Got any good jokes?

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Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

You know why Chris Rock is cool? Because he turned the other cheek after Will Smith tried to take his head off.
Wait a minute … turning the other cheek sounds biblical.
Still cool?

Some of his old stuff, which is actually a public service announcement:

Chris Rock - How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By The Police
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gCCjFbFXn8

:lol:
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Sculptor
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Sculptor »

Why do Golfers wear two pairs of trousers?





The doctor was looking nervous.
"How am I doing Doc?"
"Well the news is not great."
"Shit. What's up"
"I'm sad to heave to tell you you have a terminal illness"
"How long have I got?"
"Ten..."
"Ten does not sound too bad. Ten what?"
"Nine...... Eight...... Seven.... Six......
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

Slow down that count, ref.
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

Another public service announcement.

Bill Burr - how to argue with women
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQOyXlsoS04

:lol:
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

"Doctor doctor!"

"FFS, what is it now atto?"

"I want you to cut my bollocks off, and shove my penis up inside me."

"Why, why would you want to do that?"

"Because...................i've decided to become a lesbian."

:mrgreen:
Phil8659
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Phil8659 »

alicensophia
Now that is funny! the Title. All the jokers on this forum are being asked if they know themselves. Nicely done.

And it was the best way to say goodbye to the forum as nobody here seems to know what the good is.
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FlashDangerpants
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by FlashDangerpants »

Phil8659 wrote: Sun Jul 10, 2022 6:01 pm
alicensophia
Now that is funny! the Title. All the jokers on this forum are being asked if they know themselves. Nicely done.

And it was the best way to say goodbye to the forum as nobody here seems to know what the good is.
Hmm advice on jokes from the guy who gave us such funnies as ...
  • Wait, when you think the microwave is broken, do not short the door switch and test it as a hat
  • ... unless I were testing how to dry hair with a microwave oven
  • I thought it would be interesting to study an individual who obviously tried to make a microwave hair dryer with disastrous results.
  • LMAO, that whole thing is either a joke, or you need your microwave oven repaired and then hospitalized.
  • The testing of our new microwave hair dryer has passed with flying colors.
  • Do you wake up in the morning, take a shower and then dry your hair with your microwave oven?
I honestly didn't make up that microwave repair one to make him look extra stupid.
Phil8659
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Phil8659 »

Absolutely not! I put them on the shit list.
Phil8659
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Phil8659 »

But getting serious, I listen to a lot of music when working on my e book projects.
A lot of music is really nice, but once in a while you get this crooner, and I sometimes play with the lyrics, the the lyric was "last time I felt like this way. . . " and I changed them to "Last time I felt this way, I got arrested from groping." So, yep I am even a smart-ass about lyrics. Weird Al, did it for a profession.
The old Muppet Movies, are filled with jokes I know kids could not get, and even got passed the censors.

But the source of my those contemplations today was a song which originated with no lyrics as classical music, was put into the words of a serious love song by some lady, and a comedy, Hello mother, hello father, I am writing from Camp Granada, etc"

So, lyrics have always been distinct from the melody and some do it well, and some as a profession, but the best are those who can take a song, with the lyrics of a deranged sociopath, Every breath you take, Every step you take, which I call a stalkers song, and it was turned into a very beautiful arrangement as one of remembrance of love, it was beautifully done, by Puff Daddy. Beautiful job.
Phil8659
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Phil8659 »

I had one, but I lost it when I slipped on my mind.

Does anyone make a smaller condom?
Phil8659
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Phil8659 »

I remember in the service, we had to get regular check ups overseas.
This guy got the results of his check up back, and said, everything is okay cept the level of protean in my urine. What does that mean? He says.

Well, I said, It means you don't get laid much, do you?
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Hitler was shit at hiring staff..look at the crap plumber he hired that fucked up and stupidly connected the water pipes to the gas tanks.
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Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

attofishpi wrote: Sat Jul 09, 2022 8:00 am "Doctor doctor!"

"FFS, what is it now atto?"

"I want you to cut my bollocks off, and shove my penis up inside me."

"Why, why would you want to do that?"

"Because...................i've decided to become a lesbian."

:mrgreen:
:lol:
That is seriously funny. 😆
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Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Yes who’s here!
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