When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

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Beauty
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When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:11 am

When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be? I'm sure practically all of us somewhere or another have been through that, so what would you say would be an appropriate response to being bashed at? What's your view?

My view is that, to say we must maintain our cool is inappropriate since it is just not possible, for we all have feelings. To say that we must be nice to others is not enough, for we must be nice to ourselves too, and that dictates that we give an appropriate response. Some will say be diplomatic, but diplomacy in the face of our anger is not possible. Ignoring the philosopher(basher) here, then we limit our scope. What do you think? What must the response be? I'm curious as to your response, for we all have our own way of thinking/feeling/imagination/understanding etc.

thedoc
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by thedoc » Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:37 am

If it's really an unjustified bashing, I would say "Don't feed the Troll", but if you post something stupid, than you deserve to get bashed.

Beauty
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Tue Oct 11, 2016 6:51 am

Well you may be right actually in not feeding the troll, but then how would you defend yourself which you should, and I've seen that in doing so, further bashing comes. So then what do you do? Also, in so much as writing nonsense is wrong and must not be done, bashing really comes when we have made a brilliant post, it doesn't come to people who write stupid. So I guess that we just follow our conscience, then we would make the right decision.

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TSBU
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by TSBU » Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:59 am

Beauty wrote:When people bash us on forums without any justification...
English insults and attemps to hur other people in forums are sweet kisses compared with Spanish forums in my opinion.

Justification is a word with a meaning depending in everyone, people always feel justified to do what they do, of course, you may not agree with them. Suppose that a young man comes here talking about drugs and how wonderful they are, about some dangerous surgery to make him pretty, strong, taller or whatever. About how wonderful is life in North Korea(Or how that isn't wrong...). All that things happen. Well, I can feel that the best thing for that young man is to say him "you are only saying stupid things, you can't be more wrong" etc.

In many forums you can call a moderator and ask him to bann the trolls, in this one people can say whateverthey want (at least that's what it seems), so...go out o the forum (make your own forum if you don't like moderators in any one of them) or... deal with them, ignore them, attack them... it depends in what do you want to win doing what you do, so it depends in the case.

But, how can trolls touch your feelings? why? that's the important part, maybe you should look more inside yourself, maybe you see this world as a place different than it is, and it hurts when you see something you don't expect. I'm used to insults and flames, The only thing I feel if they are just that is... "Uiii! an excuse for entertainment!"

Walker
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Walker » Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:15 am

Beauty wrote:When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be? I'm sure practically all of us somewhere or another have been through that, so what would you say would be an appropriate response to being bashed at? What's your view?

My view is that, to say we must maintain our cool is inappropriate since it is just not possible, for we all have feelings. To say that we must be nice to others is not enough, for we must be nice to ourselves too, and that dictates that we give an appropriate response. Some will say be diplomatic, but diplomacy in the face of our anger is not possible. Ignoring the philosopher(basher) here, then we limit our scope. What do you think? What must the response be? I'm curious as to your response, for we all have our own way of thinking/feeling/imagination/understanding etc.
Hello Beauty.

Just accept it for what it is, without resentment. Easy to do when you just wander in, easy to learn and then apply to life. So, what fills the void that resentment filled, when resentment is gone? Amusement and humor, until attention naturally wanders elsewhere.

Beauty
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:56 am

Very nice attitude both TSBU and Walker, I must say.

thedoc
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by thedoc » Tue Oct 11, 2016 2:10 pm

This is a forum that offers voluntary participation, you can post if you like or ignore whatever you want. It would be nice to see a brilliant post on occasion, but unfortunately the really good ones are few and far between, most participants come on a forum for a pissing contest to prove to them selves that they are better than everyone else. Some members come on a forum to demonstrate that their particular deviant activity is normal, and just like everyone else. The effort to justify some perversion, seems to be very common on forums. I like to post about ordinary things that happen in life, but there are some who feel that a forum like this should be restricted to only the heaviest and deepest discussions. Usually they only want their own opinion to be respected and praised, and everyone else's opinion should get bashed.

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Lacewing
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Lacewing » Tue Oct 11, 2016 2:53 pm

Beauty wrote:what would you say would be an appropriate response to being bashed at?
I think there are many ways to do it. For example:

No response -- The bashing and/or the person doing the bashing are too stupid/pointless to interact with; the interaction isn't worth your time; you're not in the mood; there's no value or fun in responding

Bashing them back -- Entertainment for yourself or others; fine-tuning your bashing skills; correcting false assumptions; trying to knock some sense into them on their level

Trying to reason with them -- Fine-tuning your communication and temperament skills; promoting broader understanding; seeking shared understanding

Of course, all of this is based on one's own personality. A cooler head can see options such as these, and thoughtfully choose what they think fits. Whereas an angry reactive person might be inclined to spew mindlessly in response to anything that triggers them.

