Dating question

[Philosophy Explorer]

Say you're getting acquainted with someone you've just met and want to get closer. Before you do that, you want to respect that person's privacy and not ask that person if he/she is married or mated. Would it then be the responsibility of that person to reveal that private information?

PhilX

[Eodnhoj7]

Say you're getting acquainted with someone you've just met and want to get closer. Before you do that, you want to respect that person's privacy and not ask that person if he/she is married or mated. Would it then be the responsibility of that person to reveal that private information?

PhilX

Depends on how uptight the woman is...one' woman's romantic is another's creepy.


Look for a ring.

Ask about family history (example: she does "x" for a living..."That is an interesting job, did any other's in your family pursue that career?" at which point she should bring up family).

I asked out a married woman once by accident...she took it as a compliment and was flattered. We get along pretty well now.

[gaffo]

I concur with the above post in general - except about looking for a ring (that will just make you paranoid and not ask out any woman wearing rings).

i find many women were rings - on many fingers, including thumbs! (and some wear "fake rings" - i.e. not married but wear a ring to "Ward off men approching them".

just ignore any/all rings - if you like what you see, ask them out.

they will either like you approaching them or not.

its always better to be shot down than to never have tried (you do the latter and you will hate yourself for cowardice for at least a day or week afterward - and too all sorts of "what ifs". and that is no fun!

[gaffo]

you will find as you get older your skin gets thicker and you care less and less about how foolish you look/if she will reject you/etc..........

so time is on your side, trust me .

[duszek]

Beating about the bush can be fun and reveal a person´s creative side.

What strategies could we prepare in advance ?

[-1-]

Beating about the bush can be fun and reveal a person´s creative side.

What strategies could we prepare in advance ?

Advance strategies:

- Advance with caution
- have at least 1 prepared joke that is neither sexist, nor racist, nor Jew (i.e. not funny at all -- women love those types of joke)
- be spontaneous and funny, lighthearted but deep, silly but serious, humble but powerful, timid but aggressive, apologetic but self-assured, white but black, false but true. Women like that.

[Skip]

It depends on where and under what circumstances you met.
If the situation allows, prolong the conversation and watch for signs of impatience. If she fidgets, let her go; possibly asking, "Am I holding you up?" or "Is there someplace you need to be?". That's an opening for her to mention who might be waiting.
If she's in no hurry and seems to enjoy your company, look for a chance to to drop some version of the "come here often?" chestnut.
On parting, you can ask, "Will I see you again?" That's a non-pushy compliment, and leaves her a more graceful way out than the more direct, "I'd like to see you again." In some situations, it's even okay to offer her a ride or to accompany her on foot.

[Kayla]

you can also ask that person's friends - that often works

this might still be awkward

a had a couple of guys ask me if "my friend" (they meant my wife but did not know this at the time) has a boyfriend

no, but..... awkward