to actually think twice here. In other words, I'd want him to compare the two mental states. If he pays close attention, then he should come to realize that mental state #2 (his intellectual-based beauty) is literally nothing compared to mental state #1 (the profoundly beautiful bliss he felt from being on that psychedelic drug).

Once he discovers this, then this should reveal that positive emotions are the only perception of beauty, goodness, etc., while our intellect and character alone is not. But, if he still says to me that mental state #2 is a perception of beauty, goodness, etc. in his life, and that it's something far greater than mental state #1, then I have no way of knowing whether he's delusional and in denial, or if he really is telling the truth.

I'm not inside his mind, and I can't experience what he's experiencing to find out. As for me, I've payed attention to my mental states and, for me, my positive emotions are the source of beauty, goodness, and joy, while my mindset alone is not. One last thing here. I don't think that both mental state #1 and mental state #2 are perceptions of beauty, goodness, etc. Only one mental state can, and I think it's mental state #1 (the positive emotions).

Other Person's Response: Sure, you could live the longest, happy life you want to live, if you had the choice. But, you'd never be satisfied. You'd just keep craving more and more happiness (positive emotions).

My Reply: You're right. I'd never be satisfied. But, that lack of satisfaction can't be anything negative in my life. It can only be a positive experience for me if I just felt positive emotions. It would be no different than how a person craves more and more fun and adventure. As long as that person isn't unhappy, or miserable about his/her lack of satisfaction, then it can only be a positive experience for him/her.

Other Person's Response: Are you male or female? Females tend to be emotional, and males tend to be intellectual. If you're male, then I would've expected you to live by intellectual based values.

My Reply: I'm a white male, and I'm quite sure there are many males who live by emotional based values. An example would be the hedonists who wish to have fun, and enjoy their lives.

Other Person's Response: I think our intellect alone can give us positive experiences.

My Reply: Consider any positive experience in your life to be a golden gem that shines very bright. Can your intellect alone give you that gem? No, it can't. That gem is an actual thing, and just thinking of that gem won't give you that gem, and believing you have that gem won't give you that gem either. That gem would be our positive emotions. If you lose that gem, due to any number of factors, whether it be clinical depression or emotional trauma, then you're screwed for the time being until you can regain that gem. It's only once you regain that gem would your life be filled positivity.

Other Person's Response: If you think emotions are the only way to perceive good, bad, etc., then that's your personal experience. Not mine. You don't know my personal experience. So, how can you conclude I'm not perceiving my partner as beautiful, even though I don't feel any particular emotion at the moment?

My Reply: You're right. I don't know your personal experience. This means I'm basing everything off of my own personal experience. But, I do have every reason to think emotions are the only real perceptions of good, bad, etc., and I present these reasons/arguments in my packets.

Other Person's Response: If I didn't feel physical pain at all, then there's no way I'd believe I'm in physical pain. It would be clearly obvious to me that I'm not in physical pain. The same idea applies to hunger and thirst. I could also apply the same argument to beauty.

If I wasn't perceiving beauty in my life, then there's no way I could believe I'm perceiving beauty. Likewise, if nothing mattered to me, then there's no way I'd believe things mattered to me.

So, the very fact people do believe there's more beauty to life than positive emotions must make it true, and the very fact people do believe their thoughts can make things matter to them must make it true.

My Reply: I think people have been taught the wrong definition of perceived beauty, and live by it as though it's the truth. Many people have been taught lies, and believe them. As a matter of fact, you don't even need to be taught, and you can delude yourself into believing lies.

Other Person's Response: When you have a thought, such as a thought of certain forms of beauty, horror, or tragedy, and these thoughts make you feel emotions, the emotions would possess that quality of beauty, horror, or tragedy?

My Reply: Correct. So, if you had the thought of tropical beauty, and that thought made you feel a positive emotion, that emotion would be the experience of tropical beauty. Thus, that positive emotion possesses the quality of tropical beauty. It would almost be like how, if you had the thought of a tropical scent, that thought might trigger the experience of a tropical scent in your brain. In a way, emotions are like smells or tastes then.

That positive emotion you felt would be like a tropical scent, since it was an experience for you that possessed a tropical quality to it. But, it's the experience of beauty, and tastes or smells can't give us the experience of beauty, joy, or love. In summary, there are tropical tastes, tropical smells, tropical sounds, tropical visuals, and tropical emotions. Therefore, emotions are like tastes, smells, sounds, and visuals.

Other Person's Response: Speaking of scents, you could transform any emotion you feel into a certain scent. For example, if you feel joy from being in a field of flowers, then that could be expressed as the smell of flowers. If you feel love, then that could be expressed as a loving scent. I wonder what type of horrible scent would exist if your miserable struggles took on the form of a certain smell.

My Reply: It would have to be a scent worse than the absolute worst scent because, if I were to smell the worst scent, that just wouldn't express how horrible my miserable struggles were. Especially the horrible experiences I've had in my nightmares.

Other Person's Response: In regards to positive thinking, therapists always talk about thinking positive.

My Reply: Yes. When you hear therapists tell you to think positive, and have a positive outlook on life, they mean to think of beautiful, good, or amazing things, rather than thinking of the worst. But, thoughts and beliefs themselves don't give us a positive or negative outlook. Only our emotions do. Therefore, therapists should change the type of advice they give to patients. They should tell patients to feel as much positive emotions as they can, rather than thinking positive during moments they can't feel positive emotions.

So, it's futile to tell people, who struggle with chronic, clinical depression, to think positive, since these thoughts can't make them feel positive emotions. Lastly, there's also another definition of positive and negative, and that would be something like a positive charge, and a negative charge. Given this, I'd give the emotions the former definition, and I'd give the thoughts the latter definition. So, yes, I could describe thoughts and beliefs to be positive and negative. But, it wouldn't be in terms of beauty, horror, etc.

Other Person's Response: So, your views oppose the vast majority of therapists. Many would assume that emotions don't give us a positive or negative outlook, that they're nothing more than how we feel, and that it's our thoughts and beliefs that give us a positive or negative outlook. But, you're saying it's the other way around. From there, you describe a positive outlook to be a divine mental state and, thus, you describe positive emotions as being divine states.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I see. Now I understand why you think genius artists, who struggled with misery and depression, had nothing positive in their lives, since they couldn't have a real positive outlook in regards to their lives, artwork, and endeavors. They claim they had a positive outlook. But, you're saying it's not a real positive outlook. You define a positive outlook differently than most people.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, I understand how metaphors aren't the real things. Metaphorically describing myself as water wouldn't make me the actual chemical compound H20. Also, if I was dehydrated, and needed to drink water to save my life, then a metaphorical version of water wouldn't save my life.

My Reply: Yes. If people wish to experience real love, joy, happiness, or beauty in their lives, then it must be the real experience (positive emotions), and not just metaphors.

Other Person's Response: Many people would say it's the thought that counts. But, your philosophy says the opposite.

My Reply: Yes. It's not the thought that counts. It's the emotion that counts.

Other Person's Response: I heard you give up composing during your miserable struggles.

My Reply: Yes. This is because I have all these subconscious, negative thoughts during said moments that make me feel negative emotions, such as misery, hate, rage, the desire to give up, etc. But, once I'm fully recovered from these miserable moments, and have my positive emotions back to me, I could experience the most difficult learning curve when learning music theory, I could make many mistakes, and fail many times. But, I'd still be positive and optimistic the whole way through, since there are positive thoughts making me feel positive emotions now. All those previous negative thoughts, and emotions, would be gone. So, I'd actually enjoy the whole learning process.

Other Person's Response: When your mother dies, you could still care about her by feeling a positive emotion. You could feel that she was a beautiful mother who lived the best she could, despite her poverty.

My Reply: Exactly. This is the better alternative than being in a miserable state of hell.

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers are always talking about releasing inner negativity, and having the inner positivity in our lives. So, I think you're onto something when you say life's better off without negative emotions. Spiritual believers talk about how people don't need to grieve when their loved ones die, since that's nothing but a negative experience. There are also mediums who help miserable souls cross over into the light. So, negative emotions, such as misery, despair, and hate, only keep us in the dark. The goal should be to reside in the light.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: You're saying that not feeling miserable over your mother's loss keeps your soul in the realm of the light, and closer to god?

My Reply: Yes. When I have negative thoughts and worries, causing me to feel miserable, that puts me in the dark. Thus, I'm cast out from the realm of beauty, love, and joy. That puts me in a place away from god's holy light.

Other Person's Response: If you miss someone (such as a loved one), would that be an emotion?

My Reply: Yes. That experience of missing someone would have to be an emotion. It could be a negative emotion (such as a feeling of sadness), or it could be a positive emotion if you felt happy about the idea of that loved one coming back, even though he/she is gone.

Other Person's Response: Couldn't holidays be something magical and beautiful, even without positive emotions?

My Reply: No. When a person says he's experiencing the magic and wonder of Christmas, that experience would be a positive emotion he's feeling. That's why, without positive emotions, holidays are stripped of their magical beauty.

Other Person's Response: I'm quite sure you will grow out of this philosophy as you get older. I'm not the same person as I was when I was a child. I no longer play with toys.

My Reply: I think I might have this philosophy my whole entire life. Even if I lived for millions of years, I don't think it would ever change. I'm quite sure you've heard the saying:

"Not in a million years!"

For example, if Jake detested Jon, and James came along, and asked Jake if he'd ever love Jon, then Jake would reply with that quoted saying.

Other Person's Response: You talk so much mindless, dumb shit in your packets! It's all drivel!

My Reply: I put much thought into writing this though. If it really is drivel, then I'm just no good with philosophy and logic. I can only articulate my personal experience and philosophical arguments the best I can.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you only had some level of positive emotions in your life. It's not much, and you'd have them on seldom occasions. Would you be fine living like that?

My Reply: I wouldn't. I need the sufficient amount of positive emotions in my life. Having the full amount of positive emotions would be much better though.

Other Person's Response: I don't believe you've never had an experience, besides your positive emotions, that's given your life beauty, worth, and joy.

My Reply: I've never had such an experience, and I think it would be like someone who's been an atheist his whole life. He's never had an experience that's convinced him god exists.

Other Person's Response: Even geniuses, such as Einstein, and famous artists, have said their lives were beautiful and worth living without their positive emotions. Why isn't that enough to inspire you, and convince you?

My Reply: Well, even geniuses can be wrong sometimes. I'm not saying I'm more of a genius. It's just that even the most simple things can be overlooked by brilliant minds. One might say positive emotions being the only source of beauty is too simple-minded. But, perhaps it's the truth, and people overlook it and deny it. I'm also very cynical of humanity. After all, there are many deluded people out there. Yes, even geniuses can be delusional sometimes.

Some people might say I'm delusional. But, we can argue about this back and forth all day long, and it will get nowhere. It's no different than a Christian, arguing with an atheist, or someone who's pro-vaccine, arguing against someone who's anti-vaccine. That being the case, why am I arguing in this packet, and sharing it? Well, it's because I wish to express my personal views, and share them to my family, therapists, etc. to give them insight about me.

Other Person's Response: If you're feeling negative emotions, such as misery, does your life really have to be horrible like this? Can't there be a shade of gray?

My Reply: There'd have to be some positive, mixed in with the negative, for there to be a shade of gray. That means some positive emotion would have to be mixed in my misery. Otherwise, if there's no positive emotion there at all, then it's all black, and no gray. It was all black for me during my miserable moments, since recovering was the only way to experience beauty and joy again.

As I drew closer to a state of fully recovery, that's when shades of gray started to come into my life, and, finally, it was all white for me from then on. When I'm fully recovered, it's all white for me because I'm always happy, having fun, and enjoying my life. Negative emotions would then be very difficult to trigger. Also, the only thing that would trigger a horrible, miserable state would be something, like an emotional trauma (which I've had in the past).

Other Person's Response: I see you have no evidence to support your claim that positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful.

My Reply: I have no knowledge when it comes to life or any given subject. Therefore, even if there were evidence out there to support my claim, I wouldn't know how to go about finding that evidence. This means I'll leave it up to others to search for the evidence if they want to. But, haven't I already proven my claim with all the arguments I've made? In which case, I wouldn't need any scientific evidence. Also, I don't think other people have any real evidence to support their claim that intellectual based values are real. Again, just because people act as though they are real values doesn't make it so, since plenty of people live in denial.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, our intellect just allows us to control our emotions and make wise decisions that wouldn't be harmful to ourselves and others. But, it can only be our emotions that allow us to perceive decisions as good, bad, etc.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your miserable struggles, if god wanted you to continue suffering in misery, then you wouldn't have the ability to recover from it. God would've made sure your recovery ability was disabled, so that you'd remain trapped in misery your entire life.

My Reply: But, at the same time, it seems he didn't want me to be a completely happy, misery-free individual, since he didn't disable my ability to feel miserable.

Other Person's Response: Our emotions motivate us, which means they make things matter to us?

My Reply: Yes. When you're motivated in regards to something, that's the same thing as saying this thing matters to you.

Other Person's Response: Many people would say something, such as: "Even though I have a depressive illness that renders me with a complete absence of positive emotions, I did all that work anyway, and I'm proud of my efforts." This, too, is the wrong definition of pride, since a person can't be proud unless he feels proud (a positive emotion)?

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy says that positive emotions are perceptions of beauty and goodness, and that such a perception is divine and holy.

My Reply: Yes. Positive emotions are, therefore, like the eyes of an angel, since they allow us to see goodness, beauty, and worth in things. Without these eyes, then we've become blinded to all goodness, beauty, worth, magnificence, etc. In other words, we've become blinded to all positivity. Negative emotions, on the other hand, are like the eyes of a demon, or being of darkness, since they allow us to see negativity.

They allow us to see people, and things, as horrible, bad, disgusting, tragic, horrific, etc. The idea is to have a positive perspective, and not a negative one. So, we should avoid those dark eyes. When we're apathetic (emotionless), we just have our ordinary, human eyes, and we don't have the eyes of an angel, or being of darkness. So, we should avoid apathy as well.

Other Person's Response: You said you had an emotional crisis a while back, and I'm just wondering how you're doing.

My Reply: It's taking an extremely long time for me to fully recover from this emotional crisis, and my positive emotions haven't returned back to me this whole time. If I were to pursue my composing dream anyway, and not give up on it, that won't do anything to restore my positive emotions. So, what I have to do here is just give up composing for now, and instead turn my sights over to certain therapeutic methods that have been known to help people who've had tribulation in their lives.

These methods should help restore my positive emotions, which means they should help me reach that state of full recovery I need to be in. Even though I'd be doing something to help myself in the absence of my positive emotions, it's still no way to live without positive emotions, regardless of what I do for myself, or for others. Still, I'm getting that help anyway, and getting this help should allow me to enjoy my life and hobbies again. I absolutely refuse, and can't stand living my life, and doing my hobbies without my positive emotions. That's why I'm instead researching certain methods that have been known to help speed up the recovery process.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, all those depressed, genius artists, who believed their lives were rich in beauty and greatness, were believing a lie. It would be no different than a poor person believing he's rich when he's not. In order to be rich in beauty and greatness, then a person needs to be rich in positive emotions

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You talk about how emotions are value judgments. But, what about intellectual value judgments (value judgments based upon thinking that certain things are good, bad, etc.)?

My Reply: There are the intellectual value judgments, and then there are the emotional value judgments. But, only one set exists, and I think emotions are the only value judgments. However, if it's the case that intellectual value judgments also exist, and that I haven’t obtained them yet, then if I were to be in the worst, miserable state of my life, that would make my life very horrible. But, at the same time, if I were to truly believe that my life is still beautiful intellectually, that would also make my life beautiful, since I'd be perceiving beauty through my intellect.

But, my life would be half horrible and half beautiful, which would only be giving me half beauty. Actually, it all comes down to the profoundness and intensity of the intellectual and emotional value judgments. For example, if I was in a very horrible, miserable state, then that would bring my life something like 80% horribleness. But, if I had the slight thought in my mind that my life is still beautiful, then that would only give me 20% beauty, since that thought was weak, and not as profound and intense as that miserable state.

Other Person's Response: I think your philosophy is false.

My Reply: If people keep telling me I'm wrong, and that emotions aren't perceptions of value, then I'll keep telling them I have much more insight into my own personal experience than they have into theirs, and that they're wrong. Since humanity is wrong about their emotions not being value judgments, how do you expect me to trust humanity when they claim their intellectual value judgments are real value judgments? Given that humanity is in denial of their own emotions, they could also be in denial when it comes to their intellect.

Other Person's Response: I think your philosophy is called "hedonism," and I disagree with hedonism.

My Reply: Hedonism is a very popular philosophy, which states that having fun and enjoying our lives, through our positive emotions, is the only good and beautiful way to live. Given all the arguments I've come up with to support this whole idea that positive emotions are the only good things in life, the hedonists could really be on to something then. So, hedonism might've been the correct worldview all along. Here is a link to hedonism:

http://www.philosophybasics.com/branch_hedonism.html

Other Person's Response: To say that we have only one fleeting thing (our positive emotions) to make our lives good and beautiful is ridiculous.

My Reply: I agree that might sound absurd, false, and ridiculous. But, plenty of things that sound absurd are, in fact, true things. So, just because my worldview sounds cruel and unfair for those who struggle with depression, as well as other mental illnesses that take away their positive emotions, and just because my worldview sounds absurd and false, doesn't make it false. You see, I'm all about the truth here, regardless of how offensive said truth might be.

I'm not about sugar coating things and telling depressed people their lives can still be beautiful without their positive emotions, just because this is something they'd like to hear. I think I've arrived at the unpleasant truth through my own personal experience, and I'm going to share and express that truth. I'm tired of my own emotions being dismissed as trivial things, and I'll speak up for myself and explain to others that they really are value judgments that give our lives value.

Other Person's Response: When you say emotions are necessary to make something beautiful or disgusting to someone, I think you're saying it wrong. You should be saying that emotions are necessary to make something beautiful or disgusting for someone.

My Reply: I'm not sure. When I say "to someone," I mean "from that person's perspective." So, when I say something is beautiful to someone, I mean something is beautiful in the eyes of that individual (i.e. from that individual's perspective).

Other Person's Response: The fact you need positive emotions to see goodness, beauty, and worth in things is very selfish. You should be able to do things, such as helping others, with no need for your positive emotions.

My Reply: A person needs sight to see and hearing to hear. That doesn't make him selfish. The same idea applies to positive emotions. Positive emotions are how we see goodness, beauty, and worth in things. If they were to be taken away, then it would be like we've become blind. Becoming visually blind would render one not being able to see things. But, losing positive emotions would render one not being able to see anything positive in life.

Other Person's Response: I think that anime metaphor you gave is idiotic and ridiculous.

My Reply: People use metaphors all the time to describe themselves, certain experiences they have, certain things in life, etc. So, my metaphor should be of no surprise to you.

Other Person's Response: Well, when the characters in Dragon Ball Super become Super Saiyan Gods, they have enhanced speed, strength, and motivation. That would actually be like emotions, since emotions give us motivation, and they do enhance our speed and strength. For example, when a person feels very motivated, he might run faster, and have more strength than he normally would. So, I think your Super Saiyan God metaphor works well.

My Reply: Thank you. If negative emotions motivated us, that would be like becoming a Super Saiyan Dark, which is the opposite of a Super Saiyan God. I could also use a Sonic the Hedgehog metaphor. There's Super Sonic (Sonic in his divine, golden form) and Dark Sonic (Sonic in his black form). Feeling positive emotions would be like becoming Super Sonic, and feeling negative emotions would be like becoming Dark Sonic. If we had no emotions, that would be like becoming a dull, gray version of Sonic. Sonic, when he's in his base form, isn't a dull, gray hedgehog. He's a blue hedgehog. But, a dull, gray version of Sonic would accurately depict a life without emotions.

Other Person's Response: What about a feeling of peace? That's a positive emotion. Would that classify as Super Sonic, or a Super Saiyan God?

My Reply: Yes. It would just be a peaceful version of Super Sonic and a Super Saiyan God, as opposed to a hyped up version. Imagine a Buddhist in a peaceful, transcended, divine state, as opposed to Super Sonic in an intensely powered up divine state.

Other Person's Response: Seeing beauty in something is the same thing as valuing that thing as beautiful, which means positive emotions are how we value things as beautiful, since they're what allow us to see beauty in things.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: When a person has much negative thinking, spiritual believers say this person is at a lower, spiritual vibration, and needs to rise to a higher vibration by changing his negative mindset to a positive one. Rising to a higher vibration brings us closer to god, the divine, and holiness.

My Reply: Well, we should change over from a negative mindset to a positive one, so we can feel positive emotions, since it's the positive emotions which are holy and divine.

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers would say that positive thinking is our divine self, negative thinking is our unholy self, and apathetic thinking is neither our divine self, nor our unholy self. But, you're saying it's our positive emotions which are the divine self?

My Reply: Yes. We need to rise above negativity, and that's why we need to be the divine self. So, we should avoid feeling negative emotions. That means we should try our best to not be devastated when we lose a loved one, feeling rage at the unfairness of life, etc. That means changing our thinking, so we can prevent feeling those negative emotions.

Other Person's Response: A life of negativity is an inferior existence compared to a life of positivity. So, our goal should be to live a life of positivity.

My Reply: Yes. Negativity is inferior to both neutrality and positivity, neutrality is superior to negativity, but inferior to positivity, and positivity is superior to both neutrality and negativity.

Other Person's Response: Yes, I do think emotions are what give us positive and negative perspectives. But, it doesn't matter if a person has a positive, negative, or apathetic perspective. What matters is his obligations, responsibilities, etc. to the world. If you learn to have more power and control over your emotions, then you should no longer give into your emotions. Thus, you should be able to live life as it is, without giving into the desire of having a positive perspective. You really don't need a positive perspective, which means you don't need to see beauty, goodness, worth, etc. in anything.

My Reply: I could have all the power and control in the world over my emotions. But, it would still be no way to live or be an artist without positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: All throughout this packet, you have an ongoing debate with people who hold different views than you. I think that makes you a bigot (someone who's intolerant of the views of others).

My Reply: People lack understanding and make many false assumptions about me. For example, when I blame god for him allowing all the misery I've been through, some people instead say it's my fault, and that god isn't to be put to blame. I don't think that's the case, and I explain why throughout this packet. Another example would be that people would call me childishly selfish, cowardly, and weak, given the philosophy I live by. Well, I have every reason to think a life without positive emotions is no way to live or be an artist, and I'm presenting all those reasons.

That way, people can gain an understanding, and, hopefully, stop making these assumptions about me. A third example would be some people would think that, if I'm not convinced of certain claims of self-healing, such as that we can heal our suffering through the power of our minds, that this means I'm happy to suffer, and prefer to suffer. That's false. I'd love to rid of my suffering, and there are no factors preventing me from wanting my suffering gone, such as an attachment to suffering. Some people are attached to suffering, since they like to suffer. But, I'm not one of those people.

Other Person's Response: Not only that, but you wish to share all your views. That way, people can gain full insight.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I heard god offers up solutions for those who have illnesses, and it's up to these individuals if they're willing to commit themselves to the healing of their illnesses.

My Reply: Well, some people are unaware of these solutions, since they live in a poor, ignorant part of the world, and they can't discover or commit themselves to these solutions, since they don't have the money and resources.

Other Person's Response: In regards to god, many people blame him for allowing so much suffering. But, these people are just complaining like children.

My Reply: I don't think so. I think such complaints are justified. Imagine if a customer was getting a horrible service. Would that customer be childish for complaining about the service? No. His complaints would be justified. I think all human beings are like customers, and this Earthly existence is the service. God is clearly giving us a horrible service, since there's so much ongoing misery, unhappiness, and suffering. If life was a blissful, utopia world for us all, where all suffering was cured, that would be a wonderful service.

I think many people would rate such a life 5/5 stars, and such a rating would clearly indicate how wonderful such a life is. If there was a service, many people rated it, and it had an average rating of 5/5 stars, such a rating would clearly indicate how wonderful the service is. The same idea applies to products on Amazon that have an excellent rating. As life currently stands though, I bet, if all human beings were to rate this life, it would be given a very low, average rating, and such a rating would clearly indicate how awful of a life god has given us.

Other Person's Response: Life's a wonderful service for some people (such as those who are rich, happy, and very fortunate), while life is an awful service for others (such as those who are poor, miserable, and very unfortunate).

My Reply: Yes, and life should be a wonderful service for everyone. That means everyone should live a blissful life, where they always have their positive emotions intact.

Other Person's Response: I realize that people, who go on heavenly trips to the afterlife during their near death experience, report they've met god, and said he was truly an all-loving being.

My Reply: What if god is just pretending to be an all-loving being? I just don't think an all-loving being would allow all this suffering. Especially all the miserable struggles I've been through.

Other Person's Response: In regards to god, some people would argue he's an all-loving being, while others would argue he's not all-loving, since he allows so much suffering. So, if he does exist, then perhaps we don't know if he's all-loving or not, and people just think they know.

My Reply: I'm not sure.

Other Person's Response: Not only do you talk about god, but you talk about these heavenly beings. Would they be angels?

My Reply: I think so.

Other Person's Response: In regards to the heavenly and hellish trips that people go on during their near death experience, there are those who have heavenly trips, meet god, and god tells them he's not the judgmental type of god who condemns sinners to hell, as portrayed by fundamentalist Christianity. He says that such dogma is false, and to tell the world that he's a loving god who won't condemn people to hell. But, then there are people who have Christian-themed near death experiences, they meet god, and god tells them that the world is filled with sinners who need to change their ways, lest they be condemned to eternity in hell. God tells them to warn the world. So, I see a contradiction here.

My Reply: Yes. Given this contradiction, many people would say these trips are nothing more than hallucinations. Otherwise, there would be consistency.

Other Person's Response: I don't think you need positive emotions to see goodness and beauty in things. So, in your mind, imagine yourself detaching from your positive emotions, and taking a route around them to allow yourself to see goodness and beauty in things with no need for them.

My Reply: I tried that, and there's absolutely no way around this. My positive emotions are the only way I can see goodness, beauty, magnificence, etc. in things.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, if a person had no emotions, he could still see meaning in artwork, such as a moment, message, or scene being conveyed by said artwork. He could even listen to a song and still see meaning in the song, such as listening to a certain melody in the song, and it conveying a nature scene to him. But, he wouldn't be able to see any beauty, goodness, magnificence, tragedy, or horror in said artwork or song.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: Even though negative emotions do make our lives worth living, and do make things worth doing, but in a negative way, do you still say, throughout your packets, that positive emotions are the only things that make our lives worth living, and things worth doing?

My Reply: Yes. I forgot to add "worth living for in a positive way" when I say positive emotions are the only things that make life worth living, and things worth doing. So, don't get all worked up about that.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy is nothing more than a hindrance to your growth as an individual, and keeps you stuck where you are.

My Reply: Until I develop a better philosophy (if I ever do), this is the way it's going to be for now.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, if I wanted a nostalgic experience from playing the video games I used to play when I was a child, I'd need to have a nostalgic feeling?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, a spoiled child, who feels the desire to get everything he wants in life, would be experiencing a holy, divine desire, since his desire was a positive feeling.

My Reply: Yes. Like I said, positive emotions are holy and divine, no matter what.

Other Person's Response: If a guy felt that he was a beautiful, female character, you're saying that's the same thing as him seeing himself as a beautiful, female character?

My Reply: Yes. He wouldn't literally be hallucinating, and visually seeing himself as a female character. He'd just be experiencing himself as a new character, and it would be a beautiful experience for him, since he feels like he's a beautiful character.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your emotional crisis, when you become a being of darkness, due to an emotional crisis, I realize just how much you wish that dark being was destroyed. But, don't destroy that being by ending your life. Instead, destroy him by finding ways to help yourself return back to a being of light.

My Reply: I agree. I should find ways to help restore myself back to my happy, loving self again, rather than just ending my life.

Other Person's Response: If there are non-emotional positive and negative experiences, then they can be mixed in with the emotional ones.

My Reply: Yes. But, I don't think the non-emotional ones exist.

Other Person's Response: You say thoughts and beliefs can't be any real perception of value and worth, just as how thoughts and beliefs can't be real hunger, thirst, or emotions. I could also add in feeling sleepy because, if a person isn't feeling sleepy, then the thought or belief that he's sleepy won't make him sleepy.

My Reply: That's correct. If a thought or belief was enough to make a person sleepy, then people wouldn't need medication to help them sleep. People with insomnia wouldn't need sleep medication.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 4/26)

Other Person's Response: Strange and bizarre are also value judgments, aren't they?

My Reply: Yes. Something can be strange and bizarre in a beautiful way (positive emotion), or a horrific way (negative emotion).

Other Person's Response: If a person was ugly in terms of his physical appearance, but very kind on the inside, and someone else couldn't help but feel disgust about him, are you saying that person couldn't help but see him as a disgusting person?

My Reply: Yes. Feeling disgust (a negative emotion) is how you see something, or someone, as disgusting.

Other Person's Response: If a person was born blind, and gained his sight for the first time, you're saying that moment could be nothing beautiful or awesome to him without his positive emotions?

My Reply: That's correct. He'd need the eyes of an angel to see his world as beautiful, awesome, or amazing. Just seeing the world through his human eyes won't do.

Other Person's Response: Given the philosophy you live by, you must be very childish.

My Reply: I behave very maturely, since I don't act out in public, or do other such inappropriate things. But, people would say, despite my mature, polite behavior, the philosophy I live by is childish.

Other Person's Response: I heard you feel a lot of negative emotions during an emotional crisis. Do you wish to fully recover from an emotional crisis, not only so you can regain your happiness, but so you can no longer feel enraged at the unfairness of living a miserable, unhappy existence?

My Reply: Yes. Also, there are people who say I don't need a positive perspective in life, and that I don't need to recover from an emotional crisis. That makes me feel much rage as well, since these people clearly don't understand. But, when I'm fully recovered from an emotional crisis, I no longer feel any rage.

Other Person's Response: Even if your philosophy was true, and everyone believed it, a mother would still think it's horrible for her child to do harmful things that would bring him great joy. That's just human nature. So, she'd still feel horrible about that.

My Reply: Yes. Even though positive emotions are the only good things in life, police would still feel that the acts of psychopaths are horrible, even though the psychopaths are feeling good from said acts. So, that means the police would still be motivated to arrest these psychopaths. If the police couldn't feel motivated to arrest them, then it just wouldn't matter to them. But, they can still arrest these psychopaths anyway.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy is very dumb, and I can explain to you reasons why I think so. If positive emotions were the only good things in life, then we might as well say it's nothing bad to make decisions that would be harmful if we felt good about making these decisions.

My Reply: No amount of reasoning can change my philosophy one bit, and I don't care how dumb my philosophy sounds. The only thing that will change my philosophy is a new personal experience. Now, I'm going to give an analogy here, and I'm not sure if it's a poor analogy or not. But, I think it gets my point across.

When making this analogy, I'm not implying that I, myself, have hate and lack of forgiveness that's preventing me from loving and forgiving. I've never had that problem anyway. This is just an analogy that shows how I'd need a new personal experience to change my philosophy. So, here's the analogy.

Let's pretend Jake has had a personal experience that results in him hating someone else (Jon). No amount of reasoning can change Jake’s hateful perspective to a loving one. If you try to reason with Jake, and give him reasons why Jon is still deserving of Jake’s love, then Jake might respond:

"I'll never forgive Jon, and I don't think he's deserving of my love." But, if Jake has a new personal experience that results in him becoming a more loving, forgiving person, then that would change his views. Thus, he'll start to love Jon, and forgive him.

So, I'd also need a new personal experience that would change my views. Only then would I realize there's more positivity to life than positive emotions. Remember, I must have a new personal experience that allows me to love, experience happiness and joy, and see goodness, beauty, worth, etc. independently of my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Actually, during an emotional crisis, you do feel hate, and you lack forgiveness.

My Reply: Yes. Normally, I'm happy, enjoying my life, not a hateful person, and I forgive easily.

Other Person's Response: Positive and negative experiences, such as experiencing nature as beautiful and amazing, or experiencing the loss of someone as horrible and tragic, are completely natural. But, your philosophy treats them as holy and unholy things.

My Reply: Yes. Positive and negative experiences are more than just natural responses to life's events and situations. The example I gave earlier was with love. Many people say love is more than just a natural response. They say it's holy and divine. That's what you'll hear from spiritual believers. So, the same idea applies to all other positive experiences, such as experiencing nature as beautiful and amazing, experiencing profound joy from going on an adventure, etc. Those positive experiences are holy and divine as well. The same idea applies to negative experiences being unholy.

Other Person's Response: Actually, spiritual believers would say that certain types of love are holy and divine, such as love for god, and love for human beings. But, they'd say the love for a psychopath, since he harms living things, would be an unholy form of love. So, certain types of positive emotions can be holy, while other ones can be unholy.

My Reply: Again, I don't see it that way. A fruit is classified as a fruit because of its qualities, such as its appearance, taste, texture, etc. The same idea applies to vegetables. So, any given positive emotion will always be classified as holy, simply because of its positive, experiential quality (such as it being a beautiful, joyful, or loving experience), and any negative emotion will always be classified as unholy, simply because of its negative, experiential quality (such as it being a horrific, tragic, or disturbing experience).

Other Person's Response: Even though physical pain would be nothing good or bad without emotions, wouldn't you still think it's cruel and unjust for innocent people, and living things, to undergo physical torture?

My Reply: Yes. Even if these innocent people and living things felt no negative emotions, I'd still think that. But, if they enjoyed it, then that's their business.

Other Person's Response: I heard you really don't care about humanity, or the suffering they go through. So, even though you'd have the thought in your mind that it's cruel for innocent people to be inflicted with physical pain, that thought wouldn't devastate you, or make you miserable?

My Reply: Correct. I wouldn't want to feel devastated or miserable anyway, since that would be a negative experience for me, and my goal is to have as much positive experiences as I can.

Other Person's Response: I heard you had many devastating worries and thoughts in your life. Do you wish you could've had a positive outlook the whole time?

My Reply: Yes. That's why I wish I was never devastated and miserable in the first place, and was instead happy that whole time. I wish I was one of those people who aren't worried, and are happy. Fortunately, I think all those horrible moments have passed, and I'll soon be happy from now on. I don't think I'll ever have another emotional crisis.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, positive emotions allow us to see goodness and beauty in things, which means they make things good and beautiful in our eyes. But, does that really mean positive emotions are the only good and beautiful things in life?

My Reply: Actually, I'm not sure. But, I did say it's no way to live or be an artist without positive emotions. So, wouldn't that imply they're the only good and beautiful things in life? If so, then I'm sticking to my view that positive emotions are the only good and beautiful things in life, regardless of how immoral and offensive it may sound to others.

Other Person's Response: According to you, we need positive emotions everywhere we go, and everything we do.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: The worse of a thought a person has, the worse of an emotional experience he's going to get, once said thought makes him feel a negative emotion? Likewise, the more positive of a thought a person has, then the more positive of an emotional experience he's going to get, once said thought makes him feel a positive emotion?

My Reply: Yes. That's why the misery experienced from losing a loved one is much worse than the misery experienced from not being able to see your favorite movie. Actually, it all depends. If, for whatever reason, a person had the thought that it would be very devastating and tragic if he didn't get to see his favorite movie, then he'd be devastated if he doesn't see it, and that experience would be worse for him than losing his loved one, if he had the thought that losing his loved one wasn't that bad at all.

Other Person's Response: During your emotional crisis, did you feel panic and anxiety from this devastating worry?

My Reply: Not at all. I just felt other negative emotions, such as misery, agony, disgust, rage, tragedy, etc.

Other Person's Response: People who have a devastating moment in their lives, such as the loss of a loved one, are known to be chronically stuck in a horribly tragic, miserable state, where they feel all sorts of other negative emotions as well. That can go on for a few years. But, one day, that devastated person will enter back into the light again, where he'll have his joy back to him. That person will very slowly, and gradually, transition from an unhealthy, negative state of mind, to a healthy, positive state of mind.

My Reply: Yes, and it's that positive state we need to be in. How many times have you heard people say something like: "I know you're in a very horrible, negative state of mind right now. But, just do something with your life, make something of that horrible state, and that would be a beautiful, worthwhile, meaningful existence you would've lived!" Well, that would be no way to live or be an artist.

Other Person's Response: Since the positive state of mind is the holy realm of the light, then that must mean the negative state of mind is the unholy realm of darkness.

My Reply: Yes. But, apathy would just be The Void (an empty realm of neither light nor darkness). The Void is the intermediate realm.

Other Person's Response: Would you go to the carnival, or go on a wild adventure, when you're in that horrible, miserable state of mind?

My Reply: No. Those are things I'd need to enjoy. But, the type of things I'd do while in that horrible state would be basic things, such as brushing my teeth, taking a shower, writing packets to share to others, etc. These are the "low key things" I'd do while in that miserable state. But, big things, such as going on a trip to Disney World, going on a wild adventure, or pursuing my goals and dreams, are things I need to enjoy, which is why I'd give up on them when I can't enjoy them. Even playing video games is something I need to enjoy, and is the other hobby I live for.

Other Person's Response: Giving up like that when you're miserable shows a sign of character weakness. That's why you shouldn't give up.

My Reply: Having all the character strength in the world doesn't matter if it's no way to live or be an artist. Even if, let's pretend, I was the most powerful, brave warrior on this planet who persevered in the face of miserable hardships, I'd still have every reason to give up on my goals and dreams when I'm in that miserable state. As long as I can't enjoy my hobbies, and even my own character strength, I'd give up.

Other Person's Response: There are negative emotions that motivate someone to give up, and there are negative emotions that motivate someone to persevere. Since you've been giving up on your composing during your emotional crisis, I take it you haven't been feeling negative emotions that motivated you to persevere in your composing. If you felt misery, or any other negative emotions, that motivated you to create compositions, then I bet you wouldn't have given up on your composing.

My Reply: That's correct. I haven't ever felt any negative emotion that motivated me to persevere in my composing. Neither could I make myself feel such a negative emotion. So, during my emotional crisis, there was neither a positive emotion, nor a negative emotion, that motivated me to persevere in my composing.

Other Person's Response: I think you just needed some negative emotion to motivate you to persevere in your composing. It's such a shame you didn't feel such emotion!

My Reply: Even if I did feel such negative emotions, and persevered in my composing through their motivational power, it would still be no way to live or be an artist.

Other Person's Response: When you don't have an emotional crisis, you say you don't feel negative emotions. Now, let's pretend you had brain damage, or developed a mental illness, that took away your ability to feel positive emotions. The only means of motivation you'd have left would be negative emotions. But, those negative emotions would be gone, since you're no longer in the midst of an emotional crisis. So, that means you'd be rendered in an apathetic state, since you can't feel positive emotions, nor negative emotions.

My Reply: Correct. Also, when I'm fully recovered from an emotional crisis, I wouldn't be able to feel negative emotions, even if I tried my hardest. I wouldn't want to feel those negative emotions anyway, since they're negative experiences. So, I think it's a good thing they're gone. Like I said, it's better to be apathetic than to be in a state of misery, disgust, hate, etc. When I'm fully recovered from an emotional crisis, those negative emotions I've felt during the crisis never return to haunt me in nightmares, or in my daily life. So, once the crisis is over, it's officially over. If I had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), then perhaps those negative emotions would keep coming back from time to time. But, I don't have PTSD.

Other Person's Response: Some people might think you're an immoral psychopath, given the philosophy you live by. But, I think these people are mistaken. You're a very kind, polite person, and you conduct yourself in a moral fashion.

My Reply: Yes. My own happiness is just what makes my life good and beautiful, since that's my personal experience. It has nothing to do with me being some sort of criminal or psychopath.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, if a person had manic disorder, where he only felt euphoric highs, and his disorder didn't cause him to feel any negative emotions, then he lived a wonderful life.

My Reply: Yes. If he had euphoric, positive thoughts that caused him to feel euphoric, then he'd be having some amazing, positive experiences. As for the people who have to take care of him, they'd be living a horrible life if they felt horrible.

Other Person's Response: Is the only way to become more of a person (a better person) is through positive emotions?

My Reply: Yes. Better means more positive, and to become more of a positive person requires you to feel positive emotions that are more profound and intense. So, when a person feels the most profound, intense, positive emotions from going on a powerful drug trip, he'd become the best person he could be. During his powerful drug trip, it's like he has a powerful, intense, divine life force surging through him that transforms him into something much greater than what he could ever amount to not taking a drug.

It's always been assumed that the more profound, intense, positive thoughts you have (such as loving thoughts, for example), the better of a person you become. Well, actually, it's only once those thoughts make you feel profound, intense, positive emotions that you become a better person. Otherwise, without any emotions, you're just an empty vessel who amounts to nothing, regardless of what you do, how you live your life, or how you think. So, not only do our lives amount to nothing without emotions, but we as human beings amount to nothing.

Other Person's Response: So, not only is it no way to live or be an artist without positive emotions, but it's no way to be a human being?

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: Actually, it's always been assumed that you become a better person through your deeds. For example, if you lived your life, helping others, and contributing to the world, as opposed to just playing video games your whole life, then people would define that as becoming a better person. Actually, it's a combination of having profound, intense, positive thoughts, helping others, and contributing to the world that makes you the best person you can be.

My Reply: Again, I disagree with this definition. It's not about how we think, what we do in life, and how we behave that determines if we're better people or not. It's about what we experience, and positive emotions are the experiences that make us better people.

Other Person's Response: If that person's drug trip ended, and he reverted back to feeling positive emotions that are at an average level of profoundness and intensity, would that make him less of a person now?

My Reply: Yes. He'd be less of a person compared to his blissful self. So, not only do our lives become better the more profound and intense positive emotions we feel, but we become better people. That means going on the most amazingly blissful drug trips would be how we live the best lives, and how we become the best people.

Other Person's Response: Would a psychopath be a better person if he felt profound joy from torturing living things, and would he be a better person than someone who's miserable, but contributed to humanity?

My Reply: Yes. The psychopath has that holy, divine, life force flowing through him (his positive emotions), and that's what makes him the better person. Not only that, but his life would be than that miserable person's life, since he was happy, while that other person was miserable.

Other Person's Response: Would you ever harm living things, or people, to get pleasure?

My Reply: No. I'm not that type of person. I conduct myself in a moral fashion, and many people love me as an individual, since they think I'm very kind and polite.

Other Person's Response: In order to become a worse person, you must feel negative emotions?

My Reply: Yes, since worse means more negative. In order to become the worst possible person, you'd have to feel negative emotions that are the most profound and intense.

Other Person's Response: When we become divine beings of light through our positive emotions, that makes us better than beings of darkness or apathetic beings, even if we derived joy from torturing others?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: In order to be a moral person, you'd have to feel that certain things are right or wrong?

My Reply: Yes, and those feelings would be emotions.

Other Person's Response: Since our emotions give power to things, does that also mean they make us horrible, disgusting, or beautiful people?

My Reply: Yes. When you feel beautiful about yourself, you perceive yourself as beautiful, and that imbues you with beautiful power in your own mind. Thus, you become a beautiful person. You'd still be that beautiful person, regardless if you harmed innocent people or living things. One might disagree with this. But, I'm going to give you an example. If a person was literally a being of light, who had light surrounding him, then that person would still be a being of light, even if he harmed innocent people or living things.

If he somehow lost that light, and became an ordinary person, then him helping others and changing the world for the better could not make him a being of light again. He needs to have that glow around him, so he becomes that being of light again. So, he'd have to charge himself up again by whatever method he used in the first place to become that being of light.

My point is, positive emotions are like that charge, or life force of beauty, that transforms us into beautiful beings. When we lose our positive emotions, we can't become beautiful people by helping others, or contributing to the world. So, it's our emotional state that solely determines whether we become beautiful, horrible, or disgusting beings. When we have no emotions (apathy), we become nothing more than empty vessels.

Other Person's Response: How does your charge analogy work for objects, moments, works of art, and situations?

My Reply: Well, our positive emotions wouldn't literally charge those things up with beauty. But, they would in our minds. All mental stimuli become beautiful once we feel beauty from them. So, it's the mental stimuli that become charged up with beauty. Since we are conscious beings, then the moment we feel beauty is when our conscious being becomes something beautiful. That's why positive emotions make us beautiful beings, since that charges our conscious being with beauty. Even the idea of "you" is a mental stimulus, since it's an idea going through your mind. So, feeling beautiful about yourself (or "you") charges yourself up with beauty.

Other Person's Response: Do you treat emotions as different characters?

My Reply: Yes. When you feel disgust, you become a disgusted character. When you feel joy, you become a joyful character. During my miserable moments, I became a character who needed serious help. I became a disgusting, morbid person. I'm glad I'm no longer that character anymore.

