Funny things in your life involving you or friends

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promethean75
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

If my calculations are correct - and they are not, because I did none, and one has to do calculations before they can be said to be correct or incorrect - the useless, bourgeois parasites (they call em 'presidents') of Russia, the Ukraine and the U.S., have used up more gasoline (a non-renewable resource) moving military vehicles and equipment around than a working class sample group the size of the population of Kansas City, would use to commute to work and back for two months, one week and three days.
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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

promethean75 wrote: Thu Feb 03, 2022 12:15 pm If my calculations are correct - and they are not, because I did none, and one has to do calculations before they can be said to be correct or incorrect - the useless, bourgeois parasites (they call em 'presidents') of Russia, the Ukraine and the U.S., have used up more gasoline (a non-renewable resource) moving military vehicles and equipment around than a working class sample group the size of the population of Kansas City, would use to commute to work and back for two months, one week and three days.
Ah, see now you are starting to piss me off. Unless you can come up with how that relates in a humorous manner to the thread title, please refrain for pissing me off further.

Not sure how you are going to achieve it, but I hope U succeed, like toothless budgie.
promethean75
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

1. This little fiasco is funny.

2. It concerns me, because sleepy Joe is my president an I am a patriot of this great nation who is paying four dollars a gallon for gasoline.
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

promethean75 wrote: Thu Feb 03, 2022 12:39 pm 1. This little fiasco is funny.

2. It concerns me, because sleepy Joe is my president an I am a patriot of this great nation who is paying four dollars a gallon for gasoline.
Doesn't relate to the thread title - pretty certain you are not a friend of Biden, and am totally certain nothing you stated is funny.
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

https://www.androcies.com/alphatwo.php

Alright atto I'm gonna be your editor and make some minor changes to your novel. Specifically writing style... no storyline or plot changes. We need to tighten some things up, be more concise in some places, and make some minor adjustments in various areas to create more descriptive depth for the reader.

My edits are in bold:

✓ Helix Carone takes a calming breath, long and deep,

Helix Carone calms himself with a deep breath

and steps from the safety of his apartment lobby.

✓ The riveted and reinforced steel doors automatically bolt lock behind him.

The bolts lock behind him with an metallic clank as the reinforced steel doors close behind him.

Although the sky is overcast with heavy cloud, his eyes strain against the sudden change from artificial light. For the past forty-eight hours he has been pinned to his computer console staring at software code.

Suddenly he is grabbed from behind and thrown back against the door. “The darkness slithers within us all!” says the man grasping Helix’s chest and holding him against the steel. His eyes are sunken and distant, his skin wrinkled well beyond his years.

✓ Helix knocks the hands away and in the same movement throws the man to the ground.

In a single reflex Helix breaks free of the hands, spinning on the intruder and throwing him to the ground.

✓ Helix stands over the man and

As he stands over the man he

notices psychstim nodes pasted to the man’s forehead.

✓ “Time to see the light my friend,” Helix says as

"Time to see the light, my friend", he says as

he rips the psychstim from the man’s skin and throws it onto the cement. “Or at least—get back a little rational thought.”

✓ He crunches the psychstim underfoot leaving the man to gaze at his loss.

Helix crunches the psychstim under the heel of his boot and walks off, leaving the man to stare at his lose as he lie there on the oil stained street.

✓ Helix’s heart is racing as he touches the cold shaft of his gun for some reassurance and glances into the distance.

(editor's note: Helix has the composure of a kung-fu master. It'll take a little more than being assaulted by one guy to get his heart racing)

Helix surveys the alleyway with an incriminating eye... his right hand instinctively moving to his hip to check for the nine millimeter with the extended clip. It was given to him by a very close friend. A friend that was no longer with him.

✓ Before him the streets lay in wait; dark bodies hustling for transactions.

Before him the dark, bustling bodies filled the streets. With no legitimate jobs, the black market ruled here, and the citizens were constantly hustling and trading for anything they could get. Food, clothing, drugs, cheap cybernetic upgrades and weapons of any sort.

Helix starts along the littered sidewalk with a steady pace, hoping not to attract the attention of the peddlers... and laments to himself, another day in the Fire Zone, redundant time.
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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

Though I appreciate your insight as to how you'd prefer the opening passage of my novel to be written. I have no ill will towards you, but understand now is not the time to press me upon it, and certainly not within this thread.
I have had a professional editor at the outset go over it, and also a friend that is a journalist. Tis a bit late to fit any change that you feel preferable.