In general, I think if a person is learning from the online experience, and broadening their awareness -- rather than just affirming/cementing their own madness -- then these interactions are being well-used. I also think it helps to consider that we are all examples of the potential in humankind, and whatever we say to another who is being rude or stupid, is what we might say to ourselves for being that rude or stupid. So hopefully we can have some tolerance and a sense of humor while we do it. We are all of the same stuff... so perhaps we are trying to shake ourselves and/or each other more awake.

Beauty
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:52 pm

thedoc wrote:This is a forum that offers voluntary participation, you can post if you like or ignore whatever you want.
I agree with you.
thedoc wrote:I like to post about ordinary things that happen in life, but there are some who feel that a forum like this should be restricted to only the heaviest and deepest discussions. Usually they only want their own opinion to be respected and praised, and everyone else's opinion should get bashed.
I think we should be able to carry on light discussions on the ordinary everyday things together with heavy, deep discussions, for the heavy deep discussions are only for the ordinary things in life to go smoothly. To forget the latter in the process is to say that we lost focus somewhere. So what I am saying is that, we can have all various kinds of discussions you know, on this, on that, and they may be light or heavy, it should be alright. This way we have everything in life and we are all happy people.

Beauty
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:10 pm

Lacewing wrote: I think there are many ways to do it. For example:

No response -- The bashing and/or the person doing the bashing are too stupid/pointless to interact with; the interaction isn't worth your time; you're not in the mood; there's no value or fun in responding
But then the way they have labelled you or criticized you stays there as if true if you don't address it and say that it is not true.
Lacewing wrote:Bashing them back -- Entertainment for yourself or others; fine-tuning your bashing skills; correcting false assumptions; trying to knock some sense into them on their level
But this way you invite more bashing/criticism.
Lacewing wrote:Trying to reason with them -- Fine-tuning your communication and temperament skills; promoting broader understanding; seeking shared understanding
This one could work, but only if they are not jealous nor envious of your previous posts, for if they are, they only try to belittle you somehow and try to look big themselves.
Lacewing wrote:Of course, all of this is based on one's own personality. A cooler head can see options such as these, and thoughtfully choose what they think fits. Whereas an angry reactive person might be inclined to spew mindlessly in response to anything that triggers them.
I have always felt that a cooler head is of one who is not a good person, for in the face of injustice, the good one reacts immediately and it is only the said word, but the bad one is kind of action, 'daggers in the back,'(in the sense, kicking you out of the forum) and manages to look like a good person even in the process. Sometimes there might be confusion. There might be more culprits, just not surfacing, or the one that seems like a culprit is really not, etc.

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Lacewing
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Lacewing » Wed Oct 12, 2016 12:20 am

Beauty wrote:
Lacewing wrote: No response -- The bashing and/or the person doing the bashing are too stupid/pointless to interact with; the interaction isn't worth your time; you're not in the mood; there's no value or fun in responding
But then the way they have labelled you or criticized you stays there as if true if you don't address it and say that it is not true.
Well, I listed various ways of responding. If you really feel that your reputation is at risk, then sure, do what you feel you need to. But there may be times that it's OBVIOUS that the person doing the bashing is an idiot... and there's no need to respond. You seem to be suggesting that a response is always needed... and I don't think that's true. I think that can make you look reactionary and defensive... and you will not convince anyone of anything.
Beauty wrote:
Lacewing wrote:Bashing them back -- Entertainment for yourself or others; fine-tuning your bashing skills; correcting false assumptions; trying to knock some sense into them on their level
But this way you invite more bashing/criticism.
Well, if you're having fun with it... and seeing value in it... you might be willing to play that way.

