Reminds me of that scene from Woody Allen's Another Woman:
Man: How arrogant! How self-centered and feelingless!
Woman: I told you I didn't want a baby!
Man: What do you mean, "didn't want a baby"? It was partly mine!
Woman: Except it's my life that gets derailed. You go on doing what you want and I have to stop and bring it up.
Man: But we'd share the responsibility.
Woman: You know it would devolve down to me.
Man: I wanted this baby!
Woman: I told you, it was not part of my plan.
Man: But you [aborted it] it without consulting me.
Woman: Consulting you?! It's my baby! Do I have to consult you for every move I make? It's only your ego that's hurt.
Man: You said you wanted children.
Woma: I do, but not now.
Man: I don't have the future stretched out in front of me indefinitely.
Woman: It's easy for you to say. You've done your work. I'm just starting out, trying to make something of myself!
Man: But you could do it without asking me! Or giving me a chance to argue you out of it!
Woman: I didn't want to be argued out of it. We've talked this to death! lt was unwanted! Do you want to bring a child into this world? Really, you're the one that hates it so much, forever lecturing me on the pointlessness of existence.
Man: I hate you so! To be capable of such a lack of feeling! Knowing how I felt!
As with most questions like this, each of us will have his or her own "personal opinion". And that opinion, in my view, is rooted existentially in the individual life that we lived. And continue to live. Different historical and cultural contexts, different personal experiences, yield different historical and cultural narratives, different personal convictions.
So the point always becomes this: As philosophers, are we able to "think up" and then to demonstrate to others what all rational and virtuous men and women are obligated [re Kant and others] to believe about gender roles and abortion?
Then those here who insist that how they think about it is how the rest of us either think about it in turn or they are simply wrong.
Re one or another God or secular dogma.