Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

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Dalek Prime
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Dalek Prime »

If there's a chance that love will happen, doesn't it follow that it will happen by chance?
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

reasonvemotion wrote: Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:09 pm For the majority of us, love is the one part of our lives we believe happens to us solely by chance.

For years passion was not considered a solid basis for marriage until recently.

Here we must exercise caution. When two people instantly fall in love, they are in love with an idealised concept of each other, which eventually, nearly always, ends in disaster.

How many of us would put in the effort needed to keep a relationship going when one person cheats on the other?

What about physical attraction. Yes. It is important, but too much of a good thing, can turn into a bad thing and instead of love it is lust. I chuckle here as some may disagree vehemently with this.

Does it make sense to enter into an aranged marriage where both parties can learn to love each other gradually and travel on solid ground.

I dont believe we have one person only for us. Our soulmate. That is for the poet and his/her muse.

Should we wait around hoping for our true love to happen upon us.

Should we use our common sense and plan for it, like we plan for a career, or anything else, reject the fairytale aspect of it.

Some are quite content without it.
2 cents.

first become your own best friend (if you do not like yourself - figure out why and fix (no other will like you if you do not like yourself).

then be ok with being alone (after making peace with yourself)

then welcome another in your life - if that happens (don;t force it - that = fail (codepenency).

it great if you find another with a similar spirit - just make sure you are not "projecting" upon them what you would like them to be to meet your expectations.

..............

I've been through all the aboves - such is life.

good luck!
gaffo
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Re: *takin' about love as noun, here...not love as verb

Post by gaffo »

henry quirk wrote: Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:51 pm As some wag put it: 'love ain't nuthin' but lust misspelled.'

Way too much attention is paid to gland-based longings/appetites.
very true!!! i like big butts (small top - so uber pears) - when lust is there, the mind becomes even more clouded.

for me, lust is vital - so i must be even moreso "on guard" per projecting what i wish for the gal i'm involved with.

others may not be so fixated on the physical as me, so i do not speak for them.

just sayin here, and agree with your post on the matter.
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

artisticsolution wrote: Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:20 am
I see falling in love as an aesthetic thing we do.

??


artisticsolution wrote: Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:20 am Passion is a wonderful thing...it is sublime...but it isn't real...it's all about appearances and by appearances I do not mean looks as in she is hot or he is not, I mean appearances on a deeper level ....
for me lust is animal/appearance (hips for me).

nothing more - nothing do with character.

i love my best friend - who is a hipless male.

he does not offer me enough for marriage - nor would a same said female if/when i find one.

but thats just me.

animal lust and love are entirely separate - the wholy grail is to find both in one person (wihtout deluding myself in thinking via my hindbrain that "She is the one".
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

artisticsolution wrote: Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:20 am
There is absolutely nothing wrong in loving a man and seeing his faults too. In fact, that is the basis of truly loving a person.
yes concur fully!!!!!!

you are not a male i assume.

women are less fixated upon the physical (outside of TALL!!!!!) - then us males.
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

Kayla wrote: Fri May 24, 2013 4:52 pm i know an old couple who had a very long and happy marriage - over 60 years

they told me that they met in grade 1 and knew that they wanted to marry each other the day they met

and in their case they were in love way before sex entered their thoughts at all

they think that is what made it work for them
I've know a couple like that.

for me upon puberty - such a mindset seemed foreign to me.

but thats just me.
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

sofocles wrote: Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:59 am

Absolutely. That is more wishful thinking or delusion.

agreed.

sofocles wrote: Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:59 am You have to work for it, and "make" your soulmate rather than find it.
disagree here.

you can't make one a soulmate.

when you find a soulmate there is no work needed to start a relationship.

there is work to mantain it longterm, but that is different than what i think you are stating.
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

Dalek Prime wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2016 2:11 am
vegetariantaxidermy wrote:
Dalek Prime wrote:I find it easier to go online for it ie. prostitute myself. :lol:
At least you are honest. :)
It's hard to meet people these days.
indeed so.

and most are not worth knowing IMO

sadly.
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

Hobbes' Choice wrote: Mon Aug 29, 2016 4:20 pm
Walker wrote:
Hobbes' Choice wrote: Both Burton and Taylor were great actors.

