What do men and women actually really want from each other?

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Dontaskme
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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:47 am

Lacewing wrote:
Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:27 pm
He made me laugh so hard... I loved it. There were people who would seek out his posts for entertainment. But some people took offense, and we know how that can squash creativity. I think he's still around sometimes...but he seems to mostly keep quiet. :cry:
I wasn't sure about him at first because one cannot tell who people really are by just going on what they write on a forum. But it wasn't until I was feeling really pissed off one day on the forum that I realised what a decent character Harbal actually was. I found that out one day when completely out of the blue quite unexpectedly I got a PM from him asking me if I was alright? ..that PM spoke volumes about the sort of person he really is. So he's on my christmas card list now LOL (just kidding :wink: I fucking hate christmas. :twisted:

Lacy, thanks for all your responses. The parlance in which we both define the human condition is similar. I agree with mostly everything you have said in reply to me. However!! :wink: I peronally don't think life is worth the addmission fee for a human, but that's just my opinion. A new topic on that subject could be started actually. I wonder if the subject topic ( Is being born worth it - or is it better to have never been born? ) would be worth talking about? :idea:

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Lacewing
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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Lacewing » Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:14 pm

Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:47 am
I peronally don't think life is worth the addmission fee for a human, but that's just my opinion. A new topic on that subject could be started actually. I wonder if the subject topic ( Is being born worth it - or is it better to have never been born? ) would be worth talking about? :idea:
Sounds good!

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Lacewing
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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Lacewing » Sun Sep 08, 2019 5:00 pm

Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:47 am
I wasn't sure about him at first because one cannot tell who people really are by just going on what they write on a forum. But it wasn't until I was feeling really pissed off one day on the forum that I realised what a decent character Harbal actually was. I found that out one day when completely out of the blue quite unexpectedly I got a PM from him asking me if I was alright? ..that PM spoke volumes about the sort of person he really is. So he's on my christmas card list now LOL (just kidding :wink: I fucking hate christmas. :twisted:
Harbal has a tender, caring heart (he might not appreciate me saying that), while he can also be a master at pinpointing absurdity and delivering it with skillful dry humor. The reactions and interaction that has evoked from people at times, has been hilarious. I have a real fondness for that about him.

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:33 am

Lacewing wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 5:00 pm
Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:47 am
I wasn't sure about him at first because one cannot tell who people really are by just going on what they write on a forum. But it wasn't until I was feeling really pissed off one day on the forum that I realised what a decent character Harbal actually was. I found that out one day when completely out of the blue quite unexpectedly I got a PM from him asking me if I was alright? ..that PM spoke volumes about the sort of person he really is. So he's on my christmas card list now LOL (just kidding :wink: I fucking hate christmas. :twisted:
Harbal has a tender, caring heart (he might not appreciate me saying that), while he can also be a master at pinpointing absurdity and delivering it with skillful dry humor. The reactions and interaction that has evoked from people at times, has been hilarious. I have a real fondness for that about him.
I agree, which makes him very unique. And sometimes, people are not always what they appear to be, I have found this out so many times before. Someone who comes across as being way too pushy and full on with their lovely dovey affection for you even though they have never ever met you is a bit of a red flag to be wary of. That example has happened to me.

But the ironic thing about me being pissed off on this forum was that what I believed at the time to be why I was feeling pissed off, was due to Harbal's replies to my posts, so it's ironic that it was him who found it in his heart to one day PM me to ask me if I was alright. He couldn't have known it was his replies I was being pissed about. So it was as if he just had some general concern, which was a very humble thing to do. I really like and admire those qualities in people..it's rare.

No one has ever done that before...I responded saying yes I'm ok thanks, and no more communication ever followed, it was all so genuine and sweet.Now when ever Harbal posts here, my tummy hurts from laughing so much.

I don't think he realises how loved he is, or how funny he is.

.

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frosteagle
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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by frosteagle » Sun Sep 15, 2019 8:17 pm

Women and men want what they think they want until they don't, then they want what they think they want then... dot dot dot...

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:38 am

Other objects that appear separate from us are like movie screens to us that can give us entertainment, especially the animated objects.

