Hardships

General chit-chat

Moderators: AMod, iMod

Post Reply
duszek
Posts: 2187
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:27 pm
Location: Thin Air

Hardships

Post by duszek » Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:19 am

What hardships have you survived and how have they strengthened your character ?

thedoc
Posts: 6442
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:18 pm

Re: Hardships

Post by thedoc » Sun Dec 24, 2017 12:38 pm

duszek wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:19 am
What hardships have you survived and how have they strengthened your character ?
Running a retail business for 11 years and then shutting it down for lack of business, reinforced the idea that I wasn't very good at dealing with people, I'm much better when I can be off by myself just making things.

Philosophy Explorer
Posts: 5636
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2014 7:39 am

Re: Hardships

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Sun Dec 24, 2017 3:45 pm

thedoc wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 12:38 pm
duszek wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:19 am
What hardships have you survived and how have they strengthened your character ?
Running a retail business for 11 years and then shutting it down for lack of business, reinforced the idea that I wasn't very good at dealing with people, I'm much better when I can be off by myself just making things.
You haven't done so bad. 80% - 90% of new businesses fail in their first year.

Is it because you just didn't have your heart in this business?

PhilX 🇺🇸

User avatar
Lacewing
Posts: 2811
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:25 am

Re: Hardships

Post by Lacewing » Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:48 pm

duszek wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:19 am
What hardships have you survived and how have they strengthened your character ?
Great holiday topic! :D

The hardships that rocked my world include childhood abuse, rape, and a family member's suicide. However, for some reason, I was born into this world happy and adventurous, so it's my nature to find my way through things and then create better things. For example, at one brief point in life, I had to hitchhike around and I ended up living in an abandoned hotel with three bikers. :!: I was the only one who had a job, and I remember buying a few groceries with my waitress tips so that we could all eat steak one night -- it just made sense. I also decorated the dreary walls with full-page photos of beautiful flowers that I found in a magazine -- that made sense too. But I couldn't stay there long, as one of the bikers was losing his patience with me avoiding him. (These days I enjoy a wonderful career, and I own land and have developed a beautiful homestead on it.)

My life has been full of challenges to try to make sense of things. That must be the attraction of this forum for me... as there is so much senselessness. :lol: It is fun and invigorating to openly say exactly what I'm thinking in response to crazy shit. Fascinating, too, to see some of the potentials that people are playing out, which I wouldn't have imagined. Bizarre that so many people think and proclaim that they possess extraordinary awareness and absolute truth that others don't.

I am grateful for each day, and I treasure the opportunity to see how much love, joy, and fun I can create and experience... all while dancing with the games and distortions of every day life. I can't take it too seriously... I focus on loving and sharing as much as I can... because it's magnificent and that's what makes sense to me.

User avatar
-1-
Posts: 2035
Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:08 am

Re: Hardships

Post by -1- » Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:35 pm

Lacewing wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:48 pm

Great holiday topic! :D

The hardships that rocked my world include childhood abuse, rape, and a family member's suicide.
This is a tough call to beat. You ought not have gone second. Now everyone is stumped.

Not to diminish your heroism, no, not at all. I just bemoan that I now can't post about my broken fingernail and a failure at learning to hum without looking ridiculous put next to your post.

User avatar
Lacewing
Posts: 2811
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:25 am

Re: Hardships

Post by Lacewing » Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:58 pm

-1- wrote:
Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:35 pm
This is a tough call to beat. You ought not have gone second. Now everyone is stumped.

Not to diminish your heroism, no, not at all. I just bemoan that I now can't post about my broken fingernail and a failure at learning to hum without looking ridiculous put next to your post.
:lol:

Please don't let that stop you from sharing your experiences. I would like to hear how your character was strengthened from having a broken fingernail, and failure learning to hum. Sounds fascinating!

