here´s a bit about how to deal with The Great Inhibitor, namely fear.
It´s a simple psychological reprogramming mechanism but turned out to be
somewhat effective in the past. Maybe you might get something from it. Enjoy
PART 1: The final encounter
I have a daydream.
In that daydream i got a personal visit by my own darkness.
It was quite a huge beast trying to give maximum fear and frustration to me.
I let it jump around in my room for a while (although that was not very comfortable,
because it really had some nasty elbows and tried to put its teeth into me).
But finally, when it took a short rest for breath, i offered it a couch to sit and asked it
to just hold on for a second to discuss the issue for as long as it needed to get
it´s full energy again to, well, do whatever it wants to again.
It thought gasping about it and said "o.k. fair enough.
So i, well, kind of show that emotional thingy some psycho-logic.
It kind of went like this:
ME:
Would you please tell me what you want from me?
FEAR:
Well, GROWING of course.I like to be as big as i can.
ME:
So you want to develop on my costs, do you?
FEAR:
Well, surely, you bugger. I´m your PERSONAL fear, remember?
ME:
How could i forget (sigh). o.k., now let´s now go on thinking.
What would you do finally if i allow you to do what you like?
FEAR:
Well, trying to consume the whole of you, naturally.
That would be the only time when i am maximum satisfied.
ME:
I understand. sounds pretty logic to me.
let´s now pretend i´ll give you o.k. for it right now ...
FEAR:
(smiling badly & trying to raise from my couch)
ME(hasty):
... well, let´s say in another 5 minutes, o.k.?
FEAR:
(still smiling but stopping once more)
ME:
So: if i ever completely satisfy your hunger,what would you eat the next day?
And please remember that you are my PERSONAL fear.
FEAR:
... uhm ... DAMN i don´t know. Probably nothing.
ME:
True. This point goes to you.
FEAR:
(smiling a bit satisfied because not being too bright)
ME:
Next step. if i allow you to, for example, eat my arms.
What would that mean?
FEAR (shrinking a bit):
... well, you would concentrate on the resulting pain.
Which would mean that you kind of turn away from me for a while.
ME:
That´s what you want?
FEAR(shrinking a bit):
... well, NO!, of course not!!!
ME:
Then please let´s rethink.
a. we both want to exist.
b. you cannot exist without me.
c. i guess i would feel more comfortable without you.
d. seems to me that i could simply get rid of you
by allowing you to follow your instinct. You still want that?
FEAR (shrinking a bit more):
YES ... no ... uhm, i´m not so sure anymore ...
ME:
What if i would allow you to get your own private room in myself?
You might play around as much as you like and i´ll promise not to
throw you out completely.You will live as long as i do.
And the longer i exist,the more you might play in your little room
and consume some of the impressions everydaylife offers me.
But when i EVER see you trying to burn down our private home,
i´ll definitely give you the final asskick! You got that?
FEAR (mutating into a cute little black kitten):
Well all right. Do you promise me to buy new stereocables to chew
from time to time?
ME (petting it and softly putting it into its room):
I promise. All right, seems to me we finally reached a win-win-situation.
Now i´ll have to go out and do a bit of work.
FEAR (squeaky):
I don´t like to be alone. Please come back soon, will you ...?!
ME: Roger.
(cage shut, kitty goes to sleep).
After that i felt slightly bad towards my fear,
as if mistreated some fragile lifeform that simply did wanted
maximum existence and didn´t knew better.
So i wrote a little amateur poem for it and hang it into
the cage, just in case the kitten (i called it Roger)
forgot how to behave:
Warm Welcome To Roger
(the melody is up to you)
Oh my fear, it´s you again
-the unexpected guest!
Come inside and see my brain,
have a little rest:
say, what do u want from i?
staying here forever?
yes, i see and do comply
for u that would be clever.
But remember: don´t u mess
and try to burn me up.
When i am not there´s nothing left
but tea without a cup.
So better leave for your own good
but please return some day,
I know you could not get what you would.
I see you will not stay.
"grey is just the other side of rainbow."
anyone who´s been around