Men and women, dog and cats and all other animated objects are how we here entertain ourselves, since there is nothing else to do here otherwise. Also, non-animate objects like tv's and ipads, iphones, and laptops are like movie screens too, they too entertain us, but only because there is the belief that the objects within the inanimate objects on the screen are animate objects.. :P

And just a thought came to this awareness here....women want men because women want babies, and men give women babies because men want women.. :lol: :lol: maybe? :roll: who knows what's going on in the mind of another, I guess we'll never really know, you know.
You cannot know another, you can only know yourself. We have to entertain ourselves somehow. For the human, a still mind is like a still wind.

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Lacewing » Sun Sep 22, 2019 4:53 pm

Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:38 am
women want men because women want babies
That's not why I (or any women I know) want men. 8)
Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:38 am
and men give women babies because men want women.
Okay that's cute...but too narrowly defined, of course.
Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:38 am
You cannot know another, you can only know yourself.
Who knows? Maybe you can know another better than you can know yourself. :) Or maybe know neither.
Dontaskme wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:38 am
We have to entertain ourselves somehow.
As a friend of mine says "What else are we going to do with eternity?" He imagines that we go round and round, playing this out in all different ways, often with the same group of people.

I don't think of life/existence/awareness within this dream/reality/whatever as something to get beyond or escape. I don't think of it as a "lower state" or punishment or prison. It is a CHALLENGE, for sure, but that's part of the adventure of playing with unknown potential, with a limited set of parameters. How does one play the game? Having fun or not, seems based on attitude and sportsmanship. :) Is "winning" anything more than a momentary sense of accomplishment before looking for the next game? So why not keep playing?

I don't favor philosophies that want to negate everything to some point of non-play. As if nothingness or singleness is desired and superior somehow. As if all of this bounty of creativity and experience and interaction is inferior and despised. It's like turning up one's nose at a huge banquet table of delights, and then dying of starvation. If that's the way to a "god" or "complete awareness", then that god and awareness must be a delusion to deny so much.

What if playing is the point to everything?

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am

Lacewing wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 4:53 pm

I don't think of life/existence/awareness within this dream/reality/whatever as something to get beyond or escape. I don't think of it as a "lower state" or punishment or prison. It is a CHALLENGE, for sure, but that's part of the adventure of playing with unknown potential, with a limited set of parameters. How does one play the game? Having fun or not, seems based on attitude and sportsmanship. :) Is "winning" anything more than a momentary sense of accomplishment before looking for the next game? So why not keep playing?
Being alone is often easier than not being alone, but is this just a form of escapism? In my opinion, it's each to their own. Iron is only tempered by entering the fire. Ok lets all burn, or not. In the end, we're all going to die, there is nothing to win or accomplish except the addiction to winning and accomplishing, for what gain, but to lose it all in the end. It's kind of like those darn arcade machines, how many times have you walked out of those places with more money that you walked in with?

Lacewing wrote:
Sun Sep 22, 2019 4:53 pm
I don't favor philosophies that want to negate everything to some point of non-play. As if nothingness or singleness is desired and superior somehow. As if all of this bounty of creativity and experience and interaction is inferior and despised. It's like turning up one's nose at a huge banquet table of delights, and then dying of starvation. If that's the way to a "god" or "complete awareness", then that god and awareness must be a delusion to deny so much.

What if playing is the point to everything?
As if nothingness or singledom is like some superior state of being :roll: I hardly doubt it, human beings are obsessed with their own image. Other people are their mirror. People are a total void without other people to be their mirror. So I think it's the other way around, human beings are totally obesssed with their own image - and so this commonly shared addiction is the superior state of being...imho

Not everybody enjoys the rat race that is human eye gazing at other human eyes. In fact hardly anyone looks at another person square on in the eye without blinking these days for fear of looking at themself. :shock:

There is nothing being denied within the Nonduality camp, being awakened is not about 'being alone' . Nonduality is about 'being'.

And this 'being' is not 'some-thing' but can emerge as every kind of thing, included being alone or being together. As I said earlier, each to their own. It's not about turning your nose up at a particular state of being in favor of another. The desire for solitude is just as tasty as any other banquet, personally I prefer to eat alone. At least then you don't have to worry about those rather silly awkward moments when one makes really loud pig slurping noises or when one gets tomato and mustard ketchup all round their mouth and face. So yeah, eat the grapes and spit out the seeds when it comes to living your personal groove, everyone is different that's all.

