Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Can philosophers help resolve the real problems that people have in their lives?

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Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by -1- »

I joined several meet-up groups in my town.

I also have a lover that loves me like a child, and I love her. We get along fine, our relationship is ideal from her point of view, and very livable and optimum-perfect from my point of view.

But I have roving eyes.

I met a woman who charmed me out of my pants, and I wrote her a poem. I was planning to give it to her at a meeting, without any intention of leaving my girlfriend, or becoming two-timing.

I took the poem to a meeting where we played cards. The "other woman" was not having a good time and she left hastily.

Worse yet, the poem I had typed (printed) had fallen out of my pocket and I only noticed that on my way home, walking to the bus-stop.

Now, I don't know who found the poem. It could have fallen out at any point after leaving the house.

What do I do? Retype the poem and give it to the "other woman"? She's a dynamic person, she can get anyone by flicking her fingers, and she is nice on top of that, and good-looking. At least seventy-five hundred men are vying for her attention at any event she goes to. Giving her the poem would be a gesture to celebrate her womanhood, but I intend to stay with my gf.

What if I give her the poem and she had been given it by someone else who had found it? Her name or mine does not appear on the paper.

WTF? Why am I even entertaining the idea of giving her a poem when I am not at all willing to pursue her?
uwot
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by uwot »

-1- wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:42 amWTF? Why am I even entertaining the idea of giving her a poem when I am not at all willing to pursue her?
Because there is a small part of every man's brain, attached to the bit that fires the erectile tissue, that believes ridiculous gestures are just the thing to open a woman's legs while keeping her mouth shut.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by -1- »

uwot wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:12 am
-1- wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:42 amWTF? Why am I even entertaining the idea of giving her a poem when I am not at all willing to pursue her?
Because there is a small (read: huge -- Edit by -1-) part of every man's brain, attached to the bit that fires the erectile tissue, that believes ridiculous gestures are just the thing to open a woman's legs while keeping her mouth shut.
Well. That works for those men who... geeze, I don't know how to put it without bringing the wrath of ladies and women on this site upon myself.

I mean, there is more than one... I can't say it. I'd risk social suicide on this site if I said it.

There is an importance for me in women opening their mouths. A huge importance.

Fuck, I said it.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by uwot »

-1- wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:25 pmThere is an importance for me in women opening their mouths. A huge importance.
That's not what your lover told me.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by vegetariantaxidermy »

If you give her the poem she will think you are needy and a bit creepy. If your girlfriend finds out she might leave you -- and rightly so.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by surreptitious57 »

You apparently love your girlfriend and she loves you and yet you are writing a poem to another woman
Maybe you losing it is serendipity telling you that you dont need to do this as you already have someone
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by Lacewing »

Just curious...

What would you think about your girlfriend writing a similar poem to a man?

Would it bother you at all for her to do that?

What would you think her intent was if she were to do such a thing?
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by Dubious »

Write another poem if you think that's going to turn her on. Make sure it's not just another piece of sentimental slop coming out of a greasy soup kitchen. Ninety nine percent of love poems are like that overdosed with saccharine and cholesterol inside a limited vocabulary.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by vegetariantaxidermy »

Unless you are living in the early 19th century and your name is Byron then don't bother.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by Dubious »

Don't know why Byron bothered as often as he did although this was one hombre who really knew how. Goethe was another who couldn't resist writing one on every occasion and there were plenty of those; he lived to be over 80 and kept in practice to the end.
Last edited by Dubious on Sat Jul 14, 2018 12:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by Impenitent »

vegetariantaxidermy wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:48 pm Unless you are living in the early 19th century and your name is Byron then don't bother.
I thought it was Cyrano...

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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by -1- »

Lacewing wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:24 pm Just curious...

What would you think about your girlfriend writing a similar poem to a man?

Would it bother you at all for her to do that?

What would you think her intent was if she were to do such a thing?
This is a good question, Lacewing. I would be at most very surprized, but I am not the jealous or possessive kind. Something like that hit song by Sting, the punch line of which I am sure he borrowed from a classic poem: "If you love them, let them go free." I don't believe that is a good policy, but if they want to go free, themselves, then let them, without any judgmentalism.

The only time I think I swayed from this principle (which is a talent more than a principle... it is a given, not a worked-on thing) is when a lover cheated on me to make me jealous and value her, and I used that same action of hers as an opportunity to break up with her. I had no moral or other reasons to break up with that lover (back 30 years ago) because she was nice and age-appropriate, and etc etc, but I was not in love with her, and I needed an "out". Her infidelity presented an excellent (albeit false) excuse for me.

This current lover would never cheat on me or anything... she loves me like a child. Like a little chile. It would be like an eight-year-old boy sincerely calling a non-mother his mother: unnatural. Unheard of. Next to impossible.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by -1- »

uwot wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:52 pm
-1- wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:25 pmThere is an importance for me in women opening their mouths. A huge importance.
That's not what your lover told me.
Reminds me of an old Hungarian joke:

A nobleman sits out on the terrace of a posh cafe, with his friend, who is also a nobleman. They see two incredibly gorgeous women walk down the sidewalk. One says: "You see, Sir Aristid? One of those two is my wife, the other, my lover." Sir Aristid brightens up, and says happily, "Is that right? For me too!"
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by -1- »

surreptitious57 wrote: Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:48 pm You apparently love your girlfriend and she loves you and yet you are writing a poem to another woman
Maybe you losing it is serendipity telling you that you dont need to do this as you already have someone
I like this answer the best... playing with fire will only increase the chances of your burning yourself... let sleeping dogs lie... don't rile the rattlesnake... do not feed the orangutans...

Providence acting for my behalf... or a subconscious effort to save myself from disaster.
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Re: Dear Abby: What do I do with this love poem?

Post by -1- »

Dubious wrote: Sat Jul 14, 2018 12:50 am Don't know why Byron bothered as often as he did although this was one hombre who really knew how. Goethe was another who couldn't resist writing one on every occasion and there were plenty of those; he lived to be over 80 and kept in practice to the end.
My favourite, Keats, on the other hand, had one nice although hapless lover whom he had to contend with with, and even more so, vice versa. Keats wrote poetry I love the most, but he was a narcissistic bistid, who was ever so hard to get along with... she needed to walk on eggshells around him, and that even was never good enough for Keats.

I think his basic beef was that he was doomed to monogamy, while his ideal for lifestyle was Goethe's and Byron's and he was pissed off to no end he could not follow suit.
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