Anhedonia

Can philosophers help resolve the real problems that people have in their lives?

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Dalek Prime
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Re: "I'm kicking and breathing till I can't"

Post by Dalek Prime » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:29 pm

Dubious wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 12:09 am
Dalek Prime wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:37 pm
Mind, when my time comes, I do want to 'go gently into that good night', Dylsn Thomas be damned.
So would most people, I imagine, but often it's not a matter of choice. I never could figure out the merit of Dylan Thomas’s most famous line of poetry. If nature offers an easy way out it would be stupid not to take it. If you haven't got a choice it's best to keep the lullabies flowing and not the screams.

There are exceptions but most poets, especially modern ones are among the dumbest people on the planet.
Two things I consider anathema to philosophy, Dub. Romanticism and anthropomorphism. They allow to much room for subjectivity, projecting what we wish to see, not what is.

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-1-
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Re: Anhedonia

Post by -1- » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:22 am

Dalek Prime wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:25 pm
-1- wrote:
Sat Aug 04, 2018 10:54 pm
I liked your poem, btw, -1-.
thanks. It was a projection, about ten years ago. I was what? about 55 when I wrote it.

Dalek Prime
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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Dalek Prime » Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:02 pm

-1- wrote:
Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:22 am
Dalek Prime wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:25 pm
-1- wrote:
Sat Aug 04, 2018 10:54 pm
I liked your poem, btw, -1-.
thanks. It was a projection, about ten years ago. I was what? about 55 when I wrote it.
Perfect timing then. I'm just shy of 55. Do you still feel the same way you did ten years ago, when you wrote it?

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by -1- » Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:45 pm

Dalek Prime wrote:
Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:02 pm
-1- wrote:
Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:22 am
Dalek Prime wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:25 pm


I liked your poem, btw, -1-.
thanks. It was a projection, about ten years ago. I was what? about 55 when I wrote it.
Perfect timing then. I'm just shy of 55. Do you still feel the same way you did ten years ago, when you wrote it?
I feel more relaxed, generally, more at peace. But much more bored as well. The stakes are gone. There is no future, so it's like watching a movie now -- beyond sheer entertainment value, there is nothing left to life. LUCKILY I am set financially -- not rich by any means, but can make ends meet and I am debt free -- and luckily I scored a girlfriend three years ago who loves me dearly. But the lack of future plans is something that has created a vacuum.

Funny thing is, life has become much easier, not just financially, but with getting along with people too. Just be nice to them, and they will be nice to me. That is a secret I learned much too late, and I learned it only through practice, because I moved from a busy, rude, obnoxious big city to a sweet, idyllic mid-sized town ten years ago.

My health is steadily declining, not too fast, but steadily. Luckily again, my country has free medicare, no matter what the problem is. Wait times can be long, but so far so good. I jumped the line when I was waiting for heart surgery -- stents implants -- because I got sick and was taken to emerge in a hospital where they did stents, and a guy or a person just died who had been scheduled that day, so they subbed me instead -- the next in line took too long to respond, hey, here's an excellent patient. That was lucky.

In fact, I had a pretty miserable life, considering my luck has been consistent and very high. I just always wanted more than what I had got.

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Dalek Prime » Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:54 pm

-1- wrote:
Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:45 pm
I can almost see my life paralleled in yours, -1-. I'm glad you found a good companion. I'm sure it makes things easier, in a way. I hope I find one myself, eventually, but I'm getting difficult to live with. Or in my mind, anyway.

Are you in Canada as well, -1-? I only ask because you mentioned the health care system.

Anyway, I really appreciate you sharing your experiences (and experience) with me. It does help. Thank you.

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by -1- » Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:13 pm

No sweat, DP. Or Dippie. :-)

You have to have a sense of humour when you are born onto this planet. And if you can't laugh at others, whom can you laugh at?

