WHY can't the religions bring the mankind forward ?

[bobevenson]

It's okay to live a fantasy Bob. It's not okay to spread the delusion.

It's no different than any religion or belief system that touts itself as uniquely sanctioned and inspired and "true". They ALL say it.

But none of them can offer prophetic certification as I have done.

[Dalek Prime]

It's okay to live a fantasy Bob. It's not okay to spread the delusion.

It's no different than any religion or belief system that touts itself as uniquely sanctioned and inspired and "true". They ALL say it.

But none of them can offer prophetic certification as I have done.

We're sorry, but we've had to cancel your certification.

Thank you.

Signed, Prophetic Certification Associates.

[Obvious Leo]

We're sorry, but we've had to cancel your certification.

That's what happens when you don't pay your license fees, Bob.

[Dalek Prime]

We're sorry, but we've had to cancel your certification.

That's what happens when you don't pay your license fees, Bob.

Pay your bills, Bob! Show us the money!!

[bobevenson]

See, that proves that I'm a prophet and the rest of you are just a bunch of assholes (oh, I'm sorry, make that arseholes for you British bastards).

[Dalek Prime]

See, that proves that I'm a prophet and the rest of you are just a bunch of assholes (oh, I'm sorry, make that arseholes for you British bastards).

No, it just proves you're a deadbeat lol!

I'm okay with 'asshole', BTW. Donkeys have holes too.

[bobevenson]

Donkeys have holes too.

Yeah, but not in their fucking brain!

[Lacewing]

See, that proves that I'm a prophet and the rest of you are...

WHO, exactly, does it prove it to, Bob? YOU? How does that establish reality for anyone else? The proof you use to believe in things seems convoluted and highly questionable. But then, we knew that -- and we're not even claiming to be prophets (we don't have to because awareness and intuition are available to all, and are way beyond being copyrighted which clearly doesn't validate anything.) Which brings me to ask...

WHO/WHAT might it be that is actually "informing" you, Bob? Have you ever considered that you're being misled by a dark alien force that preys on the slow-witted and gullible? The fact that your ideas have gone nowhere, except to keep you intoxicated with them, might be a warning sign that you are spinning in a drunken stupor.

[Dalek Prime]

Donkeys have holes too.

Yeah, but not in their fucking brain!

*Draws gun* Does now.

[bobevenson]

See, that proves that I'm a prophet and the rest of you are...

WHO, exactly, does it prove it to, Bob? YOU? How does that establish reality for anyone else? The proof you use to believe in things seems convoluted and highly questionable. But then, we knew that -- and we're not even claiming to be prophets (we don't have to because awareness and intuition are available to all, and are way beyond being copyrighted which clearly doesn't validate anything.) Which brings me to ask...

WHO/WHAT might it be that is actually "informing" you, Bob? Have you ever considered that you're being misled by a dark alien force that preys on the slow-witted and gullible? The fact that your ideas have gone nowhere, except to keep you intoxicated with them, might be a warning sign that you are spinning in a drunken stupor.

Let's see, John on the isle of Patmos wrote the book of Revelation in the year 96AD. His ideas didn't go anywhere for almost two thousand years until I wrote "The Ouzo Prophecy." John didn't spin in a drunken stupor just because nobody had the slightest idea of what he was talking about. I am simply continuing that prophetic tradition, my friend.

[Lacewing]

Let's see, John on the isle of Patmos wrote the book of Revelation in the year 96AD. His ideas didn't go anywhere for almost two thousand years until I wrote "The Ouzo Prophecy." John didn't spin in a drunken stupor just because nobody had the slightest idea of what he was talking about. I am simply continuing that prophetic tradition, my friend.

So does this mean that your "contribution" won't go anywhere for two thousand years either, until the next version (the "Wackadoodle Archives") is written? This doesn't seem like a very effective process, Bob. What exactly is it accomplishing for... anyone... anywhere? Or is that part of its "mystery": that it's not MEANT to accomplish anything?

[bobevenson]

"The Ouzo Prophecy" offers the reader spiritual salvation in a game called Ouzo, and it begins with the following D-Day invasion:

Newsletters
Beer Seeking Distributors - Edition D161
Ouzo Game Company - United States

New Promotional Game for Beer & Bars

Ouzo improves the popular bar game of liar's poker played with the serial number of a dollar bill by using a roll of 3,000 tickets with sets of eight computer-generated random numbers printed in rank order and pulled from a plastic dispenser. The advantages of Ouzo are having true random numbers not found on a dollar bill, having duplicate numbers grouped together in rank order for player convenience, and not having to continually bother the bartender for fresh dollar bills to play with.

On both sides of the dispenser and on the back of each ticket is advertising that will provide effective and low-cost promotion of your beer to increase brand awareness and distribution. But Ouzo is more than just a brand advertising vehicle, it's a partnership to help increase the bar's overall business. A micro-test in six bars of your choice will prove Ouzo's promotional value.

A description of liar's poker can be found at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liar%27s_poker

[Lacewing]

"The Ouzo Prophecy" offers the reader spiritual salvation in a game called Ouzo"

So, drinking beer in a dimly lit bar while trying to read little numbers on a ticket is supposed to bring me spiritual salvation? What if I don't need spiritual salvation? What if I just want to drink beer and have cosmically inspired conversations with friends? What if we spill beer on our tickets and then they end up on the floor, and the bar owners get tired of sweeping up soggy tickets? What if the dispenser runs out of tickets before everyone gets theirs... does that mean those people can't have salvation? And then, what if a fight breaks out over the only available tickets?

Most of all, Bob, I'd like to know what kind of spiritual salvation you think people need?

[bobevenson]

Well, bitch, first of all, you have to read "The Ouzo Prophecy," and secondly, you have to understand it. But if you don't understand it, the game of Ouzo will provide a shortcut to your stupid fucking brain.

[Lacewing]

Well, bitch, first of all, you have to read "The Ouzo Prophecy," and secondly, you have to understand it. But if you don't understand it, the game of Ouzo will provide a shortcut to your stupid fucking brain.

Oh now, c'mon Bob... there's no need to get angry and call me names. Didn't you even get a little giggle out of the visual I provided? I mean, really, can't you see how this could go to an extreme... where drunk people start fighting over tickets to salvation? It's FUNNY... don't you think?

There are a lot of things in life that I feel no need to read or subject myself to, and the Ouzo Prophecy is one of them. Mostly because you're a terrible salesman. I mean, if you're an example of what it does to a person, I don't want to go there... sorry. Now if you were radiating clarity and beauty and compassion and excellent communication skills, I might be intrigued. But I'm guessing that this idea is MORE about you making money, and you've put a "spiritual" tag on it to try to make it seem divinely inspired. You're not the first to passionately push ideas of salvation, you know? It usually doesn't go well... which I think is MOST revealing... and which is why my vision of the bar fight seems like a credible possibility. Do you have insurance for potential lawsuits?