Other Person's Response: So, you treat human beings as an empty canvas? Our emotions paint us as different characters?

My Reply: Yes. Also, if you felt that you were a certain character, that would be painting you as that character. Thus, you become that character on the inside. Once you feel (perceive) yourself as a beautiful or disgusting character, then you already are that character on the inside. If we had no emotions, then we'd just be an empty canvas (or an empty vessel) on the inside.

Other Person's Response: I don't think people, who feel negative emotions, are disgusting, horrible people. I don't think our emotions determine whether we're beautiful or disgusting people.

My Reply: I think they do. When you have all those negative thoughts and beliefs, causing you to feel negative emotions, that pollutes your mental being with negativity. Thus, you become a polluted being. When you feel positive emotions, such as joy and beauty, you become a beautiful, joyful character (being). Think of it this way. Imagine a sacred item in an anime. When the item is polluted and corrupt with negative energy, it becomes a disgusting, horrible item. It's tainted with malice. But, once the item is purified, it becomes something pure, beautiful, and innocent.

It shines with with the light of beauty, love, and joy. The item I could use, as a great example, would be the Sacred Jewel, from the anime Inuyasha. We as human beings are like the Sacred Jewel. So, if we want to become beautiful beings, then we must have beautiful thoughts and beliefs making us feel beautiful emotions. That will result in our conscious being filling up with pure beauty. When we feel other positive emotions, such as greatness and awesomeness, we become beings of greatness and awesomeness as well.

Other Person's Response: During your miserable struggles (which were triggered by negative thoughts and worries), you're saying it would be like you've become a corrupt, being of darkness? But, once you've fully recovered, and returned back to your state of joy, you're saying it's like your psyche, or soul, has been purified, and you've become a being of light again?

My Reply: Exactly. All that inner negativity would've been cleared away, all thanks to my brain (or soul's) natural ability to recover on its own.

Other Person's Response: Could you give an analogy for what emotions are like for you?

My Reply: It's as though my conscious being is plain water, and my emotions are the dye. If you put beautiful colors inside the water, then the whole water becomes something beautiful. If you were to pollute the water with disgusting colors, then the water becomes disgusting. Without any colors, then the water is just plain water.

Other Person's Response: In order to be a disgusting person, you'd need to feel disgusting emotions. But, if you felt other negative emotions, such as misery or sadness, that wouldn't make you a disgusting being. It would make you a morbid, sad being.

My Reply: Yes. Still, negative emotions are negative energy, and they should be rid of out of our lives.

Other Person's Response: Since you treat different emotions as alter egos, then does that mean you become the awesome, otherworldly, composing artist when you feel up to composing the bizarre style of music you wish to compose? When you feel excited to go on an adventure in a video game, does this mean you become a happy gamer?

My Reply: Yes. My thoughts would be the source of those emotions. When a person thinks certain ways, and that causes him to feel certain ways, he becomes certain alter egos.

Other Person's Response: If you had the choice to be a psychopath who feels beauty and joy all the time, or to be someone innocent and compassionate who feels miserable all the time, who would you choose to be?

My Reply: I'd have to choose to be the psychopath because my positive emotions are the only things that can make me a beautiful person, and my life beautiful.

Other Person's Response: What would you think if others saw you as a horrible, pitiful, or disgusting person, while you saw yourself as a beautiful, awesome person?

My Reply: Then, at least, my mind is in a beautiful, awesome place, while their minds are in a horrible, pitiful, or disgusting place. The important thing here is that my mind is in a beautiful place, and that's why I need my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Would you choose to put yourself through suffering for the sake of helping and giving to others?

My Reply: No. I would be lowering myself down to a horrible pit for the sake of others, and that would be taking away the positivity in my life.

Other Person's Response: So, you don't want anything to take away your beautiful, divine state of being and living (your positive emotions)?

My Reply: Correct. That's why I'm saying I wouldn't put myself through suffering, or choose to be the innocent person who feels miserable.

Other Person's Response: Could you explain more as to why positive emotions are the ultimate, divine state of being and living?

My Reply: If something's horrifying, disturbing, or tragic, these would be negative emotions. This is where something's "not right" or "horribly wrong." These negative emotions, along with others, such as hate, disgust, and despair, are what spiritual believers refer to as the "lower spiritual frequencies." Negative emotions are a lower state of being and living one's life. When we have positive emotions, this is the opposite of suffering, and this is where things are "right" or "holy."

They would be the higher spiritual frequencies, and that's what makes them the higher, or absolute state of being and living. That's why a psychopath, who derives pleasure from harming others, is at a superior state of being and living, while the suffering victims, who feel negative emotions, are at a lower state of being and living.

In short, all I'm basically saying is that we need the positive in our lives, and we should avoid the negative. It's better to be a psychopath who has much experienced beauty, joy, magnificence, etc. in his life than to be an innocent person who has much experienced torment, misery, despair, etc. in his life. I mean, would you rather live a shit life, and be an innocent person? Or, would you rather be a psychopath who lives an awesome, beautiful life?

Other Person's Response: When you refer to negative emotions as being a lower state of being, and positive emotions being a higher state of being, do you mean negative emotions are an inferior state of being, and positive emotions are a superior state of being?

My Reply: Yes. Having negative emotions makes you inferior compared to having positive emotions, and having positive emotions makes you superior compared to having negative emotions. Negative emotions are unholy, which makes them inferior states of being, while positive emotions are holy, which makes them superior states of being. The same idea applies to negative emotions being an inferior state of living (living an inferior existence), and positive emotions being a superior existence.

Other Person's Response: So, when you're going through a miserable struggle, and you fully recover from it, that's more than just a recovery? You'd be reaching a higher, beautiful state of being?

My Reply: Yes. Positive emotions are a higher, beautiful state of being and living. When I fully recover from an emotional crisis, I'd be rising above all that negativity I had in my life. That's how I become a greater person.

Other Person's Response: If your mother suffered from negative emotions, such as misery, then you're saying you'd be a better person than her, if you were happy?

My Reply: Yes. Likewise, she'd be a better person than me if she was happy, and I was miserable.

Other Person's Response: What about apathy? Where does that rank?

My Reply: Apathy is superior to negative emotions, but inferior to positive emotions. So, apathy would make me superior to feeling negative emotions, but inferior compared to feeling positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: If one person was apathetic, while another felt positive emotions, but said positive emotions weren't experiences of love, beauty, magnificence, etc., since they were induced by means other than thoughts and beliefs, then would that happy person still be a divine being who's superior to the apathetic person?

My Reply: No. He'd be of equal status to the apathetic person. So, in order to become a divine, superior being, you must have a positive experience. You must experience love, beauty, magnificence, etc. The same thing applies to becoming an inferior, unholy being. You must have a negative experience to become that being.

Other Person's Response: Since positivity is the higher vibration, while negativity is the lower vibration in spirituality, then what is apathy?

My Reply: It might be the middle vibration.

Other Person's Response: Since positive emotions are the only things that make us good or beautiful people, then we wouldn't refer to the innocent victims, who felt negative emotions, as being innocent, since the term "innocent" means "good, beautiful, right, etc."

My Reply: Maybe you're right then. Perhaps we should describe the psychopaths, who derive pleasure, as innocent people. But, again, in order for someone to perceive the psychopath as beautiful and innocent, he'd have to feel that way about the psychopath. But, no normal person would feel that way.

Other Person's Response: Well, in order for that psychopath to become a beautiful, innocent person, he'd have to experience beauty and innocence. So, his feeling of pleasure must become this experience for him.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You really don't mean what you say when you say that a psychopath would be a beautiful person if he felt beauty from torturing others, do you?

My Reply: I'm just trying to figure out how my philosophy would work out. Would that psychopath be a beautiful person, according to my philosophy? I know that, in his own mind, he'd be a beautiful person, if he felt that way about himself. But, I'm wondering if he'd actually be a beautiful person in general, whether it be through feeling beautiful about himself, or feeling beauty about something else.

Other Person's Response: Do you hate compassionate people, living things, and see them as deserving of torture?

My Reply: No. As a matter of fact, I think people, who are caring and giving, are beautiful people. That thought would make me feel a positive emotion, which would allow me to see them as beautiful people. It's just that I'd rather be a happy psychopath than a miserable, compassionate person. Lastly, I know I said earlier that compassionate people, who feel disgust, would be disgusting beings, since they have disgusting, spiritual energy flowing through them. But, I'd personally think they're beautiful people anyway, and that would make me feel beauty.

Other Person's Response: You say that people, who feels negative emotions, would be corrupt beings, since they have negative, spiritual energy flowing through them. But, in a purely naturalistic universe, where spiritual things don't exist, such as souls and the afterlife, we wouldn't say these people have negative, spiritual energy flowing through them. Rather, we'd say they're just corrupt beings who need to feel happy again.

My Reply: Yes. That happy state would make them beautiful, joyful beings again.

Other Person's Response: It seems your happiness is #1, and you have no regard for the lives of others. Do you plan on harming others for your own personal pleasure?

My Reply: No. All I'm saying is that me living a life without my positive emotions is unacceptable. That's why I'd be willing to go to the extreme, and become a happy psychopath, as opposed to someone who feels miserable all the time. I'd try to regain my joy if I was the miserable person. If that fails, then I'd become the psychopath.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you did harm people and living things right now. Wouldn't you regret that?

My Reply: I'd have the thought of regretting that. But, that thought has to make me feel regret in order for me to regret it. If it can't make me feel regret (due to a mental illness or other factor), then I wouldn't regret it. Also, in order for me to see it as a wrongdoing, I must feel that it was wrong.

Other Person's Response: If you were in the midst of an emotional crisis, and you harmed someone, but you later became a being of light when you fully recovered from said crisis, you'd still be a horrible person for having harmed that individual.

My Reply: No, I wouldn't. I'd now be a beautiful being of light. If that harmed individual treated me as though I'm a horrible or disgusting person, when I'm now a being of light, then he'd actually be referring to that being of darkness I was in the past. But, since I'd no longer be that horrible, disgusting being of darkness, then it's as though that harmed person is speaking to someone who's not there anymore. So, again, I don't think it's our actions, words, or deeds that determine if we're horrible, disgusting, or beautiful people. What determines this would be if you're a being of light, or a being of darkness (i.e. your emotional state).

Other Person's Response: Since you treat emotions as alter egos, then if you were an enraged person one moment who harmed kind people, and then you were a happy person another moment who was polite towards kind people, that wouldn't make you a horrible person overall. It was only during that moment of rage that you were a horrible being of darkness, and it was during that moment of happiness that you were a beautiful being of light. So, if someone were to treat you (the beautiful being of light) as a horrible monster for having harmed those kind people, then their attitude should no longer apply because you're no longer that horrible, enraged monster.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: If you see yourself as a beautiful or disgusting person, that doesn't make you a beautiful or disgusting person. There are kind, struggling people who see themselves as disgusting people, due to all the stress in their lives. But, they're still beautiful people, since they help others, and contribute to the world. Likewise, just because a psychopath sees himself as a beautiful person doesn't make him a beautiful person. He's still a disgusting person for torturing people and living things.

My Reply: If you see yourself as a beautiful or disgusting person in your own mind, then that makes you a beautiful or disgusting person because you are your mind. Whatever state of mind you're in is who you become. So, if your state of mind is that you see yourself as a beautiful person, then you become a beautiful person, regardless of your actions, words, or deeds.

Given this, you can become anybody in your own mental universe. You can even role play as different characters. By feeling (perceiving) yourself as different characters, you take on many different forms of beauty, horror, or disgust, depending on which character you become. If you felt that you were a disgusting version of the character Sponge Bob, then you become that disgusting character on the inside.

Think of our mental universe as a movie, where we can become any character, whether it be a beautiful female, or a disgusting male character. You can even become a beautiful female character on the inside if you're a male. Females can also become awesome, male characters on the inside if they felt that way about themselves.

Sometimes, how we feel about ourselves isn't always under our control. That means we can't help but become certain beautiful or disgusting characters. During my emotional crisis, I couldn't help but become a disgusting, and pitiful version of myself. I had to play out as this repulsive character until, eventually, I fully recovered from the crisis, and returned back to my beautiful self.

Other Person's Response: If I experienced a certain anime or cartoon character's sexual joy, it would be like I'm a whole new character, having his/her experiences, and going beyond my ordinary sexual experiences?

My Reply: Yes. It would be like you've become the sexually erotic version of that character. You imagine yourself as that character, and, if that thought makes you feel like that character, then you become that character on the inside.

Other Person's Response: So, in order to feel another character's emotions, you'd imagine yourself as being that character? That will allow you to feel emotions that are different than the emotions you'd normally feel?

My Reply: Yes. For example, if you're a male, then you could feel a beautiful, feminine, anime-themed emotion if you witnessed a female, anime character, and you imagined yourself as being her. You could even experience her sexual feelings, which would be different than the sexual feelings that you'd normally have as a guy. I think this is just role playing. When you role play as different characters, you get to have new experiences of joy, beauty, and love (i.e. you get to feel new emotions). You could role play as whatever character that brings you the most profoundly beautiful, joyful experiences. By doing that, you become a whole new entity/character on the inside who's profoundly beautiful and joyful.

Other Person's Response: When you become a different character on the inside, is it like you're seeing the world through the eyes of that character?

My Reply: Yes. It would be like the character's beautiful spirit has taken possession of you. If it was a horrific character that gave you a horrific experience, then it would be like the character's horrific spirit has taken possession of you.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 5/26)

Other Person's Response: I think it's a little weird to internally role play as different characters.

My Reply: Well, if we are souls, we do reincarnate into other male and female bodies. That means we already do become different characters/people. So, becoming different characters internally doesn't seem all that strange.

Other Person's Response: I'm a kind brother, and, if I experienced myself as a loving, kind brother, then that would be the character I become on the inside. It would be the self image I'm experiencing. So, you're saying, since I can experience myself as one particular character (a loving, kind brother), I can experience myself as any character I want?

My Reply: Yes. Only providing you feel like those characters, since you can't experience yourself as a beautiful, joyful, disgusting, etc. character without your emotions.

Other Person's Response: When you, yourself, feel like different characters, do you act like those characters?

My Reply: No. I act like my usual self. If I acted like these characters, I'd give the impression that I'm a crazy person.

Other Person's Response: In regards to role playing as different characters, you could experience yourself as any character you want. If you're in the mood to be a beautiful, female character, then you could imagine yourself as her, or do something that makes you feel like her, and you'd perceive yourself as being that beautiful character. If you're in the mood to experience yourself as an awesome, male character, then you'd perform the same method.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I think it's all up to the individual how he wishes to perceive/experience himself. If he wishes to experience himself as a certain beautiful character, then I say let him.

My Reply: Yes. It's all up to the individual how he wishes to perceive life, as well as himself. He needs his emotions though in order to perceive beauty, tragedy, etc. I, myself, feel like many different people and characters all the time. For example, if I performed a certain gesture that reminded me of a certain person or character, then I'd feel like that person or character.

Other Person's Response: When you experience the beautiful presence of a certain character, it's like that character is a part of you.

My Reply: Yes. As long as you think of that character, and that thought continues to make you experience that character's beautiful presence, then that presence will continue to remain with you. That presence can become you. In other words, you could become the character. Or, the presence can be experienced as its own character. In other words, the character becomes a part of you, but doesn't become you.

Other Person's Response: I think our physical bodies are nothing more than shells, while our inner self is an entire universe, where we can become beautiful characters on the inside, even if you have an ugly, physical appearance.

My Reply: Yes. It's what's on the inside that counts.

Other Person's Response: Since emotions are like different characters, then, if I was unable to feel one particular emotion (which would be sexual arousal), then it would be like a part of me is missing, since I couldn't become a sexually erotic character.

My Reply: Correct. Also, since emotions aren't everlasting, then that means we're missing a part of us much of the time, and we have to wait for said emotions to return in order to regain that part of us.

Other Person's Response: If I internally role played as a certain character, that doesn't make me that character on the inside. For example, if I was a dumb person, and I role played as an intelligent character, that wouldn't make me intelligent.

My Reply: But, you'd become the beauty and greatness of that character by experiencing the character's beauty and greatness as a part of yourself.

Other Person's Response: If you're internally role playing as a certain character, where you perceive yourself as a whole new, beautiful person, then would it be like other people are talking to someone who's no longer there? For example, if a friend treats you as your usual self, then would it be like that usual self is no longer there?

My Reply: Correct. When you become a whole new character on the inside, it's like you're a whole new person from your perspective. Thus, it's like the original you is no longer there.

Other Person's Response: When you internally role play as a certain character, you could speak certain things within your mind, using that character's voice. You could say certain things in your mind that the character would say, and you'll get to hear it in his/her voice.

My Reply: Yes. You'd be internally expressing yourself as a certain character.

Other Person's Response: In regards to characters, you could either perceive yourself as being that character, or you could perceive the character as being separate from yourself. The character becomes a part of you when you see yourself as that character. Thus, you'd be internally role playing as that character, going about your daily tasks. You could act like your usual self. But, on the inside, you'd be a whole new character. When you see any given character as being separate from yourself, then the character becomes his/her own independent individual.

My Reply: Technically, the character is already a part of you, but in different ways. Since the character is in your mind (a visual stimulus), then that makes the character a part of you, regardless if you perceive yourself as being the character, or if you perceive the character as being an independent individual.

Other Person's Response: According to your view, I must keep on feeling positive emotions all the time to keep the beauty, love, joy, and worth generating in my life.

My Reply: Yes. Positive emotions sustain positive values in our lives, such as beauty, greatness, etc. If you lose your positive emotions, then it's like losing the electricity in your home. You'd be out of power, just as how you'd be out of positive values.

Other Person's Response: I see you as an evil monster for choosing to be a happy psychopath, rather than a miserable person.

My Reply: You could look at me that way. Or, you could just look at me as a suffering human being in need of help. You could also look at me as someone potentially dangerous, but not an evil person. For example, a nuclear bomb would be dangerous. But, would we say that the bomb is evil?

Other Person's Response: In order for me to see you as an evil person, I'd have to feel that you're evil?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You lack empathy, since you believe positive emotions are all there is to life.

My Reply: If I am lacking empathy, as you say, is it my lack of empathy that leads me to believe positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful and worth living? Or, is it me having this belief in the first place that renders me lacking empathy?

Other Person's Response: Emotions are necessary in order for empathy to exist in the first place, since empathy is the capacity to feel good or bad about another person's predicament. You can have emotions without empathy because you could still feel happy about getting the things you want, and not feel any emotion about other people. But, you can't have empathy without emotions, since you wouldn't be able to feel sorry or happy for someone.

My Reply: In which case, it would be false to say I'm lacking empathy for thinking emotions are necessary to love, or care about someone. That's because emotions really are necessary. So, the only way I'd lack empathy would be if I felt less emotions in regards to others, and their predicaments. I do lack empathy, since I don't care about the suffering of others in this world. But, I do have some empathy because I'd feel bad if I personally harmed someone, or hurt someone's feelings. Other than that, I just don't care about the world in general, and I let the world go about its own business.

Other Person's Response: Would you feel happy for your mother if she won the lottery, and would you feel happy about someone being helped?

My Reply: Yes, actually. Also, my mother was upset one time, broke down in tears, and I felt bad for her.

Other Person's Response: There are many intelligent people in this world who have a vast amount of knowledge in regards to math, science, etc. But, if these people are living by the wrong definition of happiness, love, etc., then this would be the one thing these intelligent people are ignorant of, and it's, by far, the most important thing.

My Reply: Exactly. Having a positive experience in life is the #1, most important thing that comes above intelligence. So, if an intelligent genius is living by the wrong definition of a positive experience, then he's leaving out the most important thing in life.

Other Person's Response: A person can be highly intelligent in one area, but completely dumb in another area. Perhaps you're intelligent in the area of positivity, since you know what people need to have a positive experience (which would be their positive emotions). But, you're dumb in the area of math, science, etc. Then, there are people who are highly intelligent in math, science, etc., but are dumb in the area of positivity, since they think they can be happy, experience love, and have a positive perspective with no need for their positive emotions.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Do you realize how offensive it is to say intelligent people are dumb when it comes to their own experiences of love, happiness, etc.?

My Reply: I don't care how offensive it is! I've had enough of people telling me I can be happy by making certain choices in my life, when I'm in the midst of a horrible, emotional crisis, where I'm completely miserable and unhappy. These people don't realize I need my feelings of happiness to be happy. I've also had enough of people telling me I'm wrong when I say being in such a miserable state is no way to live or be an artist.

Other Person's Response: Are there intelligent people out there who live by your definition of happiness, love, and a positive experience? If so, then these are the people who'll truly understand you and your predicament.

My Reply: Yes, and I think they're called the emotion theorists. They have much knowledge when it comes to emotions, and how they allow us to experience happiness, beauty, hate, etc. They realize that emotions are value judgments that color our world in perceived beauty, disgust, etc.

Other Person's Response: How people become intelligent is when they study up on things. I see you have much knowledge to share when it comes to emotions, given all the material you've written. So, did you learn all this by studying up on a lot of material?

My Reply: No. I've learned all this through my own personal experience. Now, when it comes to emotions, I don't know anything about the brain, and how all that works. I don't have this knowledge because I never studied up on it. But, I do have experiential knowledge to share, since my personal experience has given me knowledge about emotions being the only way to experience love, happiness, etc.

Other Person's Response: When viewing the world through your own personal experience, you just limit yourself. You must take into consideration new experiences.

My Reply: Yes. But, like I said, I'd need a new personal experience to convince me that positive emotions aren't the only way to be happy, and have a positive perspective.

Other Person's Response: Emotions are considered taboo by many people. That means they're dismissed, not discussed often, and are deemed as trivial. But, they're how we experience love and happiness, perhaps people deny this, and instead live by the wrong definition of love and happiness.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: There's so much you don't understand. A person has two halves: a feeling half, and a reason half. One should always lead with the reason half. Why? If you lead with the feeling half, you could get lost in a sea of emotions. It's never fun being lost. Isn't being lost much of what you've been experiencing? When you pretend that a person, helping others with a negative state of mind, isn't happy, you simply don't understand. This person might start out unhappy. But, will not stay unhappy.

Why? The goodness he gives to others will return to bring that happiness to him. There's a waitress who makes a fortune in tips. She does this by always being happy and joyful around others. People are empathic. They feel her joy, and soon, it rubs off on them. They come in grumpy, but leave laughing. I asked her how she can be so happy and bubbly all the time. She said, when she's down, she just starts acting happily and bubbly, whether she feels that way or not. She says it's not long before she actually becomes happy and bubbly in reality.

Do you understand? When some people get hurt, they embrace the pain. They choose to make that pain more important than anything. This just leads to more hurt and more pain. They need to change, but can be very stubborn. Do you know what happens to a person who needs to change, but refuses? They hurt and hurt until they hurt so badly, that they realize it's easier to change. Is this going to be you? What happens to a person who does the opposite?

When this person hurts, he might hurt. But, he doesn't give it any importance. Just like the waitress, he walks away from the hurt, and gives importance to the light, the happiness, and the goodness. He even pretends until he reaches there. Which path is the best? You keep waiting for outside forces to make you happy, when it has always been in your hands. It's always been up to you. Is any of this reaching you? Or, maybe, you're choosing to be stubborn. It has always been in your hands. Choose!

My Reply: Since I was in a very horrible, miserable state during that emotional crisis, nothing I did, or thought, could bring me feelings of happiness. I just had to be very patient for my positive feelings to return on their own.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your nightmares, which were triggered by devastating worries and negative thoughts, I bet they weren't as horrific as mine.

My Reply: It was the horror I experienced in my nightmares that made them so horrific. It was a horrific experience that goes much deeper than normal, horrific experiences, such as witnessing the death of an animal, being horrified while watching a horror movie, etc. So, if I were to compare the imagery of my nightmares to the imagery of yours, then my images might not be as gruesome as yours. But, if I were to compare the horrific experience I've had from my nightmares to your horrific experience, then I could've had the more horrifying experience than you.

In other words, the horrific emotion I felt could've been worse than the horrific emotion you felt. I might've had a much deeper horrifying experience than you. As you can see, it's what I've experienced that made my nightmares so horrific. It's not about just comparing the imagery and sounds of mine to yours. In other words, don't judge things based upon what they appear on the outside.

You must also take into account the individual's inner experience as well. I don't like it when people judge things based upon what they appear on the outside. Say, for instance, I lived my life the best I could, and achieved my goals and dreams without my positive emotions. People would say I've lived a beautiful, worthwhile life. But, I didn't. Since I didn't have that inner experience of beauty and joy, my life really amounted to nothing beautiful and worthwhile.

Other Person's Response: What you're basically saying is that we shouldn't jump to conclusions based upon your actions, gestures, and tones of voice.

My Reply: Correct. Like I said earlier, people need to consider my inner experience, rather than judging based upon how things appear.

Other Person's Response: I heard that the miserable struggles you've had in the past weren't as horrible as the ones you've recently had. If, let's pretend, you acted in a devastated manner from your past miserable struggles, but not your recent ones, then people shouldn't jump to the conclusion that your past struggles were the worse ones.

My Reply: Exactly. It's not about how I act. It's about what I experience on the inside. My recent struggles were the worse ones, since they were more horrible experiences.

Other Person's Response: Another example would be that Jon can be disgusting to Jake, but Jake can still act like Jon is still beautiful to him, just to be polite, and not tell Jon the real truth.

My Reply: Correct. That's why you can't jump to conclusions based upon a person's actions, words, gestures, or deeds. After all, that's why people get killed by strangers. When a serial killer acts nice and fools someone (such as a child) into believing he's a nice person, then the child gets slaughtered or molested when he rides with the killer in the car.

Other Person's Response: A robot could act like he loves someone, or that something is beautiful and worthwhile to him. But, that robot wouldn't be loving anybody. Neither would anything be beautiful and worthwhile to him. That's because the robot is just a machine with no inner experience.

My Reply: Correct. Since robots can act like they love, and that things are beautiful and worthwhile to them, then humans can also act the same way, even when they aren't loving anybody or anything, or when nothing is beautiful and worthwhile to them.

Other Person's Response: What I don't understand is how a person can still do something, but said thing not having value to that person. The very fact the person does it must mean it had value to him/her.

My Reply: A robot can still do things, even though said things don't have value to that robot. Robots can't value things anyway because, when you value something as beautiful or good, that is the inner experience of beauty and goodness. It's like a divine state, or an inner, holy light.

Like I said, robots can't have that experience, since they don't have consciousness. They don't have emotions. Therefore, even if a robot did a certain task, spoke, and said this task was something the robot valued, that robot wouldn't be valuing that task. The same idea applies to how nothing can matter to robots.

Other Person's Response: What if a person felt a positive emotion, but acted like it was a horrible or disgusting feeling for him?

My Reply: If he wasn't feeling a horrible or disgusting emotion, then he'd be acting like that positive emotion is horrible or disgusting to him, when it's really not.

Other Person's Response: It's nonsense to call positive and negative emotions divine and unholy states. They're just biochemical things.

My Reply: If we live in a universe where god, the afterlife, and paranormal exist (i.e. a mystical universe), then positive and negative experiences would be divine and unholy mental states. That would make positive and negative emotions divine and unholy mental states, since they're positive and negative experiences.

But, if emotions are just biochemical in nature, and we live in a universe where the divine light and unholy darkness don't exist (which are mystical things), then emotions would just be the biochemical equivalent of the holy light and unholy darkness.

In other words, even though emotions wouldn't literally be the holy light or unholy darkness experienced within us, they'd be the biochemical equivalent of that, which means they could metaphorically, and not literally, be described as the holy light and unholy darkness. In a mystical universe, they'd literally be the holy light and unholy darkness.

Other Person's Response: If a couple were in love, and they wish to experience the most profound, powerful, beautiful moment with one another, then they must feel the most profound, powerful, beautiful emotion?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If someone perceived her (the psychopath) as a beautiful person, that doesn't mean it was a beautiful experience for him. He could still feel horrified that he perceived the psychopath as beautiful. So, that perception of beauty would be a horrific experience for him.

My Reply: If someone experienced pain, then he had a painful experience. If someone experienced pleasure, then he had a pleasurable experience. Many people would say a painful experience can be a pleasurable experience, and vice versa. But, that wouldn't be so. For example, if someone experienced pleasure from his pain, then his pleasure was the pleasurable experience, and his pain was still a painful experience. You can't say a painful experience can be a pleasurable experience, and vice versa, since pain and pleasure are 2, separate things.

It would be like saying the experience of hunger can be the experience of thirst, and vice versa. So, if someone experienced horror from an experience of beauty he had, then his experience of horror was the horrific experience, and his experience of beauty was still the beautiful experience. You can't say that, just because this person experienced horror in regards to an experience of beauty he had, that this experience of beauty was a horrific experience, since it would be like saying the experience of pain was a pleasurable experience, and vice versa.

Other Person's Response: So, when people derive pleasure from their pain, it's not the pain itself they desire. It's the pleasure they get from their pain that they desire. In which case, they're just seeking pleasure. That means there are other methods of experiencing pleasure, and one doesn't have to be inflicted with pain. As a matter of fact, there are methods that can offer someone a much greater level of pleasure than the pleasure they'd get from being inflicted with pain.

My Reply: Yes. I could say the same thing about experiencing joy and beauty from having horrific experiences (such as from watching a horror movie). It's the experience of beauty and joy these people seek. If people just had horrific experiences from watching horror movies, and no beautiful, awesome, entertaining, joyful, etc. experience, then people would shy away from watching these movies. Given this, it would be better for people to only experience beauty, joy, etc. in regards to these horror movies, and have no horrific experience.

Other Person's Response: You're saying you'd rather have the thought that doing something that would harm yourself (such as doing drugs) is a beautiful thing, and for that thought to make you feel beauty in regards to doing drugs?

My Reply: Yes. But, regardless of that thought and feeling, I could still choose to not do drugs, just from knowing the harm and consequences.

Other Person's Response: Do you feel good about the idea of doing drugs, even though you'd never take drugs?

My Reply: No. There are plenty of things in life that I just don't feel anything about, and the idea of doing drugs would be one of those things. But, even though there are plenty of things I don't care about, I can still make choices. That means I'd never choose to do drugs.

Other Person's Response: You can sit there and think to yourself that the harm and consequences of doing drugs is horrible, and that would be a thought you'd be having. But, why would that thought not make you feel horrible?

My Reply: It's because it would just be a thought going through my mind, and nothing more. It's not the type of thought that would devastate me, or make me feel horrible emotions. In other words, I'm not genuinely (truly) thinking that the harm and consequences are horrible. If I did, then that genuine thought would be making me feel horrible.

Other Person's Response: You say you don't care about much. I think you should, since you wouldn't be apathetic in regards to so many things, and you'd be able to have more beautiful experiences in life.

My Reply: I have many beautiful experiences in my life as it is (providing I have my ability to feel positive emotions). So, I see no need for me to have thoughts of concern about things I normally don't care about in order to give myself more beautiful experiences.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, I realize there are articles on the internet that go against your philosophy, since they talk about how happiness (positive emotions) shouldn't be the goal in life, and that our goal should instead be things, such as contributing to the world, or doing our best to make it through life, regardless of how unhappy or miserable we are. You're saying you disagree with such articles?

My Reply: Yes. I think life's all about the happiness. That means it's all about being happy contributing to the world, doing the hobbies we love, etc.

Other Person's Response: I find your philosophy very depressing.

My Reply: It's actually supposed to be rage-provoking, since it's supposed to make people angry at the unfairness of life, given that life is an unhappy place to be, where positive emotions are fleeting things. If god, and these heavenly beings, do exist, then people are supposed to be angry at them, since they allow so much unhappiness.

Other Person's Response: I thought negative emotions, such as feelings of rage, would make our lives bad though.

My Reply: Yes. So, perhaps I should've said people should feel good about trying to do something about this unfairness, and living the happiest lives they can live.

Other Person's Response: If you were to lose your positive emotions, would you feel enraged?

My Reply: I only feel enraged when I'm having an emotional crisis, such as during a devastating moment in my life, and I can't help but feel this way. So, just losing my positive emotions doesn't cause me to feel rage.

Other Person's Response: Would you be alright if you could only feel positive emotions on certain occasions?

My Reply: I need my positive emotions throughout the day each day. So, I need my life, and hobbies, experienced as beautiful, good, worth living for, etc. throughout the day. If I have many moments where I don't have my positive emotions, then these moments are just gaps in my life.

Other Person's Response: Some feelings of love are greater than others. For example, if a criminal felt love towards someone one moment, hated that person another moment, and threatened to kill him, then that feeling of love wouldn't be as profound and everlasting as someone who's very kind and compassionate.

My Reply: Yes. A criminal might only experience a shallow form of love, such as loving someone only when he gets what he wants, while a very compassionate person would experience a profound love towards someone. But, like I said, positive emotions are fleeting, which means love isn't an everlasting experience, no matter if you're a criminal, or a very compassionate person. Compassion isn't an everlasting experience either, since it, too, is a fleeting emotion.

Still, a criminal would experience less love and compassion than a kind, giving person. However, if that kind individual struggled with a mental illness that rendered him with a chronic absence of emotions (apathy) throughout his life, then he'd experience less love and compassion than a criminal. This would, unfortunately, make that person less loving and compassionate than a criminal, regardless of his kind acts and deeds.

Other Person's Response: If you define love and compassion as emotions, then that would make a chronically apathetic person less loving and compassionate than a criminal who's able to feel those emotions on certain occasions.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: What about someone who feels lots of love and compassion towards others, but doesn't help anyone, and lets people suffer?

My Reply: Then he'd still be loving and compassionate. He just wouldn't be performing any loving, compassionate deeds. If a person felt much hunger and thirst, but didn't act out on those feelings by getting something to eat or drink, then he'd still be hungry and thirsty. He just wouldn't be performing any acts of hunger and thirst. So, how we feel determines whether we're loving, compassionate, hateful, happy, sad, etc. Not our actions, gestures, or deeds.

Other Person's Response: There's another thing that can take away our ability to feel emotions besides having a mental illness, and that would be being born with a mental defect.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If someone without his positive emotions decided to give up on life, and cause grief to his family by committing suicide, then that would be a very unloving person.

My Reply: Well, without his positive emotions, he couldn't be a loving person anyway, since he's unable to feel any love.

Other Person's Response: You're telling me you've never loved, experienced happiness, or perceived something as ugly, disgusting, or beautiful independently of your emotions?

My Reply: That's correct. That's why I don't agree with the non-emotional definition of love, happiness, etc. By the way, I looked up the definition of happiness, and it says:

"Happiness is used in the context of mental or emotional states, including positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. It is also used in the context of life satisfaction, subjective well-being, eudaimonia, flourishing and well-being."

Well, I don't think happiness can be anything else other than a positive emotion. Neither can happiness be both a positive emotion, and some other state of mind. Happiness is a positive experience, and positive emotions are the only positive experiences. If someone is apathetic (emotionless), how could you say this person is happy? It makes no sense. Being happy is caring about something, or someone, in a positive way, and being apathetic is a state of mind where you don't care about anything. Can a robot be happy? No.

That's because it doesn't care about anything in a positive way, and you need positive emotions to care about people and things in a positive way. Robots are emotionless machines. So, it would make no sense to say they can experience love, happiness, sadness, anger, etc. It would also make no sense to say robots can value things as good or beautiful, since that experience would be a positive emotion, which robots don't have.

Other Person's Response: I wouldn't imagine beautiful and worthwhile experiences in life being so fleeting.

My Reply: I think such experiences are like rare, sacred items that only comes around once in a while. If you're lucky, then you can have them all throughout the day each day. That is, if positive emotions aren't fleeting for you.

Other Person's Response: You said thoughts take on an emotional form when they make us feel emotions. I don't think this makes sense.

My Reply: If you were to have a certain thought in your mind (such as the speech of a president or your favorite song), then that thought would send the signal to the audio cortex of your brain, which would allow you to hear that president's speech in your mind or your favorite song. This shows that thought information does get transferred over to other areas of our brain. The same idea applies to thoughts and emotions. Thoughts of beauty, love, and joy send the signal to make us feel beauty, love, and joy.

Other Person's Response: If a customer experienced nothing but misery and frustration, then, sure, he did have much drive and desire within him. He might've had the drive and desire to punch someone, or to just throw something on the ground out of misery and despair. But, that would've been nothing but a negative experience for that customer, since the customer had nothing but a negative perspective/outlook.

My Reply: Yes. Even though negative emotions do drive us, they only ruin the party, so to speak. The goal is to have positive experiences in life.

Other Person's Response: A person could still have a positive experience, such as getting a good service, regardless if that person had nothing but a negative perspective the whole time.

My Reply: The type of experience a person has all comes down to that person's state of mind. So, that person wouldn't be having a positive experience, since he had nothing but a negative perspective. Thus, he had nothing but a negative experience.

Other Person's Response: Do you even care about the negative experiences? You just burn them in fire and hope they never existed.

My Reply: You're having a positive attitude about negative experiences, and having a positive attitude implies a positive experience. But, negative experiences, in of themselves, can't be positive experiences, just as how a sad experience can't be a happy experience, since sadness and happiness are 2, separate things.

Other Person's Response: What if negative experiences have allowed me to have much more positive experiences in my life than I ever could otherwise?

My Reply: Then those negative experiences were beneficial. But, don't act as though those negative experiences were positive experiences, since they're 2, separate things. If you wish to experience a negative experience as something positive, then you'd need to have a positive experience mixed in with that negative experience. So, you'd need to feel a positive emotion mixed in with that negative emotion.

Other Person's Response: Negative experiences, in of themselves, are nothing but negative experiences. That means they, alone, are no way to live or be an artist. But, if they can be used to acquire much more positive experiences in your life than you could've obtained otherwise, then those negative experiences were, at least, beneficial.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If feeling negative emotions is going to result in much more joy in a person's life than he could've had otherwise, then he should consider having those negative emotions? Other than that, negative emotions should be avoided?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I think you need psychological help if your emotions are so ruling of your life and perception.

My Reply: I don't think so. I think emotions are the only way we can perceive things as good, bad, etc.

Other Person's Response: Thinking of negative emotions as unholy is wrong. To think of them as bad is one thing. Unholy is quite another. Unholy means it's sinful and wicked to feel such things, which implies we should think harshly of ourselves whenever we inevitably do. Regarding negative emotions as unholy is to regard such emotions less as natural things we experience in life, and more as unnatural things to be avoided.

My attitude they're something to be learned from, and give meaning to life, may be out there. But, this idea that they are sin is so, so wrong. First of all, such wrongheaded thinking is harmful. If you feel bad emotions and think of them in such a way, you condemn yourself and make things worse. You think of life as terrible for having felt bad things. But, that perception is nonsense. Your life is awful for having felt a negative emotion? Nonsense!

That you feel emotions like this only goes to show you're human. Not corrupt or bad in some way. Why would you be corrupt, exactly? Secondly, this notion goes against holy teachings. It's not the happy who inherit the earth. God doesn't regard negative emotions as sinful. Sadness in the bible is not a sin unto itself, and not something God condemns. If he did, Jesus would be quite the sinner. Also, positive mental states aren't necessarily holy in the eyes of the Bible. Gluttony, lust, and greed are regarded as sinful. Not holy.

"When we're empty vessels or beings of darkness, it's no way to live or be an artist."

Some of the most celebrated artists have had hardships and suffering in their lifetime. Who are you to deny them meaning?

My Reply: I have my personal views and you have yours.

Other Person's Response:

A life without positive emotions is no way to live or be an artist

A few great works of art have been created out of negative emotions. The works of Francisco Goya immediately spring to mind. Specifically, his Black Paintings, which are works of art that provide an insight to the dark side of man. Picasso's Guernica is also a painting I think of when it comes to darkness. Van Gogh had dark times in his life. But, you wouldn't describe his work as worthless, or without merit.

if I had the choice, I'd choose to be in an apathetic state than to feel negative emotions

Apathy is worse than negative experiences. Apathy robs people of the means to better themselves, and makes people a victim of their circumstances. They don't move on, they remain stuck where they are, lifeless, and unable to improve their lives. Negative emotions, when viewed as damaging, instead of as experiences to learn from, can lead to apathy, and apathy is something we should avoid. People have an unhealthy relationship with negativity. They view it in a way where it has power over them, when it should be the other way around--they have power over it.

The bad things in life overcome people, and they become victims of circumstance. That's not how things should be. What happens in life, and how you react to that, are two, different things, and you can either put yourself down and let the bad things in life ruin you, or you can use those things to make yourself a better person (someone people look up to, and are proud of). It's not a case of your views being offensive to people. Rather, it's a case of, what I believe is, genuinely a better way to look at life than the views you currently hold, and to get more out of life.

My Reply: When we feel negative emotions, we're far away from the divine and holiness (the beauty, magnificence, goodness, etc.). But, apathy is closer to that realm of positivity.

Other Person's Response: So, divine is superior to an empty void, and to unholy, which means positive emotions are superior to apathy, and to negative experiences? From there, apathy is inferior to divine, but superior to negativity, and negativity is both inferior to divine, and to apathy?

My Reply: Yes. Divine is the ultimate status our souls/minds need to obtain, and we obtain that status through positive emotions. If you're in an apathetic state, you're far away from that divine, heavenly status/experience. But, being in a negative state is furthest away from the divine state.

Other Person's Response: You talk about how we need to have positive experiences. I think the goal in life should be to just live life as it is without expecting such experiences. So, we shouldn't be concerned about such experiences, we shouldn't be concerned about good, bad, beauty, right, wrong, etc., and we shouldn't have thoughts and beliefs that certain things are good, bad, etc. Such a concern stems from the ego, and the goal is to transcend the ego. That is our divine purpose as human beings.

My Reply: Positive experiences are divine states, which means seeking them is our divine purpose as human beings. So, seeking positive emotions is our divine purpose. By the way, divine means positive (good, beautiful, etc.). So, the purpose you described can't be divine, since it's a purpose of giving up positivity.

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File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 6/26)

Other Person's Response: There are dark, gothic people out there who create wonderful works of art through their negative emotions.

My Reply: I realize this. But, their lives wouldn't have that positivity if they didn't feel positive emotions. So, these gothic people shouldn't be embracing negative emotions, since there's no reason to. They should embrace positive emotions, since they're the only things that make our lives and artistic endeavors good and beautiful. Actually, positive emotions can possess a dark, gothic quality to them that these gothic people can embrace.

As I said before, how you think is how you will feel. So, if someone has a dark, gothic thought, and it makes him feel a positive emotion, then he'll have a positive form of a dark, gothic experience in his life. That means there are 2 forms of darkness: 1.) The negative form of darkness (negative emotions), such as feelings of despair, anguish, disgust, and hate. 2.) The positive form of darkness (positive emotions), such as feeling awesome from listening to a dark, gothic, heavy metal song.

That means we can become beings of darkness, and our very being and lives still being awesome and beautiful. Again, only #2 can make that happen. I'd actually refer to #1 as being the unholy darkness, and #2 as being the divine darkness. #2 would be like a black light, since it's the power of the Divine Light taking on a dark, gothic form. Positivity can take on many forms, whether it be a childish form (such as a happy child), it can take on the form of fun and adventure, or it can take on a dark, gothic form.

You can become any one of these on the inside. Negativity can also take on many different forms as well. Negativity can even take on the form of light. Now, you'd have the opposite of divine darkness. You'd now have the evil or unholy light. I'll give an example of this one. It could be a horrific, disturbing, or creepy emotion from witnessing a scene that has sunshine, rainbows, and naturalistic landscapes. Maybe it could be the Teletubbies. So, if someone felt a negative emotion from that, then that would be an example of the unholy light.

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers would say we create our own heaven or hell through our way of thinking. Thoughts are very powerful things, and I think they do create our heaven or hell here on Earth.

My Reply: No. It's the emotions that create our heaven or hell here on Earth. Positive thinking allows your brain to tap into divine consciousness, and to receive it.

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers would say there's the realm of the light, and the realm of the dark. So, you're saying it's what emotion we feel that determines which of these mental realms we reside in?

My Reply: That's correct. Many people would assume that thinking positive is what puts us in the realm of the light, and thinking negative puts us in the dark. For example, if someone has nothing but thoughts of hate, disgust, etc., then that's said to be the realm of the dark for the individual. Actually, thoughts and beliefs are merely the gateway to experiencing these realms.

They, in of themselves, can't put us in these realms, since they're just concepts or ideas. If the gate is closed (that is, if your thoughts and beliefs can't make you feel emotions, due to a mental illness or some other factor), then you cannot enter these realms. You would, therefore, have forbidden access to a paradise on Earth, or a hell on Earth (providing you can't feel negative emotions either).

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers also say we become divine beings (or beings of light) when we have positive thoughts, and we become beings of darkness when we have negative thoughts. You're saying it's instead our emotional state that determines whether we're beings of light or darkness?

