Sex as either/or

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The Voice of Time
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Sex as either/or

Post by The Voice of Time »

What should sex be all about:

1) Symbolism

or 2) Communication

Now it may contain both, but I won't accept cheap 50/50 answers... my question is: what matters in sex? Which ones would we prefer to achieve? Expressed symbolism (meaning/purpose) or communicated understanding (intention/result)?

If difficult to understand, then think of it like this: if you wished to express symbolism you would be inwardly focused while outwardly unconcrete, like you may descend upon your woman (if you're a man, if imagery is needed then think leaning over her while she's on bed) with the intent of making love, but in the process your intention isn't really a product of anything measurable, so intention is hard to prove, instead, the action becomes filled with meaning: I make love to you so I love you and you make love to me so you love me, and purpose arise as you consider it a sacred part of the unspoken relationship pact.

If you wished to communicate understanding, on the other hand, each one of your physical actions becomes part of a whole process to take your woman, say, to ecstatic experiences, and each one becomes measurable in the order of degree of which it achieves its result. While you may or may not use words, there will be a mutual understanding of what concrete actions will take place or what you are trying to achieve (so that either party may come up with steps to achieve it), so you display an intent about what concretely you want to have as a result. Imagine a couple "co-operating" by giving each other oral treatment and directing each other either by words or my other "signs" like making sounds, making facial expressions or showing with your own hand.
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Bill Wiltrack
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by Bill Wiltrack »

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I know it's just me but...








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The more you explained things...the less I was able to understand you.















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Image


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Symbolism?/ Communication? WTF?








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Bill Wiltrack
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by Bill Wiltrack »

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Image


.............................While you may or may not use words, there will be a mutual understanding of what concrete actions will take place or what you are trying to achieve











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Dunce
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by Dunce »

If you wanted it to be purely symbolic, couldn't you just go to sleep and dream about each other?
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The Voice of Time
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by The Voice of Time »

Dunce wrote:If you wanted it to be purely symbolic, couldn't you just go to sleep and dream about each other?
"purely" yes, but it could be "just symbolic" without having to remove the actual physical interactions, because "just symbolic" refers to interpretation whereas "purely" means "stripped of anything else".
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SpheresOfBalance
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by SpheresOfBalance »

I know you're not looking for this sort of answer but, I see that it's each to their own. I see that as long as any couple is playful, caring, always attempting to put a smile on the others face, as long as it always remains honest and real, it's all good. Of course if two want to dissect, and analyze their relationship, to what ever lengths, as long as it brings them joy, on this short ride, what the hey? Symbolism, Communication, or what ever, as long as the two mutually agree, that's what it should be
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The Voice of Time
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by The Voice of Time »

SpheresOfBalance wrote:I know you're not looking for this sort of answer but, I see that it's each to their own. I see that as long as any couple is playful, caring, always attempting to put a smile on the others face, as long as it always remains honest and real, it's all good. Of course if two want to dissect, and analyze their relationship, to what ever lengths, as long as it brings them joy, on this short ride, what the hey? Symbolism, Communication, or what ever, as long as the two mutually agree, that's what it should be
I disagree. It's foolish to think facts don't matter, and gathering facts or in this case figuring out what matters out of two options is important for progress. If people had so simple answers all the time there would be no room to understand what the heck it's all about (and no, BELIEF, which is what most people go by I reckon when they "make love", is not NOT knowledge), and not understanding what it's about is what opens for ignorance and exploit!
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SpheresOfBalance
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by SpheresOfBalance »

The Voice of Time wrote:
SpheresOfBalance wrote:I know you're not looking for this sort of answer but, I see that it's each to their own. I see that as long as any couple is playful, caring, always attempting to put a smile on the others face, as long as it always remains honest and real, it's all good. Of course if two want to dissect, and analyze their relationship, to what ever lengths, as long as it brings them joy, on this short ride, what the hey? Symbolism, Communication, or what ever, as long as the two mutually agree, that's what it should be
I disagree. It's foolish to think facts don't matter, and gathering facts or in this case figuring out what matters out of two options is important for progress. If people had so simple answers all the time there would be no room to understand what the heck it's all about (and no, BELIEF, which is what most people go by I reckon when they "make love", is not NOT knowledge), and not understanding what it's about is what opens for ignorance and exploit!
Yes that's what I said, you and yours and I and mine. The most important thing is that you find, your other half, in the eyes of one with a mutual perspective. We, as with others, see things differently, you @ 20 of these days, and I @ 55 of those days, but many other things come into play as well, including socioeconomics and education. There is no blanket recipe for a 'proper' sexual relationship! Some like it rough, I don't, but some do. There are a plethora of varying types.
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Bernard
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by Bernard »

Mostly all about babies
rantal
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by rantal »

The Voice of Time wrote:What should sex be all about:

1) Symbolism

or 2) Communication
Have you ever had sex? It is about neither of those, they are just pretentious nonsense. It is about

1. Reproduction
2. Bonding
3. Pleasure

all the best, rantal
reasonvemotion
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by reasonvemotion »

Have you ever had sex? It is about neither of those, they are just pretentious nonsense. It is about

1. Reproduction
2. Bonding
3. Pleasure

all the best, rantal

Today reasons range from pleasure to reproduction, to inquisitiveness, it varies a lot and there are many more reasons that people offer for choosing to engage in sex than in the times which cited only the above three Rantal has offered. Today, sexual behaviors have taken on many psychological, cultural and even religious meanings.

There is only one true reason people seek sex. We are programmed to do so.
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henry quirk
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"what matters in sex?"

Post by henry quirk »

'Mostly all about babies'

ALL about (makin') babies.

Personal perspective doesn't trump biology.

Joe is intimate with Jane...it's LOVE; Jack hires Samantha for an hour of on-the-mattress romping...it's LUST.

In either case, if no measures are taken, there's a damned good chance a baby gets made.

It's about BABIES.
artisticsolution
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by artisticsolution »

henry quirk wrote:'Mostly all about babies'

ALL about (makin') babies.

Personal perspective doesn't trump biology.

Joe is intimate with Jane...it's LOVE; Jack hires Samantha for an hour of on-the-mattress romping...it's LUST.

In either case, if no measures are taken, there's a damned good chance a baby gets made.

It's about BABIES.
Well, technically speaking...typically a woman can only get pregnant a few days out of the month so the chances of getting pregnant are not as high as not getting pregnant. Not to mention women are not fertile throughout their entire life span but still continue to have sex.
rantal
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Re: Sex as either/or

Post by rantal »

reasonvemotion wrote:
Have you ever had sex? It is about neither of those, they are just pretentious nonsense. It is about

1. Reproduction
2. Bonding
3. Pleasure

all the best, rantal

Today reasons range from pleasure to reproduction, to inquisitiveness, it varies a lot and there are many more reasons that people offer for choosing to engage in sex than in the times which cited only the above three Rantal has offered. Today, sexual behaviors have taken on many psychological, cultural and even religious meanings.

There is only one true reason people seek sex. We are programmed to do so.
As you say there are many reason why people may engage in sex, I was supplying not reasons but what sex is about.

all the best, rantal
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henry quirk
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Post by henry quirk »

Point taken, Art.

And still: finite or lagging capacity doesn't negate the purpose of that capacity, which is makin' babies... ;)
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