I think the issue here for you is that perhaps you have felt unjustly bashed, and it has hurt you, and so this is a personal issue for you? I was just answering your topic/question honestly from my own perspective, in which I see various ways for handling it. Most of the time when people bash me, I just think they're being stupid... and I'm guessing other people see their stupidity, as well... and I have no need to convince anyone of anything. Sometimes I even get a laugh out of it -- I don't take it personally because they don't know me!
Beauty wrote:
Lacewing wrote:Trying to reason with them -- Fine-tuning your communication and temperament skills; promoting broader understanding; seeking shared understanding
This one could work, but only if they are not jealous nor envious of your previous posts, for if they are, they only try to belittle you somehow and try to look big themselves.
It doesn't matter what they do or what's going on for them. That's their funky trip, and you're not going to change it. If you're not having fun or finding value, then keep looking for those who can interact with you in a way you're comfortable with.
Beauty wrote:
Lacewing wrote:Of course, all of this is based on one's own personality. A cooler head can see options such as these, and thoughtfully choose what they think fits. Whereas an angry reactive person might be inclined to spew mindlessly in response to anything that triggers them.
I have always felt that a cooler head is of one who is not a good person, for in the face of injustice, the good one reacts immediately...
Well, that's funny. Are you saying that you think being "reactionary" is a smart way to be? I don't. A cool head can be very ACTIVE as well, but it's not reactionary. A cool head SEES and thoughtfully assesses the best response of many options, instead of having a knee-jerk reaction. There are SO MANY ways to see everything, you know? The way we interact with it all is quite a dance! There are no certain steps all the time. That's the challenge in becoming masterful... which is what enables us to "dance"/interact with anyone (even in disagreement and attacks).
Beauty wrote:...but the bad one is kind of action, 'daggers in the back,'(in the sense, kicking you out of the forum) and manages to look like a good person even in the process.
Have you been kicked out of a forum?
Beauty wrote:Sometimes there might be confusion. There might be more culprits, just not surfacing, or the one that seems like a culprit is really not, etc.
You sound suspicious and on-edge. Have you felt under attack a lot?

This forum is full of bashing and attacks. You may not like that.

creativesoul
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by creativesoul » Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:44 am

Beauty wrote:When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be? I'm sure practically all of us somewhere or another have been through that, so what would you say would be an appropriate response to being bashed at? What's your view?

My view is that, to say we must maintain our cool is inappropriate since it is just not possible, for we all have feelings. To say that we must be nice to others is not enough, for we must be nice to ourselves too, and that dictates that we give an appropriate response. Some will say be diplomatic, but diplomacy in the face of our anger is not possible. Ignoring the philosopher(basher) here, then we limit our scope. What do you think? What must the response be? I'm curious as to your response, for we all have our own way of thinking/feeling/imagination/understanding etc.
If you feel bashed, and that invoked an emotional state of mind, then you can be sure that you have placed value upon the other person's worldview.

Stop and think about that for a minute.

Beauty
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:43 am

creativesoul wrote:
If you feel bashed, and that invoked an emotional state of mind, then you can be sure that you have placed value upon the other person's worldview.

Stop and think about that for a minute.
I didn't really think about that, but good point, I will.

Beauty
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by Beauty » Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:50 am

Lacewig, I agree with you regarding some ideas, but also disagree regarding some others. And, I think all forums bash and attack, not just this forum.

creativesoul
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Re: When people bash us on forums without any justification, then what and how should our response be?

Post by creativesoul » Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:05 am

Beauty wrote:
creativesoul wrote:
If you feel bashed, and that invoked an emotional state of mind, then you can be sure that you have placed value upon the other person's worldview.

Stop and think about that for a minute.
I didn't really think about that, but good point, I will.
Four pieces of advice, when if followed lead to a healthy thought-life. Make your words impeccable. Make as few assumptions as possible. Take nothing personally. Always do the best you can.

That said...

Remember that you are voluntarily entering into the public arena and sharing your world-view. Your world-view consists entirely of your own thought/belief about the world and/or yourself. When someone is responding to your words, they are responding to what those words mean to them, not what you mean to them. There are lots of mean people in the world.

There's nothing wrong with having another place your foundational belief system under suspicion. Learn what sorts of things are capable of being true/false and what makes them so, and you'll be able to have much greater understanding of everything people talk about, including what's being said when you feel bashed. Knowledge of that offers well grounded certainty in many cases regarding whether another knows what they're talking about.

Just because someone says this or that, it doesn't make it so. It is possible that your attackers have levied true charges regarding your worldview. It is possible that they have levied false ones as well. Knowing how to tell the difference between the two is imperative to appropriate, healthy, and justified reaction(or lack thereof). Other people are an irrevocable element within any successful method of pursuing, acquiring, forming, and/or holding true thought/belief.

We must first accept our own fallibility prior to being able to become aware of how and where we've went wrong in past so as to avoid making the same mistake in the future. We must place value upon the idea of intentionally holding as little false belief as possible. When one intentionally aims to identify, isolate, and remove as many false thought/belief as possible, s/he must look towards that which is external to their own world-view. That is the case because - all alone - one cannot recognize the mistakes in their own worldview. It is humanly impossible to knowingly believe a falsehood. Thus, when we arrive at the realization that this or that thing we thought was true is not, we can no longer believe that it is.

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