Changing names

[reasonvemotion]

Marriage and a woman's decision to change her name.

Something I never thought of as I exchanged vows. I was now married to the man of my choice and taking his name had nothing to do with being "oppressed" and it never felt like it was archaic. I never had strong feelings about keeping my old name and my "new" name suited me very well, albeit a horrendous name to spell, which I have got down to a fine art to speed up the process. Like for example, B for Bob, or A for apple, to lessen the confusion.

I don't dislike my name, I like it, but it doesn't define who I am, so the change was almost unnoticeable to me, anyway.
Even though I am now divorced I still retain the name of the man I married.

I often wonder why, a woman chooses to retain her old surname or why people change their names for other reasons.

[The Voice of Time]

Sentimentality?

[johngalthasspoken]

Sentimentality?

INDEED

[reasonvemotion]

How does a man feel or think about "giving" his name to a woman.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

It's a left-over from a time when female offspring were considered a burden. The parents were so grateful to be rid of the burden that they even paid the man to take it off their hands with a dowry of gifts. The name change showed that the woman was now the property of her husband. All very degrading and archaic. I don't think any woman should change her name.

[johngalthasspoken]

How does a man feel or think about "giving" his name to a woman.

Females act upon reality through men.Taking husband's last name would make her feel like an extension of her husband & denotes her willingness to submit to a higher authority.for a woman,her entire self worth is based upon how she relates to the men in her life.It's all about the quality of men she can attract & if that's not her strength,then it's quantity.Beyond that females have no purpose or value.
Personally i think it's a stupid tradition & I feel the same way about the stupid ring, only Because marriage is a monumental waste of a man's potential, not that i give a rat's ass about what women feel..

[The Voice of Time]

How does a man feel or think about "giving" his name to a woman.

Now I'm not married but I don't see why anyone should care if others than themselves carried their last name ^^ of course I mean single situations like the one you mention. I understand for instance how bothersome it can be to share the last name with Bieber or other stars. In fact I recently read an article on the matter of sharing names with stars causing a lot of people a lot of unwanted attention and bother at Facebook and other places, and I also understand how liberating it is to how a rare name. Only one other person in Norway on Facebook carries my full name, and though I don't use my own name on Facebook but a secret pseudonym, when I did use it it makes things easier, and me easier to spot on the search list, mostly for the better.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

How does a man feel or think about "giving" his name to a woman.

Females act upon reality through men.Taking husband's last name would make her feel like an extension of her husband & denotes her willingness to submit to a higher authority.for a woman,her entire self worth is based upon how she relates to the men in her life.It's all about the quality of men she can attract & if that's not her strength,then it's quantity.Beyond that females have no purpose or value.
Personally i think it's a stupid tradition & I feel the same way about the stupid ring, only Because marriage is a monumental waste of a man's potential, not that i give a rat's ass about what women feel..

I know you aren't serious. You said you yearned for a baby on another thread so underneath the bravado you are just a sensitive new age guy in sandals and socks.

[reasonvemotion]

in sandals and socks

Do you think that is the reason "the cheque book will have to be used" to buy his bub?


Not a good look!

[Atthet]

I know you aren't serious. You said you yearned for a baby on another thread so underneath the bravado you are just a sensitive new age guy in sandals and socks.

It doesn't matter if he's serious, princess. He's true, whether he's telling it seriously or as a joke. Either delivery results in the same end.
Women take on the name of the husband, to demonstrate possession and property. Women are property of men, because women are irresponsible when they hit a certain intellectual limit that they cannot exceed. Men are responsible for women, and women are responsible for children.
Taking care of children is the easiest task of nature, and one suited for the simple minds of women. It's too difficult to screw up, yet sometimes, women can't even get that right. Women need the jobs and tasks in life, that are almost impossible to screw up.

[ForgedinHell]

Flip a coin for it. The coin toss could be part of the wedding ceremony.

[Lynn]

Marriage and a woman's decision to change her name.

Something I never thought of as I exchanged vows. I was now married to the man of my choice and taking his name had nothing to do with being "oppressed" and it never felt like it was archaic. I never had strong feelings about keeping my old name and my "new" name suited me very well, albeit a horrendous name to spell, which I have got down to a fine art to speed up the process. Like for example, B for Bob, or A for apple, to lessen the confusion.

I don't dislike my name, I like it, but it doesn't define who I am, so the change was almost unnoticeable to me, anyway.
Even though I am now divorced I still retain the name of the man I married.

I often wonder why, a woman chooses to retain her old surname or why people change their names for other reasons.

When I married, I didn't give changing my maiden name much thought - it is my name and I did not feel any compulsion or pressure to change to my better half's name - the prospect of getting married at all was a big enough surprise to me. On a practical level, neither did I want the additional hassle at the time of actually planning the wedding of changing my name on my bank accounts, passport, work id and, god forbid, network login and email address! On the rare occasion where I am referred to by his surname, I politely correct it whereas he laughs it off when he is referred to by mine but this is only in jest by my colleague who was also his student .

A friend reverted to her maiden name after her first divorce and her young son, who disliked his father's surname, then started to use his mother's maiden name too. Surprisingly she has kept her second husband's surname following their separation. Though only married for a few months, another woman retained her married name after the marriage ended. Years later, both she, Mrs, and her former husband's girlfriend, Miss, were in the same maternity together having their babies yet the Mrs was treated more respectfully than the unmarried Miss.

Either way it can be a label that can be used to your advantage.

[Outsider]

Marriage and a woman's decision to change her name.

Something I never thought of as I exchanged vows. I was now married to the man of my choice and taking his name had nothing to do with being "oppressed" and it never felt like it was archaic. I never had strong feelings about keeping my old name and my "new" name suited me very well, albeit a horrendous name to spell, which I have got down to a fine art to speed up the process. Like for example, B for Bob, or A for apple, to lessen the confusion.

I don't dislike my name, I like it, but it doesn't define who I am, so the change was almost unnoticeable to me, anyway.
Even though I am now divorced I still retain the name of the man I married.

I often wonder why, a woman chooses to retain her old surname or why people change their names for other reasons.

Your ex. was rich and well-accomplished in your eyes, and taking his name was satisfying because you partook of his success without having to do a thing.
How about if he was an animal and a sub-human and an adulterer? Would you keep his name even after divorce?

[reasonvemotion]

Your ex. was rich and well-accomplished in your eyes, and taking his name was satisfying because you partook of his success without having to do a thing.

That is incorrect. Why does a rich and accomplished man marry? If he does, who does he marry and why?


But you can't answer that as you are neither rich nor accomplished!

[chasw]

The strangest thing I ever encountered in this area was a man I worked with years ago, let's call him Joe Baker, who got married to a woman he fell in love with, lets call her Sally Jones. In the interest of gender equality, he/they decided to adopt a hyphenated name. Not Baker-Jones, as is conventionally done, instead Joe Baker became Joe Jones-Baker.

I guess he wanted to go the extra mile and prove his progressive bonafides. My thoughts at the time were, why change your names at all? If Sally Jones doesn't want to become Sally Baker, then don't. You can still be happily married and have different names. So as not to levy any baggage on the children, IMO they should always inherit their father's surname, no hyphenation. - CW