I am in SW Ontario... where is Canuckistan? If it's a suburb of Toronto, in the GTA, like Brampton, then run for your life. I would like to suggest Peterborough, Belville, Barrie, Kingston, London, Windsor, Hamilton, Brantford. Anything that has a university and a hospital. Except the GTA, of course. Even Sault Ste. Marie, and Sudbury, even Thunder Bay are better places to live than Toronto. Except when you are the member of a visible minority, of course. There is a lot of covert bigotry in smaller cities. It's a shame, and nobody talks about it, but it's there. Luckily it comes across only in social arrangements, no longer in career opportunities and in other official business. You can be still yelled at if you are gay, but you are no longer publicly beaten up for it. Racial discrimination is also dying off, luckily, although ever so slowly.

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Dalek Prime » Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:11 am

-1- wrote:
Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:13 pm
No sweat, DP. Or Dippie. :-)

You have to have a sense of humour when you are born onto this planet. And if you can't laugh at others, whom can you laugh at?

I am in SW Ontario... where is Canuckistan? If it's a suburb of Toronto, in the GTA, like Brampton, then run for your life. I would like to suggest Peterborough, Belville, Barrie, Kingston, London, Windsor, Hamilton, Brantford. Anything that has a university and a hospital. Except the GTA, of course. Even Sault Ste. Marie, and Sudbury, even Thunder Bay are better places to live than Toronto. Except when you are the member of a visible minority, of course. There is a lot of covert bigotry in smaller cities. It's a shame, and nobody talks about it, but it's there. Luckily it comes across only in social arrangements, no longer in career opportunities and in other official business. You can be still yelled at if you are gay, but you are no longer publicly beaten up for it. Racial discrimination is also dying off, luckily, although ever so slowly.
*Redacted due to oversharing.*

Better or worse, I've spent much of my time in and around Toronto.
Last edited by Dalek Prime on Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lacewing
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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Lacewing » Thu Aug 09, 2018 4:05 am

Dalek Prime wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 3:54 pm
I think part of it is that I took in a youngish woman to help her out of a bad situation. It's coming up to a year now, and I pretty much find my privacy cramped. There is an end to this, hopefully, by next spring, but I'm finding it difficult to just be myself and relax, with her here, and am most anxiously awaiting when she flies the coup...
A year is a long time... and it's not fair that you have to hope and wait. She needs to do the right thing for you too. It was very kind of you to help her out, but your health and peace must be considered in this arrangement too.

What will be her incentive to move? You can't let her deal all the cards, ya know?

I've often thought of taking in a roomie, but it IS a big energy suck... especially for those of us who tend to be peaceful, quiet hermits. It's different if it's a romantic partner... 'cause there are many good reasons you WANT them there. But someone who is just in your space is a responsibility/impact of a different kind.

I hope you can figure out a way to reclaim your privacy without feeling any guilt about it. You've probably done more than enough already. Tough love is good for her -- it keeps her energy moving in life too. :)

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Walker » Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:10 pm

She is a problem, for you. All problems are caused by self-cherishing. The truth will set you, and her, free. Tell her the truth, that it's you and not her.

Dalek Prime
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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Dalek Prime » Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:59 pm

Walker wrote:
Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:10 pm
She is a problem, for you. All problems are caused by self-cherishing. The truth will set you, and her, free. Tell her the truth, that it's you and not her.
Both of us have issues living with others. And I've told her that many a time, and I've already accepted that responsibility, explicitly. I'm quite honest with myself. As for all problems being caused by 'self-cherishing', if you're referring to preferences, and the frustrations of them being undermined, I can somewhat get behind that, Walker. I can also accept that I won't get my way in many matters. Most of us can't.

