The above piece of satire highlights the absurdity of some of the beliefs held by many Christians.Your "free gift" has been set aside especially for you and contains your assurance of "salvation".
Trouble getting those old sin stains out? Your "free gift" will clean out the toughest set-in sin stains. "Though your sins are as scarlet", with the "blood of Christ" "they will be as white as snow".
Bad righteousness. No problem. With acceptance of your "free gift", the righteousness of Jesus Christ will be imputed to you. You heard right. The righteousness of Jesus Christ will be imputed to you. Your righteousness will "surpass that of the scribes and Pharisees". Guaranteed. You do absolutely nothing. We do all the work.
Tired of feeling guilty? Accept your "free gift" now and we'll include forgiveness at absolutely no extra charge. Think of it. Simply confess your sins as you commit them and you will never have to feel guilt again.
Wait there's more. With your "free gift" you'll also receive "eternal life". No more fretting about your "eternal destination".
Accept your "free gift" today and as a special bonus you'll also receive entrance into the "Kingdom". Reserve the place we've set aside especially for you.
Sound too good to be true? Billions of satisfied Christians cannot be wrong. Don't be the last person on your block to have one.
Be sure to ask about our "prosperity gospel" package.
Offer may not be valid for Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses.
The gospel preached by Jesus stands in stark contrast to the above.
As Jesus preached His gospel, He taught salvation through righteousness. No one who commits sin is truly righteous. Jesus calls His followers to make themselves truly righteous as He was truly righteous.
According to the gospel preached by Jesus:
Only the truly righteous receive “salvation”.
Only the truly righteous receive “eternal life”.
Only the truly righteous live in the “Kingdom of God”.
Only the truly righteous have been "born of the spirit" / "born from above".
Only the truly righteous receive the "spirit of truth".
There is no "total depravity of man" in the gospel preached by Jesus.
There is no "vicarious atonement for the forgiveness of sins" in the gospel preached by Jesus.
There is no "imputed righteousness" in the gospel preached by Jesus.
There is no "if you have faith in the redemptive death and resurrection of Christ you will receive salvation, eternal life and life in the Kingdom" (or what have you) in the gospel preached by Jesus.
Yet many Christians call themselves "followers of Christ" when they don't follow the gospel preached by Jesus. Instead they believe and follow a gospel taught by those other than Christ. Christianity has the gospel taught by Paul and followers of Paul as its foundation.