What was the most embarrassing moment in your life

[attofishpi]

Just thought i'd kick this thread off..posting on my TV. I have to go out now but will post mine lata.
ish

[attofishpi]

I met some blokes when I immigrated within what seemed like a time capsule taking me back ten years, I was fifteen, to the land of Oz.
These chaps became my best mates at the outset. So we were heading into the city for a day out on a Saturday, and since I jumped on the bus at Port Noarlunga, these new friends would jump on at their various points along the route to the big smoke.
Eventually, one of my new mates sat next to me and we tickled along with wot eva young lads tickle along about. I spotted this woman three seats in front of us with a kit to pile makeup across her face (compact?) ..anyway, I nudged him and said, 'look at that old piece of mutton, talk about attempting to turn mutton into lamb.'
He laughed, and joined in a tad.
NE ways
When we all got off the bus, he turned to the woman and said 'see you Mum'.

[-1-]

It gave me a complex for decades to come.

In grade five or six my mom enrolled me in dancing school at school after school. It was not a subject, but an extracullicular activity. Mom thought it is a social skill, it can only help me if I learned. Much like she sent me to swimming school.

At the end of the 8-week long course there was a gala night. Teachers, parents, friends sat around the perimeter of the gym, and watched us do our new-learnt skill. One dance after another.

Ladies' choice came up. Boys lined up one side of the room, girls, the other side. The stampede started on a cue, and every boy was asked, except one. There was just one more boy in number than girls.

Guess who the boy was.

As the rest started to dance, I thought everybody must have stared at me, and thought "what a loser!" I slunk around the room, looking for sharp objects to stab myself with or to cut me own throat, and quickly end this nightmare. I was scarred for life.

I only started to realize in my fifties that women actually want guys, the women copulate not only because society expects them, but because they, too, enjoy it. And they enjoyed it with me, but I went through life as if getting a woman was hard work, an thankless job, and basically a pitiable proposition altogether, with each pitiful proposition I made.

[Greta]

All of it.

Atto, that is pretty embarrassing. I do remember the band struggling to carry its gear up two flights of stairs because the bar manager would not let us carry it through the bar (even though the night crowds hadn't arrived). As I stumbled up the steps I was swearing about what an utter, utter dickhead the bar manager was.

I think you can guess the rest

[attofishpi]

All of it.

Atto, that is pretty embarrassing. I do remember the band struggling to carry its gear up two flights of stairs because the bar manager would not let us carry it through the bar (even though the night crowds hadn't arrived). As I stumbled up the steps I was swearing about what an utter, utter dickhead the bar manager was.

I think you can guess the rest

Yep, no free beer for the roadie...a travesty!

[vegetariantaxidermy]

It gave me a complex for decades to come.

In grade five or six my mom enrolled me in dancing school at school after school. It was not a subject, but an extracullicular activity. Mom thought it is a social skill, it can only help me if I learned. Much like she sent me to swimming school.

At the end of the 8-week long course there was a gala night. Teachers, parents, friends sat around the perimeter of the gym, and watched us do our new-learnt skill. One dance after another.

Ladies' choice came up. Boys lined up one side of the room, girls, the other side. The stampede started on a cue, and every boy was asked, except one. There was just one more boy in number than girls.

Guess who the boy was.

As the rest started to dance, I thought everybody must have stared at me, and thought "what a loser!" I slunk around the room, looking for sharp objects to stab myself with or to cut me own throat, and quickly end this nightmare. I was scarred for life.

I only started to realize in my fifties that women actually want guys, the women copulate not only because society expects them, but because they, too, enjoy it. And they enjoyed it with me, but I went through life as if getting a woman was hard work, an thankless job, and basically a pitiable proposition altogether, with each pitiful proposition I made.

.

[gaffo]

my sis walking into kitchen in early morning - while i was jacking off as a highschooler (sis was freshman in college - still living at our moms home).

its ok though, i walking in into my dad's bedroom a decade later in another house/state (parents separated for eons (surving my sis's role in the play)).

[Greta]

All of it.

Atto, that is pretty embarrassing. I do remember the band struggling to carry its gear up two flights of stairs because the bar manager would not let us carry it through the bar (even though the night crowds hadn't arrived). As I stumbled up the steps I was swearing about what an utter, utter dickhead the bar manager was.

I think you can guess the rest

Yep, no free beer for the roadie...a travesty!

Roadies? What strange luxury is this? Do you mean bands have servants to do their carrying for them? How utterly delightful. I heard the rumours and saw the guys in black t-shirts buckling under the weight of W-bins but no roadies ever came near my bands!

Nope, we were blacklisted by the pub.

Came close to a super embarrassing situation the other week. My nephew had gone out on a Sat night. The next morning the old dog was looking like she was on death's door. She was lolling about and I was bringing little snacks to her to check her appetite. She would look mournfully at me and turn away. Then I noticed her stomach was gurgling like no tomorrow and wondered if she'd scavenged something unhealthy while out on a walk. I checked up the animal hospital and saw that they opened at 10am on the Sun.

One hour until I took the ailing animal for treatment and the sick dog was still rejecting treats she'd normally gobble up, lying weakly under the coffee table. Then my nephew returned and was also worried when he saw her, especially at the huge and frequent stomach gurgles. Then he asked, 'Did you feed her last night?'.

