Oh, Bother.

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Immanuel Can
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Immanuel Can »

Harbal wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 5:43 pm I'm just not a social person, and the type of people I enjoy spending time with are not very thick on the ground. I don't know how complicated the phsychology behind that may be, but that is the situation put simply.
An introvert, then.

Well, I, too, am inclined to that. I have many fewer friends than, say, my wife has, who is much more naturally extroverted and sociable. However, I note that while her friendships get spread out broadly, mine appear (at least to me, and I think, and with reason) to be much deeper, involving much more loyalty and a deeper level of connection, than those she routinely has. For instance, all my friendships are of the "pick-up-where-yoy-left-off" kind, and all of them go from trivialities and "how've you been" kind of conversation to much deeper, more honest stuff in very short order, relative to hers. Hers seem to require a lot more surface conversation to get going, and she seems much less assured of the goodwill of all her friends than I am, even though her friends are very nice. And honestly, I feel I would not trade all of her friendships for even one of mine.

Could it be that the shortage is in those sorts of connections, so that casting about among your acquaintances fails to reveal the kind of friendship you require at this particualr moment or stage of life...through no fault of your own, perhaps?

Again, I'm just throwing guesses for you to entertain, not making a judgment.
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Harbal
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Harbal »

Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 5:54 pm
Could it be that the shortage is in those sorts of connections, so that casting about among your acquaintances fails to reveal the kind of friendship you require at this particualr moment or stage of life...through no fault of your own, perhaps?

Again, I'm just throwing guesses for you to entertain, not making a judgment.
There have only been a handful of people with whom I have had a significant friendship, and I am no longer in touch with any of them. Now, especially since I retired, I just don't do anything, or go anywhere where I am likely to make new acquaintances. Still, I would much rather be alone than spend time with people who's company I don't enjoy, which is most people's. :)
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Immanuel Can
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Immanuel Can »

Harbal wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 6:06 pm
Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 5:54 pm
Could it be that the shortage is in those sorts of connections, so that casting about among your acquaintances fails to reveal the kind of friendship you require at this particualr moment or stage of life...through no fault of your own, perhaps?

Again, I'm just throwing guesses for you to entertain, not making a judgment.
There have only been a handful of people with whom I have had a significant friendship, and I am no longer in touch with any of them. Now, especially since I retired, I just don't do anything, or go anywhere where I am likely to make new acquaintances. Still, I would much rather be alone than spend time with people who's company I don't enjoy, which is most people's. :)
I understand completely.

Even if one does not dislike people generally, one cannot forever exercise the level of effort required to get to great depth with them. And superficial friendships are really not very satisfying, particularly for an introvert, and particularly once one reaches retirement age. It seems to me that at that time, one wants substance or nothing.

So your feelings about that may be much more normal and reasonable than you might at first surmise. Certainly if all your significant friendships, as you put it, are now out of touch, that leaves a huge hole.

Some things cannot be replaced, alas. That also is one of the discoveries of getting older.
Iwannaplato
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Iwannaplato »

Harbal wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 6:06 pm
Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 5:54 pm
Could it be that the shortage is in those sorts of connections, so that casting about among your acquaintances fails to reveal the kind of friendship you require at this particualr moment or stage of life...through no fault of your own, perhaps?

Again, I'm just throwing guesses for you to entertain, not making a judgment.
There have only been a handful of people with whom I have had a significant friendship, and I am no longer in touch with any of them. Now, especially since I retired, I just don't do anything, or go anywhere where I am likely to make new acquaintances. Still, I would much rather be alone than spend time with people who's company I don't enjoy, which is most people's. :)
I could say the same thing. I also tend not to like larger numbers. If we are just spending time together then 1 or two people and I want them to get along well with each other as well as me.

I would simply prefer to not think about what reactions or thoughts it might just be easier to edit out. With one person, there are certain topics or facets of myself I may not want to bother getting into it with. Each additional person adds more not worth it to go zones.

If there is an activity I can thrive with more, but these need to be fairly focused.

Generally with my wife or alone is best.
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Dontaskme
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Re: Oh, Bother.

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Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 6:12 pm ..........................
Last edited by Dontaskme on Mon Sep 12, 2022 8:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Immanuel Can
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Immanuel Can »

Dontaskme wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 7:42 am
Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 6:12 pm
Even if one does not dislike people generally, one cannot forever exercise the level of effort required to get to great depth with them.
How would you know, has that been your personal experience. ?
Of course.
The exercise required to get to great depths with people takes zero to little effort actually,
Really? Well, I can only surmise that you live a very different experience. For most of us, I think that getting to really know people takes time and personal investment. If you've found ways to achieve it without that, then good for you, I suppose...
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Harbal
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Harbal »

Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 6:12 pm And superficial friendships are really not very satisfying, particularly for an introvert, and particularly once one reaches retirement age. It seems to me that at that time, one wants substance or nothing.
I find that most people are not very honest about themselves, and as soon as I get a sense that someone isn't being authentic it makes being with them seem pointless. It's pretty trivial really, but it makes a difference. Men seem to be worse than women in this respect, but I have spent much more time with men than I have with women, so that might account for that perception. So many people try to give the impression that they care about one thing more than they really do, or care less about another, just to project the image of themself that they would prefer to be seen, rather than an unfiltered one, which makes any interaction with them meaningless. I know that some people prefer any company to no company, but I'm quite the opposite.
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Immanuel Can
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Immanuel Can »

Harbal wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 2:32 pm
Immanuel Can wrote: Sat Sep 10, 2022 6:12 pm And superficial friendships are really not very satisfying, particularly for an introvert, and particularly once one reaches retirement age. It seems to me that at that time, one wants substance or nothing.
I find that most people are not very honest about themselves, and as soon as I get a sense that someone isn't being authentic it makes being with them seem pointless. It's pretty trivial really, but it makes a difference. Men seem to be worse than women in this respect, but I have spent much more time with men than I have with women, so that might account for that perception. So many people try to give the impression that they care about one thing more than they really do, or care less about another, just to project the image of themself that they would prefer to be seen, rather than an unfiltered one, which makes any interaction with them meaningless. I know that some people prefer any company to no company, but I'm quite the opposite.
Yes, I can only agree.
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Harbal
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Harbal »

Immanuel Can wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 9:51 pm
Yes, I can only agree.
It's about time we agreed about something, IC, we should do it more often. :)
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Immanuel Can
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Immanuel Can »

Harbal wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 9:55 pm
Immanuel Can wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 9:51 pm Yes, I can only agree.
It's about time we agreed about something, IC, we should do it more often. :)
:lol: Yes, indeed.

Well, life is life, eh? Whatever one's political or personal views, we all end up dealing with the same realities...aging, reflection, and the conclusion of the world we knew. That's retirement. Whatever else, that's the common experience.
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Re: Oh, Bother.

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Immanuel Can wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 10:30 pm
Harbal wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 9:55 pm
Immanuel Can wrote: Sun Sep 11, 2022 9:51 pm Yes, I can only agree.
It's about time we agreed about something, IC, we should do it more often. :)
:lol: Yes, indeed.

Well, life is life, eh? Whatever one's political or personal views, we all end up dealing with the same realities...aging, reflection, and the conclusion of the world we knew. That's retirement. Whatever else, that's the common experience.
Ah...lovely...yes but, and from your comments in the Christianity thread I just read this morning, you will be hoping to be stood beside God, probably rubbing your hands together with a big grin as Harbal, and everyone else on the forum that are not in agreement with your notion of God...BURN IN HELL!!!

Are you sure you've kissed God's arse enough yet to be safe from such LOVE?
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Immanuel Can
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Immanuel Can »

attofishpi wrote: Mon Sep 12, 2022 1:10 am ...you will be hoping to be stood beside God, probably rubbing your hands together with a big grin...
You don't know God.

"Say to them, ‘As I live!’ declares the Lord God, ‘I take no pleasure at all in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live.'" (Eze. 33:11)

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be discovered." (II Peter 3:9-10)

Nobody who knows God would think such a thing as you think.
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Dontaskme
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by Dontaskme »

Immanuel Can wrote: Mon Sep 12, 2022 4:41 am............

TMI
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vegetariantaxidermy
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Re: Oh, Bother.

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:shock:
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attofishpi
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Re: Oh, Bother.

Post by attofishpi »

Immanuel Can wrote: Mon Sep 12, 2022 4:41 am
attofishpi wrote: Mon Sep 12, 2022 1:10 am ...you will be hoping to be stood beside God, probably rubbing your hands together with a big grin...
You don't know God.

"Say to them, ‘As I live!’ declares the Lord God, ‘I take no pleasure at all in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live.'" (Eze. 33:11)

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be discovered." (II Peter 3:9-10)

Nobody who knows God would think such a thing as you think.
Well, I apologise, people that don't quote WHO is actually speaking get me caught out, turns out this new idiot pattern-chaser said it:
Pattern-chaser wrote:"When I speak I do not speak as Immanuel Can, I simply mouth what is stated in Biblical texts as being 'absolutely true'. You do not believe me? Well, that means that you do not believe God. And there will be a punishment for you because you did not believe God. In just a few short years you will be in Hell."
Do you agree with that statement?

btw. I know God so well, "HE" was telling me he was getting annoyed with some of the language I was going to throw your way when considering the statement today, while walking my dog. This "pattern-chaser" statement above disgusts God, confirmed to me earlier.

There is more to that too..

I had my Judgement Day just two months ago, July btw. Oh what a lovely final test that was. (I tested perfect, and God is proud)
I hope no other person ever has to go through that, and I will not state what happened, only to an idiot like patter-chaser at this stage, I'd love someone of so little actual faith in God's love, to have it on his conscience - he'd be shitting his pants I will insist to the God and the sages, that he be put through it as I am so disgusted by the statement.

A weak a fought-night?...so hard to sleep for the SoM. THEN THE JUDGEMENT.
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