My Reply: Correct. When you watch anime, you hear positive spiritual energy, and negative spiritual energy being said all the time. Negative energy corrupts and poisons, while positive energy is beauty, love, and joy.

Other Person's Response: I heard you're undecided on the existence of the afterlife. But, living an eternally blissful afterlife would be the greatest life you could live, since such a life would offer you an eternal, positive experience. Thus, you'd be getting an eternal amount of positivity.

My Reply: Yes. The more positive experiences I get out of life, the better. That's because I'm getting more out of life. But, if this Earthly existence is the only life I have, then that would be disappointing because I'd only be getting a limited amount of positive experiences in my life. Especially since positive emotions are fleeting in this Earthly existence.

Other Person's Response: If this Earthly existence is all there is, and there's no god, then seeking positive emotions wouldn't be a divine purpose for humanity, since the word "divine" implies the existence of god. Rather, it would simply be the ultimate purpose for humanity.

My Reply: Yes. Naturalistic skeptics, who are convinced this natural, Earthly existence is the only life we have, always talk about how to live the best life we can, since it's the only life we have. Well, in my opinion, I think it can only be through living the happiest life we can.

Other Person's Response: Do you think god might be dumb, and not understand that having positive experiences in life is the reason for living?

My Reply: Why would he be dumb? Isn't god all-knowing? I'll admit though, it sure seems like it, since he sends people here to Earth, where there's much suffering, and positive emotions are fleeting. Not only that, he doesn't heal the minds of those suffering. An example would be how he didn't heal me of this misery-inducing worry I've had, which lingered on for about 3 years.

So, he might be dumb, which renders him in a position where he treats positive experiences as very trivial things. That's why those who are having a lot of negative experiences in life are left to suffer, and god does nothing to heal their minds to restore their positive experiences. It really gets to me when others, including god and these heavenly beings, don't understand that I really need my positive emotions, and that they're far from trivial things.

Other Person's Response: So, do you think god, and these heavenly beings, have a plan and purpose for humanity that's dumb, absurd, pointless, and unnecessary?

My Reply: Yes. God's plan and purpose lacks compassion and understanding.

Other Person's Response: Love is a positive experience that many people seek, and spiritual believers always talk about how it's a very precious thing. If people are going to seek love, then there are many other positive experiences to seek as well, such as the experience of beauty, joy, etc.

My Reply: Yes. Love is far from a trivial experience, and that would even include all other positive experiences.

Other Person's Response: People, who have near death experiences, go on heavenly trips to the afterlife, and meet god, report that the most important life lesson they learn is love. So, I think god understands just how important positive experiences are, including love.

My Reply: Maybe he doesn't understand that all positive experiences, including love, can only be positive emotions. Perhaps that's the reason why god doesn't care that positive emotions are very fleeting in this Earthly existence.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps god is a liar, and he really doesn't care about love, or humanity.

My Reply: Or, maybe, god doesn't exist, and those heavenly trips people go on are nothing more than hallucinations. That means these people aren't learning any life lesson from a real god, or real heavenly beings.

Other Person's Response: There's a form of love that's not transient, and it's unconditional love.

My Reply: Are you sure this form of love you speak of exists? Personally, I think love can only be a fleeting emotion, and people deny this, since they don't want it to be true. They wish to believe in some greater, everlasting love, which doesn't exist.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I've felt it. So, I know that this everlasting, unconditional love exists. It's only fleeting, or impermanent, to those who deny the everlasting nature of it, which is also like a catch 22. To be honest, it's only my depression which stops me from experiencing it more than just a fleeting sensation. If my depression wasn't getting in the way, I'd be blissed out 24/7 on this love.

The ego will create anything to preserve the individual identity for its own survival, and depression is usually caused by feelings of not being loved, appreciated, heard, acknowledged, or losing that which was once loved in a physical way. There are many expressions of love...Eros, Filial, Agape... The only love that lasts forever is Agape (Divine Love).

All other forms of love come with conditioned attachment, and you're correct. Once the attachment goes, so does the love, and the forms of love we're both talking about are two different varieties. I've felt God's love, and my rejection of it is causing my depression because my ego wants to stay in control. So, I really bring all of my suffering on myself, as harsh as that may sound.

My Reply: Now, I've been known to enjoy my life and hobbies all throughout the day each day. That was before I had devastating moments in my life, which caused me to be miserable. But, the very fact I was able to continually enjoy my life and hobbies doesn't mean my enjoyment wasn't an emotion. It was still an emotion, which means something else could've taken it away from me, such as brain damage.

So, when you say you'd able to experience this greater, everlasting, unconditional love if it weren't for your depression, that love would still be an emotion you're feeling. If you had brain damage, or developed some sort of mental illness that's known to take away positive emotions, then you wouldn't be able to love. So, love is still an emotion, which means there's no such thing as a form of love that still stands, even in the face of brain damage, mental illness, etc.

Other Person's Response: What about people who are still able to feel love, despite having brain damage, or a mental illness?

My Reply: It all depends on the severity of the brain damage, mental illness, and what brain regions have been affected. If it's severe, and has greatly affected those regions of the brain responsible for feelings of love, then your ability to feel love would be completely absent and chronic. But, if it's not that severe, and hasn't affected those brain regions that much, then you may have some moments where you feel love, and moments where you don't.

Other Person's Response: In regards to depression, it's not always caused by a person's negative thinking. There's clinical depression, which is a form of depression that's a mental illness.

My Reply: Yes. Now, I've had many moments where I was depressed. But, that form of depression was caused by my negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts then made me feel hopelessness, which was a very negative experience for me.

Other Person's Response: In my experience, there's a big difference between the love of the Divine, and the emotional love felt by humans. It's a difference which is much more than just conditional love and unconditional love. The love of human beings often begins with infatuation, and infatuation has often been described as a state of insanity. The love of God, or the Divine, transforms your entire being; it's not merely emotional. You merge with it, and it absorbs you. The love of God is very intoxicating and overwhelming to the point that you lose yourself in it.

There are no individuals in God's love. There is just God's love, and that's the only thing that exists. When you feel it, you instantly know that this is the source of all joy, and all love. God's love makes the word "love" seem puny. People have to transform themselves to experience the fineness of that unconditional love. But, we don't have to transform ourselves to experience human, emotional love. Most of the time, what we call human love is but lust, and, in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with that. But, human, emotional love comes and goes, while the love of God is permanent and steadfast. This is my experience.

My Reply: You say we must feel the Divine love to experience it, and that it's a feeling unlike the human, emotional love. You say the Divine love isn't transient. But, feelings are already transient things. For example, a feeling of hunger, thirst, pain, pleasure, etc. isn't everlasting. But, you're saying the Divine love is a feeling unlike all those other feelings, since it's an everlasting feeling that can't be taken away by brain damage, mental illnesses, etc.?

Other Person's Response: I also said that we have to first go through a transformation process to feel divine love. But, we don't have to go through a transformation process to feel emotional love. We're here for self-development, and the process of spiritual development brings us closer to God's love.

My Reply: Well, even if I did acquire this Divine love, in order to love someone, I'd need to have a loving thought to make me feel love. But, thoughts and feelings can't be the same thing, and the Divine love is a feeling. So, a loving thought still has to make me feel love in order for me to love someone. That means the loving thought must send a signal to some other region of my brain to make me feel love. But, like I said, there are things that can prevent thoughts from sending the signal, such as brain damage, mental illnesses, etc.

That would just leave me with a loving thought, without a loving feeling. So, the way I see it, it's the same situation as before. This Divine love would have to be fleeting, just like the human, emotional love. Unless, somehow, there's a way the Divine love can be everlasting, even in the face of brain damage, mental illness, etc. But, I just don't understand how it can be everlasting, which means I don't understand how that would work. How would that work scientifically?

Other Person's Response: Why don't you first start by loving yourself before you get into all of these so-called loving thoughts for others? If you don't have love in your own heart, then how are you going to give love to others? The love that we have in our thoughts is conditional love. But, the love of God has nothing to do with our thoughts. If you have love in your heart, then you can love others without saying a word, or having a thought. First, learn how to truly love yourself, and be conscious of the presence of love in your own heart.

My Reply: Well, like I said, I don't know if this form of love even exists. The only love I've ever had was emotional.

Other Person's Response: I've felt Divine love before, and it's more than just a fleeting emotion, which is unlike the notion that many other people are convinced of, which would be that love is just an emotion, created by the brain. I've, at least, heard others say love isn't something in the heart, but is something the brain creates. I don't fully believe this is the case because the heart was the first thing to develop in the body before the brain. The brain was one of the last things, if I'm remembering that correctly.

It's also important for one to love themselves, and work on that, even if it may feel impossible to some. Like, for people who have depression, it isn't an impossible task. But, they may feel numb about things that would normally cause them to feel love. But, they can love, if they allow it, and that's a good mindset for them. This mindset will create a space that will allow them to let go of the things, thoughts, and beliefs that may cause them to feel numb to where they think they can only feel love for a fleeting moment.

I believe love is something that doesn't ever leave one. But, if we have the belief that love is fleeting, its power fades off into the background. So, I believe one's belief and perspective of love also has its effects on how they see love, experience love, how it affects them, and manifests for them. I believe love (and by love, I mean divine/unconditional love) to be one of the biggest lessons because you can learn so many things from it.

My Reply: But, the heart doesn't experience love, joy, hate, sorrow, etc. It's just an organ. The brain is where we have all our experiences, whether they be sight, smell, hearing, taste, emotions, etc.

Other Person's Response:

But, the heart doesn't experience love, joy, hate, sorrow, etc. It's just an organ. The brain is where we have all our experiences, whether they be sight, smell, hearing, taste, emotions, etc.

If you've never felt Divine Love, then it's something nobody would ever be able to explain to you "scientifically." Want to know something? It's our love for the "scientific" which keeps us in our head-space, and causes all of that misery and depression. I speak from first hand experience. To learn more about the functions of the heart beyond it being a "physical organ that pumps blood," I refer you to the works of Gregg Braden. You see, the experience of Divine Love through the heart, which others refer to as Grace, is a very deeply profound, spiritual experience, which is both a feeling and, yet, much more than just a feeling.

Anyway, as long as you concentrate on just the physicality, and on the material and scientific, you'll NEVER experience this love. NEVER! The thing is, too many people are attached to their intellect, theories, philosophies, to science and proof, to Duality, to black and white mindsets, etc. I know my friend...I KNOW, and do you know how I know? Because I'm one of them myself! Has this really done anything for me in my spiritual quest to walk with God? No! Not in the slightest. In fact, it has had the opposite effect of turning my attention and awareness away from God, causing suffering and misery. Fortunately, I know what it is I'm missing. Unfortunately, you do not, which may actually be fortunate because if you did, your depression would increase a hundredfold.

My Reply: Since people are so attached to their views, which prevents them from feeling Divine love, and since Divine love is so important, then why doesn't god, or the heavenly beings, enlighten these people, so they can obtain Divine love? Why do they allow humanity to remain unenlightened? They have to power to instantly bestow divine knowledge upon humanity, and they allow humanity to remain ignorant.

Other Person's Response:

Unfortunately, you do not, which may actually be fortunate because if you did, your depression would increase a hundredfold.

Would this actually make you feel depressed if you knew what you were missing?

My Reply: No. It's only those negative thoughts and worries I had that caused me misery, and devastated me.

Other Person's Response: People have already been trying to enlighten you by presenting to you information on Divine love.

My Reply: Just presenting to me information isn't enough to convince me Divine love exists. So, I could read all the information I want to read about it, and I still wouldn't be convinced. I'm undecided on controversial/debatable topics anyway, since people just argue back and forth all day long, and it gets nowhere. Even the existence of Divine love is controversial. If me being enlightened to the existence of Divine love is necessary for me to obtain it, then why doesn't god, or these heavenly beings, just enlighten me?

Also, there are people who are attached to a scientific materialistic view, and attached to others views, and that's something they can't help. It's not like they can just choose to let go of said attachment. So, it would be best for god, and these heavenly beings, to enlighten these people as well. Otherwise, they'd just be stuck, and would never obtain Divine love. I realize some scientific materialists convert over to spirituality, and claim they've obtained Divine love. But, not too many do.

Other Person's Response: What would it take to convince you then? What if I were to tell you that the fact you need "convincing" prevents you from just accepting? What if I were to tell you that any notion of "blind faith" is just a contrivance to keep skeptics stuck where they are? However, you've already made up your mind, due to the free will God has given you. He can't force you to receive His Grace. He probably realizes that you're just not ready yet. Maybe in the next lifetime you'll be ready. Peace and good luck on your journey.

My Reply: If someone were to come up with any given claim, such as that vaccines are harmful, that there's an afterlife, etc., such claims obviously can't be accepted at face value because you might as well be convinced of anything at face value. Also, I have read through the debates regarding certain topics, and there's no way I can discover the truth in regards to these topics, since it's just an argument that goes back and forth all day long.

Other Person's Response: You didn't answer my question. What would it take to convince you? Or, don't you want to be convinced? You'd have to know what Divine Love is to know what it's not.

My Reply: The only thing that would convince me would be experiencing this Divine love for myself, and I've never experienced it.

Other Person's Response: I can help you with that. But, first, I have a few questions. Why do you want to experience Divine Love? Is it just to satisfy your intellectual curiosity? Or, is there something deep inside yourself that you feel is missing/lacking? Would you be willing to suspend your beliefs, and just let go of your concepts for about two seconds? You can have them all back after the fact, if you still want them.

Or, are you scared? What's your concept of God/Divine? How does the notion of this present itself to you? You don't have to become a Christian, adopt any religion or methodology, and you don't even have to believe anything I say. In fact, I can experience Divine Love at the drop of a hat IF I just forgo my stubborn will and attachment to my anal, retentive, control issues for just a few seconds. It could work for you, too.

My Reply: It's out of curiosity, as well as the desire to have everlasting positive experiences in my life, and no longer have to rely on my fleeting, positive emotions as a sole source of positive experiences. Also, I don't believe that positive emotions are the only way to have those experiences. So, I've already suspended that belief.

As I said before, I'm undecided when it comes to controversial topics, and the idea that positive emotions are the only way to have those experiences is controversial, which means I'm undecided on that. But, I suspect positive emotions could be the only way to have those experiences. I'm not exactly sure though. Lastly, my view of divine would be the positive emotions, since they give us positive experiences, such as love, joy, etc.

Other Person's Response: Alright, so I see you wish to obtain Divine Love. Here's the exercise you need to perform to obtain it. Where I'm going with this, hear me out. In a moment of quiet, reflective solitude, when you're not too preoccupied with your own thoughts, just put all your questions and concerns to the universe. Don't expect any outcome, and don't wait for a reply. Just look within, let go of all expectations, all critical thought or judgments, and just allow yourself to be, just as you are, sitting there, in that moment.

Ask God to show you His Divine Love. But, don't process what comes through mentally. Allow it to bypass your scientific mind. Don't fight it. Surrender. That is the key word here...surrender. You may notice a slight feeling deep within. Don't rationalize it away, and try not to get caught up in the sensation. Allow yourself to flow with it, and go with it. The sensation will intensify. But, keep calm and focused on your intent (and your breath).

If you feel a pressure in your chest, or even the urge to cry, let it go. Let it out. It may take a few times. But, don't get impatient or disheartened. Let your body do whatever it needs to do. Let those emotions surface, and just observe them. After a while, you won't be able to hold it back anymore. You'll feel totally empty, raw, and ready. Then, you'll experience the Divine Love. You'll be so filled up, you won't know what to do with yourself. What you think of as "you" won't be there anymore anyway. Good luck with it.

My Reply: I've tried it, and it doesn't work for me. Perhaps I have to keep on trying. Throughout this packet, I still go by the assumption that the only real positive experiences, including love, are the positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Since this exercise isn't working for you, then why didn't god just give you Divine Love before your soul arrived here on Earth? That way, you would've had it upon your very birth into this world.

My Reply: Exactly. The same thing applies to other people who are skeptical about the existence of divine love, or unaware of its existence. Why didn't god, or these heavenly beings, just grant them divine love?

Other Person's Response: I don't believe in god, the afterlife, or the paranormal. So, even if you kept on doing that exercise, and managed to obtain this Divine Love, it might just be some everlasting, more profound love you obtained that has nothing to do with god.

My Reply: You could be right.

Other Person's Response: Divine Love is real. Once your heart really opens, you can't turn love off. Even if it would make life easier. In regards to depression, and not feeling love, I was deeply depressed and suicidal for several years. But, I still loved very deeply, which is why I stayed for the sake of others.

It sounds like you have some wound that has made you close your heart in fear. Fear can masquerade as anger, or just disinterest or intellectual belittling of love. It is a great protection mechanism of the ego when one is suffering. But, it ends up cutting the person off from what humans thrive on: connection/intimacy/unity.

Often, if the wound is enough, the heart closes up, and it takes healing the wound to open it again, or finding someone that you love enough that it cracks you open. But, still, you're left working on the wound, or you'll close your heart again.

I'd say 99% of the world's population exists in this sate of the wounded heart. So, love seems transient and fleeting. Truth is, we all need to heal, and, instead, we keep injuring each other and reinforcing each others wounds. The open heart is the natural state, and the wound needs to heal.

My Reply: I don't have any mental wounds that need to be healed. I grew up with a loving mother, have never been abused, and have always been happy. But, for whatever reason, I've never experienced Divine Love. As of now, I'm not happy, since I've had a devastating worry. But, I'm almost fully recovered from it. When I'm all better and happy again, I'll try performing that exercise again to see if I can obtain Divine Love.

Other Person's Response: I believe in Divine Love, as well as all other positive experiences that are divine. All the positive experiences you currently have are the human, emotional ones, since they're all based upon fleeting, positive emotions. But, they're not the everlasting, divine ones.

My Reply: It would be wonderful if I could have these everlasting, divine, positive experiences that are not only more profound and intense than my emotional ones, but are everlasting. But, I've yet to be convinced they actually exist. Also, even if I did obtain them, it's still possible for me to have them mixed in with the emotional ones. They can even be mixed in with negative emotions, which would give me some degree of positive experience, and some degree of negative experience.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you just need to develop as an individual to obtain Divine Love, as well as all other Divine, positive experiences.

My Reply: I'm not sure.

Other Person's Response: If all your miserable struggles were to help you develop as a person, so you could obtain these divine, positive experiences, then I think those struggles were unnecessary, given that there are happy, healthy alternatives to personal growth, learning, and development.

My Reply: Yes. My miserable struggles have never resulted in me obtaining these divine, positive experiences anyway.

Other Person's Response: One person mentioned earlier that there are factors that can prevent you from obtaining Divine Love, as well as all other Divine, positive experiences, such as being too narrow-minded, closed-minded, focusing too much on materialistic science, etc.

My Reply: I can only do my best to obtain them, and I can't promise I'll ever obtain them. That is, providing they even exist. The same idea applies to other people. They can only do their best to improve themselves, and their life's experience. If there are any factors preventing them from obtaining these Divine experiences, then that's just the way it is. They did their best, and that's all they can do.

Other Person's Response: Aren't there scientific materialists out there who claim they've acquired a form of love that's everlasting, and more profound than their emotional love? If so, then they've obtained Divine Love, which means their fixation on materialistic science didn't prevent them from obtaining it.

My Reply: I'm not sure if there are such people.

Other Person's Response: I heard one person say earlier that Divine Love is a form of love that has nothing to do with our thoughts. So, if a person claimed he's able to experience everlasting love with no need for his emotions, and said experience of love was triggered by his loving thoughts, then it wouldn't have been Divine Love.

My Reply: That's right.

Other Person's Response: If you ever do obtain Divine Love, and all other Divine, positive experiences, I think you'll look back, and realize your positive emotions never were the experience of love, or any other positive experience.

My Reply: If you were to have a thought that something is beautiful, and that thought makes you feel beauty, then that's still a beautiful experience. So, that's still a positive experience. That's why I think positive emotions are still positive experiences, and experiences of love. It's just that Divine Love, and the Divine, positive experiences, would be more profound experiences, and they'd be everlasting.

Other Person's Response: If god, the paranormal, and the afterlife do exist, then I wouldn't think that all positive experiences, including love, can only be emotional. There must be an everlasting, divine form of these experiences.

My Reply: Perhaps you're right. But, then again, positive emotions might still be the only way to have positive experiences.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think it would suck having the Divine, positive experiences because it was mentioned earlier that these experiences have nothing to do with our way of thinking (which is conditional). That means a person can't give himself whatever type of Divine, positive experience he wants through his way of thinking.

My Reply: But, at least they're more profound positive experiences that are everlasting.

Other Person's Response: When it comes to our positive feelings, we're the ones who decide what type of positive feeling we wish to give ourselves through our way of thinking. If we, for example, wish to feel beauty in regards to nature, then we'd have the thought that nature is beautiful. But, when it comes to the divine, positive feelings/experiences, these ones are different because it's instead up to god what positive feeling he gives us.

But, god is perfect, which means he knows what positive feelings we're better off feeling. So, if you lost your ability to experience positive feelings, and you needed the divine, positive feelings, then god might not make you feel the drive/motivation to pursue your composing. He might instead make you feel a different positive feeling, since he knows that's what's best for you.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If the most profound feeling of Divine Love is much more profound than the most profound feeling of emotional love, then that says even the most profound, loving thought wouldn't give you the most profound feeling of love. It can only be God's love which can be the most profound feeling of love.

My Reply: Yes. Also, I wonder if there's more profound negative experiences than the ones that come about through our negative emotions. For example, I wonder if the opposite of Divine Love exists, which would be Unholy Hate. This form of hate isn't emotional, is more profound than the emotional form of hate, and is everlasting.

Other Person's Response: If people claim there's an everlasting form of love and hate that's more profound than the emotional form of love and hate, then these people might as well claim there's a form of sexual arousal that's everlasting, and more profound than the emotional version. I think this is unrealistic, and untrue.

My Reply: Perhaps you're right. These people also might as well say there's a form of panic that's everlasting, and more profound than the emotional form of panic. I just don't think that's true. Feelings of panic, sexual arousal, love, joy, hate, etc. have always been known to be fleeting things.

Other Person's Response: It's typical how god gets dragged into the picture when people can't handle their own life, and then blame him. Life is about taking responsibility for your own life. Not about blaming an external circumstance, person, or god. Love is difficult to experience if your vibration is low. Love is a high vibration. Most people are on a low vibration. So, there's a mismatch. Disillusioned, angry, bitter, disappointed, etc. people are on a very low vibration. So, they are very far away from love. You can't demand to feel love because, as long as your vibration is that low, you won't be able to feel it.

You can't demand an external force, person, or situation to make you feel love, since YOU have to do the work to get to a higher vibration. If god were to come down to your low level, he'd have to lower his vibration as well, which means he wouldn't/couldn't be god anymore. It's not the idea we descend further in misery. It's the idea we ascend to a higher vibration. The higher you get, the more love you'll experience. What it means is you have to take responsibility for your life, stop blaming and victimizing, and work on issues. If you're not feeling love, you do have issues. Everyone has issues.

It's just that some aren't bothered by them because they're too positive by nature, or they work on their shit. The same story goes for illnesses. All illnesses are manifested by the person himself, which has been scientifically proven, and it has to do with the Law of Attraction, which has also been scientifically proven. Watch Dr. Bruce Lipton. It, again, has to do with vibration/energy being low. In the end, this manifests in physical illness, and then the weakest part is affected.

As good as all cures are obtained by the power of the mind, by believing something will work, whether it's surgery, medication, or something else, we can cure ourselves. But, that, again, means we have to take responsibility for our lives, and our ailments. Again, watch Bruce Lipton. He explains it beautifully. Or, read his book Biology of Belief. There's no such thing as hereditary diseases either. We've been misinformed. Science is beginning to find out how, Bruce Lipton, a cell biologist, found out decades ago. It's all about energy. So is love, and, if your vibration is low, for whatever reason, you can't feel it.

My Reply: Well, you must remember I'm leaning towards the possibility that love can only be an emotion, and emotions are fleeting things that can be taken away from us. Also, I'm not even sure your claims are true or not in regards to higher, spiritual vibrations existing, and our minds having the ability to heal ourselves. I could read all the material I want to on these topics. But, I'll still remain undecided. I realize I have my own religion, which makes certain mystical claims.

But, I have to remain undecided on said claims. Lastly, I've had many miserable struggles, which I think was pointless suffering that wasted my life away. So, if god, or these heavenly beings, couldn't heal my mind of such suffering, since they'd have to lower their vibrations, which would no longer make them divine entities, then sending me to Earth was a mistake, since Earth is a place where humans are at a low vibration. That means I was allowed to go through all that suffering.

Not only that, but Earth isn't the place to be anyway, since positive emotions are fleeting things. When our souls are in the heavenly realm, where we meet god, and these heavenly beings, we're at a higher vibration, and I think heaven is where we should be anyway. Our souls can enter heaven through drug trips, or when our physical bodies die. But, like I said, I'm undecided on the existence of the soul and afterlife, and whether heavenly and hellish trips people go on are hallucinations or not.

Other Person's Response:

Everyone has issues. It's just that some aren't bothered by them because they're too positive by nature, or they work on their shit.

If god wants us to suffer because he wants us to work on our issues, then what about all those suffering animals that are being abused? They can't work on their issues, and they have no choice but to suffer.

My Reply: Right. Many people say that we shouldn't have a victim mentality (i.e. that we shouldn't have the mindset of being a victim of our circumstances). But, those suffering animals really are a victim of their circumstances.

Other Person's Response: God, and these heavenly beings, are all-knowing and all-powerful. So, I'm quite sure they'd find a way to heal people of their suffering. Yet, they still allow people to suffer. Isn't it said that god already intervenes in the human world? If so, then why doesn't he also heal those in need of suffering?

My Reply: You're right. So, why have they allowed me to suffer (if they even exist)? Also, if our minds do have the ability to heal ourselves, then many people are unaware of this, which means people are allowed to suffer. So, it would've been best if god just healed these people himself. Or, he could've, at least, informed people about the healing ability their minds have, and told them how to utilize the healing power of their minds.

I was ignorant of the mind's healing ability during my miserable struggles, and it would've been wonderful if my mind could've instantly healed itself of all those miserable struggles I've had (especially my recent one, which took the longest to recover from). But, even if I was aware of the mind's healing ability, and I did perform the steps necessary to utilize the healing power of my mind, it might not have worked for me anyway. Like I said, I'm not even sure this healing ability exists in the first place.

Other Person's Response: According to spiritual believers, the mind can heal the body of all illnesses, including aging, and that you just need to have the feeling, and belief, that any illness you have will be healed by your mind, and your mind will heal it. Many skeptics just refuse to accept this idea.

My Reply: I don't know about this. Wouldn't spiritual believers, who believe in this, be immortal? Clearly, they're not immortal, since they grew old, and died like everyone else. They also died from diseases. So, it might really be the case that the skeptics are right. If the skeptics are right, then perhaps they're right about other things, such as that there's no afterlife, we're biological machines with no free will, etc.

Also, there's a popular spiritual believer named "Sadhguru," and another one named "Deepak Chopra." They're convinced of this idea that the mind can heal the body. But, if their minds can heal their bodies of all illnesses, including aging, then why do they look old? If they have illnesses, then why do they have them?

Other Person's Response: I heard that not only does the mind have the ability to heal our bodies, but it can destroy our bodies. Aging is a destructive process of the body, and the only reason why people die from aging is because they believe their bodies age. That belief causes them to age and die.

My Reply: Doesn't it require the person to be spiritually developed (mature) in order for such power of his mind to take effect? If so, then a spiritually undeveloped person, who has a low vibration, wouldn't be able to heal his body through the power of his mind. Likewise, he couldn't destroy his body either through the power of his mind. But, this would imply spiritually undeveloped people never age.

Other Person's Response: If people could never age by believing they won't age, then people, who believe in this power of the mind nonsense, would always look young.

My Reply: You're right.

Other Person's Response: I'll quote something you said earlier, and respond to it:

There are people who struggle with ongoing, clinical depression, which renders them without the ability to love, and these people must live their lives like this. Some depressed people are resistant to treatment. I realize that depressed people do feel positive emotions, including love, on certain occasions. But, it's not much. If the most important thing here on Earth is to love one another, then why is god allowing people to struggle with mental illnesses that take away their ability to love?

Why isn't he using his divine healing powers to make sure that feelings of love remain intact, and can never be taken away? If love is so important to him, then it makes no sense why he isn't doing this. Perhaps god is a liar, and he really doesn't care about love, or all the suffering humanity goes through. Or, maybe, god doesn't exist, and these heavenly trips people go on are nothing more than hallucinations. This would mean these people aren't learning any life lessons from a real god, or real heavenly beings.

The majority of spiritual believers would probably come up with the lame old answer that it's all about karma, and life lessons regarding depression. But, truth be told. Either God isn't real, or he's a ruthless, psychopathic, sadist who takes great delight in the suffering of depressed people who are totally isolated, and disconnected from the world. Ordering such people to love is like telling a blind person to see. Yet, he sits there on his throne, doing what exactly? Watching everything going on from a crystal ball, while crying crocodile tears?

My Reply: I see what you mean.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 7/26)

Other Person's Response: In regards to love, I heard our purpose here on Earth is to grow in love. But, if a person becomes completely devoid of love, due to hardships in his life, such as people mistreating him, then his soul will just vanish after the death of his physical body. That's because some love is needed for the soul to live on. So, if a person has no love at all, he won't reincarnate to further learn and grow, since his soul won't live on to reincarnate into a new body.

My Reply: God, and these heavenly beings, would've already been aware of this since the very beginning, given they're all-knowing beings who can see into the future. That means they would've prevented such a terrible fate by not having those souls, who'd become completely devoid of love on Earth, to be sent to Earth. These souls would've instead remained in heaven, where they can experience all the love and joy they desire. It would be cruel, unloving, and unfair to just have these souls thrown into such a terrible fate.

Other Person's Response: If god, and these heavenly beings, were cruel and unloving, then they wouldn't be alive in the first place because some love would be needed to keep their souls alive.

My Reply: I'm not sure. I don't even know if this claim that unloving souls vanish is a true claim or not.

Other Person's Response: If unloving souls do vanish, then people who lose their ability to love, due to brain damage, mental illnesses, etc., would just die, and their souls wouldn't live on.

My Reply: I hope that's not the case.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, when you have the thought that something is beautiful, worthwhile, or disgusting to you, that's the same thing as saying you have the thought that something matters to you?

My Reply: Yes. Once that thought makes you feel an emotion, that's the moment said thing is beautiful, worthwhile, or disgusting to you (matters to you).

Other Person's Response: You say apathy is no way to live or be an artist. But, if you told an apathetic person that, it wouldn't matter to him anyway.

My Reply: Correct. Still, an apathetic existence is a life devoid of any positive experience.

Other Person's Response: As long as you rely on your emotions to motivate you (to make things matter to you), then you'll always find yourself giving up when you don't feel up to doing anything.

My Reply: That's just the way it's going to be because I have no motivation of my own, and neither am I convinced that we can have a motivation of our own. I think we have to rely on our emotions to motivate us. There was one time I felt very motivated to work out at the gym. I was working out like crazy, since I was having such a good time. But, that feeling of motivation soon wore out, and I was rendered into a completely relaxed mood. I couldn't work out anymore, since I was so relaxed. Physically, I could keep going. But, mentally, I couldn't.

If I had motivation of my own, then I could keep going, regardless of my mood state. People who do keep going, regardless of their mood state, might not be having any motivation of their own, and are doing nothing more than just dragging themselves along. It would be no different than a person forcing himself to get out of bed when he's apathetic, and nothing matters to him. Just because he forced himself out of bed, and did things with his life, doesn't mean he was motivated through his intellect/character. Regardless of how much people claim they have motivation of their own, I can't trust them.

Other Person's Response: You say you have no motivation of your own, and that you must rely on your emotions to motivate you. Actually, you already do have your own motivation, and it would be your emotions. When you have motivational thoughts, and those thoughts make you feel emotions, you experience that motivation. So, you've created your own motivation through your thoughts and emotions, and that's what makes it your own motivation.

My Reply: Yes. But, I'm saying that my mindset alone can't allow me to experience motivation. My mindset has to make me feel emotions in order for me to be motivated.

Other Person's Response: When you say you're in a good or bad mood, is that the same thing as feeling positive or negative emotions?

My Reply: Yes. When I'm in a relaxed mood, I feel a relaxing positive emotion. When I'm in a miserable mood, I feel the negative emotion known as "misery." You get the idea.

Other Person's Response: You said that a person would be having a negative perspective if he had suicidal tendencies, and that this negative perspective would be a negative emotion the person is feeling. But, there are apathetic, and even happy people, who have suicidal tendencies. So, wouldn't they be having a negative perspective as well? I'd personally call that a negative perspective because it's simply not a good tendency to have.

My Reply: As for the happy people with suicidal tendencies, they'd have the thought that their act of suicide is good or beautiful, that thought would make them feel that way about it, and they'd experience it that way. So, the very fact it's a good or beautiful experience for them still means it's a positive experience for them. Thus, they're still having a positive perspective regarding their act of suicide.

For someone like you, you might be having a negative perspective regarding their suicide. Also, it would make no sense to say these happy, suicidal people are having a negative perspective regarding their suicide, when they're really having a positive perspective. It's like calling a person's feeling of hunger thirst, when it's not. You'd be putting the wrong label on that person's experience. It would also be like calling the chemical compound H20 some other type of chemical compound, such as CH4.

Other Person's Response: I agree. When something is a beautiful experience for someone, it would make no sense to say that thing is a horrible experience for that person. You'd be putting the wrong label on that person's experience.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: When apathetic people have suicidal tendencies, you're saying they wouldn't have the motivation to commit suicide, and that they'd be having an apathetic perspective regarding their suicide?

My Reply: Yes. But, they can still choose to commit suicide anyway because, like I said, you can still perform certain acts, gestures, and expressions, regardless of what type of experience you're having. For example, a completely apathetic person can still drag himself out of bed, regardless if it has no value or worth to him.

Other Person's Response: There are people who are happy about other things in their lives, have suicidal tendencies, but said thoughts of suicide don't cause them to feel any emotion at the moment, since they're feeling happy or excited about something else.

My Reply: Yes. So, that means they'd be experiencing something else in their lives as amazing or beautiful, since they feel happy about that particular thing or situation, while they'd be apathetic regarding their suicide, since they don't feel anything about it at the moment. So, you can be happy or sad in regards to one thing, and be apathetic towards another thing.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy justifies the acts of criminals, since your philosophy says it would be a good thing for a criminal to commit a crime if he felt good about doing it.

My Reply: I don't have any sinister intentions when writing and sharing my philosophy. This has just been my personal experience, and my personal experience says positive emotions are the only things that make life good and beautiful.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy is just switching things from thoughts and beliefs over to emotions. It's assumed that, if a person has the thought, or belief, that something is beautiful or disgusting, that this thought, or belief, is all that's needed to make said thing beautiful or disgusting from that person's perspective. But, your philosophy says it can only be the emotions these thoughts, or beliefs, make a person feel that allow things to be beautiful or disgusting from that person's perspective.

So, I don't think your philosophy changes things all that much, and I don't see how it's an immoral philosophy. I mean, if a psychopath harmed living things, then other people, who have thoughts of disgust about that deed, would just need to feel disgust in order for that deed to be disgusting to them. So, your philosophy just slightly changes things, and that's all it really does. Your philosophy isn't like the types of immoral philosophies that exist, such as Hitler's philosophy.

My Reply: Exactly. It's not like my philosophy says something, such as that certain innocent people are inferior, and need to be eradicated.

Other Person's Response: If any ordinary person just had a random, unwanted thought that came to him, such as that harming living things would be a beautiful thing, wouldn't that thought make him feel beauty about that?

My Reply: I think it has to be a genuine thought, and not just some random thought. So, genuine thoughts are what make us feel emotions (providing there's no factor, preventing genuine thoughts from making us feel emotions, such as certain mental illnesses). So, someone like a psychopath would have the genuine thought that it's a beautiful thing to harm living things, and that's why he'd feel beauty about that. But, ordinary people wouldn't have such genuine thoughts, which is why they wouldn't feel that way.

Other Person's Response: If the thought that harming living things was an unwanted thought in a person's mind, then he had the genuine thought that this harmful thought was unwanted, which would cause him to feel that it's unwanted.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If I was apathetic (emotionless), then I could still have an enlightened perspective, such as realizing a certain truth. That enlightened perspective would be an enlightening experience for me. But, it wouldn't be an emotion. Given this, why couldn't I also have a positive perspective/experience without my emotions?

My Reply: Well, that's a difference scenario because we can have certain experiences without our emotions, such as realizing certain truths, experiencing the delusions of a madman, having the intellectual experience of solving puzzles, etc. But, to have a positive perspective/experience, that can only be a positive emotion.

Other Person's Response: Is having a positive perspective the same thing as saying you're caring about someone or something in a positive way, a negative perspective being caring about someone or something in a negative way, and apathy being not caring about anything or anyone at all?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If a person had no motivation, he'd be apathetic, and I agree you can't have a positive or negative perspective when you're apathetic. So, a positive or negative perspective has to be a form of motivation, and that form of motivation would be our emotions.

My Reply: Correct. Emotions are a form of motivation, and you can't experience motivation when you don't feel motivated. So, feeling a positive or negative emotion=experiencing a positive or negative motivation=caring about someone or something in a positive or negative way=experiencing a positive or negative perspective.

Other Person's Response: You say having a positive perspective on life is important, since it's a vital and precious experience to have. I agree. But, positive perspectives don't always tell us the truth. For example, you could hear a pet make a certain noise, which reminds you of a certain Pokemon, and you perceive that pet as a beautiful Pokemon. Well, that pet wouldn't be a Pokemon. Neither on the outside, nor on the inside, since the pet doesn't look like a Pokemon, and neither does it have the personality of a Pokemon. Another example would be that you could see a certain situation as beautiful and worth pursuing, when it's really a horrible, dangerous situation that should be avoided. As you can see, our perspectives can sometimes be irrational, regardless if they're positive, negative, or apathetic.

My Reply: But, the whole point of life is to have positive perspectives to color our world in beauty, love, joy, and worth. However, I do agree that having a positive perspective that would benefit yourself, others, and keep yourself and others out of danger, should be preferred over ones that put yourself and others at risk.

Other Person's Response: If a person felt mentally fatigue, then he'd be experiencing mental fatigue. Thus, he'd perceive his world from a fatigue perspective.

My Reply: Yes. The same idea applies to emotions. When a person feels beauty, he's experiencing beauty, which means he perceives something as beautiful.

Other Person's Response: If emotions weren't triggered by thoughts of value or worth, and were triggered by other means, you're saying these emotions wouldn't be perceptions of value or worth?

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: You say that, since emotions make things matter to us, then they're how we love and how things have value and worth to us. But, then you say there are situations where emotions aren't the source of love and value. I'm confused. If emotions make things matter to us, then wouldn't they always be the source of value and love?

My Reply: Not always. In order to love someone, and in order for that person to have value and worth to you, then that person must matter to you. But, someone or something can matter to you, but not have any value and worth to you. Someone or something can also matter to you, but you don't love that said person or thing.

Other Person's Response: Are there other negative emotions you felt that didn't make anything in your life bad or horrible?

My Reply: Yes, and it would be a feeling of anxiety. The reason why the feeling of anxiety was nothing more than just a feeling was because the thought information that got converted into emotional form was nothing more than just an anxious thought. But, if I had the thought of something horrible, and that made me feel anxious, then I'm quite sure that feeling of anxiety would now be a horrible experience in my life.

Other Person's Response: Was there ever a positive emotion you felt that was a bad or horrible experience for you?

My Reply: No. Only my negative emotions can give me such an experience.

Other Person's Response: I see you're a hedonist who lives for happiness and joy. Different brains are wired differently. Some people love pain, some love pleasure, some love spicy foods, and some hate those mentioned things.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Since you said earlier that thoughts of beauty, horror, etc. take on an emotional form when they make us feel emotions, that means I could have a certain thought in regards to something, such as a flashlight. I could think to myself that this flashlight is artificial and beautiful. Once that thought triggers a positive emotion, I'd experience an artificial form of beauty in regards to that flashlight. Thus, the flashlight becomes artificially beautiful from my perspective. But, if another person believed the flashlight was mystical, rather than artificial, then that would cause him to experience a mystical form of beauty in regards to the flashlight, once that belief triggers a positive emotion.

My Reply: Correct. You can only experience those forms of beauty through positive emotions, and an artificial form of beauty is like a mechanical form of beauty, such as a beautiful battery, or robot, while a mystical form of beauty would be something, such as a beautiful fairy, or magical item.

Other Person's Response: Even if your philosophy was true, and nothing could have any value and worth to me without my positive emotions, I'd still live life anyway, just for the sake of living. I'd be there for my family, and wouldn't give up on my goals and dreams.

My Reply: Well, that would be no way to live, and such a way of life would be unacceptable. So, I think positive emotions are absolutely necessary.

Other Person's Response: While I'm on the topic of your packets, you've written all of these packets during your miserable struggles, which were triggered by negative thoughts and worries. If you could do all of that without your positive emotions, then you could have learned to compose, too. So, you shouldn't have given up composing, just because you didn't feel joy in doing it.

My Reply: When I do my favorite hobbies, such as playing video games, or learning to compose, I can't stand not having my positive emotions. I'll wait patiently for my positive emotions to return though. But, I'm not fine living most or my entire life without my positive emotions. In other words, my positive emotions have to return back to me within a reasonable time frame.

That, or my life must change for the better within a reasonable time frame, such as 1-2 years. I was willing to wait about 3 years to fully recover from this recent emotional crisis, as well as all my other miserable moments. This is because I knew I was recovering from them. But, in the event I lose my positive emotions, and notice I'm not recovering, that's when something needs to change within a reasonable time frame.

Other Person's Response: Imagine if someone said: "I acted like she was beautiful, and I had the thought in my mind she was beautiful to me. But, in reality, she wasn't beautiful to me." Another person might reply: "Well, you just need to change your mindset. Only then will she be beautiful to you." But, you're saying that his change of mindset wouldn't allow her to be beautiful to him, and that it can only be his feeling of beauty (a positive emotion) that can allow her to be beautiful to him?

My Reply: Yes. As long as he doesn't feel beautiful about her, due to a mental illness or other factor preventing him from feeling that way, then it's like he's still in the same scenario as before, regardless of his mindset.

Other Person's Response: You're wrong. Positive emotions are such trivial things. There are far more important things in life.

My Reply: I don't agree. Our emotions create our whole entire mental atmosphere, whether that atmosphere be something beautiful, joyful, hell, horrible, loving, or disgusting. During my worst miserable moments, I was there physically with my family. But, mentally, I was not. I was in complete darkness, completely separated from all beauty and joy. But, the moment I fully recovered from these miserable moments is the moment all the beauty and joy returned. So, mentally, it was like I was brought back home with my family again. That's how powerful and profound emotions are. They can either make your life a living hell, or a living paradise.

Other Person's Response: My emotions don't make me suffer, or make my life a living hell. It's what I think that does.

My Reply: How we suffer is when we experience horror, tragedy, misery, or despair. Since negative emotions are that experience, then negative emotions are how we suffer. Buddhists talk about suffering, how it's no good, and how it should be avoided. Since negative emotions are suffering, then they're no good and should be avoided.

Other Person's Response: Our emotions do not create our atmosphere. We create our own atmosphere.

My Reply: I don't think we do. We as human beings are like the paintbrush, and our emotions are the colors. Without the colors (emotions), then just using a paintbrush alone will not color our lives. We paint our lives through our ways of thinking. But, we need the colors to do so. In addition, our emotions not only color our world, but they also color our very being. They make us beautiful, horrible, morbid, tragic, or disgusting people.

Other Person's Response: I see what you're saying when you say people need to focus more on their inner experience. So many people focus on the outside, and not the inside. You already gave an example of this earlier when you said people would be judging by your actions, gestures, and tones that your life is still beautiful and worthwhile without your positive emotions. But, they wouldn't be realizing your inner experience. I think these people are doing the same thing to themselves. They're judging by their actions, gestures, and tones that their lives are still beautiful and worthwhile without their positive emotions. But, they wouldn't be realizing their inner experience.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: When a depressed person tells you he's not happy, regardless of his actions, tones, and gestures, he already realizes his own inner experience. So, if he tells you things are still beautiful, good, and worthwhile to him without his positive emotions, he'd still be realizing his inner experience, which means what he's saying is true. So, there must be more beauty, goodness, and worth to life than positive emotions.

