Apologies

[Walker]

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=15971&hilit=Apology+Hobbes+choice

Here’s an old thread about apologies.

Some wounded egos are probably just itching to post on it.

It's called never regret, never apologize.

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=15971&hilit=Apology+Hobbes+choice

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Here's a cut and paste of the first posting.

It's a good thread.

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Never regret, Never apologise.
Post by Hobbes' Choice » Tue Jun 23, 2015 7:16 am

Smart people, who are mindful and aware never have to apologise. Get out of that Christian blame/shame culture, there ain't no god to punish you, so grow up.

Apologies.

When the shit hits the fan and something goes wrong apologies are empty. They can only be a response to two things: 1) an admission of guilt, or 2) an admission of a lack of maturity.
I can think of no thing, which I have done that would ever deserve an apology. Were I to apologise for something I'd be admitting that I intended to do wrong. Well I have reached an age that if I intend to do wrong, then I damn well mean it, if not then the thing I am being asked to apologise for was an unintended consequence of an act I did NOT intend. Well If I did not intend it, then why would I want to apologise. How would an apology help? What is the function of an apology? Apologies are for children. They make them reflect on unwise action; they make them feel small and vulnerable in order that the child will reflect and change his ways. For an adult, no apology ought ever to be necessary. When things happen I EXPLAIN, I never apologise.

Regret.

Regrets are much the same as guilt trips that require apologies. Things can go wrong and you make mistakes. But a "mistake" is by nature unintended. When you screw up, and if you are mature, you have acted in the best possible way given your circumstances. No one intends to screw-up. If you do then why regret your decisions? At any given moment you pays your money and you makes your choice. Why would you want to regret a choice that YOU made? If you don't like it: reflect, learn., move on! Regret is an empty emotion that serves no purpose but self indulgence. I've known people who have regretted something for decades. WHY? Do Something about it! But stop bleating. Take control of your present. Move on. TO regret, is to regret who you are. You made the choice - live with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtGfyruroU

[Belinda]

I'd apologise for an accident that I have caused. If it were a bad accident I hope I'd get a chance to explain how I'd take care not to do such a thing again. Such an apology is accepting responsibility.


If someone apologises for something they intended or intend to do and especially when they have no intention of trying to do otherwise then it's not so much an apology as a lie. If they express remorse that only adds to the injury of the lie. It's aggressive while trying to seem mild and gentle.


Some people have a habit of apologising needlessly and this is irritating.

[Walker]

I'd apologise for an accident that I have caused. If it were a bad accident I hope I'd get a chance to explain how I'd take care not to do such a thing again.
If someone apologises for something they intended or intend to do and especially when they have no intention of trying to do otherwise then it's not so much an apology as a lie.
Some people have a habit of apologising needlessly and this is irritating.

Some people have a habit of apologising needlessly and this is irritating.

I've seen that in some people.

I figure it's a form of passive-aggressiveness.

"I'd apologise for an accident that I have caused."

Same here. When an apology is required, and sometimes it is, it's sincere and from the heart. If people trash that, that's their business.

Very funny clip from a movie, A Fish Called Wanda. It's a coerced apology.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwfuUyTMpVY
(warning, language)

[Belinda]

I agree that it's passive aggressive. It may originate in defensiveness.

[Walker]

I agree that it's passive aggressive. It may originate in defensiveness.

I think it's insecurity, because those who do it, do it habitually.

[Logik]

What a wanker.

It's called never regret, never apologize.

It's also called deny, deny deny, dodge responsibility and refuse to learn from mistakes.

Might as well leave this here for anybody else who cares.

Adults own and admit their mistakes, child. That's how learning works.

If your idea of adulthood is to be an outright c.u.n.t then demand others to "Be nice" when you don't reciprocate - expect a wake up call. Soon (tm).

I couldn't really give a shit if you apologized to me. I am merely using your continued refusal as evidence for your lack of integrity or backbone.

[Walker]

Gosh. You really have some issues.

[Logik]

Gosh. You really have some issues.

Need some help with introspection?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

[Walker]

To lie in wait like a snake will only harm you.

Get a grip on that hysteria. Perhaps take a break from the forum. You'll see things more in perspective, and you'll see how foolishly you're behaving.

Don't worry. I won't hold you to your hostility.

You'll find the forum and the people more peaceful because of your refreshed attitude.

Call it a mental detox. You need it.

[Logik]

To lie in wait like a snake will only harm you.

Get a grip on that hysteria. Perhaps take a break from the forum. You'll see things more in perspective, and you'll see how foolishly you're behaving.

Don't worry. I won't hold you to your hostility.

You'll find the forum and the people more peaceful because of your refreshed attitude.

Call it a mental detox. You need it.

See. A wanker

Be nice!

But seriously - don't sweat it. I've been where you are. Over-compensating for stuff.

You'll grow up eventually. It's not personal. I am trying to help you.

[Walker]

You're learning.

Just wipe the snot off.

[Logik]

You're learning.

Just wipe the snot off.

No. You still owe me an apology

Like I said - you made your bed. Might even charge you interest.

[Walker]

You're learning.

Just wipe the snot off.

No. You still owe me an apology

Like I said - you made your bed. Might even charge you interest.

Oh, that.

You'll get no apologies from me.

You do have issues, though. Behavior, attitude, accusations, demands for apologies, lacking a sense of appropriateness and perspective, grandiosity ... your pace of postings since joining the forum ... perhaps something in your personal life … indicates that you need a break from your new habit.

At least, you need a break from posting to me.
You can’t quite seem to handle communicating with me like a rational, mature adult.

Apparently, I have some unwanted control over your mind.

Maybe some medication, or maybe some less medication?

[Logik]

You're learning.

Just wipe the snot off.

No. You still owe me an apology

Like I said - you made your bed. Might even charge you interest.

Oh, that.

You'll get no apologies from me.

You do have issues, though. Behavior, attitude, accusations, demands for apologies, lacking a sense of appropriateness and perspective, grandiosity ... your pace of postings since joining the forum ... perhaps something in your personal life … indicates that you need a break from your new habit.

At least, you need a break from posting to me.
You can’t quite seem to handle communicating with me like a rational, mature adult.

Apparently, I have some unwanted control over your mind.

Maybe some medication, or maybe some less medication?

So you choose to remain a spineless Leftie with zero integrity ? OK

[Walker]

May I ask, have you ever been institutionalized for any mental health problems?

Lying in wait like snake will cause you problems.