Got any good jokes?

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Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

attofishpi wrote: Tue Dec 14, 2021 10:40 pm Got any good jokes?
Begin with what you know for sure.

Some day each of us will no longer exist, as each of us now exists.

Can you make this statement of what you know for sure true, false, or a joke?
(Feel free to freely use implications.)
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Walker wrote: Wed Dec 15, 2021 3:43 pm
attofishpi wrote: Tue Dec 14, 2021 10:40 pm Got any good jokes?
Begin with what you know for sure.

Some day each of us will no longer exist, as each of us now exists.

Can you make this statement of what you know for sure true, false, or a joke?
(Feel free to freely use implications.)
Unfortunately, I can still only resort to replacing an 'N' for the 'L' within your name.
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

attofishpi wrote: Wed Dec 15, 2021 4:04 pm
Walker wrote: Wed Dec 15, 2021 3:43 pm
attofishpi wrote: Tue Dec 14, 2021 10:40 pm Got any good jokes?
Begin with what you know for sure.

Some day each of us will no longer exist, as each of us now exists.

Can you make this statement of what you know for sure true, false, or a joke?
(Feel free to freely use implications.)
Unfortunately, I can still only resort to replacing an 'N' for the 'L' within your name.
Telling jokes to a tough audience:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJuIYcVnc2I

:lol:
promethean75
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by promethean75 »

I think he's axing you if we should actively seek out dangers with which we might make ourselves stronger by surviving.

I'm reminded of the swedish approach to the covid outbreak a couple years ago. They were into the 'herd immunity' thing where nobody gets vaxxed and they just offer up their weakest members to the virus. A dialogue between two swedes, whom we shall name Harry and Margaret (because I'd have to Google swedish names), might look like this.

Harry: look at the little American weaklings lining up to get the vaccine! By the gods are there no real men left in the western world?

Margaret: Harry, your uncle Marvin just died from the virus like two days ago. Have you forgotten already?

Harry: Marvin died a man, accepting of his fate, ordained by the gods. He has a place in Valhalla now. Quiet now, woman! You know nothing of what it means to be noble.

Margaret: oh there you go again with that hyper-masculinity stuff. Look, can't you just play football or buy a big four wheel drive truck or something? The warrior ethos is cute, Harry, but really, you'd still be my sexy blonde beast even if you got the vaccine, you know.

[Harry blushes and begins to pace]

Margaret: come now, darling. The meatballs are ready. We'll have a nice meal and talk about this again in the morning.

Harry: oh Margaret, my love. It is but for your bosom that my life has any meaning at all. Perhaps I should get the vaccine. I shall think on it, Thor be damned.
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

promethean75 wrote: Wed Dec 15, 2021 11:51 pm It has just occured to me that I failed to formally introduce myself to the forum.

My sincerest apologies.
I just think it deserves to be here, since others are posting u-tubes. :D
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

promethean75 wrote: Thu Dec 16, 2021 12:38 am I think he's axing you if we should actively seek out dangers with which we might make ourselves stronger by surviving.
That brings to mind an old Wizard of Id comic strip.

The Royal Knight formally announces to the king that Sir Hillary has climbed the highest mountain.
The King asks Sir Hillary why he did that.
Sir Hillary says, because it was there.
The King advises: Don’t go to the beach.
Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Dental job? I thought they were force feeding him milk.
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Two insane blokes are sick of being locked up in the insane asylum and decide to escape one night.

They manage to get on the roof of the 3 storey building and need to get to the other building, but it was 50 metres away.

One of the men says it's ok, I got a torch, you can cross by walking along the beam of light.

The other bloke says, hey you think I'm crazy? You'll probably turn the torch off when I am half way across.
Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

attofishpi wrote: Wed Jan 19, 2022 10:46 am Dental job? I thought they were force feeding him milk.
:lol: :lol:
promethean75
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by promethean75 »

Yeah I got a joke for ya.

I wuz quoted around $600 for the following three items:

Sell and mount rear tire (Michelin Pilot CT-2)

Flush and fill radiator

Install air filter (that I would provide)

In addition to marking the tire up at least $50 dollars to $175 (I see it online for $125 all day), he claimed these items would take three hours in labor. Oh reeely? Tire mount might take 30 minutes, radiator flush 45 at most, and the air filter installation all of 5 minutes, because the tank and fairing is already out of the way for the radiator flush.

In reality, this work might take an hour and a half for an experienced mechanic, and materials (tire and fluid) $175 at most... bringing the total to around $325 if he paid his mechanic $100 per hour.

Here's my problem. I go to google maps to drop a review and I see the guy's got five stars and a whole page of nuthin but praise from other customers. It's like a fuckin wank fest of motorcycle enthusiasts. 'gosh this guy is so great' and 'excellent service' and 'very affordable' yada yada yada. So now I feel bad and don't wanna call em out in front of all his customers, ya know? But the guy's a big fat liar. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Give em all a lecture on the woes of capitalism and how they're all getting greased by this numbnutts?
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henry quirk
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by henry quirk »

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

go find yourself an honest mechanic and let the market decide the dishonest mechanic's fate
Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

Dontaskme wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2022 2:37 pm Image
Florange
Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

attofishpi wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:33 pm
Dontaskme wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2022 2:37 pm Image
Florange
:lol:
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