My Reply: I just can't be too sure yet if there is more beauty and worth to life than positive emotions. Even though that depressed person realizes he's not happy, he could still be in denial when it comes to beauty, goodness, and worth. People would say things, such as that love, beauty, goodness, and worth are far more important than happiness. Since they're so important, then maybe people are in denial, and refuse to accept that positive emotions are the only real source of those things.

Other Person's Response: People, without their positive emotions, don't need to look within to know if they're experiencing beauty, love, or joy. If they claim their lives are beautiful, or that they're experiencing love and joy in the absence of their positive emotions, then they already are experiencing love, joy, and a beautiful life.

My Reply: It doesn't matter. These people could still be in denial of their experience when they claim that there's more beauty, love, and joy than positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: I have a mental illness that renders me with the inability to feel emotions. I just go through my day, feeling apathetic. Even though I display a flat expression, I can assure you that being there for my family, and contributing to the world, matters to me. It's something truly experienced as beautiful in my life.

My Reply: The very fact that you display a flat expression is enough, right there, to say none of it matters to you because, if it truly mattered to you, you'd display a motivated expression. Remember what I said before. I said, when you are motivated, that's the same thing as something mattering to you. So, you're delusional and in denial. You believe your mindset is enough to make things matter to you, and give you beautiful experiences.

At this point, you might change your expression to a motivated one, and claim things matter to you now. But, your expression wouldn't match your mental state. You'd still be flat on the inside, which means nothing matters to you, and you'd be doing nothing more than forcing expressions that don't express your inner apathy.

Other Person's Response: So, you're basically saying that people, without their positive emotions, are doing positive things with their lives, and are convinced they're having an inner positive experience, when they're really not?

My Reply: Correct. People might claim they've honed into their inner self, and that they're having a true, inner, positive experience, with no need for their positive emotions. But, I think they're just deluding themselves.

Other Person's Response: I personally think depressed, miserable people, who display positive tones and expressions, are truly expressing their mental state. There are famous, genius artists who struggled with depression, and contributed works of art to the world. I think it's naive to say they were just dragging themselves through life, or "just getting things done."

My Reply: Well, I don't agree. I think these tones and expressions have become so natural to them that they're falsely convinced they express their mental state. If a miserable, unhappy person smiled much of his life, he might be convinced he's happy, when he's really not. So, I think people just get so used to their misery, depression, or apathy, that they eventually delude themselves into thinking they're having a positive experience in life, when they're not.

Another example would be Buddhists. They claim another form of happiness exists besides positive emotions. Through their practice and meditation, they will claim they've acquired this form of happiness. But, I don't think such happiness exists. I think positive emotions are the only way to be happy, and other people are just deluding themselves.

Other Person's Response: Since you've had very horrible experiences through your struggles, I agree people shouldn't judge by your behavior, and conclude your experiences aren't all that bad.

My Reply: Yes. A person can act normal, but have much inner suffering and turmoil. Also, if I told other people I've had emotional traumas and miserable moments, some people would treat it in a casual manner and say something, such as:

"Well, that's completely normal. It's a normal, human experience, and we all have horrible moments."

But, what these people don't realize is just how abnormal of an experience this was for me. They are judging it as normal, when it wasn't. For example, those crippled nightmares I talk about were far from normal experiences. People will never know just how horrible these experiences were, since people have their experiences, and I have my own. Thus, only I know just how horrible they were.

Other Person's Response: You describe those horrible states in your nightmares as crippled states. What do you mean by that?

My Reply: They were very horrible, unhealthy states. Thus, I'd describe them as ill, or crippled states. If a person was very sick, then he'd be in a very ill, or crippled, physical condition. The mind can also get ill. So, during my miserable struggles, I wasn't well mentally. Thus, my life's experience became very horrible and ill/unhealthy.

Other Person's Response: Were those crippled states in your nightmares powerful experiences for you?

My Reply: Yes. They were powerful, altered states, completely different than the crippled states of my waking life. They were far more horrible experiences than the ones in my waking life.

Other Person's Response: What do you mean when you say the crippled states in your nightmares were completely different than the ones in your waking life?

My Reply: I mean they were whole new experiences.

Other Person's Response: Were the crippled states of your waking life normal, healthy experiences compared to the ones in your nightmares?

My Reply: Yes. Even though the crippled states of my waking life weren't normal, healthy experiences, if you were to compare them to the ones I've had in my nightmares, then they'd be normal, healthy experiences in comparison.

Other Person's Response: Just how horrible and abnormal were these crippled nightmare states for you?

My Reply: There's a normal feeling of physical ailment, such as feeling ill from the flu. The miserable, crippled states of my waking life would be akin to feeling very ill from the flu. But, if you felt deathly ill, then that's something much worse, and not normal. The crippled states in my nightmares would be akin to feeling deathly ill.

Other Person's Response: Those crippled nightmare states wouldn't have made you deathly ill though.

My Reply: You're right. But, they were still very horrible experiences.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy though, feeling physically ill is just a feeling, and doesn't give us any horrible, tragic, or disturbing experience. It can only be negative emotions that give us those experiences.

My Reply: Yes. Those crippled states I've had were literally horrible experiences, while feeling physically ill wouldn't be a horrible experience.

Other Person's Response: Can those crippled nightmare states be described as horrible feelings, or horrible moods?

My Reply: That just doesn't describe them because they were profound, powerful, altered states.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your miserable struggles, which you say were horribly unnatural experiences for you, it would've been thoughts of certain situations being horribly unnatural that gave you horribly unnatural experiences.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I heard you've had some powerful, profound experiences in your nightmares (which were those horrible, crippled, mental states). If you ever obtained a Divine, positive experience (such as Divine Love, which was discussed earlier), do you think it can be a positive experience that's just as powerful and profound as those horrible, crippled states?

My Reply: It's impossible to imagine acquiring such a powerful, profound, positive experience in my normal, daily life. But, if I had a very powerful drug trip, where I had the most amazing, heavenly experience of my life, then it could be possible for me to have a positive experience that's just as powerful and profound as those crippled states.

Other Person's Response: There were horrible thoughts and worries that caused your misery, and that's why your misery was literally a horrible experience for you. That even includes the crippled states in your nightmares, since there were horrible subconscious thoughts and worries triggering them.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You could depict how horrible those crippled nightmare states were through a work of art. Some people depict horrible forms of suffering through artwork.

My Reply: I don't think any anime or work of art can depict how horrible they were for me. This was a whole new experience, and something on a whole new level. No dungeons, dragons, or pits of hell can depict it. Besides, I wouldn't want to create such artwork if I was an artist. I'd want to create things that convey awesome emotions. I don't want to express negative emotions, such as misery and agony.

Other Person's Response: You say you don't want to express negative emotions through art. But, what if doing so made you feel happy?

My Reply: Then I'd do it.

Other Person's Response: You say that your melodies are awesome, which means you'd have to perceive them as awesome, and you've been saying your melodies are awesome, even without your positive emotions. So, I disagree with your philosophy, which says that positive emotions are the only way to perceive moments, things, and situations as awesome.

My Reply: I realized I said there were positive emotions I felt during my miserable struggles that I could detect, and that there were many moments during these struggles where I didn't feel any positive emotion. But, perhaps there were positive emotions I've felt during those latter moments, and they were just so small in intensity that I couldn't detect them. This would've allowed me to perceive my melodies as awesome at an extremely low intensity. But, feeling positive emotions at this intensity level would only allow me to have positive experiences so small that I can't detect them. It's nowhere near the sufficient level I need.

Other Person's Response: So, perceiving beauty and greatness, at a higher intensity than what you'd have during your miserable struggles, would give you the great and beautiful experiences you need?

My Reply: Yes. When my misery is gone, and my full capacity to feel positive emotions is restored, I'm able to have the awesome, beautiful, good, worthwhile experiences I need in my life.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps your mindset alone can allow you to perceive beauty, horror, etc. in the absence of your emotions. For example, if you still think that something is beautiful in the absence of your positive emotions, you'd still be able to perceive said thing as beautiful. But, it would be a perception that's at an intensity level so small that you can't detect it. It's only once your thought of beauty makes you feel beauty that you'd be perceiving beauty at a much higher intensity level, since that feeling of beauty is an intense perception of beauty. So, emotions give us the intense perception of beauty, horror, etc. we need, while our mindset alone can only give us an extremely small level of that perception.

My Reply: You could be right, and drugs would certainly enhance this, since they allow you to feel positive emotions at an extreme intensity, far greater than what you could achieve normally. The more intense of a beautiful experience you have, the better your life is. That's why I say taking drugs would bring your life the best experiences you could have. That is, if you don't have any bad trips from taking drugs. If you have bad trips, then any negative thought you have during the trip would make you feel negative emotions at an extreme intensity, which would give you an extreme experience of horror, tragedy, etc.

Other Person's Response: I can see why your mindset alone wouldn't give you a sufficient experience of beauty, love, or worth in your life, since it can only give you an extremely small level of that experience. You'd need your positive emotions to have the sufficient level of that experience.

My Reply: Yes. In order to have a sufficient positive experience, I'd need my positive emotions. Not only do I need my positive emotions, but they must also be at a sufficient intensity level because, if I'm only feeling positive emotions at a low intensity, then that's still not giving me the sufficient positive experiences I need.

Other Person's Response: Given that you're able to still determine whether certain things are good, bad, beautiful, or disgusting in the absence of your emotions, this must mean you can perceive things as good, bad, beautiful, or disgusting in the absence of your emotions because, without that perception, then you wouldn't be able to make such assessments/determinations.

My Reply: If this is really the case, then, like I said, our mindset alone can only give us an extremely small level of that perception. It's the emotions which give us a much more intense level of that perception.

Other Person's Response: If your mindset alone can give you a beautiful experience, and said experience is just so small in intensity, that you can't detect it, then perhaps there's a way to increase that intensity. That way, you'll no longer require positive emotions to give you an intense experience of beauty, when you can have this intense experience through your mindset alone. Perhaps developing yourself as an individual would achieve this, since it's giving you, the individual, a more intense, beautiful experience.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's possible.

Other Person's Response: You say that, during your miserable struggles (which were induced by negative thoughts and worries), works of art were dead and meaningless to you. That means you perceived them as dead and meaningless. But, if a feeling of misery wore off for a moment, then that would allow you to perceive them as beautiful through your mindset alone (providing that your mindset alone can give you a perception of beauty). From there, if that thought/mindset made you feel beauty, then that would give you a greater perception of beauty during a brief moment of your miserable struggles.

My Reply: Yes. During my miserable struggles, I had few, brief moments of feeling positive emotions, which were actually mixed in with my misery. So, it was a mixed emotional experience for me. But, during this recent miserable struggle, my positive emotions were completely shut off, since this was the absolute worst of all my miserable struggles.

Other Person's Response: I think your perception of great and beautiful works of art being morbidly meaningless during your miserable struggles is an irrational perception, since these works of art meet the technical qualifications to be meaningful, great, and beautiful. Yet, you'd be perceiving them as nothing great, beautiful, or meaningful.

My Reply: I couldn't help but have these morbid thoughts and feelings during my miserable struggles. It was something I couldn't control.

Other Person's Response: Buddhism is all about giving up our selfish desires, and Buddhists say the self doesn't exist. It's an illusion. Therefore, there's no reason for you to be concerned about your own happiness, or whether your life is beautiful and worth living, since that's focusing on your self, which doesn't exist.

My Reply: I would address my own self as "I," such as if I said: "I want to drink something." If I addressed the self of another person, then I'd say: "Did you want to drink something?" But, if I am to treat myself as though I don't exist, then I might as well treat other human beings as though they don't exist. I might as well not even address them. It's absurd to regard my own self as though it doesn't exist, just as how it's absurd to regard other people as though they don't exist. So, I still have every reason to have selfish desires.

Other Person's Response: Speaking of selfishness, have you ever felt happy about giving to others, rather than just from getting the things you want?

My Reply: Yes, which means I had thoughts that giving to others was something good and worthwhile. That thought made me feel happy, which allowed me to experience that moment as good and worthwhile.

Other Person's Response: I heard, from spiritual believers, that we are eternal, spiritual beings who are connected, and that we have a higher self that transcends the ego.

My Reply: I'm undecided on controversial topics, and what you just said is controversial. So, I'm undecided on that.

Other Person's Response: I think negative emotions do make our lives worthwhile, since they do motivate us.

My Reply: Negative emotions only make our lives worth living for in a negative way. Let me give an example. If you were in a dangerous situation, where you felt the negative emotion known as fear, that panic would allow you to perceive that situation as being bad. We'd also say this feeling of panic allows you to perceive it as being worthwhile to escape.

But, we wouldn't say that, just because the panic allows you to perceive it as worthwhile to escape, that it allows you to perceive it as being a good thing to escape. In order to perceive it as being a good or beautiful thing to escape, then you'd need to feel a positive emotion. Let me give one last example here. If someone felt angry, and said in a violent (negative) tone of voice:

"It's worth it to punch that guy's face!"

Then this would be an example of a negative form of worth. That angry person's life wouldn't be anything beautiful, or good, during his moment of unhappiness. But, he still perceives it as being worthwhile to punch that guy's face in. For anyone else to display a positive tone of voice, and tell that angry person:

"Hey, at least your life was something worthwhile because punching that guy's face was something worth doing!"

Then that would be the wrong attitude to have, since such an attitude implies that this was something positive (good/beautiful) in that angry person's life, when it wasn't. Now, if this person felt happy to punch that guy's face in, then this would be an example of a positive form of worth. Therefore, the quote above, expressed in a positive attitude, would apply.

Other Person's Response: So, even though negative emotions do make things worthwhile for us, since they do motivate us to do certain things, it's still no way to live or be an artist without positive emotions?

My Reply: Correct. That all goes back to my example with the angry, miserable customer. Sure, it might've been worthwhile in his eyes to throw something on the floor out of misery and rage. But, that customer was having nothing but a negative experience, which is why a life without positive emotions is no way to live or be an artist.

Life's like a party, which means we need to have the positive experiences. If you were at a party, and it was nothing but a miserable, unhappy moment for you, then that was no party for you, since the party has been spoiled and ruined for you. Likewise, if you live a miserable, unhappy life, then that's no life either, since your life has been spoiled and ruined for you.

Other Person's Response: In order for a feeling of panic to be a perception of a certain thing or situation being bad, that feeling of panic would have to be triggered by a thought of a certain thing or situation being bad, wouldn't it?

My Reply: Yes.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 8/26)

Other Person's Response: A miserable, or unhappy composer, who composes, is the truly great composer who's living the truly beautiful life. You're wrong about this whole idea that positive emotions are the only beautiful way to be a composer.

My Reply: I think it's a joke to somehow think that would be a beautiful way of life and being an artist.

Other Person's Response: To me, it's a joke for someone to believe that positive emotions are the only beautiful things in life, and that this is the only thing an artist has to rely on to make his artistic endeavors something positive.

My Reply: You have your way of seeing things, and I have my way of seeing things. Let's just leave it at that.

Other Person's Response: What icon would you use to symbolize your worldview?

My Reply: It would be a wild, mystical animal with mystical energy surrounding it. This is because positive emotions are wild and free. They're also mystical because they're the Divine Light within us. Since I love anime and cartoons, then I could use a Pokemon as the icon. I'm also going to use another icon.

I'd be a fruit in a tropical paradise, since that symbolizes something beautiful, joyful, natural, wild, and free of misery and unhappiness. I'm not the image of the intellect, fighter, or warrior who just carries on in a life of misery and unhappiness. For example, I wouldn't be the image of a miserable, unhappy composer still carrying on, and accomplishing his musical dream.

Other Person's Response: If positive emotions were the only things that could make life beautiful, that would be a meaningless existence.

My Reply: If positive emotions are what make life beautiful, then they're what make life meaningful. It's a contradiction to say that one's life is beautiful and meaningless.

Other Person's Response: If positive emotions were the only things that could make things good and beautiful, then we wouldn't have a functioning society.

My Reply: Now, we do have a functioning society, despite the fact that positive emotions are the only things that make life good and beautiful. This is because of their ignorance and denial of the real truth. For example, if a loved one was going to die of cancer, but the parents of this terminal patient were in denial of this truth, then that denial would keep the parents functioning and living their lives to the fullest. But, knowing the real truth might be devastating, and have other negative impacts. It might cause the parents to become dysfunctional in life.

Other Person's Response: If positive emotions were the only things that make life good and beautiful, then it might as well be a good thing to get drunk and fall off a building if we felt a positive emotion from that.

My Reply: It would be good from the perspective of whoever felt good about that.

Other Person's Response: Surely, there must be more to life than positive emotions.

My Reply: Unlike the commonly held notion of finding value in our lives through intellect and strength of character, I think life was all about basking and bathing in a sea of peaceful, beautiful, joyful emotions. So, instead of looking at something and thinking to yourself that it's beautiful, despite your feelings of misery or unhappiness, it was all about feeling positive emotions about that thing, and just losing yourself in that emotional state. You just let that emotion take you away on a beautiful journey, so to speak.

Other Person's Response: Without the bad, there could be no good, and, without suffering, there can be no joy.

My Reply: If that's the case, then only a little bit of bad and suffering would be needed for good and joy to exist. That means only a little bit of suffering in my life would be needed, and not all those horrible, miserable moments I've been through.

Other Person's Response: Without unhappiness, there can be no happiness.

My Reply: Well, can a person still have the experience of sight, never having experienced blindness, and can a person still hear, never having been deaf? Of course. That means the experience of happiness can still exist, even if no unhappiness has ever been experienced. The same idea applies to love, beauty, goodness, and worth. Those things can still exist, even if the opposite never existed. That means there's no need for bad, disgust, hate, etc.

Other Person's Response: But, if you've suffered much misery throughout your life, then that should give you a more profound joy, once said misery is all gone. That's because you'd no longer take joy for granted, and, thus, it becomes a more profound experience for you now.

My Reply: Actually, I don't think I've gained a more profound joy, having been through all those miserable struggles. I just find myself back to my usual, casual, happy self.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend a baby was born without any physical pain or negative emotions. That baby would still be able to feel physical pleasure, and he'd still be able to feel positive emotions, such as love and joy. That shows love, joy, and physical pleasure can exist, even when no hate, unhappiness, or physical pain has ever been experienced. So, the experience of peace and happiness can exist, even when no suffering has ever been experienced.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Since sight can exist without blindness, and since hearing can exist without deafness, then you're saying positive experiences can exist without negative ones, or apathy?

My Reply: Yes. One can know positivity without negativity, just as how one can know sight and hearing without blindness and deafness.

Other Person's Response: In regards to emotions, if I felt sad, and acted out on that emotion, I'd display acts of sadness. If I felt rage, and acted out on that emotion, I'd display acts of rage. If I felt like I was a certain awesome character (such as Superman), and I acted out on that emotion, then I'd act like Superman.

My Reply: Yes. Emotions are like alter egos. That means, if you were a guy, and you felt like you were a certain female character, you'd act like her, if you acted out on that emotion.

Other Person's Response: If you had the choice, would you choose to feel rage or fear?

My Reply: I'd choose fear because rage puts me at risk of harming myself or someone else. Having a fear of someone would simply render me backing away from that person, while feeling rage towards that person would put me at risk of harming that person. That would get me in trouble. But, fear wouldn't get me in such trouble.

Other Person's Response: You say in this packet that, during an emotional crisis, the slightest things make you feel negative emotions, and it's these negative emotions which make things bother you. So, if someone name called you during your emotional crisis, such as him saying you're a disgusting piece of shit, would you automatically feel that way about yourself?

My Reply: Yes, and I can't help but feel that way during an emotional crisis. But, when I fully recover from an emotional crisis, I rise above their name calling and mistreatment, since it can no longer get to me, or define me.

Other Person's Response: But, you say you still feel fear, even when you're fully recovered from an emotional crisis. So, if someone displayed a potentially threatening attitude towards you, that would cause you to feel fear.

My Reply: Yes. But, I wouldn't feel angry, disgust, misery, etc. Those are emotions I only have during an emotional crisis, such as during this devastating worry I've had, which I talk about throughout this packet.

Other Person's Response: There are dangerous, badass characters in movies who feel negative emotions much of the time, such as feelings of fear and rage. Even Rocky Balboa felt fear during his boxing matches.

My Reply: If you're going to be a dangerous, badass character, then it's best to feel positive emotions, such as feeling awesome and magnificent. Like I said, it's best to have positive experiences, and not negative ones.

Other Person's Response: You always talk about how we just need positive emotions. I think we need both our intellect, and our positive emotions.

My Reply: Yes. After all, it's thinking positive that gives you positive experiences (positive emotions). Also, when making a decision, you'd need to use your intellect. But, at the same time, you'd need to feel positive emotions when making this decision, since it would allow you to experience the decision making process as something positive.

Other Person's Response: When you say that an apathetic person's life has no beauty or goodness without his positive emotions, is that the same thing as saying nothing can be important to him?

My Reply: Correct. He'd just have the idea that things are important to him, when they're really not. Negative emotions do make things important to us. But, in a negative way. Positive emotions make things important to us in positive ways. Apathy is where nothing is important to us one way or the other.

Other Person's Response: Sad, morbid, annoying, tragic, superb, and wonderful are value judgments, aren't they?

My Reply: Yes. That means emotions are the only real source of those things, too.

Other Person's Response: Perceiving value isn't the same thing as valuing something.

My Reply: When you judge something as beautiful, that's no different than valuing that thing as beautiful, and vice versa. Now, judging something as beautiful is the same thing as perceiving that thing as beautiful. This means judging something as beautiful, perceiving something as beautiful, and valuing something as beautiful is all the same thing. I should also add in experiencing something as beautiful.

Other Person's Response: I'm still not convinced that perceiving value is the same thing as valuing something.

My Reply: Let me put it this way for you then. When you value something as beautiful, that is a mental state, and mental states are experiences. Therefore, when you value something as beautiful, that's the same thing as experiencing beauty. Experiencing beauty is then the same thing as perceiving beauty which, in turn, is the same thing as judging something as beautiful.

Other Person's Response: Nope. Still not convincing me!

My Reply: When a person says he sees no value in life, that's the same thing as saying he doesn't value life. Personally, it makes no sense to me how someone could think that a person, who sees no value in anything, can value something. You need to see (perceive) value in regards to something in order to value that thing. Since emotions are perceptions of value, then emotions are how we value things.

Other Person's Response: So, when a person sees no beauty in life, that's the same thing as saying life isn't beautiful to him?

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: You said that the only way a person's life can be beautiful and worth living to him is if he experiences it as beautiful and worth living. Since perception and experience are the same thing, then perceiving one's life as beautiful and worth living is the only way to make it beautiful and worth living to him/her.

My Reply: Correct. A person's perception (experience) is everything. It determines whether one's life is a horrible hell or a beautiful paradise. That's why positive emotions are everything, since they're how we perceive things in our lives as beautiful and worth living for.

Other Person's Response: You're saying thoughts and beliefs must impact us in beautiful or horrific ways to give us the experience of beauty and horror. You're saying emotions are how thoughts and beliefs impact our lives, and not the thoughts and beliefs themselves.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: Some people would say that thoughts and beliefs themselves allow us to perceive, but not experience things, like beauty, good, bad, horror, disgust, etc. It can only be our emotions which allow us to experience those things.

My Reply: Since perception and experience are the same thing, and since thoughts and beliefs themselves do not allow us to experience any of those things you've mentioned, that means they also don't allow us to perceive any of those things.

Other Person's Response: If you think a certain smell (such as the smell of a skunk) is unpleasant, then the smell literally becomes an unpleasant smell for you. If you think it's pleasant, then it literally becomes pleasant for you. Those thoughts literally transform the scent into a pleasant or unpleasant scent for you. The same idea applies to your emotions. By thinking your emotions are literally beautiful or horrible experiences, you transform them into beautiful or horrible experiences for yourself.

My Reply: I think emotions really are beautiful and horrible experiences. I don't think it's just our thoughts creating our personal experience here.

Other Person's Response: If the only way to like something is to feel a positive emotion about it, then is the only way to dislike something would be to feel a negative emotion about it?

My Reply: Yes. But, having no emotions would render you in a position where you could neither like nor dislike.

Other Person's Response: Telling depressed people their lives are nothing beautiful without their positive emotions might drive them to suicide.

My Reply: My intention isn't to drive depressed or miserable people to suicide though. I wish to express and share my personal views. But, at the same time, I don't want to be driving people to suicide in doing so. Even if I was happy and enjoying my life, I'd still feel bad if I drove someone to suicide. Maybe it's best if I just share my views to mental health professionals and therapists, rather than struggling, depressed people. If there are struggling people who can handle my views, then I'll share them to these people.

Other Person's Response: I want you to destroy this idea that depressed or miserable people's lives aren't beautiful without their positive emotions. Their lives are still beautiful because they're precious human beings.

My Reply: Like I said before. Nothing will destroy this idea except a new personal experience that convinces me.

Other Person's Response: Clinical depression is not an emotional state or a bad mood.

My Reply: Even if it's not, it still takes away our ability to feel positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: I know you've shared your philosophy with other struggling people, and you were glad you shared it. Are you some sort of sadist who wants people to be driven to suicide?

My Reply: No. I'm glad because people would finally understand me and my whole predicament. I just want people to understand is all. If I give a compelling argument that supports my philosophy, then I'd be glad, since it really makes people understand why positive emotions are all we have to make our lives good and beautiful.

If other people were convinced of my philosophy, that would likely make them angry at the absurdity of life. After all, it would be an absurd, cruel joke of an existence if positive emotions really were the only things that make life beautiful. I'm angry at the absurdity of life as well. So, if other people are angry at something, and I'm angry at that same thing, that puts us in the same boat.

Other Person's Response: If you were glad, does that mean you felt glad?

My Reply: Yes. But, I can't feel glad now, since I don't have my positive emotions, due to a worry.

Other Person's Response: What if someone had to live most or his entire life without his positive emotions?

My Reply: Life is meant to be a happy party for us. So, it would be like he's coming to a miserable, unhappy party. I think that person should just leave the door, since there's nothing beautiful, joyful, and worthwhile about the party. The point I'm trying to make with this party analogy is that he should just leave this life if he had to live like that. He should commit suicide.

He shouldn't care how much grief it causes his family, since his own happiness is the only thing that makes his life good and beautiful. Other people should understand his predicament, rather than frowning upon him and name calling him. I'm not saying I'm going to end my life if I lose my positive emotions. I'll do my best to give my life that beauty, goodness, and worth back again.

Other Person's Response: I could also give a different analogy besides your party analogy. I could say life is like a store, and we came here to get something (the positive emotions). That's the only item we need, since it's the only one that can give beauty and goodness to our lives. So, if that item's out of stock, we just leave the store. We wait for the item to return first. If it doesn't, then we leave.

My Reply: Correct.

Other Person's Response: So, even though your life wouldn't be beautiful without your positive emotions, that doesn't mean you're going to end your life? Often times, when people say their lives aren't worth living, they commit suicide.

My Reply: I'm not going to end my life. I'd still stick around and get the help I need, even though my life is stripped of any beauty and goodness.

Other Person's Response: If you lived your life without your positive emotions, then it would be like you're just waiting patiently for your positive emotions to return, rather than living a life that's actually beautiful?

My Reply: Correct. It would be like I'm trapped and waiting patiently to be set free one day.

Other Person's Response: According to you, experiencing beauty is how things become beautiful to us. That experience of beauty would be a positive emotion, and it would be like having a surge of a divine life force flowing through your mental being. You don't feel it through your physical body. You just feel it in your mind. But, when that surge wears off for an individual, you're saying nothing can be beautiful to that individual?

My Reply: Correct. That surge must be kept going if you want things to be beautiful to you. It would be like your soul is set ablaze and, once the fire wears off, the beauty is gone.

Other Person's Response: If you were happy all the time, you'd be someone who's out of reality. You'd be like a Disney character!

My Reply: Well, the happiest life is the only greatest life one can live.

Other Person's Response: If life was a utopia, where people were happy all the time, I wouldn't want to live that life. It would be like a fluffy, lofty, Disney world.

My Reply: It's either that, or a life filled with nothing but negativity. Or, a an apathetic existence. Also, positive emotions not only allow us to have one, particular positive experience in our lives (such as the experience of a beautiful, Disney paradise), but they give us all other positive experiences as well. For example, if you felt great from being at a heavy metal concert, then that positive emotion would be giving you the experience of hardcore, awesome beauty or joy. So, if life were a utopia, where people were happy all the time, you might see one group of people who are living a beautiful, Disney paradise, since that's their form of joy. Or, you could see another group living out an awesome, beautiful, heavy metal lifestyle, since that would be their joyful experience.

Other Person's Response: Apathy, for me, is a hellish experience.

My Reply: Negative emotions are the hellish experience, positive emotions are the heavenly experience, and apathy is neither a hellish nor heavenly experience.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy also says that emotions are the only way things can be significant and important to us?

My Reply: Yes. In order for something to be beautiful or disgusting to you, it must be important to you, significant to you, or matter to you. Actually, I think if something's important to you, that's the same thing as it being significant to you, and mattering to you. But, I think it's possible for something to be significant to you, but not beautiful or disgusting to you. Either way, emotions are still the only way things can be significant/important/matter to us.

Other Person's Response: So, does that mean it's possible to have the thought that something is significant, but nothing good or beautiful, and that thought makes you feel a positive emotion that doesn't possess the quality of beauty or goodness, but possesses the quality of significance?

My Reply: Yes. If the thought made you feel a positive emotion, then that positive emotion wouldn't make that thing in your life experienced as good or beautiful. But, it would allow you to experience that thing as significant. In which case, I wouldn't describe it as a positive emotion, since I define a positive experience as the experience of beauty, goodness, magnificence, etc. So, it would just be an emotion you're feeling. The same thing applies if negative emotions you felt weren't horrible experiences, and weren't experiences of horror, disgust, tragedy, etc. They'd simply be emotions.

Other Person's Response: Is it possible to just have a thought, that thought isn't a thought of beauty, disgust, horror, goodness, worth, etc., or a thought that something is significant, but that thought makes you feel an emotion?

My Reply: I don't think so.

Other Person's Response: Is the only way something can have worth to you is if it's important/significant to you?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I know you said earlier that thoughts and beliefs aren't the real things, and that they're just ideas of things. So, that would have to mean they're not the real divine state either. Rather, they're just the idea of the divine state. So, you're right. Learning and growth, in of itself, can't be any real divine state for our souls. It's that heavenly bliss, which is the divine state for our souls.

My Reply: Correct. Heavenly bliss would even include feelings of love, since love is a positive emotion, and heavenly bliss is positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: What do you mean by "divine state?"

My Reply: It would be a mental state that allows us to experience love, beauty, goodness, magnificence, etc. in our lives. That mental state would be our positive emotions. That means positive emotions are divine states.

Other Person's Response: During your miserable moments, you said nothing could be beautiful and worthwhile to you. Is it because you didn't have your divine state (positive emotions)?

My Reply: Correct. During my miserable moments, it would be like having muck all over my very being, preventing me from experiencing beauty, love, and joy. Once all that negativity has been cleared away out of my life--that is, once I've fully recovered from these miserable moments, that's when I regained my positive emotions. Thus, I regained that experience of love, joy, and beauty in my life again.

Other Person's Response: I don't think positive emotions are divine. They're such trivial things.

My Reply: What you see as trivial I see as divine and absolutely necessary. In this case, it would be the positive emotions because I think they're divine and absolutely necessary to our existence.

Other Person's Response: Your entire philosophy is one, big lie!

My Reply: I'm just speaking purely from my own personal experience. Whether other people think it's the truth or not is up to them.

Other Person's Response: Just as how a person can still determine he'd be more hungry for one food than another food, even though he's not hungry, a person can still determine that something is more beautiful to him than something else without his positive emotions, even though nothing is beautiful to him. They're just ideas these people would be having in their minds. But, they're not the actual experiences that make the person hungry or make a particular thing beautiful to the individual.

My Reply: Correct. Thoughts and beliefs alone can't give us hunger and thirst, just how they can't make things, moments, and situations beautiful, good, horrible, better, worse, or disgusting to us.

Other Person's Response: If someone struggled with a life of unhappiness, but obtained something out of his struggle that made him happy, then wasn't his struggle worthwhile and beautiful?

My Reply: If a person has struggled with unhappiness much of his life, then much of his life has been wasted, regardless if he obtained something out of his struggle that made him happy.

Other Person's Response: I know you've learned a life lesson from all these miserable struggles you've had. You've learned to stop worrying, and to keep your thoughts healthy. You've also learned just how vital and precious positive emotions are. But, do you think it was worth all that suffering, just to learn these life lessons?

My Reply: No. It would be like earning a crumb after having gone through years of torment that stripped your life of all beauty, goodness, joy, and worth. I would've expected to earn something grand after all the suffering I've been through, which would be an everlasting experience of beauty, goodness, etc. that's profound and intense beyond anything imaginable.

Other Person's Response: What if, let's pretend, you did acquire this grand, magnificent, everlasting experience through your whole struggle, would all that suffering be pointless if there was another way to obtain that grand experience?

My Reply: Yes. All that suffering would be pointless, since there would've been a happy, fun way of acquiring that grand, beautiful experience. As long as there is a happy, fun alternative to things, then the other alternative of suffering and misery is just pointless agony.

Other Person's Response: If you gained some compassion towards others through your struggles, then I think it was worth all that suffering.

My Reply: Even if I did gain some compassion through my struggles, I could've gained that compassion a happy, healthy way. Or, I could've gained it through a struggle that wasn't as horrible as the miserable struggles I've been through, and said level of compassion gained could've been greater than what I would've obtained through my miserable struggles.

Other Person's Response: I heard heaven grants our every wish. So, you could've wished for the most powerful, profound compassion you could possibly experience in heaven, which means you wouldn't have to suffer to obtain any greater level of compassion.

My Reply: That's right. That means I wouldn't have to go through these miserable struggles that wasted my life.

Other Person's Response: God allowing all your suffering did make you more self-dependent, since you had to find ways to help yourself, rather than relying on god to heal you.

My Reply: Yes. But, that, alone, wasn't worthy of all that suffering.

Other Person's Response: I completely understand. When you've suffered from all these miserable struggles, they were very negative experiences for you, and you could no longer see anything as good, beautiful, or worth living for. It would be like if someone was miserable, due to the loss of a loved one, and he no longer sees beauty in life. Now that you've been through all that suffering, you wish you would've obtained the reward of seeing goodness, beauty, and worth in things on a whole new level that's everlasting, and powerful and profound beyond your wildest dreams.

My Reply: Yes. It would've been wonderful if I acquired all positive experiences, including the experience of love, that are powerful and profound beyond anything imaginable.

Other Person's Response: Since you expect god to just heal your misery, you must be like a spoiled child who wants everything done for him. It's your responsibility to find ways to help yourself. God's not going to heal your misery because that will help you become a more mature adult who takes responsibility for himself.

My Reply: I'm already a person who looks out for himself anyway, which means I'm already a self-dependent person. I'm not a spoiled person either, and I behave very maturely. Many people like me as an individual, they think I'm mature, and very polite. In regards to helping myself, if I was in a situation where there's no cure for my problems, and I'd have to find ways to help myself, then that's fine. I'd have no issue with this, wouldn't complain, and I'd find ways to help myself.

But, god has the power to instantly heal my suffering, which is why I take issue with him not healing my misery, and that's why I complain. Just because he'd heal my misery doesn't mean I'd turn out to be a childish person who complains because people aren't doing things for me all the time. Besides, my positive emotions are what are important here. Not me becoming the most mature person I can be, or learning any life lessons.

Other Person's Response: Well, according to you, emotions are the only way to become a childish or mature person.

My Reply: Yes. But, again, I just went outside my personal definition of childish and mature for the sake of convenience.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think positive thoughts themselves can give us a positive perspective. I don't think a person needs positive emotions to have a positive perspective. So, the goal in life should be to have as much positive thoughts as possible. The more profound and intense they are, the better. So, it's the positive thoughts that are important here, and not any life lessons, or becoming the most mature person one can be. Any struggle a person has, where he has a lot of negative thoughts, is nothing more than a hindrance to the goal of achieving as much positivity in life as possible. So, god should've healed that person's mind of all that negativity, rather than allowing him to go through it. After all, he has the power to heal him.

My Reply: Personally, I think positive emotions are how we have a positive perspective. But, going by your scenario, that person shouldn't be allowed to endure through all those negative thoughts. Especially if those negative thoughts weren't something he had power and control over, and was something he needed to work on.

Other Person's Response: I think god allowed you to go through all that misery because he wanted you to work on your own problems.

My Reply: Like I said, it's not about improving myself, growing as an individual, and taking responsibility for myself by working on my own problems. It's about my positive emotions, and that's why god should've just instantly healed my misery.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps you being allowed to go through all these miserable struggles has taught you just how important happiness is. That way, you'll avoid making reckless decisions that would be life threatening or detrimental to your happiness and well-being.

My Reply: I'm already the type of person to not make such decisions though. I've always been the type of person to not do drugs, smoke, eat unhealthy, etc.

Other Person's Response: God allowing you to suffer, so you could become a more mature adult who looks after himself, would be akin to god allowing someone to suffer horribly from some illness, so that person could become more mature, and look after himself more. That's an unnecessary method, when there's a better way.

My Reply: I agree. So, a better way of me becoming more mature would be if some very kind people entered into my life, inspired me to become more mature, and more responsible for himself.

Other Person's Response: I think you'll look back at your struggles someday and realize that they really were necessary.

My Reply: I don't think so. Even many years later, I'll still think they're pointless and unnecessary.

Other Person's Response: You say your goal is to live the happiest life you can. Does that mean you're going to take drugs to induce profound and powerful states of bliss?

My Reply: No. Drugs would shorten my life span, which would limit the amount of happiness I can get out of life.

Other Person's Response: I heard you say, in your previous packet, that learning and growing through suffering and misery is pointless. I disagree. I think our souls are meant for learning and growing.

My Reply: For me, those miserable struggles were pointless. Another reason why it was all pointless is because it would've been much better off if such struggles never existed in the first place. Would it be better for a person to smoke, and suffer through all the health consequences, just to learn in the end how bad smoking is, and to avoid it? Or, would it be better off if that person was never put into a position where he smoked in the first place? Sure, he wouldn't get to learn his life lesson.

But, it would be better off if he never smoked to begin with. After all, since smoking is to be avoided in the first place, why suffer the health consequences, just to learn smoking needs to be avoided? Likewise, why did god create a world of suffering, so that we can suffer, just to learn in the end that suffering is this horrible thing that needs to be avoided? It would be much better if god created a world without suffering, just as how it would be much better if a person never smoked.

Other Person's Response: You're saying that learning your life lesson of keeping your thoughts healthy wasn't worth all that suffering you've been through, and all those years wasted of your life. It would be like a smoker, who destroyed his body through smoking, just to learn the life lesson that he shouldn't smoke. It simply wasn't worth all that suffering to learn this life lesson. It would've, therefore, been better if that smoker never smoked to begin with, just as how it would've been better if you never had those struggles to begin with.

My Reply: Correct. As for the other life lesson I've learned through my miserable struggles, which would be just how vital and precious positive emotions are, I could've learned that life lesson another way. For example, I could've had a mental illness that took away my positive emotions, and rendered me apathetic. Being apathetic would've taught me just how important it is to enjoy life. So, I could've learned this life lesson through being apathetic, rather than through all the hell I've experienced. That means there was no reason for me to go through all that hell.

Other Person's Response: If a person had many illnesses, much pain, and it brings him greater, more profound positive experiences throughout his life that he wouldn't have had if it weren't for said illnesses and pain, then it's better for him to have pain and illnesses.

My Reply: Yes, because, the greater and more profound positive experiences you have throughout your life, the better your life is.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you're just a very stagnant person who needs to do something new with his life in order to change.

My Reply: That could be. I really don't know if anything would work to change my philosophy.

Other Person's Response: You're also very stagnant in terms of your knowledge and life experience. You don't learn new things, or experience more.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Wouldn't you want to learn how to, for example, clean your computer of dust when it needs cleaning?

My Reply: Yes, because that's necessary to keep my computer in good condition. I hope it's a simple, basic, easy task because I'm no good at following and understanding complicated, technical instructions. I've been opening up the case, and cleaning the dust out, just like how any normal, dumb person would. But, there might be things I'm missing in order for my computer to be completely cleaned.

If that's the case, then I just wish computers had the ability to completely clean themselves. That way, I wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of making sure I've followed all the steps necessary to completely clean my computer. Besides, I might not understand, or properly follow these steps, as I mentioned earlier. I'm lacking in many abilities, don't understand much, and I make many mistakes. That's why it would be better if computers could just clean themselves.

Other Person's Response: So, you wish things could be done for you, since you're lacking in knowledge and abilities? Sometimes in life, we have to do things, and figure things out on our own.

My Reply: I wish things could be done for me to make my life easier. In the future, self-cleaning computers might be invented to make our lives easier. There'd also be a lot of technology invented to make our lives easier.

Other Person's Response: Does your computer have issues? If so, then perhaps there were more steps you needed to follow in order to completely clean your computer.

My Reply: My computer does overheat often. Especially during the summer. As a result, tasks I do on my computer slow down. So, it could be the case that I haven't cleaned all the dust out. Or, maybe, something is wrong with the computer itself, and it has nothing to do with dust still being inside.

Other Person's Response: I heard your younger brother has more knowledge and life experience than you. So, maybe, you can have him clean your computer.

My Reply: I did, and my computer is still having the same issue.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps your brother isn't cleaning your computer right either. So, maybe, you need to get it cleaned by a professional.

My Reply: I'm not sure how much that costs. Anyway, my mother does plan on buying me a new computer, if she gets this Home Equity Loan. If she doesn't, then I hope grandma buys me a new computer. I've had this computer for a few years anyway, and I think it's time I got a new computer. This new computer I'm getting is one meant for music production, since I wish to be a composer.

Other Person's Response: Has the overheating issue with your computer been subsided a little, after the dust has been cleaned from inside the computer?

My Reply: Yes. That overheating issue is still there a bit. So, maybe, a professional needs to completely clean my computer in order for the issue to completely subside.

Other Person's Response: I think you're limiting yourself to the hedonistic values you live by because you don't care about anything else, other than living for your own happiness. That's all you want out of life, and you don't care about living by other values.

My Reply: I'd want to have greater, everlasting values I could live by, since my hedonistic philosophy is very limiting, and only serves to render me in a position where I give up on my hobbies, goals, and dreams without my positive emotions. So, I don't think I have this hedonistic philosophy because happiness is the only thing I care about. Rather, it's because my personal experience leads me to the conclusion that positive emotions are the only things that make life positive.

Other Person's Response: If you do become a famous composer, whose music is admired by many people, are you going to share your philosophy to these people?

My Reply: Yes. I'd upload all my packets online, and give these people the links, so they can read all about my philosophy. It's important that others know about my personal views. Especially if I'm famous. But, I think only few people become famous.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 9/26)

Other Person's Response: It's also important for you to upload your packets because that will back them up online, in case your computer dies, and those packets on your desktop are gone.

My Reply: Yes. I also burn these packets on a cd.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, there are forms of suffering so horrible that it makes me wonder what good purpose it could possibly serve for the individual and/or humanity.

My Reply: Yes. My miserable struggles would be a great example.

Other Person's Response: If there was a person who could live millions of years, due to advanced technology, and that person was hidden from humanity, where he's hooked up to a machine that gives him nightmares for his entire existence, then I bet he'd be left to suffer all alone. He'd just suffer from nightmares over and over again for millions of years, and no angel would come down to rescue him. Neither would god do anything about it. That just shows how cruel and unloving it is for god, and these heavenly, angelic beings, to allow suffering.

My Reply: I agree. If people think it's cruel enough for god to allow suffering upon humans, who have very limited lifespans on Earth, then imagine how cruel it would be to allow someone to suffer, non stop, for millions of years. If there was somehow a way a person could live and suffer, all alone, for millions of years on Earth, then I bet he'd be allowed to suffer all that time. Now, I can't say for certain if god, and these heavenly beings, would allow that person to suffer for that long. But, it's quite possible.

Other Person's Response: Suffering comes from ignorance, and not from God. God does not allow suffering. Rather, human beings allow suffering, and God gives us the free will to do as we please with the human state of being that we have. Our lack of health care for everyone allows suffering, our economic and political systems allows suffering, our cultural and societal tenets allows suffering, the way we think allows us to suffer, etc., etc., etc., etc. These are things created by man. Not by God.

Joy and complete fulfillment is inside of every human being. But, most people pursue material wealth and sensory stimulation for their fulfillment. Happiness is an inside job, and often, it takes many decades for people to find it, if they find it at all. If a person is having nightmares, that is their subconscious trying to tell them something. Nightmares just don't come out of nowhere. People have to get to know their own mind, their own emotions, etc. if they truly want to be happy. Of course, this is just my opinion.