But do you know why their characters are so angry with life?

Were you paying attention?
I’ve obviously stepped in your milieu.

You have the floor, Mr. Film Critic.

Do tell.
They are bitter because they lost a son; possibly fictional. Either lost or not capable of having children.
They are not in a relationship that is going to fall apart. They are in a game that only they can share, and understand, a bond that none can come between. They are in for the long haul.
not seen that movie - think Burton was an overactor myslef (i.e. Heston/Shatner) (Taylor was better actress IMO). when you mentioned of "lost son" my mind went to a movie with better actors (IMO).

Ordinary People


WTF is this forgotten classic NOT ON BLURAY!!!!!!!!!!! - instead all we have as a VERY PISS POOR DVD transfer ;-(.
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

Walker wrote: Sat Sep 03, 2016 8:42 am Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966): Killing Martha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWgIOb_U2Hc

And then he landed flat in a huckleberry bush!

Brilliant naturalism. Gritty black and white. Shadows. Camera too close to slightly distort facial features. Loud. Brassy! On the edge. If only they had the HD technology so we could see the pores in the flesh. Surely, everyone has some dim human memory. Quite artful.
you know your movies and have the mind to see the message.

i respect that.

i need to rent the above movie..................from somewhere (library?).
gaffo
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by gaffo »

Dalek Prime wrote: Sat Jul 28, 2018 5:51 pm If there's a chance that love will happen, doesn't it follow that it will happen by chance?
i think all is by chance - good or ill.

IMO of course.
Dalek Prime
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Dalek Prime »

gaffo wrote: Mon Jul 30, 2018 5:39 am
Dalek Prime wrote: Sat Jul 28, 2018 5:51 pm If there's a chance that love will happen, doesn't it follow that it will happen by chance?
i think all is by chance - good or ill.

IMO of course.
The opportunities, certainly. What we make of them is up to us, within reason.
Walker
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Walker »

Dalek Prime wrote: Tue Jul 31, 2018 12:25 am
gaffo wrote: Mon Jul 30, 2018 5:39 am
Dalek Prime wrote: Sat Jul 28, 2018 5:51 pm If there's a chance that love will happen, doesn't it follow that it will happen by chance?
i think all is by chance - good or ill.

IMO of course.
The opportunities, certainly. What we make of them is up to us, within reason.
Science permits chance.

For the mystic, nothing happens by chance.
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Greta
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Re: *takin' about love as noun, here...not love as verb

Post by Greta »

henry quirk wrote: Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:51 pmWay too much attention is paid to gland-based longings/appetites.
Hear hear! Chance? Chemicals? Magic? It doesn't matter. Animals sometimes hook up. Hurrah hurrah.

Still, for romantics the need to have someone trustworthy and compatible over the long term with which to share costs, body fluids and heat is essential to survive. Still, eventually the hormones will settle down and sanity gradually dawns :)
Dalek Prime
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Re: *takin' about love as noun, here...not love as verb

Post by Dalek Prime »

Greta wrote: Tue Jul 31, 2018 10:47 am
henry quirk wrote: Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:51 pmWay too much attention is paid to gland-based longings/appetites.
Hear hear! Chance? Chemicals? Magic? It doesn't matter. Animals sometimes hook up. Hurrah hurrah.

Still, for romantics the need to have someone trustworthy and compatible over the long term with which to share costs, body fluids and heat is essential to survive. Still, eventually the hormones will settle down and sanity gradually dawns :)
That'd the thing that gets me, though. Yes, we are animals. But what's the point then of having a rational brain if we don't allow it to control our base instincts, or at least attempt it? Or are we satisfied we are no better than rabbits?

I probably expect too much.
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