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Dalek Prime » Fri Aug 10, 2018 5:05 pm

Lacewing wrote:
Thu Aug 09, 2018 4:05 am
Dalek Prime wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 3:54 pm
I think part of it is that I took in a youngish woman to help her out of a bad situation. It's coming up to a year now, and I pretty much find my privacy cramped. There is an end to this, hopefully, by next spring, but I'm finding it difficult to just be myself and relax, with her here, and am most anxiously awaiting when she flies the coup...
A year is a long time... and it's not fair that you have to hope and wait. She needs to do the right thing for you too. It was very kind of you to help her out, but your health and peace must be considered in this arrangement too.

What will be her incentive to move? You can't let her deal all the cards, ya know?

I've often thought of taking in a roomie, but it IS a big energy suck... especially for those of us who tend to be peaceful, quiet hermits. It's different if it's a romantic partner... 'cause there are many good reasons you WANT them there. But someone who is just in your space is a responsibility/impact of a different kind.

I hope you can figure out a way to reclaim your privacy without feeling any guilt about it. You've probably done more than enough already. Tough love is good for her -- it keeps her energy moving in life too. :)
Thanks Lace. Yeah, she is beginning to realize the end is nigh. She's not keen on it, but seems more accepting of the inevitability of it.

Dalek Prime
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Existential crunch

Post by Dalek Prime » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:32 pm

I have absolutely no reason to be here at all.

Fuck. It's not even with sadness I say the above. It just is.

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henry quirk
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Post by henry quirk » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:49 pm

Dal,

No one has a reason to be here beyond what each drums up in the course of living.

I've cobbled together 'reasons to be here': you'll have to do the same.

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Greta
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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Greta » Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:43 pm

Dalek, I'm going to make some assumptions that we experience some common issues. By all means correct the misconceptions, although I think the general dynamics posited are real for many, even if not applicable to you.

For some, the main beauty of life lies in the detail of social interactions. For others, beauty largely lies in the big picture of the cosmos, nature and art.

The former group - extroverts - rule the world. They have become ever more adept at making introverts feel badly about themselves for the "crime" of finding their inspiration outside of the human fold. So then, feeling shamed and ignored for not being social enough, the introvert gives it another go. Maybe this time? Instead they find unease, embarrassment and a desperate desire to escape to the peace of trees, water features, birds and other animals. Sometimes this embarrasses them.

I personally have had MUCH more enjoyment in recent years watching the ants in my front yard doing their work than most social events. Or watching birds in flight, the different speeds, tempos, altitudes and styles. Or seeing their approaches to hassling people and dogs during nesting season. Or watching statuesque cloud formations roll by. Digging around in the lawn to remove bindi-eyes, dealing with tiny communities usually unseen. Or, reading, surfing online, posting, watching movies, or generally enjoying other people's words and works.

All of these things feels so much simpler and more pleasant than trying to deal with human social norms and strictures. In a time when people are pressured by life and social norms to make snap judgements about others, the annoyance of either being either muzzled or misunderstood becomes a strain and/or a bore. Bullshit continues to reign because any real attempt to arrive at truthfulness soon becomes too complicated to explain clearly. The moment the sincere dare try being truthful everyone puts up the "Nerd alert!" sign and you know once more that you have committed a social faux pas.

I don't think introverts should take upon themselves the blame for a disconnection that is actually based in their love of authenticity and weariness with the games one needs to play to gain others' trust. It's no one's fault, including yours. Just "stuff".

Now, what to do with it. It's pretty clear that almost nothing you can do can change anything in the big picture. That's for the few humans with near-inhuman drive and determination. Most of us don't qualify, and if we all tried it would be mayhem. Society seems to need these few leaders plus an absolute shitload of mediocre schmucks to act as conduits of energy and information through the society. Neurons. For many, the existential situation here is both noble and ignominious, powerful and impotent.

If what you do doesn't make much difference then you are more free than if you are a key player.

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Re: Anhedonia

Post by Atla » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:16 am

People who genuinely have a reason to be here, just aren't very bright..
For me it's quite some consolation though to know that no reason to live is no reason to die either, existence is just spontaneous. We do whatever we want/can with it.

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