Got any good jokes?

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Vitruvius
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Vitruvius »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 8:53 am Subjectivists can't tell their left from my right!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:44 pm..and a drunk can't tell whether they left, right?
You're back! Hooray!

lol

How and/or where U been?
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:52 pm
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 8:53 am Subjectivists can't tell their left from my right!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:44 pm..and a drunk can't tell whether they left, right?
You're back! Hooray!

lol

How and/or where U been?
..ya cheers, gonna have to blame a shitload of valium, cognac and a fucked up family. How are you!!!?
Vitruvius
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Vitruvius »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 8:53 am Subjectivists can't tell their left from my right!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:44 pm..and a drunk can't tell whether they left, right?
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:52 pmYou're back! Hooray!

lol

How and/or where U been?
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:55 pm..ya cheers, gonna have to blame a shitload of valium, cognac and a fucked up family. How are you!!!?
Sorry to hear that. I'm almost the polar opposite; kind of on a health kick. Given up drinking, smoking and hanging out with indigents! I hate it!
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

...shit. My guess is you will suicide before satan claws puts a bomb under your bed (if you are lucky)

Trust me, until you find TRUE love, you are FAAARRKKED - and thats not fucked - in the good way
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Do you want me to tell U a story or more?
Vitruvius
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Vitruvius »

attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:03 pm ...shit. My guess is you will suicide before satan claws puts a bomb under your bed (if you are lucky)

Trust me, until you find TRUE love, you are FAAARRKKED - and thats not fucked - in the good way
No time for love. Gotta planet to save. Got this whole survival of the species thing going on.

How would it look if I just gave up?

As for someone else putting me down; not if I see you first!

So, what brings you back - run out of booze?
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:11 pm So, what brings you back - run out of booze?
wot!!!? If there was such a dilemma then go forth and save the planet!!

...btw, the best way to save the species is to pickle everyone
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:09 pm Do you want me to tell U a story or more?
Vitruvius
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Vitruvius »

attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:13 pm
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:11 pm So, what brings you back - run out of booze?
wot!!!? If there was such a dilemma then go forth and save the planet!!

...btw, the best way to save the species is to pickle everyone

You getting a head start?
Weird how there's a brandy called Napoleon - but not one called Nelson!

Story: go!
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:20 pm
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:13 pm
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:11 pm So, what brings you back - run out of booze?
wot!!!? If there was such a dilemma then go forth and save the planet!!

...btw, the best way to save the species is to pickle everyone

You getting a head start?
Weird how there's a brandy called Napoleon - but not one called Nelson!

Story: go!
..er now, that's because Napoleon was a wanker, and a short wank at that. Nelson was a true man of grit, blown to bits and ended up with a huge cement pole up his bridges, to balance out about all the pigeon shit in true honour of what it is to look down at those feeding an endless supply of what will amount to more pigeon shit about the square. With a stiff upper lip, he still to this day does it with honour. ...and I am certain there is a tipple somewhere dedicated to his one eyed, one armed, one testicle dedication to king and cuntry.

..do U still want my little story?
Vitruvius
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Vitruvius »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:20 pmYou getting a head start?
Weird how there's a brandy called Napoleon - but not one called Nelson!

Story: go!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:30 pm..er now, that's because Napoleon was a wanker, and a short wank at that. Nelson was a true man of grit, blown to bits and ended up with a huge cement pole up his bridges, to balance out about all the pigeon shit in true honour of what it is to look down at those feeding an endless supply of what will amount to more pigeon shit about the square. With a stiff upper lip, he still to this day does it with honour. ...and I am certain there is a tipple somewhere dedicated to his one eyed, one armed, one testicle dedication to king and cuntry.

..do U still want my little story?
Is it a happy story, full of wonder and joy at the unlikely miracle of our existence?
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:36 pm
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:20 pmYou getting a head start?
Weird how there's a brandy called Napoleon - but not one called Nelson!

Story: go!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:30 pm..er now, that's because Napoleon was a wanker, and a short wank at that. Nelson was a true man of grit, blown to bits and ended up with a huge cement pole up his bridges, to balance out about all the pigeon shit in true honour of what it is to look down at those feeding an endless supply of what will amount to more pigeon shit about the square. With a stiff upper lip, he still to this day does it with honour. ...and I am certain there is a tipple somewhere dedicated to his one eyed, one armed, one testicle dedication to king and cuntry.

..do U still want my little story?
Is it a happy story, full of wonder and joy at the unlikely miracle of our existence?
...ooo. No it wasn't - is that the story you would prefer?
Vitruvius
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Vitruvius »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:20 pmYou getting a head start?
Weird how there's a brandy called Napoleon - but not one called Nelson!

Story: go!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:30 pm..er now, that's because Napoleon was a wanker, and a short wank at that. Nelson was a true man of grit, blown to bits and ended up with a huge cement pole up his bridges, to balance out about all the pigeon shit in true honour of what it is to look down at those feeding an endless supply of what will amount to more pigeon shit about the square. With a stiff upper lip, he still to this day does it with honour. ...and I am certain there is a tipple somewhere dedicated to his one eyed, one armed, one testicle dedication to king and cuntry.

..do U still want my little story?
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:36 pmIs it a happy story, full of wonder and joy at the unlikely miracle of our existence?
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:38 pm ...ooo. No it wasn't - is that the story you would prefer?
It's the story I'd rather you were telling, but that's mainly for your benefit.

Bring on the tale of woe!
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:41 pm
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:20 pmYou getting a head start?
Weird how there's a brandy called Napoleon - but not one called Nelson!

Story: go!
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:30 pm..er now, that's because Napoleon was a wanker, and a short wank at that. Nelson was a true man of grit, blown to bits and ended up with a huge cement pole up his bridges, to balance out about all the pigeon shit in true honour of what it is to look down at those feeding an endless supply of what will amount to more pigeon shit about the square. With a stiff upper lip, he still to this day does it with honour. ...and I am certain there is a tipple somewhere dedicated to his one eyed, one armed, one testicle dedication to king and cuntry.

..do U still want my little story?
Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:36 pmIs it a happy story, full of wonder and joy at the unlikely miracle of our existence?
attofishpi wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:38 pm ...ooo. No it wasn't - is that the story you would prefer?
It's the story I'd rather you were telling, but that's mainly for your benefit.
Oh no, now things are getting cut down to sumfin serious - for one thing - my presence on this forum is DONE. What remains is not for my benefit - unless it entails me having my fun.

Vitruvius wrote: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:36 pmBring on the tale of woe!
I was down the beach the tuther day, has a wee wee in the sand dunes as my trusty dog watched on in my van. As I tucked away my appendage and turned to walk back to said van, some random maniac decided to set upon me, fists blazing my way. Now, it takes a LOT for me to hit someone in da face, but after he got a left hook to my face, I smashed the dickhead square in the snos. Blood was pissing out of his face as I fell back to the floor - I still can't believe he was atop of me and as I looked up at his bloodied face I said "GOD is going to fuck U up" - at which point he froze with panic\fear, and jumped to his feet - he then ran off with one of my sandals - and eventually threw it over a fence into a Surf Life Saving Club. Hence I have to go to the club and ask for my sandal back.

- end of story (as far as we are concerned - but I wonder what his past life had been for such words to strike such fear into him.) KARMA - he questioned his own psyche right there and then.
Last edited by attofishpi on Thu Sep 23, 2021 2:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

...want anuva story?

..or perhaps it is your turn?
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