And I insist on reiterating the thread title: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

So logically, and since we are not friends - I guess you find what I wrote funny in some way, that compelled you to write up the above. It is 2am here, I have had a difficult time over the past 48 hrs from the loss of someone I cared about deeply. If you are sincere about helping me to improve my writing technique then do contact me, privately.

To be honest - at a glance, I'd stick to what I have written.
promethean75
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

Oh that. Well basically I've hijacked this thread to do my bidding because there is no 'general talk' thread and I ain't bout ta start one just to talk generally.

I somehow have developed an aversion to starting threads over the years. I always feel like anything anybody says is never interesting or important enough to have its own thread.

Really tho, just relax. Maybe ten people read this thread, and none of them care what's posted in it.
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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

Well. U made quite the effort in this thread and another.

Do you discord?
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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

In other words - how does talking about life with a complete stranger sound - via audio?
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by commonsense »

promethean75 wrote: Thu Feb 03, 2022 5:29 pm Oh that. Well basically I've hijacked this thread to do my bidding because there is no 'general talk' thread and I ain't bout ta start one just to talk generally.

I somehow have developed an aversion to starting threads over the years. I always feel like anything anybody says is never interesting or important enough to have its own thread.

Really tho, just relax. Maybe ten people read this thread, and none of them care what's posted in it.
I liked this thread when it was about funny stories. I check in once in a while to see whether the thread had resumed its original flavor.

Your conversation belongs in the Lounge as a thread of its own, or in Private Messages if you please.
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

"Your conversation belongs in the Lounge as a thread of its own"

I think the majority of people would find that quite reasonable.

Hey they don't call you 'commonsense' for nuthin, pal.

"how does talking about life with a complete stranger sound - via audio?"

Absolutely horrible. I would only ruin your life.
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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

promethean75 wrote: Thu Feb 03, 2022 7:40 pm "Your conversation belongs in the Lounge as a thread of its own"

I think the majority of people would find that quite reasonable.

Hey they don't call you 'commonsense' for nuthin, pal.

"how does talking about life with a complete stranger sound - via audio?"

Absolutely horrible. I would only ruin your life.
How could talking to me via audio ruin 'commonsense' 's life?
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attofishpi
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by attofishpi »

TODAY:-
So after an arduous 48hrs dealing with Dad and coroner stuff, I finally am heading home. Had a few pints with old friends and then I get on the bus from the city, put a heavy bag on the floor, about to tap my metro-card on the device -when an appx 18 yr old girl is getting on behind me, sort of waiting for me to sort my shit out.
This old hag starts screaming abuse at her and telling he to get off of the bus using all sorts of nasty expletives. This youngster was not much to look at, but didn't deserve this, and I had once copped some abuse of this crazy old lady before, just ignore.
The girl was stopped where the front doors were open wondering whether to proceed to get on, in fact the bus driver told her when the next bus would be along, as the verbal abuse directed at her continued.
I got the beep from the machine (metro-card)... and I said to the girl - get on, ignore her..you'll be fine - hoping she would infer, ya, I'm quite happy to smack an old lady down if required.
So I walked along the aisle past the crazy woman and told her to shut up, as I got further she told me she would slit my throat - can't remember if I responded, if I did it was only in earshot of the rest of the travellers.
The girl followed me and sat in the seat in front and started to talk. I said to her, just imagine, that woman probably had kids, imagine their state, and their kids would be as fucked up and so the cycle of stooopidity continueth.
Anyway, from that point on, I barely said a word, and she was the epitome of Vicky Pollard picture below - turns out we had the same bus stop when I told her I lived near a particular pub. Whilst on the bus and she kept gibbering on, I considered she might be a descedent of the crazy old hag.
She got off at my usual bus stop, I told her I live further up a bit (and got off at the next stop)

Little Britain - Vicky Pollard
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Little Britain - Vicky Pollard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGcRo2ZvKNc
promethean75
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Re: Funny things in your life involving you or friends

Post by promethean75 »

How very curious. The... Bat man... is back again? Ah. Very well.

I'll be waiting for you, Bruce...
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