My Reply: Let me make myself more clear. If there was a way a person could literally be trapped in a state of agonizing, physical torture, and/or mental torture, that would last for millions of years, then he'd be allowed to suffer all that time, and god, or these heavenly beings, would do nothing about it. You say human beings have the free will to get themselves out of scenarios where they suffer. But, that isn't always the case. The example I have given would be a situation where a person literally remains trapped in a state of suffering for millions of years, with no way out. Lastly, as for nightmares, there might be a way to artificially induce them through future technology.

Other Person's Response: I don't understand the point of this. You put forward a hypothetical situation, which has no basis in reality, and then come to some conclusion about what god would, or would not do, in this hypothetical situation. This is not an example that shows how cruel it is for God to allow suffering because it has nothing to do with the real world. If you want to make a point about the nature of suffering, and the actions/inactions of God/heavenly beings, why not focus on the real world?

My Reply: It just makes one wonder if god really would be cruel and unloving enough to allow that person to suffer for millions of years.

Other Person's Response: I still don't understand the point because it is all an imaginary situation.

My Reply: Well, imagine if you met god yourself when your soul enters heaven, you presented him the hypothetical situation I gave, and you asked him if he'd really be that cruel and unloving to allow that person to suffer millions of years. I'm quite sure asking such a question isn't pointless, since it would put god to the test to determine if he's really an all-loving being or not. It would be a very good question to ask anyone, including the heavenly beings who are with god. It would put these beings to the test as well to see if they are all-loving or not.

Other Person's Response: Again, it's still an imaginary scenario, which makes it a pointless question.

My Reply: There are many such questions we ask that aren't pointless. For example, one question could be: "What would life be like if robots did all our jobs?" Even though this is an imaginary scenario, it's a very popular question that many people think is worth answering.

Other Person's Response: No, I still don't get the point of this exercise. Why do you feel the urge to put God, and any heavenly beings, to the test? What does such a question about an imaginary situation prove?

My Reply: It's because I'd want to know if all the miserable struggles I've been through were allowed by an all-loving god, or a cruel, unloving god. I think all my miserable struggles were pointless, unnecessary suffering. But, if an all-loving god allowed my suffering, then it wouldn't have been pointless, unnecessary suffering, since only a cruel, unloving god would allow a person to needlessly suffer.

Thus, if he's an all-loving god, then all my miserable struggles were for a good purpose, and it would've been worth all that suffering. But, I don't think that's the case. So, it's quite possible that, if god exists, then he's just a cruel, unloving god who allowed me to go through pointless suffering. If I meet god in heaven, after my physical body dies, then I'd find out if he's all-loving or not by putting him to the test with that hypothetical example. The same thing applies to those heavenly beings.

Other Person's Response: You are talking about an extreme hypothetical situation. Don't you think that, if a person can live for millions of years, the human race would've also conquered suffering? I mean, if medicine could keep a person alive for millions of years, I'm sure such an advanced medical technology would've also put an end to human suffering.

No one can make us suffer, or allow us to suffer. During World War II, there were people, put in Nazi concentration camps, who were determined to keep a good attitude. Have you ever heard of Pollyanna or Anne Frank? They were such people who were determined to see the bright side of things, regardless how much hardship they were put through.

I worked in the health care field for more than 40 years, and have seen lots of suffering. But, not everybody with the same condition suffers. Some refuse to suffer. Your hypothesis is neither sound nor valid. Your major premise is that God is allowing people to suffer, like people have no control over their own emotions. Suffering is an emotional state of being. It's a state of being that we do not have to embark on, regardless of our situation.

The point of self control is not on the outside of us. Rather, our locust of control is eternal. It is within us. The GOD I have come to know is absolutely pure, unconditional love. The very fabric of God's presence is unfathomable, overwhelming, intoxicating, bliss. This has been my experience of that which I call God for many decades now. But, we are all entitled to our opinions.

My Reply: Physical pain is also a form of suffering. So, if someone has been allowed to go through immense physical pain for millions of years, then that person would be allowed to suffer. If someone has been put in a pretend situation where he gets sawed into pieces, experiences that agonizing pain, regenerates, gets sawed into pieces again, then god would allow that to go on for millions of years, if such a thing was possible. If it could only go on for hundreds or thousands of years, rather than millions of years, then god would allow it.

Also, you're right when you say there's an emotional form of suffering. But, we don't always have power and control over how we feel (our emotional state). Thus, we don't always have power and control when it comes to our suffering. That means we have no choice but to suffer sometimes. For example, there was a worry that brought much misery upon me. I was in a very horrible state of mind, and I couldn't just rid of this misery-inducing worry out of my psyche. Nothing I thought, or did, eased the worry one bit. So, I had no choice but to suffer until I fully recovered from the worry, and that was a long term goal.

Other Person's Response: Mental and emotional work hand in hand. Quiet meditation helps me control my own mind. But, it didn't happen overnight. I've been doing quiet meditation for many decades, and it's a God-send. Often times, the answers we need are right in front of us. But, in order to see them, we have to open our heart, and let go of only seeing things one way.

You seem set in your way of viewing God, and maybe that's stopping you from seeing other things that may help you. I'd suggest you search out a spiritual counselor, a minister, a priest, or whatever you're comfortable with because you seem dead set on seeing things one way, and one way only, which means that you're stuck. If you don't learn how to control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you.

My Reply: Thank you. But, god, and these heavenly beings, have still allowed me to suffer through all that misery, even if meditation was the answer that could've helped me all along. Also, you said it takes a long commitment to meditation in order to see significant results. If god, or these heavenly beings, had the power to instantly heal me of that misery-inducing worry, then they should've done so, rather than allowing me to go through a long, tedious process of easing the worry myself through meditation, and/or other methods.

Other Person's Response: Even if suffering is the fault of humanity and not god, an all-loving god would still be healing suffering people.

My Reply: I agree. There are people who have to live with cancer on a hospital bed, and it's not their choice of free will to cure themselves of it. They have to live with it, and it would be best if god just healed them.

Other Person's Response: I think god allows suffering because suffering serves a form of personal character growth.

My Reply: There are forms of suffering where people don't benefit from it. They don't grow at all from it, it's nothing but agonizing torment for them, and it would be best if god healed them of it.

Other Person's Response: Some people really have no choice but to suffer. For example, if someone was devastated, due to the loss of his loved one, then he'd have no choice but to suffer through all that grief. He'd just have to wait patiently for his psyche to fully recover on its own, while also trying therapeutic methods that could help him reach that state of full recovery faster.

My Reply: Yes. But, in the meantime, he's just going to have to wait in a pit of darkness, where his life is devoid of any positive experiences. In this pit of darkness, there might be brief moments of light (positive experiences). But, these moments of light are dim, and don't last very long at all. So, it's best if we just wait until all the light comes back to us again before pursuing any goal or dream.

Other Person's Response: Some people aren't devastated by the loss of their loved ones, since they have a different mindset, which prevents them from becoming devastated. That says you have a choice whether you're devastated by something or not.

My Reply: Unfortunately, I couldn't help but have this devastating worry, and I can't change my mindset by sheer will. Perhaps with a lot of work, I could somehow change my mindset, so I'm no longer worried. But, like I said, in the meantime, I'm just going to have to wait in this pit of darkness.

Other Person's Response: If your psyche fully recovers on its own, then wouldn't that already be a change in your mindset, since that worry is gone, and no longer causing you any more negative emotions, such as feelings of misery, hate, etc.?

My Reply: I think you're right. I could say the same thing about that person who was devastated by the loss of his loved one. Once his psyche fully recovers on its own from the grief, I think that state of full recovery would be a change in his mindset. But, it's an extremely long wait for my psyche to fully recover on its own. That's why I need things to help me get to a full recovery faster.

Other Person's Response: I'm going to quote something you said, and respond to it:

Thank you. But, god has still allowed me to suffer through all that misery, even if meditation was the answer that could've helped me all along. I don't think he should've allowed me to suffer like that, since my life was sheer hell, devoid of any beautiful, joyful, loving, worthwhile experience. All positive experiences were completely absent for me, due to that worry.

In my opinion, what you're saying right now is what's keeping you miserable. What you tell yourself is like an affirmation. It's your internal dialogue, and a recording you have in your head that you've created. It is a very intimate conversation that you're having with yourself. Just think of the possibility that, maybe, you're looking at this all wrong, and that's what's causing you to be miserable.

In my opinion, you need to change that recording in your head, and develop some positive affirmations. Take responsibility for your life, and stop blaming your problems on God. If you want to experience joy, and get out of your suffering, then you've got to change the things you are telling yourself. This is where joy and fulfillment begins: in your self talk. You need to start talking sense to yourself, and a counselor can help you with that.

We all have work to do on ourselves. I can blame God for allowing me to go blind. But, looking back, my blindness was a blessing. It was what I needed to go through to wake up, and maybe what you're going through right now is part of your waking up process. There can be a dawn after the darkness, if you allow that dawn to happen. I have been through eye surgery more than a dozen times.

The first time, I was in the hospital, going through eye surgery. Afterwards, in the recovery ward, there was a guy, laying in a bed next to me. He had also gone through eye surgery, and he was very angry at God, yelling out things, such as: "Why did you do this to me?" I laid there quietly in the same room as he. We both had only a 50/50 chance of regaining our eyesight.

We went home, and the guy, who was next to me at the hospital, took his life. I continued with my treatments, and learned a great deal from my period of blindness, much later regaining my eyesight. While I did not have any outer sight when I was blind, I gained great insight. I did not suffer, and I do not blame God. What I went through is what I needed to go through to wake up. It was a part of my human journey.

My Reply: The only times I'm miserable would be moments where I have a devastating worry, or some other type of negative thought, that puts me in a state of misery. But, my way of thinking about god doesn't cause me any misery at all, which means that's not what's keeping me in a state of misery. The reason why I was trapped in a miserable state during that moment of worry was because this was a worry my mind had an extremely difficult time letting go.

It had nothing to do with my way of looking at god as a cruel, unloving being for allowing me to suffer. Also, seeing as how god, or these heavenly beings, have the power to instantly heal me, but aren't going to instantly heal me of any misery-inducing thought or worry I might have in my life, then I'll just try my best to find ways to help me. I can't promise anything would really help me though. Nonetheless, I'll still try my best.

Other Person's Response: If this misery-inducing worry of yours really served a good purpose, which would be for you to improve yourself and your life through certain methods (such as meditation), then fully recovering from this worry on your own would completely defeat that purpose. That's because you'd be all better, and would no longer require these methods to give you a stronger, more resilient mind, more control over your thoughts and emotions, a calmer mind, a better philosophy, etc. In which case, why did god, or these heavenly beings, have you go through all that misery, when they knew all along that it wasn't going to serve that good purpose? They're all knowing beings who can see into the future, which means they would've known this.

My Reply: You're right, and I think I'm nearing a fully recovery on my own. But, even if my misery did result in me bettering myself as an individual, and my philosophy, I still think there'd be a better, healthier, happy way of doing so.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend you tried your best to better yourself and your life. Do you really think it's possible for you to live by a better philosophy than the one you currently have?

My Reply: No. I don't think my hedonistic philosophy can ever change. But, I might be able to relax my mind more through meditation, and I might regain more control over my thoughts and emotions through certain therapeutic methods, including meditation.

Other Person's Response: You must be open to new philosophies. I think your philosophy can change, and you're just being closed-minded.

My Reply: I am open. But, I'm very doubtful.

Other Person's Response:

I can't promise anything would really help me though. Nonetheless, I'll still try my best.

Then I wish you good luck on your healing journey!

My Reply: Thank you. Now, you said there are healing methods, such as meditation, and that this would be the answer that would help ease this constant worry of mine, so my mental suffering would also be eased. But, let's pretend there was a very poor person who was in the same predicament as me. However, he didn't know anything about meditation, or other therapeutic/healing methods, he couldn't afford them, didn't have access to them, couldn't research them on the internet or through reading books (since he can't afford to do that either), and the people he meets in his village (or on his streets) are just average people who don't know anything about meditation, or these healing methods, and couldn't help him, since they're not mental health professionals, or teachers in the art of meditation.

God, and these heavenly beings, would just allow that person to suffer from his constant, misery-inducing worry until, hopefully, his brain fully recovers from the worry on its own, which would take a very long time. As you can see, I'm looking for every excuse to blame god, and these heavenly beings, since I suspect they're not the all-loving beings many people make them out to be. That is, if they really do exist. I don't know if they exist or not, since I'm undecided when it comes to the existence of supernatural things, such as god, the afterlife, the soul, psychic abilities, etc.

Other Person's Response: If that person, in your example above, had the will to recover from his misery, then his will would attract things in his life to help him recover. So, as that person continues to try to help himself, god will grant him the help he needs, which means nobody is in a truly hopeless situation.

My Reply: Well, there are already forms of suffering that people have to bear through to the end. So, I wouldn't be surprised if that person would be left to suffer to the end.

Other Person's Response: If that person, in your example, tried to get the help he needed, but still didn't get the help he needed, then his spiritual vibration must be low because people with high spiritual vibrations are able to attract the things they want in their lives, whether it be money, psychological help, etc. So, he'd need to raise his spiritual vibration somehow.

My Reply: Well, how's he supposed to know that? If he's ignorant of this, then he'd be stuck, not getting the help he needs. God should've, at least, bestowed knowledge upon him that he needs to raise his spiritual vibration, and how he should do that.

Other Person’s Response: If that person in your example had to live his entire life in prison, then there’s no way he could get the help he needed.

My Reply: You’re right.

Other Person’s Response: I heard that your recent emotional crisis took the longest to fully recover from. I think it’s completely unnecessary for you to suffer like this, and neither do I think it’s necessary for you to dedicate so much of your time and energy in trying things that might help you recover faster, when god can just heal you instantly. Even while you’re trying things that might help you, you’re still suffering the whole way through, and I don’t think you should have to suffer like this. Any therapeutic methods won’t completely heal you instantly. They’ll only heal you slowly and gradually over time. But, the thing is, god and his angels have the power to completely heal your mind instantly. So, I don’t know why they don’t.

My Reply: I don’t know why either.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps your difficulty is that you want someone to blame for your suffering. You have this belief that God, or some heavenly beings, could relieve your suffering in an instant. Since you continue to suffer, then you conclude that God, and these heavenly beings, are, therefore, not all-loving. Why not take responsibility for your suffering? If you suffer, then the cause of your suffering is within you, and the solution to your suffering is also within you. Don't wait for someone to wave a magic wand, and remove all your suffering. You could be waiting a long time. Go within and discover whatever it is within you that's making you suffer. Then, you can begin to end all your suffering.

My Reply: Thank you. But, I do think god, and these heavenly beings, aren't all-loving. Not only because they allowed me to go through all that suffering, but because they just send souls to a planet, where positive emotions are very fleeting things.

Other Person's Response: Maybe you should keep trying, and not give up so easily. I'm quite sure there's a way to ease this worry of yours, and it doesn't have to be through waiting for your brain to recover from it on its own.

My Reply: You could be right.

Other Person's Response: "Change how you see and see how you change."-Zen Quote

I do readings for people, or come across those who are in need of spiritual healing (i.e. 'ordinary,' 'everyday' people who have no interest in the ideologies or theologies). One, in particular, was going through a particularly harrowing time in her life, and was at an emotional crossroad. Long story short, she was relying on someone else because she didn't think she had the strength. She came to me, looking for answers, as her hopes and dreams were coming apart.

Even from the beginning, I knew what was coming. Yet, I had to try and be objective, as the empath in me wanted to tell her that her world was about to fall apart, and that, emotionally, she would end up on the floor. I knew what she had to go through was going to make her stronger, far more capable, and that the person she was relying on was only going to be a liability. It was one of the heaviest readings I've done. At the time, I was in a deep dilemma on a few levels.

But, now, I can see how, because of what she had to endure, she's found more strength than she ever thought she had. I heard my daughter was being abused by her partner, and my first thought was to travel some 400 miles, just to go down, and put him in the hospital. My two brothers would've come with me. My wife persuaded me not to because it would've only made the situation worse. It's the same old story that's been repeated over and over again.

But, I knew I had to let things play out, after I'd calmed down, and I'm glad I did. I guess the point is that, often, we see these things from the perspective of victim hood, and not from the perspective of it being there to help us in some ways. Nothing happens TO us, and everything happens BECAUSE of us. It's easy to blame God, and anyone else.

But, while we're waiting for God to get us out of a fix, he's waiting for us to get our backsides into gear because, unless we take action, he doesn't know which way we want to jump. It's easy to blame others when we're feeling sorry for ourselves. It's not so easy to understand that, in the longer term, those 'bad times' have been given to us to make us into bigger, better, stronger people. That understanding only comes from retrospect, and when we turn those hurts into halos, it all makes so much sense.

My Reply: Sure. But, the question is, I heard heaven is where we can have all our wishes granted. I hear many people report that they've almost been driven to suicide, and that their lives were no longer worth living. But, they've gained some form of learning and growth out of it, and I just see no need for them to go through such suffering to obtain said learning and growth, when they can just live the most beautiful, worthwhile existence in heaven for eternity, and have all their learning and growth handed to them.

Other Person's Response: When people have struggles, the result is, often times, that their lives have much more beauty and worth than not having those struggles.

My Reply: But, again, even this greater form of beauty and worth can be granted to us in heaven. So, there's no need to suffer in order to obtain any form of learning and growth, or any greater positive experience, when it can all just be granted to us.

Other Person's Response: It seems you really didn't gain anything from your miserable struggles anyway. You're still the same, shallow hedonist, and your struggles didn't make you a better person who contributes to the world, serves humanity, makes new discoveries, etc.

My Reply: Exactly. But, I do hear from spiritual believers that, if you struggle, but don't learn the life lessons you were supposed to learn from said struggles, and didn't obtain the growth you were supposed to obtain, then you reincarnate into a new body on Earth, and suffer again, so that you, hopefully, obtain the learning and growth you were supposed to obtain. Like I said though, I think that's just a pointless, unnecessary process when all that learning and growth can just be granted to the individual by god, or the heavenly, spiritual beings.

Other Person's Response: Maybe, heaven doesn't grant our every wish. Perhaps that's why souls must suffer in order to obtain the learning and growth they need to obtain, since there's no way they can just wish for it, and have it granted to them.

My Reply: Perhaps you're right.

Other Person's Response: If we can be given all the learning we needed, why are we here? If I knew that, I'd have stayed, never have came here in the first place, and I'll bet the billions of other souls on the planet would've done the same thing. So, if you were to speak to god about being granted the wish of having all forms of learning and growth granted to you, will that, all of a sudden, end reincarnation, and you'd just be granted that wish, with no need to reincarnate on Earth anymore in order to obtain further learning and growth? Also, considering the generations of people who've gone through their lives, suffering, they're too dumb to work out they can stay in heaven, and live in bliss? No offense, Matt, but you could use a rethink there, buddy.

My Reply: You're right. It does seem absurd.

Other Person's Response: My question is, is it possible for heaven to grant our every wish, and god, and these heavenly beings, are unwilling to grant us some wishes? Maybe they can grant us all the learning and growth we need, but refuse to grant us this wish, since they want souls to earn it the hard way by going through much suffering.

My Reply: I'm not sure. If it's possible for them to grant us all forms of learning and growth we wish for, then souls are going through unnecessary suffering here on Earth. So, I'd take issue with that, and have a little chat with god, and these heavenly beings, if my soul enters heaven after the death of my physical body.

Other Person's Response: If god, and these heavenly beings, want souls to learn and grow, then why don't they just give souls all the learning and growth they need, rather than having them go through this long, grueling process of suffering and reincarnating?

My Reply: I'm not sure.

Other Person's Response: There's a far bigger picture here that you're obviously not willing to see. The greatest forms of learning come through hardships, and the story of the chrysalis comes to mind. Unconditional Love means nothing until there are conditions, either for yourself or others.

Empathy is equally meaningless until you've been through the same experiences yourself. Forgiveness wouldn't exist because, in heaven, everybody is so nice there's nothing to forgive, and forgiveness for yourself and/or others is very important.

In heaven, everything is pure, there's no meaning to that experience, and there's nothing to experience that would expand your consciousness any more. The real question is, what are the reasons you think the way you do? The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and the whole point of coming here to Earth is that we can have experiences that just aren't possible in heaven.

My Reply: I thought anything we gain through having experiences on Earth can be granted to us in heaven if we wish for it. That even includes the things you've just mentioned. Like I said though, maybe god, and these heavenly beings, just refuse to grant us this wish. Also, any experience we have here on Earth we can have in heaven as well, since that's another wish that's possible to grant.

Other Person's Response: If someone lives a beautiful existence in heaven, then he'd be living a meaningful existence because it makes no sense to say that someone's living a beautiful existence that's meaningless.

My Reply: That's right. So, heaven can never be a meaningless existence, since we can have all the positive experiences we want there. All positive experiences make life meaningful. So, if you're living a life where you're having the most profound, powerful, positive experiences, then you're living a life that has the most profound, powerful meaning. Again, heaven is where we have the most profound, powerful, positive experiences, which means heaven would be the most meaningful existence.

Other Person's Response: According to your philosophy, a person in a vegetative state of bliss would be living a very meaningful existence, since he'd be having powerful and profound positive emotions.

My Reply: Yes. But, if I said that a person would be living a very meaningful existence if he had profound and powerful positive thoughts while in a vegetative state, such as thoughts of love and beauty towards life, then many people would agree. My philosophy just switches that from positive thoughts to positive emotions, since we can only experience a beautiful existence once positive thoughts, or beliefs, make us feel positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: As for having experiences on Earth that we can't have in heaven, I can't have the experience of drinking a rather fine, single malt in heaven because I'm just a spirit, with no physical body, which means I have no taste buds. Furthermore, there's not a single malt whiskey in heaven. Also, nobody can grant you the experience of having something to forgive if they can't smack you in the mouth.

My Reply: Well, couldn't you wish for any physical body you want in heaven, and have one? From there, couldn't you wish for a malt, it magically appears out of thin air, and you have it? Also, couldn't you wish for any situation to happen to you that puts you in the position of having to forgive?

Other Person's Response: In heaven, I could even wish for the experience that I've forgiven thousands of times, and be satisfied with all the forgiveness I gave, when, in reality, I never forgave once in heaven.

My Reply: Sure.

Other Person's Response: I heard your goal in composing is to share awesome, memorable music to the world that expresses the things you wish to express to your audience. But, if heaven grants our every wish, then you wouldn't have to go through the process of learning how to compose, or creating music, since you could just wish for any song to pop into existence that you want to share to your audience of souls in heaven, and you'd have that wish granted. Any awesome, memorable music you've yet to create would just instantly pop into existence for you, and I'd find that to be boring. It's very interesting when a person must go through the process of learning and creating works of art. So, in my opinion, I think you're better off here on Earth, where you must go through that process.

My Reply: In heaven, I could wish for music to pop into existence for me. Or, I could wish to go through the learning and creating process in heaven, and wish for all the tools and equipment I need to go through this process. So, I see no need for me to be here on Earth. Especially when I can enjoy the learning and creating process far more in heaven than I can here on Earth, since positive emotions are far more profound and intense in heaven, and they're not fleeting.

Other Person's Response: If you could enjoy having the music you want instantly pop into existence, and sharing said music to your audience, just as much as you would enjoy going through the learning and creating process in heaven, and sharing your music that way, then both endeavors were just as beautiful, valuable, precious, and worthwhile, since you'd be getting the same level of joy out of them.

My Reply: Yes. In which case, I could just choose any one of these endeavors I want in heaven.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps it was actually best for your soul to pursue the endeavor of going through the process of learning and creating. But, if you were to remain in heaven, you'd be tempted to wish for any music to pop into existence. To avoid this, your soul same to Earth. That way, you're forced into a position where you can only pursue endeavor #1 (the process of learning and creating), rather than endeavor #2 (wishing for any music to pop into existence).

My Reply: Well, god, and these heavenly beings, would've realized this, and wouldn't grant me the wish of endeavor #2. So, I could've still remained in heaven, and pursued endeavor #1.

Other Person's Response: If you could wish for any song to pop into existence, then you could wish for one of the most amazing, powerful songs to pop into existence that the world has yet to hear. I don't think you'll ever produce one of the most amazing, powerful songs yourself, since you'll never amount to a genius composer like Beethoven. You might develop some level of composing talent. But, I doubt you'll ever be an amazing composer. So, that's why I think it would be best if you could pursue endeavor #2 instead of endeavor #1.

My Reply: Well, I'm here on Earth, which means I have to pursue endeavor #1.

Other Person's Response: I heard you're someone with hardly any knowledge and life experience. That means you're very ignorant, and unenlightened to the truth of many things. So, how could someone like you be in a position of saying things, such as that all your miserable struggles were just a pointless waste of your life, and god is doing things all wrong by having you sent here to Earth?

My Reply: Well, there are many atheists who say the same things as me, and they're intelligent people. They say god is cruel and unloving for allowing so much suffering, and how it would be better if souls remained in heaven, if there was a heaven.

Other Person's Response: Everything is in perfect order, which means there's no such thing as pointless, unnecessary suffering. So, your suffering served some grand purpose that you're not realizing.

My Reply: I hope you're right.

Other Person's Response: I heard from spiritual believers that, when our physical bodies die, and our souls meet god, god doesn't judge us. We're the judges. We have a life review, and we judge everything that's happened in our lives. We judge our actions, the hardships we've been through, etc.

My Reply: Well then, I'd judge all those miserable struggles I've had as pointless, unnecessary suffering that did nothing but wasted my life away. I'd tell god there was no reason for me to go through all that, and how much better it would've been if I never had those struggles. I'd also tell god that I didn't earn the reward I deserved for having gone through all that mental turmoil. But, like I said, even if I did obtain that reward, I wouldn't need to suffer at all to obtain said reward in the first place, when I could just wish for it in heaven, and have it granted to me.

Other Person's Response: Any truth you wish to know can be granted to you in heaven anyway.

My Reply: Exactly. So, there's no need for me to suffer like I did in order to discover the truth.

Other Person's Response: I think you can give yourself that reward you expected. Just change your mindset, and that will allow you to feel positive emotions on a whole new level. When you're fully recovered from this worry of yours, then just have much more profound and powerful thoughts of beauty, love, joy, etc. than you ever did before, and that should allow you to feel beauty, love, joy, etc. on a whole new level.

My Reply: When I'm all better and happy again, it seems I just have the usual positive experiences I normally have. I'm not sure if that can change. But, even if it did change, and I did have more profound, powerful thoughts than I ever did before to make me feel positive emotions that are more profound and powerful, there's a major limit set upon this, which means a person can't just give himself the most powerful, profound experience of beauty, love, etc. in the world. Such a powerful experience would have to come about through drug use, since people have such experiences during their trips. When people have a near death experience, and go on trips, they have such experiences as well.

Other Person's Response: I heard souls are very limited here on Earth, and that they have much more powerful, profound experiences when they're free of their physical, Earthly bodies. An example would be people, who experience god's love, when their souls are in heaven. It's a powerful, profound experience beyond anything they could achieve here on Earth. As a matter of fact, I hear from near death accounts that this Earthly existence seems insignificant compared to what they experience in the heavenly and hellish, spiritual realms.

My Reply: Yes. Not only are we limited in terms of knowledge here on Earth, but also in terms of experience.

Other Person's Response: So, there's a major limit to how powerful and profound our thoughts and emotions can be here on Earth?

My Reply: Yes. But, in heaven, it's something much greater.

Other Person's Response: Could you give me a link that shows me the near death accounts?

My Reply: Sure. Here it is:

https://www.nderf.org/Archives/NDERF_NDEs.html

Other Person's Response: If you can't convert anyone to your views, then why did you write all this material in regards to your philosophy?

My Reply: Again, I'm just sharing my views. If anyone does become convinced by them, then that's their conviction.

Other Person's Response: You say you have a negative perspective and attitude during your miserable moments. So, perhaps you're just having a bad attitude when you say your miserable struggles were a pointless waste of your life. Maybe, once you're happy again, you'll see things from a new perspective, and realize just how beautiful and worthwhile your struggles were.

My Reply: No. I have every reason to think they were pointless. Besides, I'm very close to a state of happiness, and I'm still coming to the conclusion they were pointless. So, even if I was completely happy right now, I'd be having a positive attitude in regards to my struggles. But, it would be: "I just hope god realizes how pointless these struggles were, and learns his lesson. I'm the judge here, and I wish for the happiest existence I can live. Not a miserable one."

Other Person's Response: I'm going to quote something you said and respond to it:

I'm actually doing fine (although, I'm not fully recovered from this misery-inducing worry I've had, which I talked about earlier). I'd say I'm 90% to a full recovery now. That means I only have a very small amount of misery from time to time, and I think all my misery will soon be gone.

Lastly, many spiritual believers would say we're very limited in terms of our perspective here on Earth, and that, once my soul leaves my body, and enters heaven, I should have a whole new perspective, see all my struggles as having been worth going through, and realize they weren't the pointless, unnecessary hardships I thought they were when I was on Earth. I'm not sure if this is true or not.

Who knows, I still might think they're pointless when my soul meets god in heaven. If that's the case, then I'd have a little chat with god, since my life was wasted with pointless misery.

For some reason, I thought of the following poem, which you're probably familiar with:

One night I had a dream…

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and across the sky, flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonged to me, and the other, to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that, many times along the path of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest, and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.

“Lord, you said that, once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But, I've noticed that, during the most troublesome times in my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me. The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you, and I'd never, never leave you during your times of trial, and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

My Reply: Thanks for sharing that poem. I just hope you're right about god being loving, caring, and not having me go through pointless suffering.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 10/26)

Other Person's Response: Good to hear that you're on the road to full recovery. Does it ever occur to you that you could use your own struggles to help others going through a similar process? You've been where they are, and you understand what they're going through. Maybe your struggles were a gift, which you can share with others. If you had received instant healing, then you'd have no understanding of the journey to recovery.

My Reply: I have no interest in helping others though. As a matter of fact, I lack interest in so many things. For example, I have no interest in learning new things (which is why I'm a very dumb person), I don't care what clothes my mother buys me, I don't care about growing as an individual, etc. I also don't care what's going on in the world, which is why I don't watch the news, or read the newspaper. Neither do I care about other people suffering in this world.

I just let them carry on with their lives, while I carry on with my own life. Even if a person suffered in agony, and died before my very eyes, I don't think I'd care. It just wouldn't bother me. But, I'd still help that dying person, only if I had to. If I didn't have to, then I'd just let him suffer and die. Perhaps someone else would then come along and help him. In summary, I'm just a very casual person who doesn't care about much.

Other Person's Response: But, during your miserable struggles, you're not a casual person, since you're not doing well. You're in a state of psychological turmoil, you become hateful, and violent.

My Reply: Yes. But, when I'm happy again, I'm the casual person who has fun, doing the hobbies he loves to do.

Other Person's Response: So, in order to be a casual person, you need to feel casual?

My Reply: Yes. That feeling would be a positive emotion. When I feel troubled and miserable, I'm no longer a casual person.

Other Person's Response: It seems you're a cold, uncaring person. Does this mean you treat others with a cold, cruel attitude?

My Reply: Not at all. I have a very kind, polite personality that many people love about me. So, I wouldn't describe myself as cold and cruel. Rather, I'm just a casual guy who doesn't care about much. So, I'm casual and carefree. But, during an emotional crisis, I do become cruel and hateful, since I can only have negative experiences. I also display a very negative attitude.

Other Person's Response: Do you even become cruel and hateful towards your therapist during an emotional crisis?

My Reply: No. Only towards those who give me a stern or agitated attitude, or name call me.

Other Person's Response:

I have no interest in helping others though. ... Neither do I care about other people suffering in this world. I just let them carry on with their lives, while I carry on with my own life. Even if a person suffered in agony, and died before my very eyes, I don't think I'd care. It just wouldn't bother me. ... In summary, I'm just a very casual person who doesn't care about much.

Yet, you complain because God seems to have no interest in helping you. You complain because God, and the heavenly beings, don't seem to care about your suffering in this world. You complain because God just lets you carry on with your life, while God goes about his business.

You complain because God doesn't seem to care, because God doesn't seem bothered about your suffering, because God is so casual where you are concerned. You have truly created a God in your own image. You wonder why god didn't heal your misery? It's because you don't help others. You must give to the universe if you want the universe to give to you in return.

My Reply: Well, I think I'm a decent human being just the way I am, which means god should see me as worthy of being healed/assisted. There are qualities about me worth appreciating. For example, I'm still kind and polite towards my family, and others out in the community. There are many other qualities about me worth appreciating as well. So, god should accept me for who I am, rather than seeing me as someone unworthy of healing. If he's an all-loving god, he'd appreciate me, and heal me, rather than leaving me to suffer. I, myself, am not an all-loving person. But, like I said, I'm still a decent person who should be worthy of healing in god's eyes.

I shouldn't have to meet a higher standard as an individual in order to be worthy of god's healing, since god should love all humans, and, thus, heal them. So, god, and these heavenly beings, should lower their standards, if they already have high standards. Especially considering that many kind people accept me, appreciate me, don't expect me to meet a higher standard, and don't think I'm unworthy if I don't meet said standard. As long as I'm a kind person who helps these people when they ask for my help (an example being my family), then that's good enough in their eyes, they think I'm worthy of being assisted, and getting the things I want, which is why my mother buys me the things I want.

But, I don't need to help the world, contribute to science, make the world a better place, or any of that. So, I can just let the world suffer, and go about its business. Also, even if I was a very giving, helpful person, I still don't think god, or the universe, would've healed my misery. So, I don't think my lack of healing has anything to do with me not being a giving, helpful person. After all, even very loving, giving, helpful, compassionate people are allowed to go through immense suffering that strips their lives of beauty, joy, and worth. They don't get healing from god, heavenly beings, or the universe, and they're allowed to suffer in a dark pit of despair, hate, etc. An example would be miserable, suicidal people.

Other Person's Response: I heard that people, who go on heavenly trips during their near death experience, report that god is an all-loving being who loves all humans, and doesn't judge them as disgusting or unworthy. That even applies to the heavenly beings.

My Reply: Then why didn't they heal my misery, if they loved me, and thought I was worthy of healing?

Other Person's Response: If god, or these heavenly beings, required you to help humanity, or do something else, in order to earn their healing, then they should've told you. They should've bestowed the knowledge upon you that you should do these things.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Do other kind people, such as your mother, sometimes expect you to help them, or other people?

My Reply: Yes. I do so because I'm expected to. Not because I care. I don't want to be given a stern attitude, punished, and not get the things I want. So, that's why I have to help. Well, actually, I've been known to feel positive emotions when giving to others (providing I do have my ability to feel positive emotions). That means I do care, since there were caring thoughts, making me feel that way. But, giving to others isn't something I really have a passion for though. It's no different than how I have no passion for football, dentistry, chemistry, physics, etc.

Sure, I might feel some joy in doing those things. But, they're not something I'd want to dedicate my life to. To expect me to dedicate my life to helping humanity, and contributing to the world, would be no different than expecting me to dedicate my life to football, dentistry, etc. It's unnecessary, and it's up to the individual what he wishes to dedicate his life to. So, frowning upon me, or thinking I'm unworthy of healing and assistance, since I don't dedicate my life to something I don't need to dedicate my life to, is absurd.

Other Person's Response: Helping others, and contributing to the world, shouldn't be compared to football, dentistry, etc. I think it's necessary, since it shows love and compassion towards humanity.

My Reply: I don't see it that way. If there was a stranger on the road, with a sign that reads: "Will work for food," then I don't have to help that person. I can just be like the rest of the world, who'd drive on by him, or walk past him, without helping him. Another example would be donating blood or organs, and donating to charity. Many people don't donate. It's something they have no passion for. But, that doesn't make them repulsive people who are deserving of punishment, ridicule, scorn, etc.

Other Person's Response: Even if others, including your mother, didn't expect you to help the world from time to time, I think you should help the world. You should, at least, make some small contribution to the world.

My Reply: Again, I don't think I need to, just as how a person doesn't need to play football at all.

Other Person's Response: If the world didn't have helping people, it would be a horrible place to live.

My Reply: But, there are plenty of helping people in the world. So, I don't see any need for me to be one of those people. But, let's pretend, even if I was the only person on this planet who got to live a nice, luxurious life, while the rest of humanity lived very difficult lives, filled with poverty and illness, I wouldn't need to help anyone in this world. Humanity can just help themselves, and help each other. I don't need to be a part of the picture. For example, if there was a team in this world, helping one another, then I don't need to be a part of that team.

Other Person's Response: I think the reason why you don't help humanity isn't because you're a cold psychopath. Rather, it's because you're like the rest of the world, and you live your life by a lower standard. You don't expect much from yourself, and you think you're good enough as an individual.

My Reply: Yes. There are many hedonists who just live for their own happiness, don't help humanity, and think they're decent human beings just the way they are.

Other Person's Response: You said you didn't want to help humanity, and that you just want to live for yourself. So, why should god, or these spiritual beings, help you out, nurture you, and protect you from life's hardships then?

My Reply: Because that's just what an all-loving being would do. Since positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful and worth living, then an all-loving being would see to it that human beings have their positive emotions preserved. Besides, it's not like I'm someone who's unworthy of being helped. I'm a kind, polite individual, and I think that's enough for me to be worthy of aid, nurture, and protection.

Other Person's Response: I think, if someone doesn't help humanity and contribute to the world, that bad karma will fall upon him.

My Reply: The universe just needs to appreciate human beings. Even though there are some people who don't help humanity and contribute to the world, there are still qualities about these people worth appreciating.

Other Person's Response: Do you help your family when they need your help?

My Reply: Yes. That's mandatory. But, I don't need to live my life, helping out humanity, since that's optional. My family is fine with me not helping humanity, and they appreciate me for who I am. Other families don't appreciate their sons and daughters like my family does. Instead, they expect things from them, and frown upon them if they don't meet these expectations. I think people need to learn to appreciate things more. Some people can't appreciate my writing, since they don't think it's good enough, and some people don't appreciate me as a human being either.

Other Person's Response: The very fact you help your family when they need help should be appreciated by other people, too.

My Reply: Yes. At least I'm not like some spoiled person who doesn't help his family.

Other Person's Response: Does your mother have any problems with you?

My Reply: Not that I know of. She's accepting of me, and appreciates me. But, she does have problems with other people, since they do things she doesn't like, such as leeching money off of her, or treating her with an attitude she doesn't like. Since I don't do anything like that, then that's why she has no issues with me.

Other Person's Response: Does your mother sometimes have high expectations of you?

My Reply: Actually, she gets a bit disappointed when I don't do something right, or when I don't do something that I was unaware I was supposed to do. She'll just need to understand that I'm not perfect, I can't hear her call my name every single time when she needs my help, I'm unaware and incapable of many things, and what she should expect from me is failure on many occasions. I can only do my best, and I can't meet her expectations all the time. Other than that, she doesn't have extremely high expectations of me, such as that of a slave-driving mother.

Other Person's Response: What do you do for a living? I'm just curious as to how much life experience you have.

My Reply: I do my hobbies, such as composing, and playing video games. I also ride with my mother to stores sometimes, and I also go to the gym to walk on the treadmill. That about summarizes my life. Some people would say I should be doing so much more with my life, such as learning new things, and putting myself through hardships for the sake of helping others. But, I'm not going to do any of those things. I'm just going to live the lifestyle I want to live.

Other Person's Response: I realize you're presenting all your arguments in an attempt to help people understand why god is the one to blame for all your pointless suffering. But, what if it's the opposite? What if you're the one to blame, and your suffering wasn't pointless?

My Reply: You're right. It could be the opposite. But, it just doesn't seem like it.

Other Person's Response: There will be some people who think like you. They'll think it was the fault of god, and these heavenly beings, for allowing you to go through all this pointless suffering. But, then you'll have people who'll just blame you. So, different people will have different views.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: People suffer, and some gain much compassion towards others. Their struggles make them more giving towards humanity. But, some people don't gain such benefits from their struggles. An example would be someone like you. This says to me suffering doesn't serve a grand purpose. It's just there, and you either benefit from it, or you don't.

My Reply: Right. So, there might be no god, or afterlife, and suffering just happens in a universe of pure chance. If suffering did serve some grand purpose, then I would've expected those people, who'd gain much benefit from suffering, to be the ones to suffer, while people, such as myself, wouldn't have suffered from miserable struggles, since they were pointless forms of suffering for us that were a waste of our lives. But, the universe doesn't work that way. It seems anyone could suffer, and some benefit, while others don't benefit from it.

Other Person's Response: In the distant future, I bet there will be cures for illnesses, including clinical depression. I bet there'd even be something that would instantly cure a person of an emotional crisis. So, that means, if you were suffering from this misery-inducing worry in the distant future, then you could purchase the cure, which would instantly rid of that misery-inducing worry, and bring you back to a state of joy again.

That would even include anyone else who suffers from misery-inducing worries that are as chronic and devastating as yours. They could just instantly cure themselves if they had the money to buy the cure. Given this, if god, and these heavenly beings, do exist, then it seems they just don't care. If someone suffers in this time period like you have, then they'd allow that person to suffer without healing him, and no cure being invented for him.

At the same time, if this person suffered in the distant future, then they'd allow that person to purchase a cure to instantly rid himself of his mental turmoil, so he can regain his positive experiences, and no longer has to remain in that miserable, suicidal state, which stripped him of all experiences of beauty, love, and joy. So, it seems to me they just don't care one way or the other what happens to humanity, and it seems suffering doesn't serve any grand purpose.

It's either there, and people bear with it in a time period where there's no cure for it. Or, it's there, and people can just cure it in the future. Given this, I think it's better to assume that god, and these heavenly beings, don't exist. A universe where humans are allowed to suffer, and no heavenly being intervenes, seems a lot like a meaningless universe of pure chance, and no grand purpose, where humans are just insignificant, transient life forms who only have one life to live.

My Reply: You're right. But, like I said, I still have to remain undecided on the existence of god, the supernatural, and the afterlife.

Other Person's Response: I heard there's a form of therapy that instantly relieves people of their emotional suffering. Here's a youtube link to it:

https://youtu.be/ficOFz_OKZg

It combines Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). If god inspired people to invent this technique, since he cares about humanity, and wants people to be healed of their mental suffering, including you, then he would've instantly relieved your suffering from the very beginning, including the suffering of so many other people, using his divine healing powers.

There's no need for him to inspire people to invent ways to relieve the suffering of others, when he can just directly, and instantly, heal those who are suffering. So, that says to me god, and these heavenly beings, don't care about the suffering of humanity, and it's instead other human beings who care, since they're the ones inventing these techniques, and finding other ways to relieve the suffering of others.

My Reply: Thanks for sharing. But, I tried that technique by following the instructions, and it didn't work for me. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong somehow.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I don't think god had you go through all this suffering for a good reason. He's just allowing you to suffer, since he doesn't care, and it's just up to you to rely on others to help you. It's also up to you to find ways to help yourself.

My Reply: Yes. If god had people go through such suffering for a good reason, then there'd be no cure for said suffering in the future. That says god allows suffering, since he doesn't care, and you're either lucky, and you get a cure for it, or you're unlucky, and have to live with it.

Other Person's Response: Since there are therapeutic methods that help speed up a person's recovery process from mental grief and agony, this already conveys a message, and that message would be: "You shouldn't have to suffer like this. There are things out there that can help you, so you don't have to suffer for so long." Given this message, why doesn't god just instantly cure someone of his mental turmoil? That would be an instant, full recovery right there!

My Reply: If god does exist, then think it's because he doesn't care, and it's instead other people who care, since they're the ones inventing ways to help speed up a person's recovery. Also, if god allows people to suffer for a very good reason, and that's his wish, then there wouldn't be methods out there to help ease suffering, since such methods would go against god's wish, and god wouldn't allow such methods to be invented. So, that says, if god does exist, then he doesn't allow suffering for a good reason. He just allows it because he doesn't care.

Other Person's Response: That all goes back to what you said earlier, which was: "If god allows suffering for a very good reason, then why would god allow cures to be discovered for said suffering?"

My Reply: Yes. It seems to me god just allows anything to happen.

Other Person's Response: I heard, from spiritual believers, that suffering exists for a good purpose, and that people, who have cancer, and other horrible forms of suffering, are going through all of this for a good reason. But, if that were the case, then wouldn't god, and these spiritual beings in the heavenly realms, prevent cures from being discovered? If all this suffering is so good, then why cure it? Why allow science to progress to the point where a utopia life is eventually created for us, where virtually all diseases and forms of suffering are eliminated?

