commonsense wrote: ↑Sat Sep 12, 2020 9:54 pm
As for leadership, I commanded a troop medical clinic, a battalion medical section, 2 family practice clinics and a disaster response team. I believe I was a very good life leader as I was selected as PA of the Year by the AAPA Veterans Caucus (1989).
Ah, so relatively speaking yours was a charmed life.
When I was 3.5 years of age my father suffocated me with fear, as I hyperventilated until unconscious, just because I accidentally walked in on him 'fucking', (father was always 'fucking' one woman or another, didn't have a clue what love making was), my mother during the afternoon, because I had to pee, I'd been holding it for quite some time, while waiting for my grandmother to come home, his mother, my oasis, so when he yelled at me, my pee holding was put on the back burner, now fight or flight was front and center, so I pissed my pants, he grabbed me and shook me, and it was then that I couldn't breath, and lost consciousness.
After that, I pissed the bed from time to time until I was 13, because I feared going into their bedroom to pee, the only access to the bathroom. Of course he punished me for pissing the bed for years and threatened to send me to school in a diaper, one day while doing my punishment, inclined sit-ups, I was 8 years old, I was doing 200 at that time, all of them consecutively, oh he was proud of that, one of my gonads swelled up to the size of a chickens egg, not my measurement, it's what I heard them say, so he took me to the hospital and blamed it on tight Levis, yes no gym shorts.
That was the start of my deterministic youth, at least that's the earliest experience I can remember. Luckily when I got out of the USN, I used my Vietnam era GI Bill to go to university, was going to major in philosophy and minor in psychology, I finally found out at the age of 34 that my pissing to bed was due to fear, finally a sigh of relief because it wasn't me, it was something external. At 52 I finally put 2 and 2 together and realized that he'd been punishing me for something he created, because it's a child's right to be able to go pee in his home without fear of death, which is what this 3.5 year old believed he'd experienced, because for a undetermined time all I saw was black, until I came back. There was no way I was going to go into their bedroom when he lie sleeping, possibly in wait, of my entering to go pee, to suffocate me yet again. All those sit-ups, humiliation, and one testicle in the bag, due to his lack of vision. Needless to say, he's very old now, pretty much don't even know his name, while I wait for him to die! My plan is to piss on his grave. Poetic justice!
Oh, there were a few good memories of dad, it's just that the bad outweighed the good. And I know that it was determinism that warped his abilities at healthy relationships, but he maintained his innocence and kept lying until he lost his ability to make sense of anything. Many years earlier mom even gave him the chance at seeing a psychologist/counsellor, but he said those scientists were quacks, while Einstein was his hero. Cherry picker, when all scientists use exactly the same scientific method???
So for those things I experienced, just the tip of the iceberg, I've done well, Deans list at university for 2 years, 16 years of protecting the free people of the world, or so I was told, with 3 honorable discharges, and recommendation for advancement and retention with 3.8 evals upon leaving. Even though I was busted down in rank on 3 occasions during my sixteen years, the last for smoking pot (wife illegally took son away) while being an aircrewman, (lost my wings), not on duty, rather busted positive on a piss test. I ended up as an E-5. Probably why I didn't get a 4.0. Where 3 of my close childhood friends ended up in prison, I came out of it all smelling like a rose, relatively speaking.
So I know all about liars, my father was one of the best. Thank goodness My Mother and Grandmother were as honest, true and loving as they could be, or I might have joined my childhood friends in prison.
When I went to university I used the "Upward Bound Program (UBP)" to find and practice on my weaknesses. I was so happy I passed the entrance exam, you should see my badge photo, I look almost delirious. Anyway my UBP counsellor asked me what I wanted to major in, and I responded, "I haven't really given it any thought." (Even though I'd thought about philosophy when brushing up on my weaknesses. I thought, 'now that would answer all my questions and confusion, if I couldn't trust philosophy, what could I trust?') Then she said, "well what do you want to do as a career." At which time I reeled in surprise and said, 'I don't want to go to college to make money, I'm here to learn about the truth of the world, the truth about humankind, I don't care about money!' To which she replied, 'well how about General Studies until you figure out what you want to do.' And I thought , "I just told you what I wanted to do, so General Studies it is."
So no I never had it as obviously good as you have. Do you know anything at all about psychology? <--Rhetorical!!
Lets check your maturity: So that's who you're talking to, or at least a small portion of me, want to leave now?
It's all water under the bridge, so fuck all those boys that see a weapon they can use against me, I suffer no man-boys! Or is that boy-men? Could be immature fucks! What do you think, commonsense, I've roughed you up a bit! How big is your brain, your reason? How much about human life can you see clearly? Or do you even care?
FYI: In the USN at least from 1974-1991 you would have been a Hospital Corpsman, I believe the designation was HM.