Sorry I haven't been following; I only look in every couple of days lately.
duszek wrote:You can be hypersensitve and have a normal ego.
And insensitive people can have inflated or fragile or flabby or puny or robust or average ego.
What might happen, though, depending on the environment, is that a child considered to be too sensitive or insensitive for its assigned gender role is chivvied, bullied, belittled, goaded, nagged, cajoled, praised, bribed, punished, criticized or in some other way hounded until its ego is very sick, one way or another. But this can also happen if the adult environment considers a child insufficinetly athletic, talented, clever, attractive, pious or whatever trait the community, or the parents value - and, of course, the converse.
I'm not aware of any direct correlation with intelligence, either.
It's just another character trait on the same old bell curve.
However, sensitive people can appear more intelligent than they are because they are necessarily (self-defensively) observant. Just as subservient classes of people have always had to be more aware of the ones who had power over them than the people with power ever needed to be of their social inferiors, watching and anticipating others becomes a habit and a developed skill.
And, of course, insensitive people can appear less intelligent than they are because they don't bother with subtlety or tact, substituting the more convenient means of boldness and force. This means they fail to develop aspects of their pattern-recognition and linguistic ability.
Hypersensitive people can become victims of bullying because they suffer more from blows.
Being very empathetic they don´t distribute blows themselves (this would hurt them more than the target, again owing to a high empathy level).
So they get stuck in a vicious circle.
True. Empathy is often - though not necessarily
- part of the character-set. It's hard to tell in adulthood what was part of the original set and what's been added along the way as self-protection. By middle age, hypersensitive people tend to look like caddisflies. They may also retreat from emotional contact and seem cold, or become so self-involved as to lose interest in others.
What would you advise such people, Skip ?
Pretty much what I outlined on page 1. But it depends on the age and circumstances and degree of sensitivity, doesn't it?
In general, I'd say the same as I would for depression and anxiety [and i won't call those conditions disorders, because sometimes the response is entirely appropriate]:
Take control. The feeling belongs to you, not the other way around.
Take notes. Keep a journal, a graph of how you're doing from day to day, and see what kinds of activities lift your spirits and what kinds are unpleasant or threatening. See if you can arrange your activities more positively. See if you can avoid certain personalities and socialize more with other types. Common sense, really, but just the exercise itself helps the person take charge.
Meditation works for some. Extra sleep and lucid dreaming works for some. Visualization works for some.
Each person has to figure out what combination of techniques and scheduling works best for them in their particular circumstances. A counsellor can help with that, but it's too personal for any standard prescription.
(ETA - I like marjoram's advice of a steam-release session from time to time. Add pummeling a pillow or beating on a barrel. Actually, drumming circles and maze-walking are forms of stress reduction practiced by some natives. Dancing with great abandon does it for some.)
A cooperation between a tough person and a hypersensitive person is possible: for example things occur to a hypersensitive one that a tough person could use.
Houdini and Doyle?
Um, ye-e-es, maybe, but I'd take a very
deep breath before recommending it. The situations wherein I've actually seen this kind of teaming is among college-aged boys, and how it normally turns out is that the stronger one bullies or takes advantage of the weaker. He may not intend to - it's just too easy and they drift into a relationship. (One artsy kid nearly ended up taking a drug possession rap for his 'protector'.)
Perhaps a better strategy would be for sensitive people to team up and pool coping mechanisms, information, or whatever resource is available.
Support groups sometimes work very well, whether its a mindfuless meetings, seminar, role enactment, exercise sessions or recreational outings.