It is good to think such things. I admit to being blind in many respects. I sit in a privledge position in most personality typing systems, higher IQ, fastest problem solving in general, etc. But it comes with cognitive blind spots, entire areas of mind that sits on the edge of my consciousness, I don't really control, it just acts.... and I'll often will be stumped with it, or give in and try to coordinate with it.
I'm self diagnosed from a very early age into adult hood (well into the Army) with Ideo-Kenetic Aparaxia, as well as OCD. These are like, two absurdly opposite sources of chaos in the mind, effecting opposite sides of the mind.
When I was young, I was a klutz, but it wasn't until I was in the Army in basic with a drill Sargent screaming in my face I figured out something was wrong. I could clearly hear the scream, I could mime the words, but couldn't quite make out what was being said, and if I guessed, guessed wrong usually. They thought I was mentally tarded. It wasn't until they saw me run (being a loner in West Virginia builds massive calves) that they changed my mind, as well as my grasp on military history. Constantly told I fucked up, should of gone officer. In hind sight, I fucked up in not going AWOL, if I could to it over again, I wouldn't.
But I did, and I did in time get better in guessing what was being said, in observing those around me, and guessing. People thought I had hearing problems, but I could hear literally everything. I just couldn't connect commands to activities.
Took me a long time to make connections between how my mind processed information with military breakdown of command, when a unit isn't able to process what it is sensing, how to coordinate it, and respond. Gave me a very important insight to how units act as a coherent entity, and why fear and confusion so easily break formations, as well as anger, excitement, ambition. Allowed me to structure a system of what I would now identify as vices and virtues, and work out how it effects the technology and tactics that form a unit in any given era.
That's my OCD focus I harnessed. Doing that.... day and night, in bouts of non ceasing isomnia that wouldn't let me rest. Absolute torment at times, contained inside. Once I saw how other thinkers, like Napoleon dealt with these processing pains, spending days on a problem, with maps on the floor, stacks of papers with reports, working painstaking, I knew I wasn't alone. Others did this as well. Not a whole lot a lower enlisted man could do, so Imjust continued my study of military history, reading strategy works, studying myself and others. I integrated much better till I got injured, then went through the trashchute of sorts, repeatedly getting reinjured. Allowed me to study other aspects of administrative organization. It didn't end happily for me, was stretched out for years, but I did a lot of good things, and don't have a obvious regret in my actions, that I could of known about in advance. Had I known human nature better sooner, could of saved myself and others who got hurt by the system a lot of pain.
I'm largely focused on the study of statecraft and ethics, still a strong background in world events, as well as military history and history in general. It took me a long time to learn how to link various aspects of my mind together. I've always been self taught, thanks to the supreme neglect of my rotten mother. I learn, I grow, I seek better knowledge of myself and others. I try not to be spiteful, recognizing it is often a rot in society turning men violent and cruel to one another.
It was a long road. Some aspects of mind I know exist, I see it in others, still wait for me. I'm not willing to embrace them, in fear I'll lose who I am. It isn't bad at all.
Many systems exist for expansion/linking of cognitive systems. The oldest is the system of the muses, started out as 3, then 9. This became the basis for the Hermes Trismegistus cult during it's Alexandrian period (the cult it brutally ancient and widespread, and still around in southern India). Also the eventual basis for the Jewish Zohar, the Serifot in particular. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zohar
Patanjali is likely parallel with the origin of the muses, but much more advanced:
Alot of modern theories are built out of these. I can often translate modern syndromes shorthand in these networks.
It is fine to go, explore, learn systems. I certainly did, but I also strongly recommend you stick to your own cultural core, and add to it. No need to rush off to some Tendai monastery, only to discover your own culture had similar thinkers who nailed areas of thought you felt was only existent in a foreign land. I used to be a Cynic philosopher before becoming a Stoic, and always held to the Citizen of the world idea. I should be able to grasp any era, any societies form of thinking, but given my body and character if of this, I should learn the ideas and methods of my own the most. So, I never had a chemistry class in my life, I studied every alternate periodic table out there. We have a lot by the way, sure you are aware. I started applying myself to a study of the history of physics, since I've never been exposed to them in school, beyond a 4th grade science class. I'm always interested in finding a little known work. I rarely have anyone to talk to about them. Silence, maybe the wind is the only thing I can share my knowledge with. A lot of time, I just watch things, how systems work, how people act and react. I also poke around in biographies, trying to figure how my thoughts pop up in others, how fragmented I am in thinking processes to them, how much farther I can think, and vice versa. I find myself struggling with secondary sources, seeing their thought processes intrude, and it makes me question the art of writing history, the underlining philosophy. I also look a lot into history books in general, if I can find one form a little known era and place in translation, I get excited and delve inside. My thoughts linger over places no longer remembered, seeing in people today parallel activities. World managed to carry on somehow. I find that fascinating. Truely fascinating. I always feel the trials of tomorrow will end me, I will die, but the world will carry on. In these silent moments, I think of a silent God as well, looking with fuller knowledge, marveling. I don't always know how things will play out, but I study systems, and so study him as well. Sometimes he is the only one I can talk to.
I try to figure out practical applications of philosophy. Most philosophy, especially pedagogy, has a inherent altruistic bend to it. Yes, many get paid for it, some abuse it, but it is still individuals teaching individuals. Even the vile Nketzschean, seeking to destroy themselves and enslave others, read a Nietzsche preaching selfishness and power, for ultimately altruistic reasons. He thinks he is working for the best, for a world beyond himself. So I keep that in mind, in the middle of a long history I can observe behind me, a wide present, and a future ever longer, stretching off into the distance, trying to figure out how to make it effective, real, useful, a active force on the world, while still letting men be free and good. It isn't always obvious, and the results isn't always spectacular.
Someone like me is already introverted and introspective enough, going through the whole alchemical journey would be a joke. I'm not inherently opposed to it. Just, given my cognitive makeup, I must look elsewhere. I set out for different shores, as others arrive here. This is how it should be in a healthy society, with many kinds of thinkers, who have different strengths and weaknesses of mind and lifestyle. I don't want to build it into a holistic beautiful meaning.... life can be utterly cruel, we can destroy so many long establish, good and wonderful things in a instant. Society is often swing between extremes, and every household has felt the pain and joys of these impacts. Some people fail, some societies fail. But the future is something that must always be kept ahead. I'm opposed to that which threatens that certainty. I can accept my mortality, but not the end of time. So practical philosophy flows out of these concerns, and my actions often look simple and unheroic, sluggish.... or extreme and maniac, forceful and violent. It is a balance of my nature against perceived necessity, more than the necessity of just the self. I respect myself, but need more than just that. I can't find self validity in a invalid world, something should always be going foreward, progress can never fully stall, we should always have a restless spirit stirring somewhere, pondering, ready to unleash upon the world for better and for worst, but hopefully the better for most.