While it is true that human beings are social creatures and love to be around their own kind. There is also an existential crisis within the human condition which is like a gnawing hunger to belong and to be accepted. So the desire for companionship can be a form of escapism too.

There seems to be a built in assumption that awakening or enlightenment is a permanent state of bliss that just clicks in one day.
But that's just an old wife's tail, it's just more new age bamboozle. In reality..there's just the really big realisation that ''...I think therefore I AM an asshole...'' :lol:

This startling blinding epithany that I AM an asshole, and all the other mirrors were assholes too, was like a big BOOM!!
The epithany was huge big freedom, a final permission to be in bliss was right there in that moment of boom!!
It also happens where it happens, it happens when it happens. And when I think I'm in control of it, that's just me playing again.

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Lacewing » Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm

Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am
In the end, we're all going to die, there is nothing to win or accomplish except the addiction to winning and accomplishing, for what gain, but to lose it all in the end.
There is the present moment. There can be joy and play in the moment, as well as gain and loss in the moment. There does not have to be any addiction.
Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am
human beings are obsessed with their own image. Other people are their mirror. People are a total void without other people to be their mirror
I don't think this is true. It seems to be suggesting that all/most interaction is shallow, and that human beings are obsessed with their own image, perhaps innately...such as even when they are young children and have no concept of their own image. There is much depth in human beings to be explored either alone or in the presence of others -- and I don't think that most humans are a total void without some kind of mirroring obsession.
Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am

Not everybody enjoys the rat race that is human eye gazing at other human eyes. In fact hardly anyone looks at another person square on in the eye without blinking these days for fear of looking at themself. :shock:
Can you see that you're making some extreme blanket statements here? What does the "rat race" have to do with gazing into another's eyes, and what does "NOT looking another person square in the eye" have to do with fear of looking at themselves? There are many possibilities surrounding all of these ideas. It sounds likes you're trying to explain some logic for your own discomfort/disinterest in interacting.
Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am
There is nothing being denied within the Nonduality camp
That's a denial right there... and it's untrue.
Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am
Nonduality is about 'being'.
So is duality.
Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am
It's not about turning your nose up at a particular state of being in favor of another.
Well, that absolutely does come across in discussion, even if you circle back around later and say "it's all good, and there's nothing higher or better". It's natural for people to think that their philosophical perspective is better... even those in the "nonduality camp". Philosophies break their own rules all the time. :D And I'm just pointing that out at times. How else do we keep each other reminded and aware of the tales we spin?

My reference to being at a banquet is about a person's perspective about life/existence/everything. I'm not suggesting that we must experience that as a group. I'm simply pointing out that (any) philosophies may turn up their nose at (and therefore deny) the VAST creative potential that can be explored and appreciated. Reduction can be limiting. :D

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Thu Sep 26, 2019 8:29 am

Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
There is the present moment. There can be joy and play in the moment, as well as gain and loss in the moment. There does not have to be any addiction.
Addictions are a huge part of the human condition . .why deny the truth? I know you don't like looking at the truth Lacewing, you may even know and accept it deep down in your being. You are not alone, often the truth cannot be handled, and swept under the rug. I don't worry about thinking the truth out loud or what negative responses follow, because for me, all positives are born from the negative. I know that nothing belongs to us, and that wanting things to last or stay is addictive behavior. Nothing really does last for ever.

Addictions to technology, the internet, addictions to social media platforms, addictions to electronic devices. Addictive behavior is a common human practice . .addictions to the opposite sex, the same sex, no sex, addictions to making money from youtube vlogging videos. Addicted to positive comments for their videos, rejection of negative comments, name calling people who hold a different view point a bigot is the addiction to ones own view point ...the list of addictions is endless, I could list another hundred addictions and that would only scratch the surface of addictions held by humans ..why deny the truth, just accept it, humans are addicts. Take everything away from the modern human, sending humans back to the stone age will reveal their addictive behavior to be the only driving force of their entire existence. The adaption/withdrawal period will be pitiful, painful and long. We have become hopelessly enslaved by our own desires and wants. Show me a person who wants nothing. Nothing lasts forever.