So we doled out her usual dinner in a bowl and she quickly got up and ate. So she was too grumpy to eat mere treats - it was either a proper meal or nuttin'. I imagined what would have nappened if the nephew stayed out and I dragged this creature, lolling about tragically, into the animal hospital. Quick! Quick! Get your stupid cats and fucking guinea pigs out of the way, this is a REAL emergency!

Then the vet finds out that the dog was just a bit hungry ... I'd have to leave town A bit like when American Dad's Stan couldn't live down the becoming a laughing stock after a poop slipped out following his big dive in a school competition, in front of the whole school.

[Dalek Prime]

I think society controls us through embarrassment, and if we can get over that feeling, we would be much freer for it.

'Dont be EMBARRASSED by bad breath. Use Clorets.'

Fuck that. It's your bad breath. Enjoy it.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

I doubt if anyone would tell their MOST embarrassing moment. They pick out the 'acceptable' ones (usually something corny that doesn't send you into suicidal despair at the memory).

[attofishpi]

I doubt if anyone would tell their MOST embarrassing moment. They pick out the 'acceptable' ones (usually something corny that doesn't send you into suicidal despair at the memory).

True, but i think Gaffo is winning so far.

[attofishpi]

When I was about 11 I spent the early hrs vomiting with pains on the right side of my lower abdomen. Eventually they suspected appendicitis, so I went to hospital with my parents and sister who is 4yrs my senior.
We were in a private room and I was sat on the bed as a nurse was talking to my parents. As usual I was semi-daydreaming, I had never had to go to hospital a lot was playing on my mind, like mmm death. Anyway, some of the words the nurse mentioned I didn't understand, it could have been 'rectum', and accompanied by some other wording that made my sister start to laugh and stare at me as she and my parents were instructed to leave the room. What was she laughing about!??
The nurse had an accent, turned out she was from New Zealand. Anyway, I was instructed to drop my pants and roll over into the foetal position, then she proceeded to push a finger up my arse hole. As she wiggled it around, 'Any pain there, and pain now'...etc No No ..fucking Noooo!
Anyway, eventually after being molested, it was appendicitis and the operation went ahead for its removal with no issue.
Whenever I heard the voice of an Australian or NZ woman for a few years after that, I would shudder and think, 'Dirty bitch!'
Ever since, anyone I have spoken to that has had appendicitis, has never had to have a finger up their rectum...I still think I was molested!
These days i'd pay money for it.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

When I was about 11 I spent the early hrs vomiting with pains on the right side of my lower abdomen. Eventually they suspected appendicitis, so I went to hospital with my parents and sister who is 4yrs my senior.
We were in a private room and I was sat on the bed as a nurse was talking to my parents. As usual I was semi-daydreaming, I had never had to go to hospital a lot was playing on my mind, like mmm death. Anyway, some of the words the nurse mentioned I didn't understand, it could have been 'rectum', and accompanied by some other wording that made my sister start to laugh and stare at me as she and my parents were instructed to leave the room. What was she laughing about!??
The nurse had an accent, turned out she was from New Zealand. Anyway, I was instructed to drop my pants and roll over into the foetal position, then she proceeded to push a finger up my arse hole. As she wiggled it around, 'Any pain there, and pain now'...etc No No ..fucking Noooo!
Anyway, eventually after being molested, it was appendicitis and the operation went ahead for its removal with no issue.
Whenever I heard the voice of an Australian or NZ woman for a few years after that, I would shudder and think, 'Dirty bitch!'
Ever since, anyone I have spoken to that has had appendicitis, has never had to have a finger up their rectum...I still think I was molested!
These days i'd pay money for it.

I'm pretty sure the appendix isn't up the arse. Perhaps she thought you might be constipated? (although she could have just asked). That's really weird, but what else would you expect from a Kiwi? They aren't right in the head.

[attofishpi]

When I was about 11 I spent the early hrs vomiting with pains on the right side of my lower abdomen. Eventually they suspected appendicitis, so I went to hospital with my parents and sister who is 4yrs my senior.
We were in a private room and I was sat on the bed as a nurse was talking to my parents. As usual I was semi-daydreaming, I had never had to go to hospital a lot was playing on my mind, like mmm death. Anyway, some of the words the nurse mentioned I didn't understand, it could have been 'rectum', and accompanied by some other wording that made my sister start to laugh and stare at me as she and my parents were instructed to leave the room. What was she laughing about!??
The nurse had an accent, turned out she was from New Zealand. Anyway, I was instructed to drop my pants and roll over into the foetal position, then she proceeded to push a finger up my arse hole. As she wiggled it around, 'Any pain there, and pain now'...etc No No ..fucking Noooo!
Anyway, eventually after being molested, it was appendicitis and the operation went ahead for its removal with no issue.
Whenever I heard the voice of an Australian or NZ woman for a few years after that, I would shudder and think, 'Dirty bitch!'
Ever since, anyone I have spoken to that has had appendicitis, has never had to have a finger up their rectum...I still think I was molested!
These days i'd pay money for it.

I'm pretty sure the appendix isn't up the arse. Perhaps she thought you might be constipated? (although she could have just asked). That's really weird, but what else would you expect from a Kiwi? They aren't right in the head.

Oh well, these days I don't mind a bird, they're usually the flightless type, shoving their finger up my arse.

[Dalek Prime]

I would love to be caught with my pants down, with some hot bird milking my prostate from behind....

Sorry. Did I say that out loud?