promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
"But they NEVER gave 'you' 'their number', right?"
of course not dude it wuzzint like that. They prolly woulda if fatty didn't ruin everything tho.
'you' just can NOT STOP BLAMING the "other" for YOUR OWN, OBVIOUSLY, Wrong DOING, correct?
And, while in the process of BLAMING the "other" 'you' STILL 'try to' RIDICULE and HUMILIATE 'them'.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
in fact, immediately after i wuz 'done' i wuz seized by astonishment that i had just done that and felt guilty for it.
WHY?
'you' TOLD 'us' that 'they' were 'hotties' AND 'willing and consenting', right?
If yes, then WHAT were 'you' feeling GUILTY about, EXACTLY?
If 'you' are Truly Honest and OPEN here, like ALWAYS, then the LEARNING, and BECOMING WISER, CAN CONTINUE.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
what happened wuz a sudden transformation occured in which eros took flight and my more inhibited super-ego appeared, drawing up in me the paternal sense i should normally have toward/about 14 year olds.
Okay. But, AGAIN, sounds like 'you' are STILL BLAMING some 'thing' ELSE here for what, ESSENTIALLY, 'you' did, and for what 'could have' HAD FULL CONTROL OVER.
Or, do 'you' STILL BELIEVE that 'you' do NOT have FULL CONTROL OVER how 'that body' behaves and misbehaves?
I will let 'you' in on a little secret here now "promethean75" allowing the 'thought',
'absolute free will does NOT exist', ALLOWS 'you', and 'that body', to do 'things' that WITHIN are KNOWN to be Wrong, in Life.
See, if there are ANY 'voices or views', essentially 'thoughts', TELLING 'you' that 'you' are NOT in FULL CONTROL of 'that body', then 'you' can ALLOW the 'emotions' and/or 'urges' of 'that body' to TAKE OVER, and JUST DO whatever 'that body' likes. Like, for example, masturbate in front of CHILDREN.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
my identity, my learned role, as an adult prohibits me from doing what I just did, and i feel ashamed, etc. that kind of thing. What I did wuz utterly abnormal and I wuz plunged into a kinky philosophical abyss in which I wuz faced with having to aks the hardest questions.
GREAT AWARENESS and INSIGHT.
Which, by the way, absolutely EVERY adult human being HAS GONE THROUGH the EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE of DOING what 'their' 'learned role', AND INTERNAL KNOWING KNEW WAS Wrong, and thus then felt ASHAMED, AS WELL.
So, 'you' are CERTAINLY NOT ALONE here. THE EXACT SAME 'knowing' and 'feeling' OCCURS WITHIN ALL adult human beings, but just from DIFFERENT WAYS of 'misbehaving'.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
anyway at that time i had a girlfriend who wuz a young bonafide beach-born hotty, and despite the disintegrating relationship largely due to my mismanagement of it, the sex wuz outstanding. Homegirl wuz so hot I couldn't even take her out in a bikini (her, not me) cuz I couldn't handle all the eyes on her.
WHY do 'you' think 'you' are such a JEALOUS type "promethean75"?
And, before 'you' said the 'homegirl' word was in referencing to the two children that 'you' masturbated in front of?
How MANY 'homegirls' are there, or HOW MANY do 'you' IMAGINE are 'yours'?
Also, was 'your' girlfriend here REALLY born on a 'beach'?
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
She'd put that thang on em if I let her out like that, Age, I ain't playin... and I ain't tryna hurt another man by puttin em through that.
There is a FAIR AMOUNT to DELVE INTO and GO THROUGH here "promethean75".
What does the 'thang' word here refer to, EXACTLY? The bikini?
If yes, then WHY did that 'female' NEED 'your permission' to go outdoors dressed in ANY particular way?
And, what does the 'em' word here refer to, EXACTLY? Human beings, adults, or children, or 'males', or 'females', or some 'thing' else?
When 'you' say that 'you' 'are not playing', what game are 'you' talking about or referring to here?
Also, WHY would 'you' think ANY 'adult male' would be so-called 'hurt' by a 'female' just wearing cloth over 'that body' or what is sometimes called a 'bikini'?
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
Lol @ the hipocrisy. I'm the first to both encourage and enjoy a young woman displaying her healthy sexuality, and the last two let my own homegirl do it.