It makes all that suffering seem pointless because people living in this future, utopia world would look back and wonder what was the point of going through all this suffering. If all that suffering was meant to be eliminated, then why go through it in the first place? Why did god allow it to exist to begin with? If god's plan was to create a utopia life for us, then why didn't he create one for us since the beginning of creation, rather than allowing science to eventually progress to the point where a utopia life is created for us, while so many people suffer in the meantime, waiting for cures?

My Reply: Another question to ask is: "If souls are here to learn and grow through suffering and disease, and this is the ultimate goal in life, then how would god, and these spiritual beings, respond once all that suffering and disease is eliminated in a future, utopia life?"

Other Person's Response: You're right when you say it would be wonderful if god instantly healed those in need of healing. Especially those who have little control over their emotions, and are very likely to harm themselves, and others, during an emotional crisis. By allowing these people to bear through their emotional crisis to the very end, that puts themselves and others at risk of being harmed. But, if their minds could instantly be healed, then that risk would be gone.

My Reply: Exactly. Sure, those people might still be a risk to themselves and others, even in their fully recovered state of mind, since they might feel joy in doing risky things. But, at least their emotional crisis would've been gone, which would've posed a serious risk of harm. I, myself, have felt violently enraged so many times during each one of my emotional crises. Fortunately, I never acted out on those feelings. The less control you have over your emotions, the more likely it is you'll harm yourself and/or others. So, the very fact I never harmed myself or others shows I do have some control. But, let's pretend I hardly had any control at all. It would've been god's fault for not healing my mind of an emotional crisis, and allowing me to harm myself and/or others.

Other Person's Response: If you felt violently enraged, and killed someone, then god would allow you to remain in prison. So, not only does god allow you to suffer so much, but he'd also allow you to live your life in prison.

My Reply: Yes. He really doesn't care about me (if he does exist). If he's so loving and caring, not only would he heal my mind of suffering, so I can be happy again, but also so I could avoid the risk of going to prison. The only thing that puts me at risk of going to prison is an emotional crisis, since that's the only time I feel violently enraged. Other than that, I'm a very polite person who's not at risk of committing any crimes. I obey the laws of society, and conduct myself in a moral fashion.

Other Person's Response: Like you said though, you're not going to act out on those violent feelings, are you?

My Reply: I'm not. So, I don't think anyone has to worry about me going to prison.

Other Person's Response: I heard you had a composing dream to live for. Apparently, god doesn't care about that either, since he allows you to remain in a miserable state, where you can't enjoy your composing. Furthermore, if you went to prison because you killed someone, due to a feeling of violent rage that occurred during an ongoing emotional crisis, god wouldn't care that you could no longer pursue your composing dream, and had to live your life in prison. So, I think this says that whatever talents or goals we have are things god doesn't care about.

My Reply: Yes. So, amazingly talented people, who say they're blessed by god with a talent to pursue, might be wrong. Sure, they have an amazing talent. But, that doesn't mean it was a divine talent that was bestowed by a loving god who ensures that these talented individuals achieve their goals. So, this says to me human beings are just here, and there's no grand purpose to life. Nobody is destined to achieve goals, which means god doesn't ensure that we achieve our goals. Some people are lucky, and manage to achieve their goals and dreams, while others are plain unlucky. So, this seems like a universe of luck, rather than destiny, or a grand purpose. Given this, god might not exist, and this really is the meaningless universe skeptics always talk about.

Other Person's Response: So, that means people, who have amazing talents and goals, aren't chosen by god. If they were, then god would care about them, their talents, and goals, and he'd ensure they achieve their goals and dreams.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: In regards to god not healing suffering people, if there was a loving parent who had healing abilities, then he'd heal a suffering child in need of healing. So, the very fact god doesn't heal those in need of healing, must mean he's not a loving god.

My Reply: You're right. That's assuming if god does exist.

Other Person's Response: I believe god, and these heavenly beings, exist. But, I don't think they allow suffering for any good reason. This Earthly existence is simply a domain of free will, where they don't intervene, and they allow people to make whatever choices they make in whatever circumstances they face.

My Reply: It seems they just don't care about humanity then, since they don't intervene. So, you can see why this whole idea of Earth being a domain of free will, where god, and these heavenly beings, don't intervene, clearly depicts them as unloving beings. I'll give another example that gives this depiction. In my example with the talented singer who permanently lost her voice, that's like a big middle finger to her, and it's like saying to her: "I don't care about you, and I'm not going to restore your voice, even when I have the power to. Just use your free will to do something else with your life because you're not ever going to be a singer again."

Other Person's Response: Suffering is allowed because it erases sin, and raises our level of consciousness.

My Reply: If that's the purpose of suffering, then why allow cures to be discovered for suffering?

Other Person's Response: I think god allows suffering because it has to do with karma. If we inflicted suffering upon someone in a previous life, then the moment we reincarnate, we must suffer in this lifetime.

My Reply: Again, if that's the reason why he allows suffering, then why does he allow cures for suffering? A future utopia life, where all suffering has been eliminated through cures, contradicts this purpose of suffering you put forth, as well as any other purpose put forth as to why god allows suffering.

Other Person's Response: I'd contend there's no contradiction. An all knowing God, omniscient God, knows the fallen nature of humanity will include self-destructive behaviors that lead to suffering. That knowledge would also include humanity contracting diseases, like cancer.

The Creator insured a means of healing so as to address those maladies. Inspiring minds to invent medicinal remedies after Creator gave us plants and herbs for healing naturally.

Christian Scientists don't believe in physician assistance. They think prayer will solve all their ills. But what if God created science and doctors so that those would serve as an answer to those prayers.

My Reply: Again, there's no need for all of that when god is all powerful, and can instantly heal all suffering people in need of healing in the blink of an eye.

Other Person's Response:

Again, there's no need for all of that when god is all powerful, and can instantly heal all suffering people in need of healing in the blink of an eye.

Completely agree. I hate to see people suffer in a lot of pain emotionally. For example, there’s no reason my sister should be going through what she's going through right now. If I had the opportunity, I’d erase her problems, and the problems of anyone else in need of their problems erased.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I think god should imbue human beings with his energy around them. It would be an aura that would protect them, and would heal them of any illness or suffering they have.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: If an amazingly talented singer permanently lost her voice, and god didn't restore it, I'd actually consider that a blessing because there's so much problems when a person, who has an amazing talent, enters into fame, fortune, stardom, being idolized, etc. It's best to just keep a low profile.

My Reply: But, what about a talented singer who doesn't want to sing for any fame, fortune, etc., and would never enter into fame, fortune, etc.? If she just wishes to sing privately because she likes to do it as a hobby, and finds it profoundly beautiful, then it would be a blessing for god to restore her voice if she permanently lost it. As a side note, few people enter into fame, fortune, etc.

Other Person's Response: I think you were right when you said earlier that your miserable struggles were pointless, unnecessary hardships because, not only is god, and these heavenly beings, allowing suffering for no grand purpose, but all your misery didn't result in you obtaining something that was worth all that mental suffering.

My Reply: Exactly.

Other Person's Response: I believe in god. But, I don't think he's a being who's allowing suffering because, if he was, then there'd be the contradictions you've pointed out earlier, such as god allowing suffering, and allowing cures for suffering. I think god is literally everything, and all circumstances that occur.

My Reply: Many people, who have heavenly trips during their near death experience, report meeting god, who's an actual being of light. In addition, these people meet heavenly beings.

Other Person's Response: If you had the choice, would you violently threaten god, and these heavenly beings, to heal you of the mental suffering you've gone through?

My Reply: Yes, because they don't seem to care about me, and allow me to suffer.

Other Person's Response: Even if god wasn't allowing your suffering for a good reason, you would, at least, have gained something by trying to help ease your mental suffering through therapy. You would've gained the benefits certain therapeutic methods offer, such as having more control over your thoughts and emotions, learning relaxing exercises, etc.

My Reply: Again, all that mental suffering wasn't worth obtaining these benefits. It would be like earning a crumb after having gone through years of mental turmoil.

Other Person's Response: I think god, and these heavenly beings, inspire scientists to create cures.

My Reply: There's no need for them to do that when they already have the power to instantly heal people of all illnesses and forms of suffering. But, since they're not healing anybody, then I don't think they're inspiring scientists either. So, they just don't care about humanity, and don't intervene.

Other Person's Response: What about people with healing abilities who can heal people of illnesses?

My Reply: There's still no need for god, and these heavenly beings, to bestow healing abilities upon certain people, when they have the power to heal people themselves.

Other Person's Response: It could be the case that healing abilities are fake, and many people believe this crap.

My Reply: You could be right, which means people, such as spiritual healers, don't really have these healing abilities. But, if they do, then such abilities might be a natural phenomenon, and not a divine gift that's been bestowed by god, or heavenly beings.

Other Person's Response:

It seems to me they don't care about humanity, and they allow anything to happen. They don't intervene, and they just allow life to play out.

Adversity breeds invention. If there was no adversity, wouldn't you just sit back and enjoy the ride? The cure is reached through the struggle to attain knowledge. Cure is the goal. Suffering is not. Have you noticed, when a disease is cured, that a new disease pops up from somewhere? The next lesson continues moving us forward. God has placed a limit on pain. The body goes into shock when it reaches a certain level.

So many times in life, we don't get life as we want it. Our narrow view sometimes brings us to focus on one thing, rather than the Big Picture. Furthermore, this world contains many many people learning their lessons. The dynamics of it all are amazing. There is a lot to consider. As I see it, God will give a person anything, unless it interferes with their lessons, or the lessons of another. Adapt, learn, grow.

If we can't have something, go for something we can have, or get someone else something they need. The possibilities are limitless. If a singer can no longer sing, perhaps she can create music making sound. Perhaps she can advance computer generated singing. The avenues of creating are moved. But, there's always a way to move forward in some way. Who said anyone should give up? Not here, my friend. Life is about living, and forward is the only way.

My Reply: I consider what's the better, loving solution an all-loving god would implement. Would it really be the better, loving solution to allow humanity to go through this whole process of suffering and finding cures? Or, would it be the better, loving solution for god to just instantly heal those in need of healing? I think the latter solution is the better, loving one. Especially considering there are miserable people who are suicidal for many years, even with ongoing treatment, and are in need of mental healing.

Also, in regards to goals and dreams, if that singer permanently lost her voice, she might not have any interest in creating music. Sure, she might find an interest in doing another hobby. But, her singing hobby might always be the one hobby she has most interest in, and sees as the most beautiful. Now, she can no longer pursue that hobby, since god won't heal her voice. As a matter of fact, it could be an even worse scenario. She might not have an interest in any other hobby, no matter how much she tries other hobbies, and her singing hobby is the one and only hobby she has interest in.

Other Person's Response: Could you show me an example of someone who thinks like you (i.e. someone who thinks this Earthly existence is pointless, that there are pointless forms of suffering, and that it would be better if all souls remained in heaven)?

My Reply: Sure. It's an entire topic I'll link you to. The person who made this topic, on a spiritual forum, isn't me. It's someone who sort of has the same views as me:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showt ... p?t=118755

Other Person's Response: I heard there are spiritual beings, such as Jesters, and Machine Elves. Perhaps they're pranksters, who play a cruel joke on us, by having souls be here on Earth, where they go through pointless forms of suffering, and have to reincarnate on Earth many times.

My Reply: That could be.

Other Person's Response: There are many people with amazing talents, and great goals to achieve, only to find themselves in a position where they lose everything. For example, a person can have an amazing singing voice, but permanently lose his voice. If you listened to the song "In the End" by Linkin Park, you'll get the idea. This says to me life's a cruel joke.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: You say your miserable struggles were a pointless waste of your life, and nothing more. Well, I think you writing all these packets is just a pointless waste of your life, and nothing more.

My Reply: I don't think so. I think it's material well worth sharing.

Other Person's Response: I'm just curious. Were you really waiting for god, or these heavenly beings, to heal you of this misery-inducing worry you've had?

My Reply: No. If god, and these beings, do exist, then I knew they wouldn't heal me, even though I do think they should've healed me. So, I was really waiting for my brain to fully recover on its own. I gave up after trying some things to help speed up my recovery process, since it just wasn't working for me. Especially since my therapist is telling me that the best thing I can do is to focus on my daily activities, and allow the worry to resolve on its own over time (i.e. to just let my brain fully recover on its own). But, perhaps I shouldn't give up so easily, and see if there's something more that can be done for me.

Other Person's Response: The goal of meditation is to help relax your mind, which would get you to a state of full recovery faster, so that you have your joy back to you again, and no longer have to be in a state of suffering any longer. So, meditation would offer you a form of spiritual growth, which would be to overcome your suffering. But, even if you didn't do meditation, and allowed your psyche to fully recover on its own, that's still a form of spiritual growth, since you're still overcoming your suffering.

My Reply: I think it would be better if I didn't have such suffering to begin with. That way, there'd be no horrible, miserable state to recover from.

Other Person's Response: I think you'll look back and see just how necessary and worthwhile your miserable struggles were. I think it was worth going through all that suffering, and people often times look back at their struggles, and come to realize just how beautiful they really were.

My Reply: I don't think that will ever be the case with me.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your hedonistic philosophy, the astral plane (the plane corresponding to the emotional body) is considered as the plane of duality. It is, therefore, difficult to only feel positive emotions without also feeling so-called negative emotions. The yogic path teaches the cultivation of emotional serenity, so that we become free from all emotions.

This does not make us cold and uncaring. Qualities, such as love, compassion, joy, and humor, are not considered as emotional states. Instead, these are seen as qualities of the Soul, or Consciousness. When the emotional body is serene and still, then these Soul qualities can be expressed without distortion.

I would suggest that consciousness is beyond all intellect and emotions. The qualities of beauty, joy, love, compassion, etc. arise spontaneously out of consciousness. These qualities may be reflected on an intellectual and emotional level. But, these are just reflections.

My Reply: If that's the case, then I'd need a new personal experience to convince me that my emotions aren't the only way I can experience beauty, joy, love, horror, disgust, tragedy, etc. Who knows, it could be the case that these qualities are being ruled and dictated by my emotions. This means that, for me, I really am experiencing these qualities through my emotions, and have yet to experience them through my Soul, or Consciousness. After all, I need to experience these qualities somehow, someway to give my life beauty, joy, greatness, etc. My current way of experiencing them would be through my emotions.

Other Person's Response: Do you think your miserable struggles were not only pointless, but unnecessary?

My Reply: Yes. It would be like having unnecessary grime on a nice vehicle. The grime was meant to be removed, just as how all my misery was meant to be removed out of my life. It would be better off if that vehicle remained polished and clean, and never had any grime on it to begin with, just as how it would be better off if I never had those miserable struggles to begin with.

Other Person's Response: If your philosophy is correct, and the goal in life should be to live the happiest life we can, then having misery really is like unnecessary grime. It just doesn't belong.

My Reply: Yes.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 11/26)

Other Person's Response: So, you treat your miserable struggles as being an aspect of your being, and existence, to be eradicated?

My Reply: Yes. I need to become a beautiful, joyful being of light who lives a beautiful, joyful existence.

Other Person's Response: You say there are specific worries and thoughts that caused you to be miserable. But, other than that, do you feel stress and misery from other thoughts and worries that people normally have, such as work that needs to be done, chores, etc.

My Reply: No. As a matter of fact, I don't have other worries and negative thoughts besides those specific ones I've had, which means those are really the only negative thoughts and worries I had that caused me stress and misery. An example of one of them would be my worry in regards to near death experiences. I talk about it in this packet. It was a devastating worry for me.

Other Person's Response: During your miserable struggles, do things that are normally beautiful to people become horrible, tragic, disturbing, etc. to you, and cause you nightmares?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Could you give me an example of something that's normally beautiful to people, causing you nightmares?

My Reply: Sure. I was listening to a Buddhist mantra that's said to ease mental suffering, so I could ease the worry I was having. There's a woman with a lovely singing voice, and the mantra is supposed to be beautiful. But, it caused me nightmares when I listened to it while asleep. I even felt horror from it in the middle of the night, when I woke up during my sleep. But, I'm still listening to it anyway because, who knows, it might speed up my recovery. However, when I listen to this mantra throughout the day, it doesn't cause me to feel horror, or any other negative emotion.

Since I'm close to a full recovery, then I actually feel a bit of beauty and relaxation from it when I'm awake during the day. So, my positive emotions are starting to slowly return, since I'm feeling that way a bit. But, again, when I listen to it while sleeping, it causes me nightmares. I heard the mantra in one of my nightmares, and it was a horrific experience for me. If this worry were to be all gone completely, then I'm quite sure listening to the mantra would give me beautiful, peaceful dreams.

Other Person's Response: I, myself, have felt horror on many occasions, and I love that feeling! Horror is a very positive experience for me!

My Reply: No. Horror is still a negative experience. It can only be the positive emotions you feel from the horror that are the positive experiences for you. Feeling love (a positive emotion) is also the only way you can love your feeling of horror.

Other Person's Response: For me, positive emotions can be negative experiences. When I feel attraction towards that gal working out, it's embarrassing, and I become ashamed.

My Reply: That feeling of attraction was still a positive experience for you. But, feeling that positive emotion then made you feel a negative emotion, which would be that feeling of shame and embarrassment. That negative emotion was the negative experience for you.

Other Person's Response: You say you sometimes feel beauty and relaxation in regards to this mantra. Do you also sometimes feel like the song is meaningless noise, due to this misery-inducing worry of yours, rendering things in your life morbidly stripped of any experience of beauty, joy, and greatness?

My Reply: Yes. As a matter of fact, this is how I mostly feel about the mantra as of now. But, like I said, over time, that misery fades more and more at a very slow, gradual rate, since my psyche is recovering on its own at a very slow, gradual rate.

Other Person's Response: During this miserable struggle of yours, is there a negative, morbid thought there, making you perceive songs as meaningless noise, morbidly stripped of beauty and greatness?

My Reply: Yes. That negative thought causes me to feel misery, and it's this misery which is that morbid perception/experience.

Other Person's Response: Are you sure listening to that mantra isn't speeding up your recovery?

My Reply: I don't notice that. But, I'll still keep on listening to it, along with a few other mantras meant for stress, worry, and mental suffering. Just so you know, I also listened to those mantras, too. But, I didn't notice anything. So, I'll just keep listening to them, in addition to the other mantra.

Other Person's Response: If the mantra really does work, then does it have to be beautiful to a person in order for it to work? Or, can a person be in a very hopeless state, where everything in his life, including the mantra, is morbidly empty and meaningless to him, but the mantra still works to heal his mental despair?

My Reply: I'm not sure.

Other Person's Response: I think there are healing sound frequencies you can listen to, which are claimed to ease stress and worry. I think they're called the Solfeggio frequencies.

My Reply: I have listened to them. But, I didn't notice a faster recovery from this worry. I'll still listen to them anyway.

Other Person's Response: In regards to this worry of yours, and using methods to help recover from it, I think you should be using methods that have been known to work in both a purely naturalistic worldview (a worldview that says this is the only life we have), and a spiritual worldview (a worldview that says we're souls who live on in the afterlife). For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been known to work, according to both skeptics, and spiritual believers.

But, if you just use methods that spiritual believers think work, but skeptics think are woo/bull shit, then you might be using methods that don't work, since this might be the only life there is. That means you shouldn't be using methods, such as Solfeggio frequencies, since this is something only spiritual believers think works. You also shouldn't be using methods that skeptics think work, but spiritual believers don't.

My Reply: Since I'm undecided on the existence of the afterlife, then I'm taking your advice, since it's the wise thing to do.

Other Person's Response: When you do fully recover from this misery-inducing worry, and have your joy back to you, are you still going to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

My Reply: No, because I don't need to. Neither would I need to do meditation. Once I'm fully recovered from this worry, I don't think I'll have anymore misery. So, I'll be just fine.

Other Person's Response: But, I think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and meditation can help change your philosophy.

My Reply: I'm not sure about this one. But, as long as I have my positive emotions intact, I wouldn't need to change my philosophy anyway.

Other Person's Response: The very fact you've never tried to change your philosophy must mean you were able to constantly enjoy your life and hobbies.

My Reply: That's correct. That means, many years ago, I was a very lucky person, since I hardly had any stress in my life, and there was nothing else that took my positive emotions away. That's how I lived my life for many years. Some people are lucky like that. They get to have all the happiness, or riches in the world, and nothing takes it away from them. But, later on in my life, I struggled with much misery, and that took my positive emotions away.

During these struggles, I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. My medication didn't help me, which means I really didn't know what to do at that point. Especially since my mother isn't that smart, and only gives ordinary advice. But, I later saw a therapist who doesn't really help me (although, he's a very kind person). So, I've just gotten through these miserable struggles on my own. This recent struggle was the worst of them all.

Other Person's Response: There are many people who are unlucky, since positive emotions are very fleeting for them. So, I'm surprised you were one of the lucky ones.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: As a person continues to suffer more and more misery by his own negative thoughts and worries, eventually, he no longer has anymore misery-inducing thoughts or worries.

My Reply: Yes. I eventually learned, on my own, to stop having those negative thoughts and worries if I want to live the happy life I used to live. My struggles have also taught me a lot about just how precious happiness is, and I'm sharing these teachings in my packets.

Other Person's Response: Your predicament would be like a rich person, losing his riches, just to learn how important it is to be rich, and learning that being rich is the only thing that makes life good and beautiful. That wasn't the life lesson he was supposed to learn. You've learned just how important happiness is, after having lost your happiness, and you've learned that happiness is the only thing that makes life good and beautiful. So, I don't think you've learned the right lesson either.

My Reply: But, I've learned to stop having negative thoughts and worries in order to prevent further suffering, and I think that was the right life lesson to learn. Even Buddhists talk about eradicating suffering.

Other Person's Response: If a person loses his riches, then not only is he supposed to be accepting of his loss, but he should find himself transformed as an individual. He should become selfless, giving, and no longer concerned about being rich. So, when you've lost your positive emotions, you should've been accepting of your loss, and transformed as an individual.

My Reply: Sometimes, it can be the case that a rich person becomes accepting of his loss of riches, but is still self-centered, and wishes to seek riches. So, it's possible for a person to reach the stage of acceptance, but not the stage of transformation. As for me, if I were to lose my positive emotions, I'd be accepting of that, and I'd try to find ways to restore them. If there's more positivity to life than positive emotions, and I just haven't experienced it, then it seems I haven't transformed as an individual. Also, my struggles haven't made me selfless and giving. They were just horrible struggles I endured to the very end.

Other Person's Response: When you have miserable struggles that are triggered by devastating worries and negative thoughts, you're not accepting of that, are you?

My Reply: I'm not accepting of that. At least when I'm apathetic, I just don't care about anything. But, those miserable struggles are a state of mental turmoil, and I won't accept that.

Other Person's Response: If you were apathetic, then you wouldn't even have the desire to regain your positive emotions.

My Reply: That's right. But, I'd still choose to try to regain them anyway.

Other Person's Response: As time goes on, you recover more and more from this misery-inducing worry. Not only should you recover more as time progresses, but your rate of recovery should speed up because, when you're very miserable at first, your brain is in a very horrible, unhealthy state. Thus, your rate of recovery will be slow. Other functions will also be slow, such as your ability to think, concentrate, etc. But, as time goes on, those functions should speed up, along with your rate of recovery.

My Reply: Although I've noticed an improvement in my ability to think, make sense of things, etc. as time goes on, I haven't noticed my rate of recovery speeding up. It seems I'm just recovering at the same, slow, gradual rate.

Other Person's Response:

Well, I think I'm a decent human being just the way I am, which means god should see me as worthy of being healed/assisted.

God only helps those who help themselves. If you're going to stick in your mentality rut (this is a mentality. Not spirituality, by the way), then God thinks you're enjoying it there because you're not doing anything about it. If you always do what you've always done, you'll only get what you've always got.

My Reply: Like I said, I was trying to find ways to help ease this misery-inducing worry of mine. But, nothing helped me, and my therapist is unable to help me. So, I had to let my psyche fully recover on its own, and it was a long time to wait. Also, god is an all-knowing being, which means he'd know I'm not enjoying being stuck in that pit of misery, and he'd know everything about me, including all my thoughts, my inner turmoil, and that I was expecting him to heal me. I can't enjoy anything without my feelings of joy anyway (which were shut off during this whole miserable struggle).

In regards to god only helping those who help themselves, it would be unloving for god to not heal me of this worry, even if I wasn't trying to find ways to help myself. An all-loving god would see that I'm suffering, need healing, and instantly heal me, regardless if I was trying to help myself or not. Also, there are plenty of suicidal and miserable people out there who need mental healing, but think it's hopeless to even try to help themselves, and they've given up, and think nothing will help them. So, an all-loving god would understand this, and heal these people anyway. Yet, he doesn't, which means he doesn't exist, or he's not all-loving.

Other Person's Response: You say your therapist is unable to help you, and is just letting you wait until your psyche fully recovers on its own. Personally, I think you've been waiting way too long, and that something needs to be done to get you to that state of full recovery you need to be in.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: The heavenly beings are also all-knowing beings, aren't they?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps god, and these heavenly beings, are all-knowing beings, but aren't all-loving beings.

My Reply: That could be (if they even exist).

Other Person's Response: If you meet god, and these heavenly beings, after the death of your physical body, what if they say something you don't like, such as that they didn't have to cater to you by ensuring your happiness, and healing you of this misery-inducing worry you've had?

My Reply: Then I'd slaughter them, since I'd have nothing but hate for them. If they allowed me to go through pointless, unnecessary suffering, and they just didn't want to heal me, then they're not innocent, all-loving beings in my eyes. If I slaughter them, then that would prevent them from sending me to Earth again in a new human body. I don't want to be on Earth again, since, like I said, it's an unhappy place to be, and there's much suffering. Therefore, I'd choose to remain in heaven, where I can have all the joy I want.

Other Person's Response: I agree god, and these heavenly beings, would need to be slaughtered because their plan and purpose for you goes against your desire to live a life of happiness. Life's all about the positive experiences (positive emotions), as you said earlier. So, by them sending you to Earth again and again, they're just sending you back to an unhappy place.

Furthermore, if you have miserable struggles again when you reincarnate into a new human body, god, and these heavenly beings, would allow you to suffer, and wouldn't heal you. If, under any circumstance, you lose your positive emotions, god, and these heavenly beings, won't restore them for you.

Who knows, you could reincarnate into a human body, and that body has a brain with a depressive illness. You might struggle with that depression much of your life, and be driven to suicide, just like so many other folks out there who struggle with clinical depression. So, to me, it seems god, and these heavenly beings, are doing you a major disservice.

My Reply: I agree, and there are many mental illnesses that can take away positive emotions. That means there'd be many human bodies I'd reincarnate into that would lose their positive emotions, due to mental illnesses.

Other Person's Response: There are people who struggle with treatment resistant depression, since no treatment works for them. People also struggle with a chronic absence of positive emotions, and no treatment seems to help them either.

My Reply: You're right.

Other Person's Response: Once you're fully recovered from this misery-inducing worry, that means you should no longer feel negative emotions, such as misery or rage. So, even if god, and these heavenly beings, are doing you a major disservice, you'd no longer feel enraged about that.

My Reply: That's right. But, I'd still slaughter them, even if I was feeling happy. Like I said, I can still make certain choices, regardless of how I feel. That's why I'd still choose to slaughter them, even if I no longer felt angry at them.

Other Person's Response: I see you think it's cruel and unjust for god, and these heavenly beings, to have allowed you to suffer so much. If your soul meets them in heaven after the death of your physical body, then you should only harm them if you're absolutely sure they're your enemies. But, if they are allies, who've allowed you to go through all that suffering for a very good reason, then don't harm them.

My Reply: Understood. Many people see them as enemies, since they allow so much suffering. They could be right. Or, maybe, these people just have a huge misunderstanding.

Other Person's Response: You said god is an all-loving being, and that we receive his light through our positive thoughts and beliefs, which allows us to experience his light in the form of positive emotions. Perhaps it would be your own personal light received and experienced, since god clearly isn't an all-loving being, and he's doing you a major disservice.

My Reply: You could be right.

Other Person's Response: How would you slaughter god though? He's just a ball of light, or an invisible being.

My Reply: I'm not sure. But, if god's not an actual being, and he's just a ball of light, then there'd be no need to feel angry at god, or slaughter him, since it would be no different than me being angry at water, and slamming my fists into that water.

Other Person's Response: Not only are there heavenly beings, but there are hellish beings. These hellish beings bring bad karma into our lives, and they bring so much hate and suffering into this world, all the while remaining unseen. Maybe that's why you've had so many miserable struggles. So, you should really slaughter these hellish beings, rather than the heavenly beings.

My Reply: I'd slaughter both. I'd slaughter the hellish beings for having brought so much suffering into my life, and I'd slaughter the heavenly beings for allowing me to go through all that suffering, and having me sent to Earth.

Other Person's Response: I realize it was your own unhealthy thoughts that brought all that misery upon you. But, perhaps there were hellish beings at work as well, bringing the situations into your life that would trigger your misery. For example, if someone had the thought in his mind that losing his loved one would be the most devastating thing, then these hellish beings might try to find ways to kill his loved one, just to devastate him. Perhaps these beings would cause bad karma, which would create a situation where a serial killer comes in, and kills the loved one.

My Reply: Yes. In regards to this devastating worry of mine, I first had the idea in my mind that it would be horrible if I experienced something worse than those crippled nightmare states, while in a fully lucid state. I later read up on near death experiences, since I was wanting to have hope in the afterlife.

But, I read about hellish near death experiences, and that's the moment I became devastated, since people have horrible trips, where they experience something much worse than even their worst nightmares. They have these experiences in a hyper lucid state.

So, perhaps it was these beings bringing bad karma into my life, which created a situation where I read up on hellish near death experiences, which then devastated me. That means it was a trap I fell right into. I fell into a trap of mental agony and despair, and remained there for quite some time.

Other Person's Response: In regards to therapeutic methods, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, maybe none of these methods would've helped this misery-inducing worry, since your predicament was such a severe case. So, you might've had no choice but to let your psyche recover on its own.

My Reply: That could be. I really don't know. My brain was tightly jammed (stuck) on the worry 24/7 everyday, since it was such a horrible worry, and I'm not sure any therapeutic method could help something as severe as this. Even though I've read that CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) has worked for many people, and hasn't worked for some people, I'm not sure if it would work for me.

Other Person's Response: Well, I'm glad you discovered CBT. Perhaps you could use it.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: CBT is meant for average people who wish to replace unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones. I'm not sure it would work for people in severe predicaments, such as those who've suffered from an emotional trauma. Your misery-inducing worry was a devastating worry for you, it emotionally traumatized you, and your subconscious mind has a powerful, firm grip on that worry, since it's such a troubling worry. So, I'm not sure CBT would work for you.

My Reply: Perhaps you're right.

Other Person's Response: If CBT doesn't work for you, then that leaves you with another option, which would be meditation. That will help calm down that chronically active worry response in your brain. Meditation should get you to a full recovery faster than just waiting this whole thing out.

My Reply: Thanks for the tip!

Other Person's Response: Mindfulness meditation just shifts your conscious focus on the present moment. But, you've already been consciously focusing on your daily activities, and other things during your entire recovery time (which was about 3 years), which means I'd consider that to be its own form of mindfulness. Yet, subconsciously, your brain still remains firmly stuck on this misery-inducing worry, and it's still taking you an extremely long time to recover from it. So, I'm not sure mindfulness would help you, since it doesn't matter how much you consciously focus on other things, whether it be the present moment, your daily activities, etc. It's not going to speed up your recovery one bit.

My Reply: Perhaps you're right. So, maybe, consciously focusing on other things doesn't help me at all, and it just was my psyche recovering on its own that was easing this misery-inducing worry over time.

Other Person's Response: I get what you're saying. It's a long route to get to that state of joy again, and you're wondering why god, and these heavenly beings, are allowing you to take that long route, when they could just instantly heal your mind.

My Reply: Exactly. Also, I did discover a therapy, known as TRE (Trauma Release Exercise), which uses tremors to ease the mind of stress, worry, and psychological distress. So, instead of me having to tremor my way to a full recovery (if this therapy even works for me), god, or these heavenly beings, could've instantly healed my mind. It seems unnecessary and absurd for me to go through all that.

Other Person's Response: I think you'd need to see a professional who specializes in TRE, and that might cost you a lot of money.

My Reply: My mother doesn't have that money. So, perhaps I could just watch youtube videos on how I can perform this therapy on myself. You can't just tremor. There are specific steps to follow. If you don't follow them exactly, then it won't work.

Other Person's Response: If god, or these heavenly beings, instantly healed the minds of those with psychological distress, then that would save these people a lot of time and money. They wouldn't need to spend any money on therapies, and commit so much time and effort.

My Reply: Exactly. There are many people who go through the frustrating trial and error process of finding what therapy works for them, and it would save them all that frustration if their minds could just be healed instantly. Not only that, there are many therapists who don't do a good job, and don't care that much about the patients.

Other Person's Response: Does this worry of yours naturally cause you to tremor?

My Reply: No. Since I don't feel any anxiety or panic from this worry, then I don't have any nervous tremors. This worry just causes me other negative emotions besides anxiety and panic, such as misery, rage, disgust, etc.

Other Person's Response: When trying any therapeutic method to help yourself, whether it be CBT, meditation, TRE, etc., you must be good at following instructions, understanding things, remembering things, and doing certain tasks.

My Reply: That's my weak point though. Normally, I don't feel frustration and rage when I have a difficult time understanding something, remembering something, following instructions, or when I don't do something right. But, during an emotional crisis, I feel extreme, violent rage about this, and I feel the desire to give up right then and there on these therapeutic methods. So, perhaps it's best I find something that can ease my mind that's not going to make me feel rage. Perhaps there's some relaxing music I can listen to that would ease my worry over time. Listening to music doesn't require me to understand any material, follow instructions, remember things, or be good at doing certain tasks. I can just sit back and listen.

Other Person's Response: Are you saying you're not going to try CBT, meditation, or any other therapeutic method, since they're demanding tasks that would make you feel rage?

My Reply: Yes. Since that worry is there, making me feel all sorts of negative emotions, then I'd feel rage when trying these methods. Again, I can't help but feel this extreme rage and desire to give up when I'm having a devastating worry in my life.

Other Person's Response: So, even though you're near a full recovery, you still feel rage, due to this worry still being there?

My Reply: Yes. Once it's gone, I don't think I'll feel any rage.

Other Person's Response: I heard you have autism, and that you had delayed speech when you was a child. Having this mental disability would certainly make it difficult for you when it comes to demanding tasks, such as CBT, meditation, etc.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I don't think there's anything else that's really going to help ease this worry besides those therapeutic methods. It's a severe, devastating worry, and listening to relaxing music simply isn't going to help it.

My Reply: Then god, and these heavenly beings, should see that I've given up on those therapeutic methods, and they should instantly heal my mind of this worry.

Other Person's Response: When you feel rage, that will certainly make it much more difficult for you to understand things, remember things, follow instructions, etc. Not only that, but you'll find yourself giving up, when you shouldn't be giving up. So, perhaps you could do those therapeutic methods in such a way that doesn't bring you rage. Perhaps you could just think to yourself that it doesn't matter if you don't get things right the first time because everyone fails, and it takes practice.

My Reply: When I wish to achieve something, but am not achieving it, then that causes me to feel rage during a devastating moment in my life. Again, normally, that wouldn't make me feel any rage. But, maybe I can have the thought of having no desire to achieve anything. That way, when I fail, that won't make me feel rage. So, perhaps I can try to follow instructions in regards to any therapeutic method, but have the thought of not caring if I achieve or fail. Also, you're right when you say that having rage makes it more difficult for me to understand things, remember things, etc. I find that, when my mind is at ease, I'm able to understand things, remember things, etc. much better.

Other Person's Response: You've given up on your hobbies, since you don't have your positive emotions. So, you might as well spend all your time trying to find ways to help ease this worry, so your positive emotions can be restored. For example, if meditation really is what could help you best, then you might as well spend all your time meditating, until you reach that state of joy you need to be in.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: When doing therapeutic methods, is it easier for you to do physical exercises, such as following instructions in regards to TRE, which instructs you to stretch, bend over, etc.? Or, is it easier for you to do mental exercises, such as following instructions on mindfulness meditation, which instructs you to visualize, focus on the present, etc.?

My Reply: It's easier for me to do physical exercises.

Other Person's Response: I realize it's a very long wait for you to fully recover from this misery-inducing worry. Do you wish you could just go unconscious, and remain that way for as long as you wish, so you could wake up many months later, or however much longer you need to wait to fully recover? That way, you wouldn't have to experience all this waiting, and you could just be unconscious during that whole time.

My Reply: I wish I could do that. That would allow me to wake up one day, fully recovered. I'd prefer a dreamless, unconscious state, since I don't want to have any nightmares from this worry.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps you just need more control over your thoughts and emotions. Maybe this will give you a better philosophy to live by, and give you positive experiences, even during moments of worry.

My Reply: Well, I've been choosing to not act out on my feelings, whether they be rage or misery. I just bore through them. So, I was exhibiting some control over them. Still, that did nothing to change my philosophy, or allow me to have positive experiences during this devastating worry.

Other Person's Response: I think you should allow yourself to feel all those negative emotions that result from this worry, such as misery, rage, disgust, etc. By resisting those emotions, you're only prolonging your recovery time. So, the more you allow yourself to feel those emotions, the quicker you should reach a full recovery. Here's a video, which explains:

https://youtu.be/1zMZoO9296s

My Reply: I am allowing myself to feel all those negative emotions, just as how I did with all my other miserable struggles. It only took a few months to recover from all those other miserable struggles and emotional traumas. But, it's taking over 3 years to fully recover from this emotional crisis.

Other Person's Response: As you recover more and more from this misery-inducing worry, if a person were to ask you how you're doing, that's really no different than asking how's your perspective doing because, when we talk about how well your mind is doing, that's the same thing as talking about how well your perspective is. If you're having a morbid perspective, then that says your mind is still not doing well. But, if you have a joyful perspective, then that says your mind is doing well. If you're having an apathetic perspective, then that says you're nearing a state of joy, but not quite there yet.

My Reply: I agree, and I'm nearing a state of joy.

Other Person's Response: I heard this misery-inducing worry has caused you to feel many horrible, negative emotions all throughout the day each day for almost 3 years, and that these negative emotions have slowly subsided over the course of that time. It's possible you'll get to the point where you'll eventually no longer feel any negative emotions whatsoever from this worry, such as misery, rage, etc. But, just because those negative emotions are no longer there, doesn't mean your brain is no longer stuck on that worry. So, that worry could still be there, keeping your positive emotions shut off.

My Reply: That's possible. My subconscious mind could still remain worried, even though all those negative emotions are completely gone. In which case, I'd have to take the advice of others, and try CBT, to try to ease the worry, so my positive emotions return. I'd try other methods as well if CBT doesn't really help me.

As of now, all those negative emotions are almost completely gone, since I'm nearing a full recovery. It's only a matter of time before I find out if my positive emotions return, once all those negative emotions are completely gone, or if my positive emotions still remain shut off. If they still remain shut off, it could actually have nothing to do with the worry still being there.

It might be the case I've developed a mental condition known as "anhedonia" (an absence of positive emotions). In which case, no therapy would help to restore my positive emotions, since therapy is meant for people who struggle with negative thoughts and worries. But, I wouldn't be having that worry anymore.

Other Person's Response: A person will always remain unskilled at drawing, as long as he doesn't try to improve. Likewise, your philosophy will always remain the same, as long as you don't try to improve.

My Reply: I'd try if it's necessary to change my philosophy. But, I can't promise it would change.

Other Person's Response: I don't think you ever had a philosophy, since it's nothing but nonsense.

My Reply: Even if it is nonsense, I'm not sure it can ever change.

Other Person's Response: If there are better values you can live your life by, but your philosophy can never change, since you remain unenlightened to the truth that these better values are real values, then I think it would be the fault of god, and these heavenly beings, for not enlightening you to this truth.

My Reply: Yes. But, even if I was enlightened to this truth, I'm not sure if that would be enough to change my philosophy. So, even if I was enlightened to the truth that positive and negative emotions aren't the only way to have positive and negative experiences, I'm not sure if that would be enough to change my philosophy.

Other Person's Response: If a suicidal, miserable person thought nothing could help him, and he had a discussion with others, then these people would tell him there's help out there. So, it would be his fault if he still doesn't seek out that help.

My Reply: But, if he's still convinced nothing could help him, even after having that discussion, then it's not his fault if he doesn't get that help. It would be like if someone was convinced that psychics are frauds. If that person/skeptic was still convinced of this, even after having a discussion with spiritual believers, then it's not his fault if he doesn't invest some of his time in a seance (a meeting where people contact the dead). To him, it's not even worth bothering with. So, it also wouldn't be the fault of that suicidal, miserable person for thinking it's not even worth bothering getting the help he needs.

Other Person's Response: There are some suicidal, miserable people out there who do gain a very small benefit from therapy, medication, and other methods. But, it's not much, they end up giving up, and thinking it's hopeless to try anything else.

My Reply: Exactly. That's my point.

Other Person's Response: Since there are suicidal, miserable people out there who try their best to better themselves, but nothing seems to work, this means god, and these heavenly beings, are just allowing them to suffer like this.

My Reply: Yes, and I see no reason to allow these people to suffer.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps nothing would work to help ease this worry for you, or change your philosophy. But, if something would work to ease this worry, then it might be of very little benefit.

My Reply: You could be right. Especially considering how severe this worry is. That means nothing would work to change my life for the better. As a matter of fact, this is how I feel right now, and that feeling would be a negative emotion. I feel this way because this worry I'm having triggers all sorts of negative emotions.

Other Person's Response: When you have these miserable struggles, that makes you feel like giving up on trying things that would help you, since you feel like said things won't help you, or will have very little benefit. So, I think it would be better if you was apathetic, rather than miserable, because you don't feel that way. You just don't care about anything, which would make it easier for you to get the help you need. Sure, it wouldn't be as easy as feeling positively motivated to get help, since you'd have to drag yourself out of bed, and do the things you don't feel up to doing, including getting the help you need. But, at least you wouldn't feel any negative emotions that would make matters much more difficult.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: There are suicidal people who feel like giving up getting the help they need, not only because nothing seems to be working, but because it would take too long for them to achieve their goal of getting where they need to be. Life should be a challenge that's experienced as good, beautiful, and amazing. It shouldn't be a challenge where people are in situations where they feel miserable, suicidal, and feel like giving up.

My Reply: I agree. Having such negative feelings makes it much more difficult for someone to persevere in trying to achieve his goals, since that feeling is a negative experience/perspective.

Other Person's Response: You say nothing would work to ease this worry. But, there's one thing that's already working for you, and it's your brain's ability to recover from it on its own.

My Reply: Yes. But, that's a recovery process that's taking an extremely long time, and I hope there's something that would speed up my recovery.

Other Person's Response: I think life should be about the individual's desires. Since your desire is to live a happy life, and since said desire isn't harming anyone else, then you should be allowed to live a happy life. You shouldn't have to suffer like this.

My Reply: I agree. I have my rights as a human being, which means I have the right to be happy. I could say the same thing about my mother. My mother's desire is to be rich, she shouldn't have to be poor like this, and her desire to be rich isn't going to harm anyone else. As a matter of fact, it would be beneficial, since she'd be buying the things I want, the things she wants, and she'd be giving money to poor, innocent people.

She has the right to be rich, which means god, or these heavenly beings, should've made this Earthly existence a rich paradise for her, and a happy paradise for me. I realize my mother said she wants money, and that she doesn't need happiness. But, I'd ask her to think twice about that because I think money without happiness is no way to live.

Without the individual's happiness, then money can be nothing positive in the eyes of that individual. My mother said she does have clinical depression, and perhaps she should get treatment for it. Hopefully, said treatment works for her. That way, she can enjoy any money she manages to get.

Other Person's Response: Not only would your mother being rich be beneficial, but you being happy would also be beneficial, since you'd be taking up composing right now, and wouldn't be giving up on it.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If, let's pretend, you could never recover from this misery-inducing worry, and you had to live with said misery, then it would be best to end your life. It would be like having an abominable monster that's stuck on you. To destroy the monster (the misery-inducing worry), you'd need to sacrifice yourself along with it, since there's nothing that can get rid of it.

My Reply: Fortunately, that's not going to be the case, since my psyche is recovering from this misery-inducing worry on its own.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 12/26)

Other Person's Response: In regards to this worry, you're taking medication for it, right?

My Reply: Yes. But, I don't notice any benefit from the medication.

Other Person's Response: In regards to suicide, if a person ended his life, since he couldn't get rich, then that means he's given up on life. He's even given up on his selfish desire to being rich.

