Immanuel Can wrote: ↑Sat Jul 02, 2022 3:46 pm
"Tend to socialize"? More than men with men? Because if it's equal, then the behaviours ought to be identical. There should be "toxic connections" in equal proportions. Why do women, then, say they experience worse in that regard than the men?
That's a good point. I think there are a few reasons, but I will also have to mull. First, I don't think men form as close connections. Or the connections are by osmosis. They are less openly emotional. They do rather than speak. Their toxicity can come out in violence generally against other men who are not their friends, much less frequently against women in their lives. Two, until fairly recently they had direct outlets for aggression in ways that women did not. In general. That's been shifting. It would be interesting to see if toxic relations between woman is affected by participation in sports. Also, I think it is more acceptable to be tough, cut people off in a conversation, express rage, dominate for men rather than women. So, women's aggression is more likely to come out indirectly - passive aggressive shit, negative gossip, judgmentalness. You may be told you are being bitchy but you won't get classed as essentially a bithc for this.
But I am not fully satisfied so I have to mull more. You don't hear men complain about each other as much as you hear women do this. At least, in my experience. Are the men sitting on their bitchiness? Do they care so much about cars and sports teams and not interpersonal feelings that they just don't go for each other? Do they not admit they are hurt?
I dunno, good question. I'll mull.
But I do think women are capable of all sorts of toxic behavior.
What would that look like, do you think?
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I have some examples above. I mean, don't get me started. I recently got shit all over by a female narcissist. (and I mean that clinically, not as an insult). Playing the victim, manipulating people to be her knight's in shining armor, spreading lies. calling in organizations with lies. One incredibly effective pattern was to be passive aggressive, through body language, voice tone, interrupting, condescending comments until someone would pop - and men and women were victims of this - then playing the victim card, then getting her boys together to advocate and punish and....
oh, man it's been a couple of years. This was a covert narcissist not the more open kind. Since I was friends with this person before, I know how she actually views people including her flying monkeys
What does flying monkeys mean in narcissism?
When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.
but that's all deniable. It has been like playing chess with the devil.
But you know for all that, when it comes down to how the world is set up, I think most of the big players causing the most horror are men.