If this is the first time of REALLY NOTICING the ACTUAL 'HYPOCRISY' here, then I hope that through Truly OPEN and Honest discussions, WITHOUT ANY JUDGMENT, that 'you are FINDING this NEW AWARENESS, NOTICING, and/or AWAKENING, REFRESHING.
Also, and by the way, I have observed that if 'you' CHANGED the use of the words, 'MY OWN 'homegirl', to, INSTEAD, some 'thing' like, ' she is 'her' OWN 'girl' ', who I Truly do LOVE, ADMIRE, and/or CHERISH, then the feeling and/or thinking/believing that "she IS MINE" VERY QUICKLY DIMINISHES, tremendously.
See, it is the ACTUAL WORDS, which are BEING SAID, and USED, WITHIN individual 'human bodies' that is 'what' IS ACTUALLY having FAR MORE POWER and CONTROL OVER 'human beings', than was EVER REALLY REALIZED, back in the days when this was being written.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
again maybe another irony here tho; one would think i would be sexually satisfied and therefore not commit sexually deviant behaviors.
Besides just a few 'positions', during 'sexual activity', in order to create a NEW, or "other", human being, then EVERY 'thing' else 'sexually' could be classed as a 'sexually deviant behavior'. And, I would say that just about EVERY adult human being has performed or dreamed/fantasized about one form of 'sexual behavior' that "another" human being could class as a 'sexually deviant behavior".
Imaginations, dreams, fantasies, AND 'thoughts' can and do have MORE POWER and CONTROL OVER 'one' than what thee True, Right, and Correct 'KNOWLEDGE' can have.
But it is through LEARNING HOW and WHY 'this is so', can 'ones' then LEARN HOW TO TAKE BACK and HAVE CONTROL, ALWAYS, ONCE AGAIN.
Committing some 'sexually deviant behaviors' on a 'child' can be NO MORE DAMAGING and HARMING of that 'child' than ALL of the OTHER ABUSE that IS COMMITTED UPON them, by ALL of the other so-called 'adult human beings'.
CHILD ABUSE is Wrong. FULL STOP. NO matter what kind of ABUSE 'it' IS.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
i wuz satisfied, absolutely, but what happened wuz... instead of quenching the sex drive, it set it on fire.
Do 'you' REALLY NOT SEE the CONTRADICTION here?
Could one REALLY be 'satisfied' if they WANT MORE of the said 'thing'?
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
i wuz at one point, well a few points, thinking about and wanting to find another girl or girls to join me and homegirl in a kinky threesome thing like in Point Break or what's that movie where the two guys and one girl were hippie pot growers in a threesome thing, etc.
'you' say this like it is some uncommon FANTASY and/or as though it is some kind of EXCUSE.
AGAIN, WHY TELL 'me' what 'you' would like to have happened?
By the way, depending on how 'one' is 'feeling, or on what 'mood' 'one' is 'in', when they are watching 'a movie', and depending on what 'that movie' is about, exactly, then this can have an everlasting effect on that 'person'.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
never happened tho cuz i had no game,
I STILL do NOT KNOW what the 'game' means nor refers to, to 'you'. But, 'you' may have ALREADY EXPLAINED 'it' in another post.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
wuz working off and on for wages like $15 an hour, and living at an expensive beach in a shithole modified motel room.
Are 'you' here SAYING, or SUGGESTING, that the reason that 'you' did NOT have a sex with two other human beings at one time WAS BECAUSE of these 'things' here?
If yes, then I do NOT see ANY CONNECTION. But, maybe 'you' will CHANGE this.
promethean75 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 09, 2022 7:15 pm
my whole fantasy collapsed, Age. my harem... never to be.
Have 'you' PASSED AWAY, and thus LONG GONE? Or, are 'you' STILL HERE, living AMONG and WITH 'us', in 'that breathing and heart pumping body'?
If the latter, then HOW and WHY would your WHOLE FANTASY have COLLAPSED here.
If 'your' WHOLE fantasy here includes consenting adults, then WHY could 'it' STILL NOT HAPPEN?
Sounds, AGAIN, like 'you' are just LOOKING FOR, and USING, EXCUSES for 'what' COULD HAVE BEEN.
Do 'you' think that there has been an adult human being who has NOT WISHED that they HAD DONE 'things' DIFFERENTLY, in the past?