There's such a wide range of trips we all have in this world. I'm taking mine in stride. I can talk about it like it's just another day of life... because it is. For me there's always SO MUCH MORE than "just that" -- and that goes for whatever happens in any particular moment. Humans make stuff a "big deal"... which we then build big convoluted stories on top of, and we tie our identities to that. That's limiting. It's all just stuff. Your profound revelations from your fingernails are just as real and important as any other human stories! :D

User avatar
-1-
Posts: 2035
Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:08 am

Re: Hardships

Post by -1- » Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:09 pm

Okay, broken fingernails made me love old country music... "Every time I pick my nose ah lose a piece of me... every time I see your pantyhose, I see a stream of pee." (From Rita McNeil's "Broken promises are like hangnails".)

And as for my failure to learn how to hum... it made me a better man, stronger to life's adversities, a better lover (rated now 5.7 on the Richter Scale), and a hot headed philosopher who could change the world (but does not, because he hates the smell of poop.)

Happy holidays and a merry New Year, Lacie!

User avatar
Eodnhoj7
Posts: 2529
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:18 am

Re: Hardships

Post by Eodnhoj7 » Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:05 am

Spent 2 years in a Catholic Seminary with the intent on becoming a priest, instead spent two years trying to avoid molestation by homosexuals. In the mean time half the place speaks a foreign language and all of them are older. Had times where a seminarian poored water in my lap write in the middle of a party, had times where the whole place was laughing at me, priest asked me to turn around in front of him, one said I had the body of "apollo". Stuff like that. I ended up literally strangling one of the seminarians later. He acted like a puppy afterwards. I laughed.

During one of the summers I was assigned to a rectory. For 3 months I stared at a wall. We had a wedding, and the priest actually forgot to take me...the only seminarian he had. Meanwhile I am asking for work to do, just to stay busy and carry my weight...but there was none. Just went visiting the sick and taking an older priest out for ice cream.

Same summer met a girl, a youth group leader. Fell in "love", standard whirlwind romance. I said to myself, I like her, I enjoy her company. If this lasts 6 - 9 months I will propose. Meanwhile, she is fucking a 16 year old as an 18 year old. I am 20 at the time.

I became sick of the hypocrisy within the seminary, sexual, financial, etc. abuse. So....

Decided to go join the army during my final semester there, until the recruiter forgot to show up...twice. I then decided that if the army would forget a simple meeting, twice, what would it do if I signed up? I already knew what happened to most vets afterwards. It doesn't take a genius to understand what happens to the military man, one only has to look at the streets to see what happens to them...I know because I spent 6 months feeding them...3 months with my own money. I heard all of their stories.

Dealt with one pulling a knife out on me, I just laughed. Most of them get by giving head, so a Christian man, at the time handing out food in order to do "good"...well it just does not work. Besides, most of them prefered flirting with the girls with us and barely cared about the food. I said to myself, "I am handing out food, much of which me and a fellow seminarian broth paid for with the little stipend money we have, and even then they really don't care." Most of them were actually picky with the food they were recieving, few ever even said a thank you.

Had conversation with some who you would never expect to see as homeless, nasa engineer, etc. The stories of the homeless are not limited to those of bums. They are not what they appear to be always.

I had one attempt to commit suicide in front of me. He was from guatemale and his parents died. I held him in my arms, he was crying and wailing saying "I want to die!" "I want to die". I held him trying give him some comfort, even though my shirt was getting covered in snot, spit and tears. I There was nothing I could do but stay there with him. Meanwhile my "Christian Brothers" did nothing. He reached into his pocket to pull something out, screaming in my arms "I am going to kill myself!" I thought it was a knife, so I slammed him to the ground and told someone to call the cops. This is in the middle of city keep in mind, and people literally walked by during the whole incident and did nothing. One self righteous yuppy on a bike yelled "Hey what are you doing" I yell backed "call the cops, this man is going to commit suicide!". He just rides off. I reach into his pocket...and you know what I found? Safety scissors...... The cops come. I walk back asking myself "what...the...f'ck".

