Philosophy Explorer wrote: ↑Wed Oct 11, 2017 1:46 am
And Aussies would give their children tacky names like VegetarianTaxidermy.
"You see that carrot, over the mantlepiece, son? I killed with one single shot. Right throught its eyes."
"Yes, daddy, tell us again about the great cabbage drive."
"Well, son, it was back in the winter of '88 when we drove a herd of cabbages through the plains, right through Indian country..."
"Hold on, dad, this is Australia, not America..."
"Right you are, son. So a tribe of kangaroos were watching us, unnoticed, from hilltops, as we meandered through the dried-up river-valley. All of a sudden a shot rang out. A million kangaroos were swarming down the hills, the cabbages got spooked, and they started a stampede!"
"Wow, dad! And what happened?"
"Well, son, it took us four days to round up all the stray cabbages. Some of he cabbages were eaten by the savages. We lost a good number of heads in that drive."
"But, son, this was nothing compared to the time when I was in the outback, on a walkabout, when I was attacked, without provocation, by a peanut shrub and two potatoes! But I'll tell you that next time. In the meantime, just look at that stuffed pepper, right beside your night light... on the stand, as it prepares to devour a koala-bear... I had it stuffed after it bit your mother's head off, and I had to kill it with my scimitar and cut its belly up with my machete to get back your mom's lovely head, and carve up its stomach with my bayonet; and get the head reattached by some surge'ns in Sidney. Good night now, little one!"
"Good night, daddy, don't let the bedpeas bite!"