My Reply: Sure, he's given up on life. But, I think he'd still have that selfish desire to be rich, and he just ended his life, since he wasn't getting the money he wanted.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your mother's clinical depression, if she couldn't feel happiness and joy about earning money, but could feel other positive emotions, such as pride and beauty, then she could still be proud about earning money, and see beauty in that.

My Reply: Yes. As for me, I need to enjoy my composing. If I'm just proud, and see my composing as beautiful, then that's not enough. I need that feeling of enjoyment, which is a form of motivation that urges me to compose awesome music.

Other Person's Response: I heard your mother has money issues, since she's poor. She's been trying her best to earn more money. But, nothing is working for her. So, why does god, and these heavenly beings, allow her to be poor like this? They should make money magically appear out of thin air for her, since they have the power to do this.

My Reply: I agree.

Other Person's Response: God could've sent someone to make your mother rich, if he couldn't make money magically appear out of thin air for her.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: So, you don't just blame god, and these heavenly beings, because of your suffering? You also blame them for the suffering of others, such as your mother's life of poverty?

My Reply: Yes. They could've healed my suffering, and they could've made my mother rich instantly, since they have the power.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps your mother is having negative thoughts, and it's these thoughts that are bringing her bad luck/karma. Maybe that's why she's not earning the money she needs.

My Reply: If that's true, then how's she supposed to know that? She'd be bringing bad karma upon herself unknowingly, and it wouldn't be her fault. It would instead be god's fault for not giving her the knowledge that she's bringing bad karma upon herself. As for my miserable struggles, it was obvious to me that it was my own negative thoughts and worries that brought all that misery upon myself. But, as for my mother's predicament, there's no way for her to know that she's bringing bad karma upon herself.

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers always talk about how having negative beliefs prevents us from getting the things we want. Perhaps your mother is having a negative belief that's preventing her from getting the money she desires (such as the belief that many people hate her, and are spiritually trying to keep her in a pit of poverty through their hate, which would prevent her from ever becoming rich). If she had a positive belief, such as there aren't such people who hate her, that she'll be rich, or that these hateful people have no spiritual power over her, then I bet she'd be having good luck, which might make her rich.

My Reply: If that's the case, then how can she believe otherwise? In order for her to have a positive belief that would give her good karma, she'd have to believe something she doesn't believe in, and it wouldn't be her fault that she can't have this positive belief. For example, let's pretend believing in the existence of fairies would give you good luck, and having the disbelief in fairies would bring you bad luck, then how do you expect someone, who doesn't believe in fairies, to believe? It's not the fault of that person for not believing in fairies. It can only be the fault of god, and these heavenly beings, for not enlightening this person to the existence of fairies, and allowing this person to live a life of bad luck.

Other Person's Response: If spiritual believers are right when they say having negative thoughts and beliefs brings bad karma into our lives, then that means there are plenty of people in this world who are unknowingly bringing bad karma upon themselves.

My Reply: Yes. If there's somehow a way they can change their thoughts and beliefs to bring good karma upon themselves, then they're unaware it's their negative thoughts and beliefs bringing them bad karma in the first place. So, they'd have to address an issue they're unaware needs to be addressed. They'd also be unaware of methods out there that can change one's thoughts and beliefs, since so many people are ignorant in this world. By the way, there are certain thoughts and beliefs that can be changed through certain therapeutic methods. But, there are certain thoughts and beliefs that can't be changed.

Other Person's Response: Is it possible another person can bring bad karma upon someone else by having negative thoughts and beliefs?

My Reply: That might be possible because I thought I heard spiritual believers also say this. Again, the person being inflicted with bad karma might be completely ignorant of this, and the other person might be ignorant as well.

Other Person's Response: Spiritual believers say that misdeeds we've done in a previous life bring bad karma upon us in this lifetime the moment we reincarnate into this lifetime. So, perhaps the reason why your mother is having bad luck when it comes to money is because she has done some misdeeds in a previous life, and is now being punished with bad karma. If she wants good karma, so she can earn a lot of money, then she needs to resolve the cause of her bad karma through past life regression with a therapist. It's where a therapist tries to bring back the memory of who you were, and what you've done, in a previous life.

My Reply: If that's the case, then how's she supposed to know that? I blame god, and these heavenly beings, for not giving her such knowledge, since such knowledge would've been very useful for her. But, if she doesn't believe she's being punished with bad karma, then I also put blame on god, and these heavenly beings, since they could've enlightened her to the truth that she's being punished with bad karma, and she needs to resolve this somehow. As long as they don't enlighten her, then they're allowing her to remain stuck in a pit of poverty.

Other Person's Response: Does your mother believe in reincarnation?

My Reply: No. So, she doesn't believe in this idea that we're punished with bad karma for having done misdeeds in a previous life. But, she does believe in god and the afterlife. She reads the bible, and she's a Christian. However, she doesn't live the Christian life. She thinks that, as long as you're a kind, polite person who doesn't torture, or kill, innocent people and living things, then you'll earn your way into heaven, and that a person doesn't need to refrain from what god considers sinful, such as swearing, using the Lord's name in vain, working on the Sabbath day, etc. I think many Christians today live like this. They just don't live their lives in obedience to the Lord.

Other Person's Response: So, your mother believes in Jesus and the rapture? Does she believe in hell?

My Reply: Yes. She believes that you'll only go to hell if your someone cruel who tortures, or kills, innocent people and living things.

Other Person's Response: Maybe your suffering really was pointless and unnecessary. Yet, god, and these heavenly beings, felt it was the right thing to allow you to go through all that suffering, and not give a damn about you.

My Reply: In which case, they wouldn't be all-loving beings. They'd have to think that way in order to feel that way, and any being who'd think and feel that way wouldn't be an all-loving being.

Other Person's Response: In regards to the topic of suffering, there are forms of suffering that only serve to render people more cruel and hateful. So, there are forms of pointless suffering that serve no benefit for the individual and/or humanity.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: It would be nice if there was a way to end someone's life pain-free and peacefully. That way, people who are going through immense suffering, without any hope, can have their lives ended this way.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I wonder if people reincarnate, and if they have to learn the same life lessons again and again. It would be horrible if you had to go through these miserable struggles again in some other lifetime, just to learn the same life lesson of keeping your thoughts healthy.

My Reply: Yes. It would be absurd and pointless. People shouldn't have to learn the same life lessons if their souls have already learned them in previous lives.

Other Person's Response: If a person gained knowledge, died, and reincarnated as another person, he'd have to learn that knowledge all over again. For example, if I was a professional musician in a previous life, I'd be completely ignorant of musical knowledge in the next life. So, this also says that any life lessons we learn in this life must be learned again in the next life.

My Reply: Like I said, I think that's an absurd and pointless process to go through. It's just a waste of gained knowledge if we lose it before reincarnating.

Other Person's Response: When someone is born, that person is childish and selfish, since he's still a young child. But, he grows up to become a mature adult. When he reincarnates into another human body, he's a child again, and he loses all the maturity, knowledge, and life lessons he's acquired in his previous life.

My Reply: Which means we must relearn things we've lost in previous lives. I don't see the point of that.

Other Person's Response: In this lifetime, you're someone who keeps his body healthy, since you don't do drugs, you exercise, get enough sleep, and eat right. But, if you reincarnate, then you might have a completely different personality. Instead of being a male who keeps his body healthy in this lifetime, you might be a female who destroys her body through drug use in the next lifetime.

My Reply: My form of spiritual growth, in this lifetime, would be keeping myself healthy. But, you're right. If I do reincarnate, I might lose that form of growth in another lifetime. If souls are just going to lose whatever forms of learning and growth they obtain in this lifetime the moment they reincarnate, then that's just an absurd, pointless, and unnecessary spiritual journey for our souls.

Other Person's Response: I heard that, even though your mother strictly encourages you to remain in good, physical health, she didn't strictly encourage you to remain in good, mental health by encouraging you to avoid negative thoughts and worries that would make your life a miserable hell. I bet, if your mother also strictly encouraged healthy thinking, in addition to physical health, you'd never have these miserable struggles, since you would've kept your thoughts healthy since the very beginning.

My Reply: You could be right. God, or these heavenly beings, could've, at least, given me some inner voice before I had all these miserable struggles. It would be a voice that would've always been there with me, which would be a voice that not only strictly encourages me to keep my body healthy, but my thoughts healthy. Actually, I wouldn't need some inner voice to tell me to keep my body healthy, since my mother was that voice. But, I'd need some inner voice back then to tell me to keep my thoughts healthy, so that I would've avoided all these miserable struggles. Sure, during my miserable struggles, my mother was there to help me, and give me advice. But, she never had a strict attitude to keep a healthy mindset.

Other Person's Response: I think it's better to live with a parent who strictly upholds good health habits, and for the children to never do drugs, smoke, and do other things that would damage their health, than it would be to live with a parent who doesn't care about his children, and for the children to damage their bodies through unhealthy lifestyles. Even if the children, who grew up, damaging their bodies through bad health habits, learned the life lesson to never live an unhealthy lifestyle, it's better for children to grow up healthy by living with good parents, since these children would've already learned this life lesson since the very beginning, and wouldn't have to learn it by damaging their bodies.

My Reply: Exactly. That's why it would've been better if I was already given the life lesson to keep a healthy mindset, rather than having to learn this lesson by going through years of misery. God, or these heavenly beings, could've just given me this life lesson upon my very birth. So, they could've bestowed divine knowledge upon me. That, or I could've lived with a mother who strictly upholds healthy thinking, in addition to good health.

Other Person's Response: Have you always kept your body healthy?

My Reply: Yes. I live with a mother who strictly upholds good health habits. But, who knows, in another lifetime, I might live with a mother who doesn't care about my health, and I might be that female who destroys her body through drug use.

Other Person's Response: Let's pretend that, in this lifetime, you lived with a mother who didn't care about your health, and even wanted you to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Would you be someone who destroys his body through bad health habits?

My Reply: I'm not sure. If I knew these bad health habits would be bad for me, then it's still possible I'd keep my body healthy anyway. I've always been known to be the type of person to look out for myself, and keep myself healthy. So, I might still keep my body healthy. Even in the scenario you presented. Then again, I didn't keep my thinking healthy. So, it's quite possible that, if I didn't live with a mother who strictly encourages good, physical health habits, that I'd do drugs, smoke, drink alcohol, etc.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, there are certain emotions we feel that we just can't explain. They could be very profound emotions.

My Reply: Actually, since emotions are value judgments, then there is a way to describe them. But, it might be too difficult for some people to describe them. Maybe it's because these people don't have the rich vocabulary necessary.

Other Person's Response: Do you have phobias? If so, could you share them?

My Reply: I do have a couple of phobias I'd want to share. My 1st phobia would be being out in an open space or field. Especially on a hot, sunny day. I can explain why that is, since I've figured out the cause of this phobia, and have actually eliminated it myself. When I'm out in the open field or space, I don't have food and water right next to me. My fear was that, if I don't get the proper amount of food and water, I'll faint. The experience of fainting would be a frightening experience for me. So, not having food and water near me would cause me to panic.

When it's hot and sunny, not getting enough to drink would make it more likely for you to faint. That's why I experience more fear being out in an open space or field on a hot, sunny day than on a normal, cloudy day. But, I've learned to no longer fear the experience of fainting if it ever does happen to me. I just allowed myself to face it. That's what eliminated this phobia. I also had a fear of fear. When I was younger, and was home alone, my mother wasn't there, since she'd be out shopping, or doing something else.

My fear was that, if I feel fear, my mother, and anyone else, wouldn't be there to comfort me from said fear. As a I result, I started to feel fear. By not wanting to feel fear, I made myself feel fear. After all, that's how the brain works. By avoiding certain emotions, you only bring more of those emotions upon yourself. That's why people who try very hard to not feel anxiety end up feeling anxiety. So, by facing your fear, you reduce, or even eliminate it. As for my fear of being home alone, I no longer have that fear either. I think this is a fear I simply outgrew.

Now, there's one more phobia I'd like to share, and I still have this phobia. When my mother was driving me around in her car, there was a moment I was excited. I forgot what I was excited in regards to. Anyway, she had some loud music on, and she was driving 40 or 50 mph. All of that was one, big rush for my brain. The high speed, combined with the excitement and loud music, put my mind on a roller coaster. My brain got a sort of rushing or speeding sensation. It was an experience that caused me panic, since it was so overbearing.

When people ride roller coasters, you might see them panic, since it's too much of a rush for their brains. I think, again, the idea would be to allow your mind to go on that roller coaster's experience to eliminate, or reduce the fear. By avoiding it and wanting to have a calm mind instead, that only makes matters worse. It causes your mind to race even more, and just causes panic. So, when driving with my mother, I must find a way to allow that experience. By allowing it, I think I'd rid of this phobia. But, this is much more difficult for me to allow than my previous phobia.

Knowing that my mother would be upset if I panic in the car makes matters worse because I'd be trying to keep my mind calm so I don't panic. But, that only causes that racing mind and panic. Whenever I'm in an energetic mood while riding in a vehicle, it's much more difficult for me to keep my mind calm, since it's so active. Thus, I experience much more of that mental, racing sensation and panic than I would if I was in a calm mood. My mother could even be driving at a moderate speed with no music on, and the speed itself would be enough for me to have that frightening experience.

I can't even take a bus because that would be much worse for me. The driver isn't going to slow down or stop his bus to ease my panic. So, I'd have to wait patiently until I arrive at the destination I need to be. That puts me in a position where I must keep my mind calm during the whole ride. Again, when I try to keep my mind calm, that only causes me to panic, since I'm trying to avoid panic. So, my panic would be worse on a bus than driving with my mother because at least my mother would slow down or stop. I don't think taking a sedative would help much because that phobia is still there.

Medication only helps a little bit. But, it's not a cure. It doesn't rid of the phobia in any given moment. This phobia even applies to my daily life, since the Earth is moving very fast. Just knowing that the Earth constantly moves at a very high speed caused me panic. However, when I do experience that racing mind in this situation, that sensation is nowhere near as intense. That's because there's no high speed being felt, loud music, etc. to amplify the experience. If I could actually feel the Earth speeding, then that racing mind would be a more intense experience. But, since the sensation is at a low intensity, then I'm able to face it.

Even when loud music is being played, it doesn't intensity that sensation much. Therefore, I'm able to face the sensation in my daily life, which means the phobia no longer applies to my daily life anymore. I no longer have the fear in regards to the Earth speeding. But, the phobia still applies to driving in a car or riding a bus, since that mental sensation becomes more intense and, thus, more difficult to face. So, I still have a fear of riding the bus, and I still have moments of fear when driving with my mother, or anyone else. Even riding in a taxi or uber would cause me fear, knowing that I have to keep my mind calm during the ride.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your phobia of riding a bus, you're going to have to ride a bus someday, won't you?

My Reply: Yes. My mother told me I would. So, I'd have to face my phobia, and try my best to just allow that mental sensation. I only face my fears when I have to, and, if I need to ride the bus, then I'm going to have to face my phobia.

Other Person's Response: When a person is attracted to someone, he might experience certain symptoms, such as sweating, and a racing mind.

My Reply: Yes. I experience a racing mind when riding in a vehicle. When I'm in a calm, relaxed mood, it's more difficult to trigger that racing, mental experience. But, when I'm full of energy, it's much easier.

Other Person's Response: Would you experience a racing mind while riding in a vehicle, even when no fear is present?

My Reply: I think so. So, if my phobia was gone, I might still have that racing mind.

Other Person's Response: Even if you did find a way to face your fears, they might not be eliminated completely. A small amount of fear could still remain.

My Reply: That's possible.

Other Person's Response: I know a lot of people who avoid their phobias, which only causes them more fear. But, the goal should be to avoid avoiding the fear. Instead of running away from your fear, you should run away from running away from the fear.

My Reply: Yes. It was the fear I experienced from these phobias, which was what I wanted to avoid, since it was such a frightening experience for me. I knew that avoiding the phobia itself would only cause me more fear. So, by wanting to avoid avoiding the phobia, I eliminated my fear. If you tell someone to just face his phobia, then that makes it difficult because many people have a hard time facing their phobias.

But, if you word it differently by telling people to avoid avoiding their phobias, then that might sometimes work to eliminate their fear. The same idea applies to panic attacks. If wanting to avoid a panic attack is just causing a person more panic, and he doesn't want all that additional panic he's bringing upon himself, then instead of telling him to just face the panic attack, you should tell him to avoid wanting to avoid the panic attack.

You'd basically be using his avoidance to his advantage in preventing him from inflicting more and more panic upon himself, rather than just telling him to be a man, tough up, and face the panic attack. People who don't want self-inflicted panic should use this method because it will actually keep them safe from said panic, sometimes.

In summary, when a person runs away from his fear, that only causes him more fear. Thus, it's worse to run away from fear because that only brings more fear upon yourself. So, by wanting to avoid avoiding the fear, you no longer have that fear.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your bus phobia, you'd have to run away from running away from that fear, wouldn't you?

My Reply: Yes. I'd have to run towards the fear then, in order to run away from the other alternative of having the fear consume me.

Other Person’s Response: I heard you’ve eliminated some of your phobias through a method you’ve invented yourself.

My Reply: Yes. I’ll explain my method. If you had a phobia, such as a fear of spiders, there are two things, which would be: 1.) the spider 2.) the fear of the spider. Pretend that #1 is a safe place for you to hide from #2, since #2 would be so awful, and you don’t want it. After all, it’s the fear of the spider that makes the spider so frightening for you. Without the fear, then the spider would just be a spider in your eyes. Or, it would be a beautiful creature for you, rather than a horrible, frightening one. So, it’s the fear you want to hide from. Therefore, next time, when you’re near a spider, remain next to the spider as though you’re trying to hide from the fear of the spider. Hopefully, this method works for people to eliminate their phobias. It might not work for some phobias though.

Other Person’s Response: So, your method involves both facing the stimulus and avoiding the fear of it because the person would be facing the spider, but hiding from the fear of the spider at the same time.

My Reply: Yes. The person must first separate the fear from the stimulus, which creates #1 and #2, and then act as though the stimulus (#1) is a safe place to hide from the fear of the stimulus (#2).

Other Person’s Response: Many people talk about being courageous and facing your fears. But, according to you, a person just needs to face the stimulus, and hide from the fear.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person’s Response: If this method worked for you, then I think you’ve had fears; not phobias. I don’t think this method would work for phobias. There’s a difference between fears and phobias. Phobias can’t be eliminated through rationalizing or through methods like yours.

My Reply: You could be right. I don’t think this method worked for my spider phobia. Or, maybe, it will work, and I just have to try harder next time I come across a spider.

Other Person’s Response: Does your phobia elimination method work to eliminate the misery, and other negative emotions, from this worry you’re having regarding near death experiences?

My Reply: Not at all.

Other Person's Response: I’m going to talk about something different here, which is that trying to prevent a certain emotion would only serve to make you feel said emotion. If you try to avoid feeling miserable, then you're likely to make yourself feel miserable. If you allow yourself to feel miserable, and to become accepting of it, you reduce or eliminate your misery.

My Reply: That even applies to laughter as well. If you try to not make yourself laugh or smile, then you're very likely to laugh or smile. There were times my mother was angry, and I thought it would be awful if I laughed or smiled, since that would only make her even more upset. So, I tried to not smile or laugh. As a result, I smiled and laughed. She became upset with me, thought I was laughing intentionally at her suffering, or that I had a slight touch of insanity, despite my overall, sane personality.

She looked down upon me as a crazy person, or someone with sinister intentions, when that wasn't the case at all. It was simply a huge misunderstanding on her part. Besides, I've always been a kind individual. I never tortured others and laughed intentionally at their suffering. I don't commit crimes, and neither am I a crazy person. So, I can assure my mother and other people that, if I ever come across as someone with bad intentions, then you're getting the wrong idea about me.

Other Person’s Response: You said that you have a nervous smile or laugh in situations you shouldn’t be laughing or smiling. Could you explain this?

My Reply: Sure. I’m not sure if I’d describe it as a nervous smile or laugh. But, I’ll explain. If someone had a gun to my head and was going to blow me away if I smiled, then chances are, I’d smile. That’s because by trying to prevent myself from smiling, I end up smiling. It’s a known fact that if you try to prevent certain thoughts, feelings, and reactions from happening, you end up making them happen. It’s completely normal, and you can ask any therapist about this.

It would be like if someone presented you a youtube video clip, told you to not smile while watching it, and you end up smiling. It would also be like if you told yourself to not think about elephants, and you end up thinking about them. So, by trying not to make myself smile in that gun scenario, I’d find something funny that would make me smile while the gun is pointing at my head, such as a joke a friend or family member told me in the past.

I could even find the wall funny. When my mother has hardships, such as financial issues, I don’t want to laugh or smile, since that would upset her. So, by trying not to make myself laugh or smile, I end up doing so. There was a time she was having a difficult time in her life, and I found her very presence funny, which made me smile a bit. She was also wearing a furry hat, and I found that funny as well. She took it the wrong way and thought I was intentionally laughing at her suffering, when I wasn’t.

Other Person's Response: Well, I'm glad you can articulate the things you need to explain. If you couldn't do that, then other people wouldn't realize the real truth about you. They'd think you're laughing on purpose, or that you're a selfish, piece of shit, since your positive emotions are the only things that make your life beautiful and worth living. By explaining everything to these people, you help them understand you as an individual.

My Reply: Yes. If I couldn't explain, then people would just be attributing false judgments about me. I was no good at explaining things in the past. But, I've gotten much better at it. So, people should now have a true understanding of me, rather than judging me. My mother had her own judgment about me all along that was never true. I'm not trying to be mean or demeaning of her when saying this.

It's just that we as human beings have false judgments all the time. It's best if said judgments be corrected. If my mother, or anyone else, has a false judgment about me, I'm not going to be mean about it. I'll just simply explain why they're wrong, since I'm now able to come up with the right explanations, and articulate myself well. That's why I'm glad I have a computer, so I can type all this out. I print out my explanations and share them to people.

Other Person's Response: So, if you no longer wish to laugh or smile in situations where it would be inappropriate, you'd have to allow yourself to laugh or smile, rather than trying to prevent it?

My Reply: Yes. Again, that's just how the brain works. Ask any therapist or professional, and they'll tell you that's how it works.

Other Person's Response: You say positive emotions make us angels on the inside, while negative emotions make us demons on the inside. Are all negative emotions inner demons?

My Reply: All negative emotions classify as the inner darkness. But, there are some that classify as the inner demon. If you felt hate or disgust, I'd classify that as an inner demon. But, if you felt sad, hurt, or miserable, then I'd just classify that as the inner darkness.

Other Person's Response: So, if a person felt a positive emotion one moment, that would make him a being of light in that given moment? When he feels a negative emotion another moment, he'd be a being of darkness, or a demon on the inside, during that given moment?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You say positive emotions are the only way things can be great. That's not true. For example, there can be a great amount of money, regardless of how you feel.

My Reply: The form of greatness I'm talking about is a great work of art, a great, wonderful person, etc. Positive emotions are the only way things can be great and wonderful from our perspective. But, as for the other form of greatness (such as a great amount of money), that form of greatness can obviously exist from our perspective, even without our positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: I think people who struggle with depression and end their lives, such as Robin Williams, were committing a very selfish act.

My Reply: The reason why he ended his life is because he did not have the Holy Light (positive emotions) within him. Like I said before, without the holy light within us, then we are dead and empty on the inside, and our lives will amount to nothing. Since people are ignorant and in denial of this, then they do not understand his suffering. Rather, they just think he was selfish or childish.

Sure, he could have stuck around in this life and got the help he needed to bring back his positive emotions. But, if he has already done so, and this struggle of his just kept on and on without his positive emotions sufficiently returning back to him, then I consider it to be a justified act of suicide.

It would instead be selfish and inconsiderate of others to expect him to drag his life on like this, when it's a virtually worthless life of no beauty and joy that should be ended. In my opinion, people should just give up on their lives, their dreams, goals, and families when they lose their positive emotions and have to live like this.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me you've written these packets as a con, scam, or hoax, and to justify suicide.

My Reply: That wasn't my intention in writing these packets. Everything I've written has been my own personal experience, and all I'm doing is speaking up for myself, since there are so many people who deny and dismiss my personal experience. As for the religious dogma I've written, people are free to dismiss that because there might be no god, paranormal, or afterlife.

But, I wanted to share the religious form of my worldview anyway. However, I take issue when people dismiss my personal experience because feeling positive emotions is what we need. It's how things matter to us in positive ways. That's something personal I need in my life, and for people to deny and dismiss something like that really gets to me.

Other Person's Response: If positive emotions really were this ultimate, divine thing you speak of, then why are there so many people just fine living without them? Why do so many people claim their lives have beauty and joy with no need for them?

My Reply: Again, it's because people are delusional and in denial. They're not awakened to their divine nature as spiritual beings. They just carry on with their lives like robots or machines, believing this is somehow a beautiful way to live, when it never was.

Other Person's Response: A person who struggles with depression needs some advice to help him get through life, and telling him that his life is nothing beautiful isn't going to help.

My Reply: So many depressed people just carry on in life with their mental illness. They take the advice of others who tell them that they just got to make the best of things, and that life isn't happy or perfect. That was never the right thing to do. Sure, giving such advice would certainly help these depressed people cope with their empty lives. But, what really needs to be done here is to find cures for these depressed people to restore their positive emotions, so that their lives can have beautiful and joyful meaning.

Other Person's Response: You said feeling proud is the only way to be proud. What about disappointment?

My Reply: Feeling disappointed is the only way to be disappointed. So, disappointment is also an emotion.

Other Person's Response: I could give another example of a negative emotion, and it would be feeling uncomfortable.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I heard you feel uncomfortable when you have to urinate or have a bowel movement with other people around. If you couldn't feel any negative emotions, then you'd feel comfortable.

My Reply: Correct. That's another reason why I see no need for negative emotions. Also, I can't help but feel uncomfortable, and I wish I didn't feel this way.

Other Person's Response: If you couldn't feel uncomfortable when you have to urinate or have a bowel movement with other people around, you could just go.

My Reply: Yes. If I could feel comfortable (a positive emotion), then I could just relax and go. Feeling uncomfortable is nothing more than a major inconvenience for me.

Other Person's Response: Another example of a negative emotion would be a feeling of agitation.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Are cute and adorable value judgments?

My Reply: Yes. They would be positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: If something is disturbing, that would also be a value judgment, right?

My Reply: Yes. It would be a negative emotion.

Other Person's Response: If emotions are the only source of value and worth in your life, then that makes you a dysfunctional adult. It seems you don't have the proper, mental functioning needed for greater, more mature, values.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's true. Emotions might be the only source of value and worth.

Other Person's Response: If you were undergoing meditation, and the exercise instructed you to relax, are you saying the only way you could relax would be if you felt relaxed?

My Reply: Yes. I don't feel relaxed too often. The only time I'm in a relaxed mood would be if I was worn out from exercising, or if something else triggered that relaxed emotional state. When I'm not feeling relaxed, I'd be listening to the meditation exercise no differently than someone casually reading the newspaper or an article. In other words, my mind would just be aware and attentive. But, I wouldn't be in a relaxed state. So, I don't think meditation exercises would work for me, given that the main goal when doing these exercises is to be in a relaxed state of mind. Even if I did feel relaxed when doing these exercises, that relaxed mood wouldn't last long.

Other Person's Response: So, people without their positive emotions can't be in a relaxed state of mind when they do meditation?

My Reply: Correct. Their minds can only be aware and attentive. If they were feeling other emotions, such as fear or misery, then they'd be in a fearful or miserable state of mind. These people would have to find a way to feel relaxed, so they can be in a relaxed state. If they can't, then they're out of luck. So, they'd have to wait for that positive emotion (that feeling of relaxation) to return.

Other Person's Response: I know plenty of people who don't have positive emotions. They can't be in a relaxed mood. Yet, meditation still helps them.

My Reply: Then, maybe, you don't need to be relaxed in order for meditation to work. You can simply have a mind that's aware and attentive. So, maybe, you can just listen to the instructions, and it would still work for you.

Other Person's Response: If feeling relaxed was the only way to be in a relaxed state of mind, then why are there people claiming they're in a relaxed state of mind, when they're not in a relaxed mood?

My Reply: It's because they don't realize they're not in a relaxed state of mind. They think they're in a relaxed state, when they're not. They confuse a mind that's aware and attentive with a mind that's relaxed. They're not the same thing. People are also confused when it comes to love, joy, beauty, and worth. They also think they can experience love and joy without their positive emotions, when that's false.

Other Person's Response: If you want greater values in your life, then you must become the opposite of wild and impulsive. I realize you're no good at this. That's why there's meditation.

My Reply: I'll do meditation if it's my last resort.

Other Person's Response: When you feel any given emotion, and you describe that emotion as being the experience of value, wouldn't that just be you attributing value to emotions when, in reality, they're nothing more than just emotions?

My Reply: No. If I feel beauty in regards to something, such as watching children play, I can clearly tell this positive emotion has that beauty to it. I can clearly tell this positive emotion possesses a playful, childish, beauty to it. If I feel beauty in regards to a sad song, I can clearly tell I'm experiencing a form of beauty that isn't sad (since feeling sad is the only way I can experience sadness).

Rather, it's a form of beauty that has a serious tone to it. But, that tone isn't anything negative, since negative emotions are the only way I can experience negativity. I could also feel forms of beauty and joy that have a powerful, dramatic, serious tone to them. But, it would be nothing but a positive experience for me, since I'd be feeling a positive emotion.

Other Person's Response: Just how do you know for sure positive emotions are the only way we can love, and the only way things become good, amazing, beautiful, etc. for us?

My Reply: Well, when something is good, amazing, and beautiful for you, that's the ultimate experience one can have in life. It's the ultimate mental state one can be in. The same thing applies to love, since that's the ultimate experience one can have. I can clearly tell I'm not having those experiences without my positive emotions. Therefore, that's why I conclude positive emotions are the only source of beauty, goodness, love, etc. The same idea applies to negative emotions. I can clearly tell nothing's horrible, disgusting, disturbing, or tragic to me when I'm not feeling negative emotions.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 13/26)

Other Person's Response: So, no discussion or reasoning can convince you there's more beauty and goodness to life than positive emotions? It's instead your inner experience that determines whether you'll be convinced of that or not?

My Reply: Correct. If a person wanted a certain experience (such as hunger), then it's about whether he's actually hungry or not. It's not about sitting there, trying to convince him he can be hungry, when he's not feeling hungry. If I was in such a situation of wanting to be hungry, then only me feeling hungry would convince me I'm hungry.

I've never had an intellectual form of hunger (hunger that comes through thoughts and beliefs alone), just as how I've never had an intellectual form of value and worth. So, nobody can convince me I can be hungry through my intellect, just as how nobody can convince me I can have an intellectual form of value, love, joy, and worth in my life.

Other Person's Response: I agree hunger and thirst are mental states, since they're produced by the brain. All feelings, thoughts, and sensations are a result of the brain.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I know that, when people laugh, they cry. Why is that?

My Reply: I think it's due to a heightened emotional response. Even feelings of anger and sexual arousal can trigger tears if they're heightened emotional responses. In other words, if an emotion is very intense, it might trigger tears.

Other Person's Response: You sell yourself out to hedonism, and that makes you a loser, no different than the rest of the world. You're no different than those types of people who sell out to porn and drugs. I realize you don't smoke, do drugs, drink alcohol, or have sex. But, you're still a loser.

My Reply: I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. Hedonism is my personal way of life, and I'll wallow in my own feelings of happiness all I want. It would be no different than if a person was rich. It would be his business if he wishes to wallow in his own riches.

Other Person's Response: What if someone complimented your hedonistic lifestyle and honored it?

My Reply: Then that would be respectful.

Other Person's Response: I realize some people would say you're not a profound individual, since you lack intelligence, and your philosophy is very shallow.

My Reply: Yes. But, you don't have to be intelligent, or have a great philosophy to be a profound individual. For example, someone can be dumb, and have a philosophy that's not on par with other ones out there, but still have thoughts of profound love, beauty, and joy. These thoughts would then make him feel profound love, beauty, and joy, which would make him a profoundly loving, beautiful, joyful person.

Other Person's Response: Many people believe this lie that life would hold no value or worth without emotions, and many people are brainwashed by it, including you.

My Reply: I don't think it's a lie.

Other Person's Response: You're more than just an animal, since you didn't act out on your violent feelings during your miserable struggles, and you're able to intellectualize and explain, in great detail, your philosophy.

My Reply: Yes. But, many people would say the values I live by are those of an animal.

Other Person's Response: I've perceived/experienced moments in my life as beautiful and worthwhile. I can assure you those weren't emotional states.

My Reply: I think they were emotional states. Also, an emotion can be so small in intensity, that it doesn't seem like an emotion. Rather, it seems like your mindset alone is allowing you to perceive/experience moments as beautiful and worthwhile when, in reality, it's a positive emotion you're feeling that you don't recognize as being a positive emotion.

When positive emotions are at their normal intensity level, that would be a more intense surge of perceived/experienced beauty and worth, and it becomes more obvious that it's an emotional state.

Another example would be that, if you felt panic (intense fear), it would be obvious to you that's an emotion. But, if you felt fear at a very small intensity level, then that might give the false impression that you're experiencing fear through your mindset alone when, in reality, that fear is still an emotion.

Other Person's Response: I bet you're the type of person who only fights for his own happiness, but wouldn't put himself through misery to fight for others.

My Reply: Correct. My happiness is the only thing that can make my life valuable and beautiful.

Other Person's Response: Did you sit there and try, with all your power, to mentally tap into some higher form of beauty and joy in your life besides your positive emotions? Did that work to give your life this greater form of beauty and joy?

My Reply: I tried, and it didn't work at all. I tried becoming a better, stronger person right then and there who has a better philosophy, and it didn't work.

Other Person's Response: If our brains are receivers, as you say they are, then perhaps your brain is receiving the divine light a primitive way, which would be the emotional way. Maybe that's why your positive emotions are the experience of beauty, love, and joy for you. But, if your brain received the divine light a more evolved way, then perhaps thoughts and beliefs themselves could be the experience of beauty, love, and joy for you instead. If that's the case, then you'd no longer have to rely on your positive emotions to give you positive experiences.

My Reply: I'm not sure.

Other Person's Response: I bet it's just all those negative thoughts and worries you've had that prevented you from experiencing love, beauty, and worth. After all, that's a well known cause for a person's life being devoid of any beautiful, loving, worthwhile experience. So, I don't think it has anything to do with positive emotions. If you were rendered apathetic, due to some mental illness, then I bet you'd still be able to experience love, and I bet you'd still be able to experience your life as beautiful and worth living, even without your positive emotions. In this scenario, you wouldn't have any negative thoughts or worries. You'd just be without your positive emotions.

My Reply: I don't think that's the case. I think positive emotions really are necessary.

Other Person's Response: If someone could rebuild you to make you a better, stronger person with a better philosophy, would you choose to have that person rebuild you?

My Reply: Yes. That's because I'd be living my life by greater, everlasting values.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy is an insult to injury, since it states that people, who struggle with depression or unhappiness, aren't living beautiful, worthwhile lives.

My Reply: Yes, it is. But, that's just the way life is. Life is known to be an insult to injury.

Other Person's Response: I, too, find your worldview very offensive because you're saying that the lives of depressed, genius artists were nothing beautiful.

My Reply: This is just a claim I'm making. I'm claiming there's no more value to life than our emotions, and I'm making all these supporting arguments. It would be no different than if I claimed that you can't have a healthy relationship, as long as you live with an intolerant wife or husband, and, from there, made supporting arguments for that claim.

Other Person's Response: Well, I do think it's a character strength for someone to learn from his struggles, and keep his thought processes healthy.

My Reply: I agree. Another thing. If I can be rendered without the capacity to experience beauty, love, and joy (which I have on many occasions), then why couldn't god create me as a being who has no capacity to experience suffering? This would mean no negative thought could ever make me suffer, since it would never make me feel miserable, or any other horrible, disturbing emotion. Such emotions are suffering for me, and I don't wish to have them.

Other Person's Response: You say that, every time you have a positive thought, that gives you a positive experience, once that thought makes you feel a positive emotion. Sure, you're having positive experiences during those moments. But, don't let that fool you into believing it's the positive emotions that are the positive experiences for you. You just think you need positive emotions to have positive experiences, when you really don't. So, you're just allowing your emotions to dictate whatever experience you're having, whether it be a positive experience, or a negative experience.

My Reply: I'm not sure. All I know is that my emotions have been the only positive and negative experiences in my life.

Other Person's Response: I bet, if you were a martial artist who trained his mind and body, you wouldn't have the weak philosophy you currently have. I think it's your shallow, weak, hedonistic way of life that renders you with this shallow, weak, hedonistic philosophy.

My Reply: I'm not sure about that. I still might need to enjoy training my mind and body, as well as martial arts tournaments, in order for it to be valuable and beautiful to me.

Other Person's Response: There's a difference between someone who's weak, and someone who's just limiting himself. I think you're the type who's just limiting himself because I bet, if you believed there's a better philosophy than hedonism that you're capable of living your life by, and that positive emotions aren't the only things that make life beautiful and precious, you'd be living by this better philosophy. But, if you were weak, you wouldn't be able to upgrade your philosophy, despite having the belief mentioned earlier. I think the reason why you're stuck with your hedonistic philosophy is because you don't have this belief.

So, that's why I think you're not weak, and that you're just limiting yourself. If you think there's nothing better in life than positive emotions, then of course you're going to be stuck with your hedonistic philosophy. Also, imagine a scenario where someone is fighting in a ring with an opponent. If the fighter is easily capable of defeating his opponent, but is getting his ass kicked in because he thinks he can't defeat his opponent, then he's just limiting himself, and allowing his opponent to beat him down. But, if he believes he can defeat his opponent, but is still getting his ass kicked in because he's not capable of defeating his opponent, then he's just weak.

My Reply: You could be right. I might easily be capable of upgrading my philosophy, but am instead limiting myself from my true potential, and allowing my emotions to dictate my life. If I wasn't limiting myself, then perhaps I'd be living my life by a better philosophy right now. Likewise, if that fighter wasn't limiting himself, then perhaps he'd easily be able to defeat his opponent.

Other Person's Response: If you want to become a better, stronger person with a better philosophy, then you just need a change in your mindset.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that would even work. If there really is another way I can have a positive experience besides my positive emotions, which would allow me to persevere in my goals and dreams, then having the right mindset might still not be enough in order for me to obtain that new experience. That's because I might still be weak as an individual. In which case, I don't know how I'm supposed to obtain that new positive experience at this point.

Other Person's Response: Does your mother agree with your hedonistic philosophy?

My Reply: No. She doesn't base her values on emotions, even though she may act out on her emotions sometimes.

Other Person's Response: How vital and necessary do you think positive emotions are?

My Reply: It's like giving a plant the water and sunlight it needs to thrive. Without that, it just becomes a dark, dull, withered, disgusting plant. During my miserable moments, I'm like a dead, withered plant. But, once my positive emotions return, it's as though a flow has rushed in and revitalized me. For a plant, it would be a flow of water. But, for me, it would be a flow of divine energy. It would be a flow of pure beauty, greatness, and joy itself.

Other Person's Response: It seems to me life is a place where we're meant to transcend our impulses. For example, if someone is always getting himself in trouble, since he acts out on his emotions, then that would put him in a position where he'd be expected to develop as an individual. I think you have yet to reach that point.

My Reply: Even if I did reach that point, I'm not sure my philosophy can change.

Other Person's Response: This life being very unhappy, where positive emotions are fleeting, serves a major benefit, since it puts you in a position where changing your hedonistic philosophy is necessary. So, I think life is meant for learning and growing, rather than just happiness.

My Reply: I don't know if it can change though.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy fails to meets the demands of daily life. Thus, it's a defective philosophy. It would be like if I had a computer, in poor condition, that fails when it comes to demanding tasks, but works just fine when I do basic things on it.

My Reply: I see what you mean. My values simply do not stand in the face of misery, despair, apathy, and unhappiness.

Other Person's Response: I don't think you should give up like that when you feel miserable. Have you ever watched Rocky Balboa? He says how winning is done is through taking the punches of life, and carrying on.

My Reply: I think Rocky is wrong here. He acts as though there's more beauty and greatness to life than feeling happiness, fun, and enjoyment. He is dismissing and denying the Holy, Inner Light (positive emotions). Therefore, I think the only true winner in life is someone who feels happy all the time. When I say someone is winning at life, that's no different than saying this person is living a good, beautiful life, and that his endeavors are being pursued in a good, beautiful manner. That's why positive emotions are the only way we can win at life, since they're the only things that make life good and beautiful.

Other Person's Response: I think Rocky was right, and you're wrong. I think you're just weak-willed, weak-minded, and incapable.

My Reply: That's just your personal view. I have my own personal views as to why I'm right, and I'm sharing these views.

Other Person's Response: If you were wrong, and you knew you were wrong, would Rocky's advice give whole new value to your life, and would you not give up on your hobbies and composing dream?

My Reply: I'm not sure. I might still need psychological help to get there.

Other Person's Response: Some people would call you weak. But, I don't think so. The very fact that you've endured through this whole miserable struggle you've had, and finally reached the other side to a place of happiness and joy, shows strength right there!

My Reply: Thank you.

Other Person's Response: I have a different view. If there was a war where heroes didn't give up, and kept fighting on, despite their pain and misery, then these would be the true champions. But, you are like the person in the battlefield who hardly fought at all, and perceived no value during the battle.

Instead, you've given up on the battle, and just wallowed in your own pain and misery the whole way through until the war was over. Once the war, pain, and misery was all over, you celebrated the return of your joy, and carried on with your life. That's not something to be honored, or to be proud of, and neither is it any true strength of character.

My Reply: That's just your personal view then. Even if I was a powerful champion/warrior for having endured through all of that misery, being this warrior is nothing good, since only a happy, fun life is good. Therefore, it doesn't matter how weak or how strong I am as a person. The only thing that matters is that I'm happy, having fun, and enjoying my life.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your philosophy, I think people who carry on in life and don't give up on their dreams, despite their misery and despair, are living the truly beautiful lives, since they have something more to live for than their positive emotions.

My Reply: When a person goes to work and carries on with his misery, I see that as being no way of life. So, the image that conveys me wouldn't be that miserable person who just carries on in his work life. The image that conveys me would be someone who goes to work just to enjoy the beautiful office scene, or to enjoy doing things there. It would be like I'm living my life as a soul, visiting different beautiful realms, whether these realms be a beautiful, joyful office environment, a beautiful nature environment, or a beautiful carnival. Since I'm like a soul, visiting different beautiful, joyful realms, then it's as though I'm living my life as a wild, free, spiritual being.

I consider this way of life to be something greater than someone who just carries on like a beaten down soldier in a life of depression and misery. Having me live a life of misery, or apathy, is like putting me, the wild spiritual being, in a cage, where my life loses all perceived beauty. Sure, I could still be free, even without my positive emotions, since I'm a free citizen in the USA, and I can go out into nature almost anytime I want to. But, I would not be spiritually free, since I don't have that inner light (positive emotions) to give me that beautiful, joyful experience.

Without my positive emotions, then my soul would either be trapped in the realm of darkness (aka hell) if I was miserable, or trapped in The Void if I was apathetic. Spiritual realms do exist here on Earth for us, and they can either be heaven, hell, or The Void. How our minds enter a heavenly, spiritual realm would be when we experience beauty, greatness, and joy. Since positive emotions are that experience, given that emotional perception theory of value I presented earlier, then positive emotions are what create a beautiful heaven for us. My conscious being existing in the heavenly realm is how I become spiritually free.

Other Person's Response: I think hedonists are people with a lot of joyful, fun emotions to release. It would be no different than a person with a lot of physical energy to release. He'd release that energy by running or doing some other form of exercise, and the hedonists would release their emotional energy by creating works of art, engaging in porn, etc.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You've written all these packets when you didn't have your positive emotions. Do you sometimes wish you could wait until your positive emotions return to write them, so the whole process would be valuable and worthwhile to you?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy really doesn't work in this unfortunate, unhappy life. I think you're better off just killing yourself, so you can go back to the heavenly afterlife, which would be a life compatible with your philosophy.

My Reply: I'm not going to kill myself. Especially when I'm happy and enjoying my life here on Earth. Hopefully, when I die naturally on my own, there will be a heavenly afterlife for me.

Other Person's Response: While we're on the topic of the afterlife, I think it's selfish to desire a heavenly afterlife.

My Reply: Well, there are many people who don't just desire a blissful, heavenly afterlife for themselves. They wish it for other people as well. So, there are people who only want things for themselves, for themselves and for others, and there are those who don't want anything, and wish other people could have things. There are also those types of people who don't want anything, and don't want other people to have anything either.

Other Person's Response: Are you the type of person who'd not only want a blissful afterlife for himself, but for other kind people?