So I go to finish off my degree, as a criminal justice major at a seperate school. They hold meetings in the dorms over people wiping feces in the wall, c"m on the floors, etc.


During my internship my final semester, I spent time at the County Police Department. I worked at the jail, and all the jailer did was say "don't do this career you will make more at seven eleven." He then proceeded to tell me how miserable he was and told be all the usual stories of people "J""king off with their own sh"t", "Ripping sinks out of the wall". So I go back to the security desk position I was assigned. For three months I did nothing again. The cop ending up marking off that I wasn't "doing enough", meanwhile I was asking for anything to do to alleive the boredom. I stayed because I was offer a job after the internship, until the sheriff was arrested for verbal threats, and then the only job available was for a jailers position.

I then preceded to work in some oil fields in the middle of winter. I would stand there for hours spraying the same spot watching the water freeze. I was on a crew of four. All of them had white hats, and I was the only guy with a blue hat. I would be called to show up at the work office for 6 in the morning. They would not show up until 8. I did not get paid for it in the meantime.

So I left. I then did door to door advertising for awhile. The job was good, I got to walk 9 miles a day and talk with people. Until the whole operation was shut down for being illegal. I then preceded to an air conditioning company. Would be continually screamed at by some midget all day, in front of the boss. The boss did nothing. The midget almost ran me over with a truck one time, speeding 25 mph about 2 feet from me. Boss did nothing. Accused of misplacing items half of the time, only for the boss to realize it was other employees faults. No apology. I yelled at the boss one day for not working hard enough. Layed off.

I then proceeded to a security job at a chemical plant, where half the animals roaming around had tumors growing on them, only to be ratted out for doing curls and pull ups in the gym during a 12 hour shift. It was some janitor. I got fired after being brought in to the office and told I would not be allowed to work out. I explained I did a round of pull ups, curls, etc. in the gym to stay awake. And I only did them when I make my round through the gym. Didn't matter to him. So I calmly said I would do them anyhow. Fired for gross negligence.

Then proceed to a warehouse job. I spent all day boxing pastries, etc. Accused again for stealing by the boss. Was found innocent upon review of the security tapes. Designated to count the money, but it became awkward when the woman in charge (who I got along with real well) brought up some sexual innuendo and wore a see through shirt one day. Full blown see through. I had applied to the carpenter's union in the mean time, so I left to do carpentry. Lifted dry wall all day, and aggravated a disk injury, so had to leave. Felt no loss, as the guy I was working with on the scissor lift 30ft up in the air told me about his stint in jail and how him and his cell mate got high and were blowing eachother. "Okay..." was my response during the whole time. I just nodded my head and smiled.

Did a few other jobs with the carpenter's union and was laid off for the most minute things, such as misplacing a laser level. Keep in mind I showed up to work 40 minutes early everyday, kept my mouth shut, and did what I was told. Corrected constantly for working to hard, but "I am being paid to work, what else am I suppose to do?" That is what I told myself. Other jobs I would be thrown in as a floater, as I walked on to the job site without calling the union rep asking for work. Layed off because I left a few ounces of cocking on the floor, in a 30 story building. Random journey man came up to me and complained. I never met him before, I said I would clean it up when I finished the work I was doing. Layed off and replaced with the bosses friend.

Meanwhile I am a first year apprentice and I don't know what I am doing. Later got chewed out by union rep for walking on the job and asking for work. Did a few other jobs, with similiar problems. Only found out later I got laid off because I was working to hard and making everyone else look bad. Did a stint working at three mile island. I slept under a tarp in the mud for three weeks and was happy for the peace and quiet. The guy, I went with freaked out third week in over girl issues and left me there. Keep in mind I drove up with him. Foreman named Nick offer to let me stay at his place with his wife and kids. His buddy came to me one day and said how Nick, really liked me. I nodded and said I liked working with Nick. The guy said, "No he really likes you". I then put it together he was trying to f'ck me. The continual gay jokes and saying "you remind me of my wife when you put that shirt on" probably should have been the ticket. I called my brother to pick me up, as my "buddy" I drove up with left me there. I paid him 300 for the trouble.