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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Thu Sep 26, 2019 8:42 am

DAM: human beings are obsessed with their own image. Other people are their mirror. People are a total void without other people to be their mirror
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
I don't think this is true. It seems to be suggesting that all/most interaction is shallow, and that human beings are obsessed with their own image, perhaps innately...such as even when they are young children and have no concept of their own image. There is much depth in human beings to be explored either alone or in the presence of others -- and I don't think that most humans are a total void without some kind of mirroring obsession.
In the context of there is no you without other is it true. But then you wouldn't understand that context would you Lacewing simply because you are addicted to your own context, the way you see it.

The outside external world is the mirror for consciousness - everything that is the external world is a reflection of the inner consciousness.

You aka consciousness are the void that cannot see itself directly except by looking at it's reflection.

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Thu Sep 26, 2019 8:52 am

DAM:

Not everybody enjoys the rat race that is human eye gazing at other human eyes. In fact hardly anyone looks at another person square on in the eye without blinking these days for fear of looking at themself.
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
Can you see that you're making some extreme blanket statements here?
So? :roll:
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
What does the "rat race" have to do with gazing into another's eyes, and what does "NOT looking another person square in the eye" have to do with fear of looking at themselves?
Eye gazing into other eyes is seeing yourself...see previous response.
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
There are many possibilities surrounding all of these ideas. It sounds likes you're trying to explain some logic for your own discomfort/disinterest in interacting.
Well you would say that wouldn't you? you only see what you want to see.

I see only the truth behind the eyes of another. For me personally, it is neither disintrest or discomfort, pleasure or pain, sorrow or joy. I see just TRUTH. Not everyone can handle the truth. Eye gazing into another is not for the faint of heart.

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:00 am

DAM: There is nothing being denied within the Nonduality camp
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
That's a denial right there... and it's untrue.
I don't deny anything. For me personally, there is nothing to lose when you've got nothing to lose. That you deny that I don't deny anything is your denial not my denial.
DAM:
Nonduality is about 'being'.
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
So is duality.
There is no such ''thing'' as Nonduality. Non-duality IS duality. How can duality not be duality?

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Dontaskme » Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:14 am

Dontaskme wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:40 am
It's not about turning your nose up at a particular state of being in favor of another.
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
Well, that absolutely does come across in discussion, even if you circle back around later and say "it's all good, and there's nothing higher or better". It's natural for people to think that their philosophical perspective is better... even those in the "nonduality camp". Philosophies break their own rules all the time. :D And I'm just pointing that out at times. How else do we keep each other reminded and aware of the tales we spin?
In the belief that reality is real as in not a dream..Rules are there to be broken. In reality as in a dream there aren't any rules, there's just what's appearing and disappearing to no one.
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
My reference to being at a banquet is about a person's perspective about life/existence/everything. I'm not suggesting that we must experience that as a group. I'm simply pointing out that (any) philosophies may turn up their nose at (and therefore deny) the VAST creative potential that can be explored and appreciated. Reduction can be limiting. :D
So what? :roll: I never mentioned group activity.

I'm referring to the unlimited sense of being,including the being that is being alone and eating alone as one of the many VAST potential creative experiences that can be explored.

You seem to have this obssession with the words ( denial and limitation)

Whereas I don't deny anything and see unlimited vast potential in everything and everywhere.

Those who choose to be a philosopher can only know what they know so far. And that any knowing will only arise as and when it becomes known and not one second before, so in effect limitation is about experiencing the unlimited potential that you are infinitely for eternity.

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Re: What do men and women actually really want from each other?

Post by Lacewing » Thu Sep 26, 2019 3:59 pm

Dontaskme wrote:
Thu Sep 26, 2019 8:29 am
Lacewing wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 7:45 pm
There is the present moment. There can be joy and play in the moment, as well as gain and loss in the moment. There does not have to be any addiction.
Addictions are a huge part of the human condition . .why deny the truth? I know you don't like looking at the truth Lacewing
I'm saying that there does not have to be any addiction in the moment. Are YOU addicted ALL THE TIME? If no, then don't you understand what I'm talking about? Why are you accusing me of denying the truth?
Last edited by Lacewing on Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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