jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pm
My greetings great minds!
I need help from you.
My question is simple, but the answer is not.
How to accept myself as I am?
Know thy Self first.
Then you will, naturally, be accepting of this Self.
I know that is a lot easier said then done, especially when there is no role model to follow. No one else, has of yet, been able to clearly write down and explain HOW TO find, and KNOW they Self.
And, if no one else has been able to show how to do this yet, then you are certainly NOT expected to know how to do it either.
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmHow to stop dislike stuff about me?
First clarify, openly and honestly, what is the "stuff", supposedly about 'you', that is disliked.
I think you will find that the "stuff" that you do not like about 'you' is NOT actually who or what 'you' are.
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmI've read a ton of articles and books, they don't help. They don't get the point. In society I am ashamed of myself,
If "society", which admittedly is just a group of human beings who also do NOT have a clue who they are, have laid a foundation down where people living in that society feel ashamed, then that is the cause and result of that "society", which is honestly made up just a group of people who they, themselves, do NOT know who they really are, then feeling "ashamed" is an actual condition of the "society" and NOT of you at all.
I could say and tell you that there really is NOTHING to be ashamed about, but I also KNOW that that does not really work. As just saying that does NOT stop you from having those shameful feelings within.
Do you remember as a child, and as a very young child, being referred to as being "a shy kid" or similar? If so, then that is where the being ashamed of one self originates from and/or that is how that disliked feeling is instilled in you.
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmI worry about what I say and how I say, how I would be treated.
Is there a human being at least once in their lives who has not worried about any of this?
Through the education system ALL children are ridiculed and thus made to feel ashamed for not knowing some things.
Through the society system ALL children are made to feel ashamed for, so called, "doing wrong".
ALL children want to PLEASE their parents and so worry about to to say and how to say it, and how they will be treated. Feeling ashamed of saying some thing "wrong" and/or of "doing wrong" is installed into and programmed into children, which resides, deep down, for a lifetime.
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmIt brings me a lot of discomforts
Of course it would. Feeling shy, or ashamed of one's self, by definition, is an uncomfortable feeling. The very nature of feeling ashamed is to feel discomfort. Children are MADE TO feel ashamed AND discomfort. This is adults way of teaching children so called "right" from "wrong". Although what adults are doing here is VERY WRONG, they will NOT admit it because they do NOT know any better, and, because of the very nature of feeling ashamed of "doing WRONG".
If adults even thought that they could be doing wrong, then they will quickly dismiss this truth, for some thing else, because they do NOT want to have that ashamed feeling, which naturally brings with it discomfort. Naturally adults do not want to feel discomfort so they will do what makes them feel comfortable. Ignoring the Truth is an easy what of replacing discomfort with comfort.
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmand I want to get rid of this feeling.
Who would not want to get rid of feeling ashamed.
Is there a negative, bad, and/or uncomfortable feeling that one would not want to get rid of, and replace it with a positive, good, and/or comfortable feeling?
ALL 'feelings' or more correctly ALL 'internal feelings/emotions' are normal.
The way one feels, at any given moment, is a direct result of ALL past experiences, up to this moment.
So, just remember that ALL 'emotions', including feeling ashamed are perfectly NORMAL, and whatever feeling one is experiencing in any given moment is PERFECTLY NORMAL, under those circumstance.
Emotions are just a signal of what is going on around you. To change one feeling, an uncomfortable one to a comfortable one;
1. Just recognize when they appear, which you obviously can do.
2. If you already understand WHY you are feeling ashamed this way, which is either or partly because;
a) You have been programmed, from and through past experiences, to feel like this, in certain situations.
b) You are judging your own self. Or,
c) Others are judging you, or you are just imagining others would be and/or are judging you, in a particular way.
3. Then, if you can accept that that emotion is just a feeling, which is perfectly normal to be experiencing, at this given moment, within these circumstances, then your thinking will have changed by now, and so then will your feelings naturally have changed also.
Feeling ashamed is uncomfortable, but it also just a feeling, which can be very fleeting.
It is said that there is about 450 or so internal feelings/emotions and to have them and to experience them is ALL is part of what makes 'you', a human being. Without any of ALL of those emotions then you would NOT experience ALL of what it is like being, a human being.
Noticing and recognizing ALL of the 450 or so emotions, including the unwanted ones, informs you of what is going on around you. Just changing the way you think, then changes the way you feel, experience emotions, and then those fleeting emotions can change more quickly.
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmI know that the answer is TO ACCEPT MYSELF, but it's not that simple
,
It is not that simple because, honestly, how could you accept yourself if you are not even aware of who thy Self is?
Human beings have been trying for millenia to answer the question Who am 'I'?
How could they accept themselves, when they do NOT even know who thy Self or the 'I' is yet?
jarviguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:46 pmHope to hear some valuable practical advice. I'm pretty tired of such a life.
Thank you
I am not sure if that help, if at all, but there is far more that could be explained and/or clarified here, if you like.