My Reply: Yes. I wouldn't want my therapist to die, and that be the end of him. I'd want him to live on in a blissful afterlife, and I'd want my loved ones to live on in a blissful afterlife as well.

Other Person's Response: I think you're onto something with your philosophy. Spiritual believers say our true home is heaven, where there is pure bliss, goodness, love, and joy. By having that heavenly experience on Earth, we're bringing heaven down to Earth for us. Sure, here on Earth, it wouldn't be as powerful and profound of an experience compared to our souls being in heaven. But, the fact is, we're still bringing heaven down to Earth through our positive emotions, and I think that's the goal of life.

My Reply: Yes. But, since this Earthly existence is a very unfortunate place, then it makes it difficult to achieve this goal.

Other Person's Response: The emotional based values you live by are weak, unstable, and unreliable. It would be like a chair with only 1 leg. I think you need to develop some strong, stable, everlasting values in your life.

My Reply: I don't know if that's ever going to happen.

Other Person's Response: Is it even possible to experience an everlasting form of horror, tragedy, despair, beauty, love, or joy? If someone experienced tragedy and despair from a loved one's death, then that tragedy and despair wouldn't be everlasting. The person would eventually recover from it, and be all better. So, I think this says it can't be everlasting, which means it has to be emotional, since emotions aren't everlasting. Therefore, the idea that one can have an everlasting form of those experiences, through his thoughts and beliefs, must be false. That means you must be right when you say those experiences can only be emotional.

My Reply: Yes. So, when it comes to experiencing things in life as valuable, precious, and worthwhile, I don't think that can be an everlasting experience either, which means it must be emotional. It has to be an experience that can only happen through our fleeting positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Someone could hate someone his whole life. But, that experience of hate wouldn't be everlasting (24/7) his whole life.

My Reply: Yes. I don't think it's possible to experience hate 24/7 your whole life. There has to be moments where hate subsides, just as how there has to be moments where panic and anxiety subsides. Since panic and anxiety are emotions that subside, then hate must also be an emotion that subsides. The same idea applies to all other positive and negative experiences. They, too, are emotions that subside every now and then.

Other Person's Response: I realize this misery-inducing worry of yours has put you into an unhealthy, crippled, morbid state that lasted 24/7 everyday for a very long time.

My Reply: Yes. But, as time went on, I slowly got out of that horrible state of mind, and returned back to my normal, healthy state.

Other Person's Response: If you were to obtain an everlasting form of love, beauty, hate, etc. in your life besides your emotions, then you might come to realize emotions never were any real beauty, love, hate, etc. Once you compare your emotions to this newly obtained experience, emotions might be nothing more than biochemical impulses or drives to you now.

My Reply: I don't think I'd ever look back at my emotions and think they're just biochemical feelings like the rest of the world does. Especially those crippled states I've had in my nightmares.

Other Person's Response: If someone lived a happy, easy life, then he'd be a weak individual who wouldn't be able to face life's hardships. I think that's what's going on with you. You used to live a happy, easy life. Then, life became tough for you with all those miserable struggles. But, you weren't strong enough to have greater values in your life, which is why you gave up composing during those struggles.

My Reply: Wouldn't my brain have adapted by now? I've been through many years of misery, and surely my brain would've found a way to have a new positive experience besides my positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: I bet, if you were to live with agonizing, physical pain, you'd never get used to it. You'd always wallow in that pain. This says you either have a character weakness, or you don't have a properly functioning brain that can adapt to such situations. I think the same idea applies to your emotions.

My Reply: I might naturally get used to the physical pain. Besides, I've been known to naturally adapt to many other situations, such as being comfortable when sleeping on the floor, when I was uncomfortable at first, switching from sleeping on the bed, to sleeping on the floor. That says my brain's adaptive ability is working just fine. But, maybe, it doesn't work properly when it comes to other situations, such as when I'm feeling miserable and see no more beauty and worth to life.

Other Person's Response: I think your problem is that you simply don't have a positive perspective during your unhappy or apathetic moments. I don't think it has anything to do with the hunger and thirst analogy you made earlier, where thoughts and beliefs alone can't give us a positive perspective/experience, just as how they can't give us the experience of hunger and thirst.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's the case.

Other Person's Response: I don't think it's your emotions that determine your perspective. Your way of thinking and believing determines that, and it's just difficult for you to have a positive perspective during moments, such as when you have a devastating worry. As a matter of fact, it's very difficult for any human being in general to have a positive outlook during moments of stress and worry.

My Reply: I'm quite sure my positive and negative perspectives are emotional states.

Other Person's Response: Not only do you lack control over your emotions, you also lack control over your thoughts because you couldn't help but have many negative thoughts during moments where you've had devastating worries.

My Reply: As for having much negative thoughts during moments of stress and worry, that happens to any normal person. These negative thoughts would then cause that person to feel negative emotions.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy makes you a very dull, shallow person.

My Reply: Some people would find hedonists very interesting. For example, someone with a wild, erotic, joyful personality would be very attractive to some people. My point is, just because you have a hedonistic personality doesn't mean you're a dull, shallow, uninteresting person.

Other Person's Response: Your worldview shows a sign of character weakness.

My Reply: Actually, there are two types of character. One would be emotional/impulsive based, and the other would be intellectual based. I fail to see the emotional based one as being "weak" or "pathetic." Let me give you an example. There are some people out there who are wild, happy, erotic, and fun people to be around. Many people would like these character traits, and I consider that to be its own unique strength of character. Sure, this personality type might fail and give up when it comes to life's miserable, unhappy hardships. But, then again, the intellectual personality type would give up, and find no meaning in a life filled with nothing but happiness and joy.

For example, some people would think an eternal, blissful life would be hell for them, and they could not carry on in such a life. But, I'd find such a life to be a paradise, and I'd live that life for eternity. I could call them weak for not being able to live an eternal, blissful life, just as how they call me weak for not being able to carry on in a life of misery. Lastly, the intellect will thrive in their lifestyle, while the hedonists will thrive in theirs. It would be like how a fish thrives in water, and how a land creature thrives on land. The water creature doesn't belong on land, and the land creature doesn't belong in water.

Other Person's Response: Given the philosophy you live by, you seem like a very impulsive person. Do you spend a lot of money on gambling? Do you make many foolish choices in your life?

My Reply: I don't do any of those things. That's because I choose not to act on certain impulses, whether it be feeling violent and wanting to harm myself or others, or feeling motivated to do something that would get me in trouble. I don't even feel like gambling anyway, since money isn't all that important to me. But, I'd certainly feel up to pursuing my composing dream, and I'd feel up to playing video games (providing I have my positive emotions). So, these are the impulses I act on. In other words, I only act on those emotional impulses that wouldn't get me or anyone else in trouble.

Other Person's Response: People would say you're a shallow person, since you'd prefer a life that's eternally blissful, and has no hardships, such as illnesses, suffering, and misfortunes. But, I think there are other ways to become a profound individual, and it doesn't have to come through living a hard life. So, let's pretend, even if you did live an eternally blissful, easy life, you could still be a profound, amazing individual through sharing any awesome, memorable compositions you wish to share to the world.

My Reply: Yes. Composing is my dream, and I think I can prove myself as a profound individual through sharing such compositions. I don't need to prove it by living a hard life. Besides, not too many people would want to live a hard life, such as suffering from cancer, and having to live on a hospital bed.

If I had the choice to become a profound, awesome, and powerful individual in the eyes of others through living with misery and cancer, or through being happy, free of illness, and sharing awesome compositions to the world, I'd choose the latter option.

Being happy and illness-free wouldn't convey that I'm a profound and powerful individual to the world. But, if I make profound, powerful compositions, and share them to the world, that's enough to convey I'm an awesome, profound individual.

Other Person's Response: Neither do you need to be intelligent to prove that you're an awesome person.

My Reply: Exactly. As long as I'm an awesome artist who makes powerful compositions, then I've proven myself as an awesome person to the world. There are also other attributes that should deem me as an awesome person in the eyes of others, such as the fact I'm kind and polite.

Other Person's Response: Are you taking up composing just to prove how awesome you are to the world?

My Reply: No. I also wish to share something awesome and unique to the world.

Other Person's Response: How does creating awesome, memorable artwork, whether it be compositions, stories, or paintings, make you an awesome person? If you were a cruel person to others, then the very fact you created amazing artwork wouldn't make you an amazing person.

My Reply: Creating art is an expression of yourself. Therefore, by creating awesome artwork, you are expressing something awesome about yourself to the world. So, even though someone may be a cruel, shit person in the eyes of others, there'd be one thing awesome about him, and it would be the amazing, artistic vision he has and is expressing to the world.

Other Person's Response: I bet there were many famous artists who were well known and praised for their artwork, even though they may be cruel, nasty people in real life.

My Reply: Yes. Fortunately, I'm a kind, polite person who'd be making awesome compositions to share to the world.

Other Person's Response: Well, according to your philosophy, it requires positive emotions to be an awesome person, since that's your definition of an awesome person.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I don't think a weak, shallow, worthless piece of shit like you has what it takes to create awesome, powerful compositions.

My Reply: I might be able to. Only time will tell.

Other Person's Response: If you do produce some awesome compositions, then many people would expect you, the artist, to be an amazing person who lives by a great philosophy. It would be quite ironic if someone with a weak philosophy, such as yourself, produces awesome and powerful compositions.

My Reply: It's said that many great artists have ironic qualities about them.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy is very dumb, and not much thought has been put into it.

My Reply: I put a lot of thought into it, given that I've written so much material and Q&A on it.

Other Person's Response: It's as they always say: to each his own. So, for you, positive emotions are what give beauty and worth to your life.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Do you think life is like a game, where those who have the most positive emotions are the winners, while those who struggle with clinical depression are the losers?

My Reply: Yes. The more positive emotions you have, the more beauty and worth your life has, which would make you a champion if you're living a very blissful life. Also, I hear people claim life is a computer simulation. If that's the case, then life would really be a game.

Other Person's Response: If spiritual believers are wrong in their beliefs, then the simulation theory would give you another hope for the existence of the afterlife because, if life is a computer simulation, then human beings might not just die, and that's it. They might live on after the simulation ends.

My Reply: Well, like I said, I'm undecided on debatable topics, including the simulation theory.

Other Person's Response: Perhaps life is a simulation. But, it's an abandoned simulation, since people are left to suffer in this world, and no programmer is there to assist these people.

My Reply: That could be. Since there aren't any strange things happening, such as objects materializing into this existence, then there might be nobody outside the simulation. There was this cartoon show called "Code Lyoko," which I used to watch when I was younger. The show is about a virtual reality inside a supercomputer, and there are characters who enter into this virtual reality. There's another character, named Jeremy Belpois, who's the main operator at the supercomputer.

He assists these characters in the virtual reality by materializing things into the virtual reality, and he does other technical things. But, if the characters were to die, such as being killed by virtual monsters, they return back to the real world. So, when we die in this universe, we might return someplace else. However, living in this universe might be like those characters living in that virtual reality, with Jeremy gone.

Other Person's Response: If we were living in a simulation, then we should have amazing super powers. Life just seems too ordinary and basic to be a simulation. Human beings are ordinary creatures who don't have super powers, and are prone to all sorts of disease. So, reality seems more like actual reality than a simulation.

My Reply: You're right.

Other Person's Response: If you had the choice to abandon your family and cause them grief in order to be a dumb, happy animal who lives in the wild, or to instead be a miserable, intelligent person who'd bring his family joy, which would you choose?

My Reply: I'd choose to be that dumb, happy animal because there's nothing else that can bring my life beauty and joy besides my happiness. If I was the intelligent person, and my misery only lasted for a very short time before I was happy again, then I'd choose to be the intelligent person. That's because I'd soon be able to enjoy any intellectual endeavors I might pursue, and I'd be able to be happy and enjoy bringing my family joy. But, I wouldn't choose to live most, or my entire life, in a state of misery, unhappiness, or apathy. So, in that type of situation, I'd have to choose to be the happy, dumb animal.

Other Person's Response: If your philosophy can never change, and this is all you'll ever amount to as a person, I won't think that's pathetic, just as how I wouldn't think it's pathetic if a person wasn't any good at drawing, and could never amount to a skilled drawer.

My Reply: Yes. Some people just don't have certain talents and abilities. I don't think that should be frowned upon, since it's something they can't help. I might not have the ability to develop in terms of my philosophy, and I don't think that's something to be frowned upon either.

Other Person's Response: If a person was weak in a certain area, such as drawing, I wouldn't have any problem with that. But, having a character weakness is the worst weakness to have. That's why I wouldn't be alright with that.

My Reply: I really don't know if me having a character weakness is the reason why I have this hedonistic philosophy, or if my philosophy was right all along.

Other Person's Response: If a person was in a wheelchair and couldn't walk, then that wouldn't be pathetic, since it's something that person can't help. So, if you're incapable of developing a better philosophy, that wouldn't be pathetic either, since that's something you can't help.

My Reply: You're right.

Other Person's Response: Even my young son has a better philosophy than you! I think that's pathetic!

My Reply: Well, there are little children who can draw, and adults who can't. I wouldn't think it's pathetic that some adults can't draw. Likewise, there are some adults who can't live by a better philosophy than hedonism, while there are some little children who do. I wouldn't think that's pathetic either. Besides, there are many people in this world who have my philosophy. Since it's such a popular philosophy that many people live by, then other people should understand why I have this philosophy.

Other Person's Response: Many people, who have a hedonistic philosophy, would just simply say being happy and enjoying life is what gives life value and worth. But, they wouldn't explain why that is. You, on the other hand, explain in great detail.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: Your philosophy is like someone who's a dead piece of equipment that needs to be constantly recharged. You need to always be charged up with those positive emotions to give beauty to your life. Otherwise, that beauty is dead (gone).

My Reply: Yes. I think human beings are like appliances that need to be charged up with positive emotions. Otherwise, life has no more beauty. Human beings need to rely on positive emotions to make life beautiful, just as how an appliance needs to rely on electricity.

Other Person's Response: There are many people in this world who think they need certain things to make life valuable and worth living, whether it be money, fancy things, etc. They don't need those things. Neither do I think you require positive emotions to make your life valuable and worth living.

My Reply: I have yet to be convinced.

Other Person's Response: I really think it is a character weakness, and that a vital, precious part of you is missing, which would give you a much better philosophy.

My Reply: I don't know if that's the case.

Other Person's Response: Even strong people have their weaknesses. So, you have your strengths and weaknesses, while other people have their strengths and weaknesses.

My Reply: Yes.

[MozartLink]

File #6: More On My Philosophy (Part 14/26)

Other Person's Response: It would be pathetic if this is all you can amount to as a human being.

My Reply: Well, each person has his unfortunate lot in life. You could say it's pathetic that there are poor, starving people in other areas of the world, and that this is all their lives will amount to. But, that's something they can't help. Likewise, I can't help it if I can't improve my philosophy, certain abilities I'm lacking in, or as a person. That's just my unfortunate lot in life, and there's nothing I can do about it. Life's a cruel joke for some people, and I'd be one of those people.

Other Person's Response: There are certain abilities you can improve though.

My Reply: Yes. But, I can't improve all abilities I'm lacking in. My philosophy would be one of those things I don't think I can improve.

Other Person's Response: I find your philosophy very depressing. It sounds like a philosophy a depressed person would have. Do you have this philosophy only during your moments of depression and despair? Or, do you have it, even during moments where you're happy?

My Reply: I have this philosophy all the time, even during moments where I'm happy.

Other Person's Response: You don't have a philosophy founded upon knowledge and experience. Your philosophy is instead founded upon emotions. Since your whole philosophy is founded upon emotions, then that makes it an irrational philosophy.

My Reply: Well, I'm just sharing my personal views and experiences.

Other Person's Response: Would you prefer a life of perfection, where science has greatly advanced in technology and cures?

My Reply: Yes, definitely. I'd prefer to live in an era that's thousands of years from now, as opposed to the era I'm living in now. I'd prefer to live in a utopia world, where life is happy all the time. Also, I like to keep myself in good health, I like to keep my video game systems and discs in good condition, and I'd prefer life itself to be good in general, where I have no suffering, unhappiness, or diseases.

Other Person's Response: So, you'd prefer a life where everything works out in your favor?

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: I'm an emotional theorist, and you say there are people claiming emotions aren't the source of value, how we love, have pride, and perceive beauty, greatness, or horror. Who are these people?

My Reply: In that Emotional Perception Theory of Value link I gave earlier, there was someone who disagreed that emotions are perceptions of value. This was the person trying to prove emotion theorists wrong. There are also many other people who disagree emotions are perceptions of value, how we love, etc. That's just the way the world works. When it comes to any idea, you'll have many people agreeing, and many people disagreeing. Not everyone agrees that emotions are the source of value and worth in our lives. Some people would even say it's a character weakness to rely on emotions as a source of value and worth.

Other Person's Response: Emotions aren't strength or power at all. To rely on them as a source of strength, power, and value is nothing but weakness.

My Reply: Would we say that an explosion is weak and nothing powerful? No. The fact is, it's still a powerful, natural phenomenon. So, emotions are still powerful things, regardless of how they're used, or if they're solely relied upon as a source of value. Besides, I personally think emotions are the only strength a person can have. When you have no emotions, you can't have any motivation to exercise or do anything. Neither can you have any value and worth in your life. So, emotions do give us that strength of motivation, value, and worth in our lives. But, there are emotions that do sap our strength, such as feelings of misery, depression, and despair.

Other Person's Response: There are other strengths a person can have besides emotions. He could be smart or creative.

My Reply: But, the point I'm trying to make here is that emotions are the only form of strength that count, since they're the only way we can love, hate, have joy, have beauty and worth in our lives, etc. Like I said though, it's the positive emotions that truly count, since they're what make our lives good and beautiful.

Other Person's Response: If I were to go outside of your personal definition of strength for a moment, I could say you were a strong person for enduring those miserable struggles, and not committing suicide. Some people would say you're weak because you're allowing your misery to beat you down, and take away the beauty, goodness, and worth of your life. Even if it is the case you're allowing your emotions to overpower you, I'd still consider you a strong individual for enduring through your struggles.

If a person was in a boxing fight, was completely overpowered by an opponent, then he'd still be strong anyway for remaining in that fight. He might've not had the strength to overcome his opponent. But, he'd still be strong for not cowering out of the ring. Since you didn't cower out of the ring (life itself) by committing suicide, then that makes you strong. But, it would be wonderful to see you become an even stronger individual by not allowing your emotions to rule and dictate your life.

My Reply: Well, I'm not sure if there is more value and worth to life than emotions. If there's not, then there's no way I can become stronger by having greater values in my life. That's because these greater values wouldn't exist, which means people would be wrong to assume there's more value to life than emotions.

Other Person's Response: In regards to the values you live by, people can either see it as a character weakness, or someone who's just very limited.

My Reply: Yes. People can call me weak and pathetic, since my positive emotions are the only things that make my life beautiful. Or, they could just think of me as a very limited human being. They could also think of me as both limited, weak, and pathetic.

Other Person's Response: Do you think people should accept and appreciate you, rather than frowning upon you or name calling you, since they think you're weak?

My Reply: Yes. There are many things about me worth appreciating.

Other Person's Response: Instead of running away from suffering and unhappiness, have a different mindset. Perhaps that will allow you to experience a new form of beauty in your life. I think you're just closing yourself off from these new experiences.

My Reply: I did have that mindset, and it did nothing for me. So, I don't think anything's going to work for me.

Other Person's Response: If your positive emotions are the only way you can love, and have beauty in your life, then you've never loved, or had any beauty in your life because positive emotions are nothing more than biochemical emotions. Things like love, beauty, goodness, and worth are not emotional things.

My Reply: I disagree. I think they are emotional.

Other Person's Response: According to you, things like beauty, goodness, and worth are things that can be taken away from us. You treat them as fleeting things.

My Reply: Correct. When you watch a movie, there's the audio component (where you hear the movie), the visual component (seeing the movie), and then there's the beauty, greatness, joy, worth, or magnificence of that movie. Any one of these components can be taken away from us. If you go deaf, you can no longer hear the movie. If you go blind, you can no longer see the movie.

But, if you lose your positive emotions, due to a mental illness or other factor, the movie would be devoid of any beauty or greatness from your perspective. Thus, the movie just becomes images, sounds, characters, scenes, and nothing more. As you can see, I think things like beauty, love, joy, and greatness are all reduced to one component, and that component would be our positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: So, according to you, we have to rely on our positive emotions to give beauty to our lives, just as how we have to rely on our sense of sight to see, and our sense of hearing to hear?

My Reply: Yes. When we lose our positive emotions, it's like losing our sight, hearing, taste, smell, hunger, or thirst because we'd lose our ability to love, have pride, joy, and see beauty in things.

Other Person's Response: For you, your emotions are perceptions of value. But, for me, my emotions aren't perceptions of value. I think that's because I'm a different person than you, and live my life differently than you. I don't live my life like a wild, hedonistic animal. I live to seek knowledge and contribute to the world. So, for me, my thoughts and beliefs are perceptions of value.

Different people will experience things differently. When you say positive emotions are the only source of beauty and goodness, that would just be your personal experience. You shouldn't project your personal experience upon everyone else, since everyone is different. As for your religion, your divine nature would be the wild, hedonistic animal. But, my divine nature would be the intellect, seeking knowledge and making the world a better place.

My Reply: Well, I could project my personal experience upon everyone else because we all need sight to see, hearing to hear, and a feeling of hunger or thirst to be hungry or thirsty. So, if I lost my hearing, reported my personal experience (which would be that I could no longer hear), and claimed that no human being can still hear if he loses his hearing, then I'd be correct.

I'd be right to project my personal experience upon everyone else. If you lose your hunger, thirst, sight, hearing, or smell, then there's no way you can still be hungry, thirsty, see, hear, or smell. The same idea applies to value. If you lose your ability to perceive value (your emotions), then you can no longer perceive value. You could, thus, no longer value anything in your life.

Other Person's Response: You're reducing all things beautiful, amazing, and worthwhile to one, single, biological component.

My Reply: Well, what biological component do people believe gives beauty and worth to life in the first place? It would be our intellect. Without our ability to think, then people believe we'd just be mindless machines, and things like beauty, love, or worth wouldn't exist. I agree intellect plays a role. But, we think certain ways, and these thoughts cause us to feel certain ways. It's the feelings (emotions) that give our lives beauty, worth, horror, or disgust. Therefore, our intellect (thinking) isn't the biological component that gives beauty to our lives. It's our positive emotions that do.

Other Person's Response: So, positive emotions are the ultimate component we need?

My Reply: Yes. They are the divine component to our very being and lives.

Other Person's Response: There is no support for the idea that our emotions determine what is good, bad, worthwhile, beautiful, or disgusting. It should also be noted that there is the proper use of biological science, and an improper use, which is becoming increasingly common these days. I can find numerous so-called public intellectuals who claim things, such as that intelligence is biologically determined, and one can't change it. This is pseudoscience. It's a claim made to "justify" the mistreatment of millions.

The real biology tells us that biological determinism is rare, and certainly does not occur with respect to intelligence. Hundreds of genes are involved, all contributing a small amount, and their contribution is dependent upon the environment. Since, for the most part, biologists have rejected biological determinism with respect to such things as intellect and behavior, I fail to see how we could ever have a biological determinism regarding either values or morality.

My Reply: My personal experience tells me otherwise in regards to emotions. I've had very profound, powerful experiences in my life that were horrible, beautiful, etc. These experiences were clearly emotional states I was in.

Other Person's Response: You say that, even when you're apathetic (emotionless), you're still able to determine the type of emotion any given artwork conveys. I think it requires some level of emotion to make this determination. I think it even requires some level of emotion to determine if something is good, bad, horrible, beautiful, etc.

My Reply: I'm not sure. I mean, even if I wasn't feeling hungry or thirsty, I could still look at a work of art that conveys hunger and thirst, and acknowledge that this artwork conveys hunger and thirst.

Other Person's Response: When you say you still know songs are beautiful during your misery, that's just you knowing they used to be beautiful to you in the past, when you felt beauty while listening to them. But, that beauty is completely absent for you during your miserable struggles, which means all you're left with is just the knowledge that those songs used to be beautiful to you.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: If it's possible to still determine that certain things are beautiful or disgusting without emotions, then that says emotions aren't the only value judgments, since you can still judge through your way of thinking.

My Reply: I'd still have to say emotions are the only value judgments, just like how I'd still have to say the feeling of hunger is the only hunger. So, when determining if something is beautiful or disgusting without emotions, I'd have to define that as being nothing more than just a determination. But, I wouldn't say it's a value judgment.

Other Person's Response: Emotion theorists have the same philosophy as you, and there are very intelligent emotional theorists out there who could come up with good, intelligent arguments to support your position/philosophy.

My Reply: Yes. But, the difference between me, and these emotional theorists, is that I have a religious form of their philosophy.

Other Person's Response: Could you show me an emotional theorist who thinks positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful and worth living?

My Reply: Sure, I'll share the link to a post of someone, on a science forum, who has the same philosophy as me. This is someone who had a discussion with me:

https://www.scienceforums.net/topic/114 ... nt=1044206

Other Person's Response: Maybe you just need more power and control over your emotions. If you're in physical pain, do you wallow in your pain? If so, that's because you don't have much power and control. Your physical pain dominates you, and your emotions do, too.

My Reply: I do wallow when I'm in physical pain.

Other Person's Response: You say emotions are biochemical-based. Then, you say they're forces of light and darkness, received by our brains. You can't have both!

My Reply: Spiritual believers would say, even though our brains work by means of biochemicals, they're also receivers.

Other Person's Response: I've heard that, without emotions, we'd be machines, and our lives would be devoid of any love, joy, value, and worth.

My Reply: Yes. As a matter of fact, I think certain shows and movies already depict this.

Other Person's Response: I think there are two forms of loving and craving. The first would be emotional, such as if you were craving adventure, or loving your soul mate. The other form would be your taste buds craving and loving certain foods.

My Reply: But, the form of loving and craving that's not emotional doesn't give any beauty, goodness, or worth to our lives. It's nothing more than just a sensual experience. Like I said, it can only be emotions that give our lives beauty, disgust, etc. Even if the non-emotional form of love and craving was triggered by thoughts or beliefs of beauty and worth, it still wouldn't give any beauty and worth to our lives. Thoughts and beliefs of beauty and worth can only become the experience of beauty and worth for us through emotions, and not through taste, smell, hearing, etc.

Other Person's Response: I realize you're fed up with this idea that there's more beauty and goodness to life than positive emotions because this idea puts you in a position where, if you lose your positive emotions, then you'd be living by a false definition of beauty and goodness.

My Reply: Yes. Thus, I'm not afraid to share and express my philosophy to others, regardless of how much it offends people.

Other Person's Response: You may be fed up with and tired of this whole idea that there's more beauty to life than positive emotions. But, I bet you'd never be fed up and tired of an eternally blissful life.

My Reply: Correct. How could I ever be fed up with and tired of a life that has an eternal amount of beauty, love, joy, and worth? Things like beauty, good, and joy are the most important things we need. So, how could I ever grow tired of them?

Other Person's Response: You're saying, even if you lived for millions of years, and had nothing but a positive experience for all those years, you'd never tire of that?

My Reply: Correct. I could never grow tired of a positive experience.

Other Person's Response: I think the self (ego) and consciousness are an illusion. That means your mental states (inner experiences) are illusory. Suffering is an illusion, and happiness is an illusion.

My Reply: I've had some very powerful and profound experiences in my life, whether they were beautiful, horrible, or disturbing experiences. I don't think such experiences can be dismissed as illusory. They were the real deal. So, I disagree with your entire statement.

Other Person's Response: I thought you were undecided on debatable topics. So, how do you know consciousness isn't illusory?

My Reply: I really don't know if it's illusory or not. But, it just doesn't seem illusory.

Other Person's Response: Since you're undecided on debatable topics, then you should remain undecided as to whether your translation of emotions into perceptions of value actually proves the emotional perception theory of value or not.

My Reply: Yes. You're right.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I think the self and consciousness aren't illusory. By treating them as illusory, you're dismissing them completely. Thus, you will deny any experience you have as being beautiful, disturbing, powerful, or profound, since such experiences don't exist.

My Reply: Yes. Also, if you treat yourself and your own mental states (experiences) as though they don't exist, then you might as well treat others and their experiences as though they don't exist.

Other Person's Response: You are ruled and controlled by your ego, and emotions. I think it's time for you to overcome this.

My Reply: As for the ego, I think that's meant to be a part of us. Without that, then it would be an unnatural, disturbing image, such as a headless animal. The head was meant to be a part of that animal. Without its head, then it becomes unnatural and disturbing. So, without our ego, then we'd, in a way, be like headless animals, living our lives. It would be like a headless chicken that's still alive.

Now, there are some spiritual beliefs that attempt to transcend the ego, such as Buddhism. But, then there are other spiritual beliefs, such as New Age Spirituality, that embrace the ego and the Law of Attraction (which claims you can get what you want if you set your mind and actions to it). Buddhism is the opposite, since it attempts to transcend the things we want.

I personally think life was meant to be a place for the things we want and our own happiness. That's the ideal life. It's a cursed existence to live an unhappy, miserable life, and to not get the things you want. That's why I consider my mother's life of poverty to be a cursed existence. I've had many miserable struggles, and that was a cursed existence as well.

Other Person's Response: I get it. You're like the opposite of a Buddhist.

My Reply: Yes. My spiritual beliefs oppose Buddhism.

Other Person's Response: Buddhism is all about eliminating suffering and hate. According to your philosophy, Buddhists shouldn't just aim for an absence of suffering and hate. They should aim for the opposite of it, which would be a state of joy, love, etc. In other words, they should aim for those positive emotions.

My Reply: Yes. Even if you had no suffering and hate, being in an apathetic state is still no way to live or be an artist. That's why you need positive emotions. In a way, I guess my philosophy is sort of like Buddhism, since its aim is to also eliminate suffering and hate. But, my philosophy takes it a step further, and says you should also aim for the opposite, which would be the positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: There are the colors black, white, and gray. Black could represent suffering and hate, white could represent joy and love, while gray could represent apathy. Gray is not the opposite of white or black. It's in between. Since black or gray is not a good or beautiful place to be, then I agree that the goal of any human being should be to reach for the white, and to avoid black and gray.

My Reply: Yes.

Other Person's Response: You've learned, through your struggles, that positive emotions are the only things that make life beautiful, and that they're the ultimate reason for living. I think you've learned the wrong life lesson. Your struggles, therefore, haven't enlightened you one bit.

My Reply: Who knows, I might've been enlightened to the truth, and many people deny this truth.

Other Person's Response: If the Law of Attraction was real, then I should have the powers of Superman if I wanted to.

My Reply: The Law of Attraction could be real, but has limitations. In other words, there are certain things you can get if you want them. Then, there are things you can't get, such as the powers of Superman.

Other Person's Response: I believe there are heavenly, spiritual beings who love us. They want us to let go of things, such as fear, hate, worry, and ego.

My Reply: I'd certainly want to let go of any worry, since holding onto a worry would only cause me misery. I'd also not want any feelings of hate, despair, fear, etc. in my life. But, as for my ego, I'm not concerned about giving that up. I'll just live my selfish, hedonistic life without caring what others think. You claim these spiritual beings exist, and that they want me to transcend my ego. But, I just don't care about transcending my ego. I mean, would a narcissist care about transcending his ego?

Besides, I have no idea whether these beings actually exist or not, and if they really want me to transcend my ego or not. For all we know, they might exist, and they might want me to further embrace my ego. After all, different people have different lessons/journeys. So, for me, I might be encouraged, by these beings, to embrace my ego. But, I really don't know. So, I'll just carry on with my usual life. When I die, then, if I meet these beings, I'll see what they have to say to me. I'll also see what new knowledge and experiences I'll acquire upon meeting them.

Other Person's Response: Would you be willing to transcend your ego if it was the only way to change your life for the better? Let's pretend you were unhappy, and nothing could better your life but transcending your ego. Then, would you do that?

My Reply: Yes. But, as long as it's unnecessary, then I'm not going to do it.

Other Person's Response: I think you're just attached to your positive emotions, and that's why they're the only source of beauty, love, and joy in your life. I think you need to let go of this attachment.

My Reply: I'm not sure if that's the case.

Other Person's Response: What if I didn't want to have riches, happiness, or any fancy things?

My Reply: Then that's something you want, since you'd want to live a life of poverty and unhappiness. Would you be upset if you got happiness, riches, and fancy things handed to you? Would that be a cursed existence to you? If so, then you clearly wanted to live a life of no riches, fancy things, or happiness.

Other Person's Response: Are you a spoiled person who demands a lot of things?

My Reply: No. I don't ask for much, I don't have a spoiled personality, and neither do I throw tantrums. The main thing I need is my positive emotions. There are also a few other things I need, such as video games, the internet, a computer, magnetic healing rings, etc. I wouldn't even put my positive emotions within the category of electronics, or any other product, since positive emotions are divine. They are the ultimate reason for living, and products are just items you need. I mean, without my positive emotions, then all products would hold no beauty, goodness, or worth to me.

Other Person's Response: Even if you couldn't enjoy and be happy with a product, it was still worth money. That says products still have worth, regardless how you feel about them.

My Reply: Well, if you purchased a product, and you didn't have your positive emotions, then the product wasn't worth the buy. It wasn't worth forking over any money at all. It doesn't matter, even if it was the most luxurious vacation or home; none of those things would be worth a single penny without positive emotions. So, I think one's ability to enjoy and have fun is the only thing that makes products, homes, and vacations beautiful, good, and of worth.

Other Person's Response: This worry of yours, which is about near death experiences, is in regards to worrying about what could happen to yourself. You're worried about the possibility of having a horrible experience. This is what Buddhists mean when they say the ego causes suffering.

My Reply: Yes. Fortunately, I'm almost fully recovered from this emotional crisis.

Other Person's Response: Why would these beings, if they're so loving, want you to embrace your ego? Apparently, your ego is causing you suffering, since you're worried about having that horrible experience during a near death situation.

My Reply: Well, there are ways the ego serves an advantage, such as not listening to the cruel opinions of others, doing things your way, and not being a slave to others, etc. So, I think these beings would want me to embrace my ego in this manner.

Other Person's Response: In regards to your mother's life of poverty, does she feel negative emotions all the time about her life of poverty? Do you feel negative emotions about that?

My Reply: My mother, whose name is Cara, does feel negative emotions much of the time about it. My grandmother (my mother's mother), whose name is Carol, is cruel to her, slave drives her, and only buys her cheap things, while she gets all the nice, expensive things. Grandma has a lot of money, while mom is left with little money. Mom has to get some money from grandma for food and things like this. But, grandma has all the money, and gives very little to mom. Mom says grandma has always hated her for no reason, and that she has abused her.

My mom isn't abusive towards me or my younger brother. But, grandma was abusive towards my mom. I live with my mother, and I don't live with grandma. Now, I don't feel negative emotions about this whole situation of my mother and grandma, nor the fact that I live a bit of a poor life. I just go about my daily life, having fun playing video games, while my mother feels all the rage. I personally don't mind living a bit of a poor life, where I don't always get the fancy things I want. As long as I'm happy and enjoying my life, then my life's all good. Sure, there was one time I wanted to get a new, fancy, hdtv.

My mother couldn't afford it, and I felt a little disappointed. But, that feeling soon went away, and I was fine. However, I think my mother might come into a home equity loan, which will give her a decent amount of money. That will allow her to afford the hdtv, along with the new Nintendo system (the Nintendo Switch). If, for whatever reason, she won't get this loan, then I'll be fine sticking with playing my old games on my old tv. However, even though my grandma doesn't buy my mom much things, grandma has been known to buy fancy things for me.

So, she might buy me that new hdtv, and the Nintendo Switch for my birthday or Christmas, if my mother doesn't get the loan. When my mother's birthday comes around, my grandma doesn't buy her anything. If she does buy her something, it would be something cheap. So, grandma likes me, for whatever reason, and hates my mother. Take note that, grandma doesn't buy expensive things for me all the time. Grandma has also been known to buy expensive things for my mother's brother. His name is Shane.

Other Person's Response: When your mother dies, are you supposed to live with grandma?

My Reply: No. My mother told me not to, since grandma would slave drive me and my younger brother. Grandma would also treat me and my brother cruelly.

Other Person's Response: Does your mother have a car?

My Reply: Grandma used to loan her one she had. But, mom got in a wreck with it, and grandma doesn't want to get her another one. My mother is hardly injured, since the wreck wasn't that bad. But, now she has no car, and my grandma is getting a new car all for herself. Therefore, my grandma has to drive us around. My mother is also taking the bus now.

Other Person's Response: Are you sure you don't feel negative emotions about your mother's predicament? You're saying you don't care at all?

My Reply: First of all, when she feels rage, things have sometimes been known to work in her favor. She said spiritual forces were working in her favor when she felt rage. That's why she did get the house put in her name. So, when my mother feels rage, I actually feel good from that (providing I have my positive emotions), since it's quite possible her rage would allow her to win the lottery. If she does win the lottery, then that would be extremely rare.

It would be like a miracle, which means there might really be spiritual forces working in her favor. That would give me hope that supernatural forces and the afterlife are real. I still wouldn't know for sure if those things exist. But, it would bring me even more hope that they do exist. After all, if they do exist, that means we're immortal spirits, and that there's a blissful afterlife. I'd love to live such a life, where I can be happy all I want, and get everything I want.

Other Person's Response: What if there is no soul, afterlife, and this is the only life we have? If you were convinced of this, then how would you feel when your mother feels rage?

My Reply: I'd still feel good from her rage because, if what you're saying is true, then that means life is a cruel joke. I'd want such a life to be given all the hate and rage it deserves. That's what makes me feel good when others feel rage in regards to the unfairness of life. Now, if the soul and afterlife do exist, and this life is still a cruel joke, where we don't always get what we want, then, again, such a life deserves all the rage it can get, since it's unfair for us as human beings. Thus, I'd still feel good from her rage. I, myself, wouldn't feel rage when I'm happy and enjoying my life. But, I'd still feel good from others having rage in regards to this cruel joke of a life.

Other Person's Response: If your mother wins a lot of money, that would make you feel good, since you get to buy the things you want? But, if your mother doesn't, and she still has financial misfortunes that cause her to feel rage, you'd still feel good about that because life deserves all the rage it can get, since it's a cruel joke of a life that gives us pointless suffering, and bad luck?

My Reply: Yes. In both situations, I'd feel good, providing I have my ability to feel good.

Other Person's Response: When your grandma dies, will your mother celebrate?

My Reply: Yes. She said she'd sell grandma's house for money.

Other Person's Response: I believe in the Law of Attraction. It allows people to have their spiritual desires fulfilled. So, maybe, your grandma is having her desires fulfilled. She wants your mother to suffer a life of poverty and not win the lottery. Maybe that's why your mother isn't winning any big money. But, perhaps your mother can make the Law of Attraction work on her side somehow.

My Reply: Maybe she can.

Other Person's Response: Does your mother do spells to curse grandma to die?

My Reply: Yes. But, she hasn't died yet.

Other Person's Response: If someone curses another person to die, and that person dies, I don't think he'd go to prison because there's no way to prove that he killed that person.

My Reply: Yes. But, if it was proven that curses exist, then people would be going to prison if they curse others to die, and they died. It would be a spiritual crime.

Other Person's Response: Since your mother does spells, then maybe you can ask her to do spells that would heal you of this recent worry you're having, which would restore your joy back to you.

My Reply: I haven't asked her yet, since the idea has never occurred to me. So, perhaps I should. But, I am very close to a full recovery from this worry.

Other Person's Response: In regards to the Law of Attraction, it's only those people are very loving, compassionate, and positive who attract the most wealth, fortunes, etc. into their lives. Maybe your mother isn't attracting money into her life because she's not much of a loving person. If she were to grow in love and compassion, she'd be attracting a lot of money and fortunes into her life.

My Reply: Although my mother doesn't love people much, since she easily becomes hateful and violent, and wishes death upon people who give her the slightest problems, I'm not sure if this is the cause of her financial misfortunes. Some spiritual force could be stopping her from earning a lot of money. Or, maybe, spiritual things don't exist, and she's just plain unlucky.

Other Person's Response: If someone told your mother to love her enemies, would that make her angry?

My Reply: Yes. Definitely.

Other Person's Response: Personally, I don't think your mother needs money when she has you and your younger brother. Who needs money when you have a family? There are poor, starving people out there who accept their life of poverty. They have love and compassion towards each other, and that's all they really need. I think your mother needs to spiritually grow as a person, and give up her materialistic desire for money.

My Reply: I don't agree. She shouldn't give up on trying to earn money.

Other Person's Response: If your mother doesn't win any big money, then maybe it's because there is no supernatural, and the Law of Attraction doesn't exist. Maybe this is the only life we have and, once we die, that's it. This would mean winning the lottery is nothing but pure luck, and there are no spiritual forces to help anybody win.

My Reply: That could be. Now, I'd like to say something about my mother not having a car. Grandma did actually decide to loan her one of her cars. Mom is trying to get that car put in her name.

Other Person's Response: Buddhists say to give up our desires. Wanting your life to have beauty, goodness, joy, and worth is a desire. So, not only do Buddhists give up their ego, but they also give up things like beauty, joy, and worth. They live life as it is, and they don't need any of those things.

My Reply: Then I'm afraid they're giving up their true divine nature and purpose. Like I said, that's just no way to live, and such a life amounts to nothing. It's unacceptable. Our divine purpose as human beings is to have that positivity in our lives (that beauty, joy, love, worth, etc.). That's why we need our positive emotions.

Other Person's Response: Buddhists have their idea of a divine or grand purpose (which is to transcend desire, and achieve a higher state of being). You have your idea of a divine or grand purpose, which is to feel positive emotions. Your idea promotes one having fun and enjoying his life, while Buddhists advocate things like meditation, practice, and giving up one's desires. I can see there's a conflict of ideas here. Buddhists might preach their doctrine to you, while you might preach your doctrine to them.

My Reply: Correct. I also have my own idea of a higher state of being. I think positive emotions are the only higher state of being. They're the real divine consciousness. I disagree with the Buddhists' notion of divine consciousness.

Other Person's Response: Buddhists go through years of practice and meditation to obtain, what they think is, the divine state. But, you're saying the real divine state was right there all long, and it was simply being happy, feeling love, feeling beauty, and enjoying life.

My Reply: Correct. There's no need to look any further than positive emotions because they're the ultimate reason for living and pursuing any goal or dream. So, we had a divine state all along, which means there's no reason to go through practice and meditation to obtain some fake divine state.

Other Person's Response: I think I know why you live by these emotional based values. Someone like you, who never undergoes meditation, will be mentally wild, uncontrolled, and unstable. Meditation helps create a balanced, controlled, stable psyche.

My Reply: I'm not sure if it's me being mentally unbalanced that makes my positive emotions the only things that make my life beautiful. Or, if it's because positive emotions really are the only things that make life beautiful. As for meditation, I'm not interested in that. If it was my only option, then I'd have to go through with it. I'm just interested in living my hedonistic lifestyle I've always lived.

I'm basically someone who's not interested in anything else, other than having fun, enjoying my life, and doing the hobbies I want to do. I really don't want to meet the standards and expectations of others by living my life doing other things, whether it be becoming a father and taking care of children, doing Buddhist practice and meditation, living my life helping humanity, etc. I ignore the opinions and attitudes of others, and just live how I want to live.

Other Person's Response: If you've never been a father, then you'll never understand the value and worth of taking care of a child, even when you're feeling unhappy.

My Reply: Even if I was a father, I might still have the same philosophy, which means me feeling happy would still be the only thing that would make taking care of a child something beautiful, good, and worthwhile. In addition, I'd still only be able to love the child if I felt love (a positive emotion).

Other Person's Response: If you were a father, and you're philosophy still stands, then you're unfit to be a parent. As a matter of fact, you're unfit for life itself with such a philosophy. A relationship, or family, founded upon such a philosophy would be a defective, unhealthy, unbalanced relationship or family.

My Reply: Just because my philosophy isn't compatible with life itself doesn't make my philosophy false. Plenty of things just don't work out in this life. But, that doesn't make those things false. For example, our physical bodies won't last. They will eventually grow old and die. They're also prone to all sorts of diseases. That means our bodies don't work out too well in this life. But, that doesn't make it untrue.

That doesn't mean aging is a lie, we're all immortal, and that we can never have a physical illness. Just because having vulnerable, mortal bodies is something that wouldn't be very compatible with the life we live doesn't mean it's false. Likewise, just because my philosophy wouldn't be very compatible with life doesn't mean it's false. Mortality, and my philosophy, would both be unpleasant concepts for many people as well. But, that doesn't make them false.