Philosophy Now Forum

QuantumT wrote: ↑Sun Jul 22, 2018 10:38 pm When a mother uses her child as a weapon against its father, is it then child abuse?

If she uses slander and gossip, and accuses the father of abuse, and eventually turns the child aginst him. If she hinders contact by lying to the authorities. Raises the child with her own opinions. Basicly a brainwash.

Is that child abuse? Or is it not "that bad"?

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:43 am Just look at the number of times men have murdered their children as revenge against the mother (yes mothers have killed their children but the vast majority of cases of a parent murdering their children are committed by the father). I don't give a crap if it's not PC, but there is no comparison between a father and a mother. Men can produce offspring all over the planet and not even be aware of it. That's hardly the case with women. Mothers legally have to let their children go with their father, even if the children don't want to, and even if the mother is aware that the father might be a danger to them, but can't prove it. It could be just a 'feeling', and 'feelings' don't stack up legally. Sometimes there are no clues prior to the murders.
My father was ok I suppose, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been devastated if I couldn't see him. Children are often scared of their father.
And no, I wouldn't have felt 'abused' if my mother had complained about him. Children are perfectly capable of making up their own minds about a parent.
And don't blame women for being fearful and protective. Blame nature, and other males.

Ooh. I'll have the thought-police chasing me down with pitchforks and flaming torches.

QuantumT wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 12:45 pm

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:43 am Just look at the number of times men have murdered their children as revenge against the mother (yes mothers have killed their children but the vast majority of cases of a parent murdering their children are committed by the father). I don't give a crap if it's not PC, but there is no comparison between a father and a mother. Men can produce offspring all over the planet and not even be aware of it. That's hardly the case with women. Mothers legally have to let their children go with their father, even if the children don't want to, and even if the mother is aware that the father might be a danger to them, but can't prove it. It could be just a 'feeling', and 'feelings' don't stack up legally. Sometimes there are no clues prior to the murders.
My father was ok I suppose, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been devastated if I couldn't see him. Children are often scared of their father.
And no, I wouldn't have felt 'abused' if my mother had complained about him. Children are perfectly capable of making up their own minds about a parent.
And don't blame women for being fearful and protective. Blame nature, and other males.

Ooh. I'll have the thought-police chasing me down with pitchforks and flaming torches.

So, you're basicly defending wrong-doings by pointing to something worse?

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 1:50 pm Which 'wrong-doings' am I 'defending'? Your OP is just some vague (presumably) hypothetical ramblings with no specifics.

QuantumT wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 2:45 pm

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 1:50 pm Which 'wrong-doings' am I 'defending'? Your OP is just some vague (presumably) hypothetical ramblings with no specifics.

Sorry. I just added "falsely" to "accuses of abuse" to be even more specific, besides these specifications:

- Slander
- Gossip
- Turns the child aginst him
- Hinders contact by lying to the authorities
- Raises the child with her own opinions
- Basicly a brainwash.

You defend these actions? Simply because a few other fathers do worse things?

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:47 pm I'm not 'defending' them. The irony here is that you are on here 'bitching and gossiping' about the mother (presumably) of your 'child/children'.
Of course a child is going to raise her child with her 'own opinions'. Who else's is she going to use?
I really don't have a heck of a lot of time for whining fathers. I've yet to hear of a single one who happily pays child support. Usually they can't stand the thought of their 'ex' getting any of their 'hard-earned cash'. They also do a fair amount of gossiping and complaining (not to mention killing) of their exes. I was merely giving some reasons why some women might do what they do.

QuantumT wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:26 pm

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:47 pm I'm not 'defending' them. The irony here is that you are on here 'bitching and gossiping' about the mother (presumably) of your 'child/children'.
Of course a child is going to raise her child with her 'own opinions'. Who else's is she going to use?
I really don't have a heck of a lot of time for whining fathers. I've yet to hear of a single one who happily pays child support. Usually they can't stand the thought of their 'ex' getting any of their 'hard-earned cash'. They also do a fair amount of gossiping and complaining (not to mention killing) of their exes. I was merely giving some reasons why some women might do what they do.

I have no problems with my ex. I just avoid her. And we make it work. And I don't complain about the child support money.

The experience I have is from my own mother and my own childhood.
I am not angry with her, but we never talk. That's her own fault. She keeps playing the wounded role. It's nausiating. He never hurt her. Noone did.

I grew up missing my father. Longing for him. She took him from me. Now he's dead.

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: ↑Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:46 pm That's sad for you, but I was only pointing out why some women do what they do. Mothers are only people, and humans and their situations are infinitely complex and varied. She was obviously bitter about something. Children don't really know what goes on between their parents.

QuantumT wrote: ↑Sun Jul 22, 2018 10:38 pm When a mother uses her child as a weapon against its father, is it then child abuse?

If she uses slander and gossip, and falsely accuses the father of abuse, and eventually turns the child aginst him. If she hinders contact by lying to the authorities. Raises the child with her own opinions. Basicly a brainwash.

Is that child abuse? Or is it not "that bad"?