Got together with my cousin who was a Harvard polymath and wrote a screen play with him. In the mean time he said he would help be get published and into harvard. One day, he wanted to show off the work "we" did. I used the word "I" too much, and he got offended. I then proceeded to point out in the 60 pages I wrote, in a week, which line was "his". Harvard fell through as you could have imagined. I said f'ck it and sent a 120 pg thesis as an application. Never got a response back.

Took a job at a fabrication plant. Lot of problems with the fellow employees because I "worked to hard" according to my boss. One screamed at me, so I politely told him "it would be wise if you think of your children next time you address me like that. Noone respects a cripple." He was friendly ever since. Meanwhile they were giving me the jobs of 3 men at a time because of my work ethic. Move to another line, because I worked hard, more trouble with an employee who kept mouthing off week after week. Told my boss I did not want to deal with him and I "just wanted peace and quiet". Bossed did nothing. Keep in mind I severaly sprained by ankle two weeks prior, and they want me at work the next week. I got 75 dollars for workers comp. I got fed of with the worker after coming back so I spit water in his face because I was tired of it.. He punched me in the face 3-4 times. I then proceeded to give him a hammer because "he hit like a b'tch and obviously need it". I was admired by everyone for how collected I was during the whole incident and the fact I was making jokes the whole time...then got fired. In all truth I was bored during the whole incident.

Over the course of 6 years, due to working out to hard, suffer injuries in 9 Disks in back and neck, injuries to both shoulders and ankles. I trained so hard I shrunk a full inche....it took me years to get that inch back.

At 28 still move around faster and stronger than an 18 year old, but I know in 20 - 30 years I have no future but to sit in chair and rot alone from athritis. And you know what? I am not afraid of it. Meanwhile I was/am looking for a girl just to grab a cup of coffee with and get out and forget life for moment. But either I am stuck with the option of being eskimo brothers with half of the people I know, a heroin addict, or some self-righteous Christian telling me about "God's love"....f'cking seriously?

Mean while my father is on the verge of death everday, is taking 50-100 nitro glyercin pills in a three day period average, and constantly called me a failure for not making enough money. But when I paid for his meds, no apology. Mother has arthritis in hip and back and complains all day about it. That is what I go home to after a long day of work. Everyone I love dying slowly and painfully. Aunts and uncle are old and dying also. I moved around all the garbage everyone accumulated over their lives, just to minimize their stress. Whole family is dying, and all I heard growing up was how everyone was screwing everyone over business deals and money.

The option of reverting back to the innocent phase of life and having a few laughs with girl is not there. My guy friends don't take me out because their girlfriends or "crushes" start flirting with me. But whatever, and "whatever" is the word, as almost all the relationships I have observed over the years end up in divorce over the woman cheating on the man. So nothing really lost on my part. I have learned the days of just innocently looking forward to a date and a few laughs are an illusion. And I am not taking care of another man's kids.

To top it all off, and this I do not expect anyone to believe as I am not sure I do, a f'cking ufo lights up my room. My neighbors seen it in the back field of their property, along with some 8 foot object hovering over the treeline of my house. So I got f'cking little green men interested in my ass...what is new.... I am not sure I even believe it to be frank.

Spent last five years dealing with a father who has congestive heart failure, a mother who is losing movement because of arthritis and constant criticism from everyone around me because I am not "married". Constantly accused of being a "player" or "gay", when the simple truth is that I am just a normal guy who was trying to do the right thing and not sleep around. Asked a few friends for help in meeting a girl, just to get out on date, but because I don't smile enough people get intimidated around me.

Had an ak-47 pointed at my head, then said f'ck it, I don't want this.

The simple truth, I have learned, is in order to understand the world you have to try to do the right thing, no matter the cost. When you do this, you understand it is mostly perpetual suffering and their is nothing you can do about it.


