Got any good jokes?

[Arising_uk]

Men who take the oath to commit to another person under gods sacred law should practice what they are preaching, he didn't stick to the law, instead he used me, turned out I was his fucking whore instead of his equal. ...

Where in Christianity does it say women are the equal of men?

With respect to this oath are you saying he was unfaithful as well? If not then maybe he took the 'to have and to hold' literally, do you remember the bit where you swore an oath 'for better or worse'?

He was a lair just like the rest of this scum human race...all lying whore scum bags. ...

Including you then?

You have no idea what I meant by multiple times, you only know what is inside your mind, your interpretation , smell your own shit, and stop sucking my dick. ...

You're a she-male?

By multiple times I presumed you meant more than once?

No, he did not belittle anyone, that is just your own inner whore speaking. I got the joke, it was hilarious, obviously you didn't because you have a filthy mind.

I must be a bit slow, explain the joke to me.

I AM

ARE YOU, that's good as so am I.

I always do.

And it's largely bullshit.

[Walker]

Lip Reading
What could go wrong?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zCDvOsdL9Q

[Walker]

Steven Wright 3:14

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akhxTqAMiiA

[Walker]

“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
- Steven Wright

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJCMjJwIGxY

[SpheresOfBalance]

I got a doozie. "Donald Trump" so far in this four year period, 'his last term' as president of the US. Now that's funny!

[QuantumT]

A car just crossed the border, and is stopped by the police.

- Congratulations, you are the 1000th car today, that kept the speed limit, and you've won 1000$! What will you spend the money on?
- Getting my drivers license, the driver said.
- Don't listen to him, he's full of nonsense when he's drunk! Said the man next to him.
- I knew it would go wrong in a stolen car! Said the guy in the backseat.
And then a low voice was heard from the trunk:
- Are we over border now?

[commonsense]

What do you call a philosopher with no arms, no legs and no tongue, who is hanging on a wall?
Tasteless art.

[commonsense]

What do you get when you cross a tzetse fly with an elephant?
You get your lab taken away.

[commonsense]

"The answer is 3.14159265", said a pious student.

[commonsense]

The guy said he was really anxious, although he was past tense.

[commonsense]

A slice of pie in Jamaica is $2.00. It is $2.59 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

[commonsense]

Why do some mathematicians go 'trick or treat'ing on Christmas Day?
Because they know 31 oct = 25 dec .

How is that?

31 in base 8 ("oct") is 25 in base 10 (decimal), which is our home base.

And of course: there are only 10 types of people in the entire world--those who understand binary and those who don't.

Don't be discouraged. Seven out of five people are math illiterate.

[Walker]

The Moth Joke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUjIM-GFWhk

[Walker]

Brilliant situational joke!

"Where can I plug this in?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9DwRcioFWM

[Philosophy Explorer]

Do we drive on the parkway or park on the driveway?

PhilX