I have had that pure ocean of oneness which is blinding clarity. I was so convinced that there is a God that I refused to look at any other alternative. I could literally see the oneness in everything. I KNEW everything was just one. I KNEW that the universe itself was a single organism and I was a part of that oneness.Dontaskme wrote:Nothing changed.
For my love there is no charge.
There is no change for what is free.
To deny God is to deny you.
Without you there is no God. God is you, and you are God.
That which appears to change is only possible within that which does not change, for how else would you know change without never changing.
When you meet God for the very first time it will literally hit you like a million volt lightening bolt, in that same instant you will vanish into the pure ocean of oneness which is blinding clarity.
It went away as I started considering other possibilities. Reading science which I have a very tough time with was a headache but I was determined to prove the atheists wrong. I came up with amazing ideas and concepts which blew my friends minds. But as I read more all the concepts slowly were proved wrong.
One by one it all fell away till finally only Consciousness alone remained.
I even grappled with a theory of a consciousness field pervading the universe like the Higgs Boson field which imparted consciousness of varying levels to different entities depending upon criteria which I could not identity. I was pretty proud of that one and even talked to a scientist friend about it. He was non-committal but I assumed I had not managed to get my point across. And there was the complexity of the universe. Of course there was a designer! how could there not be? And that designer could only be the consciousness which gathered data and used it for evolution. It all made perfect sense. Whatever the biologists said, I knew they were missing something.
I was convinced that Consciousness was the key and since life was the best example of consciousness, biology and physics would have to find a common ground and only then would they be able to come to a Grand Unified Theory.
I was that brilliant.
Then I read Darwin and books on genetics and all my grand theories fell away. I realized life could very possibly spontaneously evolve. Some thinking led me to the conclusion that even consciousness could possibly evolve spontaneously. So my field theory was killed. Very disappointing but there it was.
I realized that over the immense timescale of evolution it was very possible for such complex designs to come up. This one surprisingly took the longest and long discussions with my nephew, whom I was trying to convince of the Intelligent Design, ended with me coming away convinced that there was no intelligent design.
The only thing that still remained was the question, what was BEFORE the big bang. My last hope. Obvious Leo explained that one away. So I was left with nothing. I came away a pure atheist.
SO I have been there. I know how everything is one. I know there is no you and there is only me and you are just an extension of me though your are really not even that. But it all went away.
The cure was reading and the ability to accept I was wrong.