As I look back I grew up walking the path of "virtue" and would not sleep around with the exception of marriage. When you are in your early twenties and girls are chasing you, turning your head down and looking away is the only option. The problem is that you tear yourself apart. Gave what money I had to the poor, even my coat at times, and you know what? People don't appreciate it. They think something is owed to them.

There is no option to settle down and have a moderately peaceful life. The option to marry and have kids is not there. The option to work hard and provide for a loving family is not there. I am not blaming anyone at this point in my life, not even myself, no point in it.

The simple truth I have learned is that darkness is a perpetual constant...and at this point in my life...I really don't care.


What did I learn? Happiness is for the weak, at the end of the day rage, fear, and a sense of triumph are the only virtues which define a man's life.

The truth is all of this taught me two things: You get by in this world through sheer force of physical and intellectual will. I sacrificed myself to myself. I have done it before and I can do it again.


Meanwhile I am labeled the "bad guy" wherever I go because I "do not smile enough"...okay. But people love me because I am funny and in good shape. Take those two things away and people want nothing to do with you. Unless you are constantly entertaining people noone likes you.

That is it for now, as the post is way too long, and there is more to to tell.

So what am I going to do next?

I am going to get published in a philosophy journal, even though the odds are against me for not having a masters or Phd. The odds can go f'ck themselves...then probably become a mercernary somewhere in some foreign country. I haven't killed anyone yet, torn a few ligaments in person, but never killed anyone. The chaos will be a nice change. I'll be laughing the whole time, because it will alleviate the boredom I currently feel, and that is what I struggle with most...boredom. I only played paintball one time, but destroyed a whole team on my own, while shooting my own team also. It is important to have fun in life, otherwise what is the point. Besides the death "looming over my head" and the destruction should be exciting. Maybe if I am lucky I will even be taken prisoner and raped...that would put the cherry on top and would be a funny story worth selling.

Am I crazy? I don't think anyone has the moral authority to judge me...I quite frankly don't care even if they do. Merry f'cking Christmas during the season of "love" and "cheer".

User avatar
-1-
Posts: 2035
Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:08 am

Re: Hardships

Post by -1- » Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:49 am

I don't know, are we allowed to argue in this thread, or are we supposed to cry on each others' shoulders?

It would look silly to argue with a guy who had had such an abjectly hard life. On the other hand, I live the soft life of some loser who is cuddled by a socialist system in a rich country, so what do I know of the life of the poor in some tougher places. Push ahead, get nowhere, but the same old, same old, no matter what book you hold.

Red and Black, Black and Blue, don't cry for me, Baby Blue. Blood and steel, steal and bleed, enough for you? g't out of here. Love is just a legend, hate is what you know, people stab each other, in the angry gods' shadow. Expire already, you yid, wap, nig or jap, finish off the feeding with a punch or a punishing stab. Believe in no promises, believe in no good will, too many hungry faces, and your faith will tilt then wilt.

duszek
Posts: 2187
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:27 pm
Location: Thin Air

Re: Hardships

Post by duszek » Mon Dec 25, 2017 4:03 pm

Thank you for your honesty.

Are you grateful for the hardships because they allowed you to mature ?
Or do you rather loathe them because you are a broken person now ?

User avatar
Eodnhoj7
Posts: 2529
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:18 am

Re: Hardships

Post by Eodnhoj7 » Mon Dec 25, 2017 9:53 pm

duszek wrote:
Mon Dec 25, 2017 4:03 pm
Thank you for your honesty.

Are you grateful for the hardships because they allowed you to mature ?
Or do you rather loathe them because you are a broken person now ?
I am just warming up.

User avatar
-1-
Posts: 2035
Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:08 am

Re: Hardships

Post by -1- » Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:57 am

Eodnhoj7 wrote:
Mon Dec 25, 2017 9:53 pm

I am just warming up.
Awesome reply. I really like it.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests