What is right and what is wrong?

Is there a God? If so, what is She like?

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Inevitablethoughts
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2022 11:47 pm

What is right and what is wrong?

Post by Inevitablethoughts »

This is the lowest point in my life . I feel so alone and lost and i have a raging headache. I'm sitting in the corner of the waiting room at the hospital and wondering why is this happening to me? Most people would say why should it not happen to you? Why should your life not be a shit show? What makes you so special? That's just it ..i know i am not special in any way or form...but one thing i have always known is that I hav tried to do the right things. Tried to be a good person . Tried to make sure that i don't hurt or harm anyone. Tried to fight for what i think is right.
Or have i just convinced myself that i am doing all that? Have i been wanting to be on the right side so badly and so vehemently willed my conscience to do what is right that now i think whatever i do is right?
Is it about right and wrong though or is it about following a divine energy which guides you to what is right and steer you away from the wrong? Or does your brain just delude you into thinking your choices are the divine choices?
Does anyone even think about these things?
We have been led to belive that our life plays out because of the choices we make . Some are obvious and logical...if you buy a nice big fancy car, you will have to pay the price for it else they take it away from you..or if you go poke a bear, you are likely to get whooped by the bear.. others are not that simple ..how do you know what choices led you to go through the pain of losing a beloved pet , what did you do to see your relationship fail , where did you fuck up that your best friend betrayed your trust. How can you explain why you are crying because you are seeing your loved ones go through pain and suffering and hurt.
Ofcourse we all have our answers ..one thing is for sure...we always think we are smart enough to have all the answers..we have all the solutions that will magically make all our problems disappear...if only ...
To feel, to be human, is to go through tremendous amount of intense vulnerability.
Only psychopaths and dead people don't feel and we take these emotions for granted. Never fully comprehending how easy it is to get hurt and weep and wallow in despair or how much effort and hard work it takes for us to find joy and happiness.
I thought i was brave and strong and knew how to navigate the challenges and hardships of life ..but today as I fail to find stable ground inside my soul, i feel disappointed in myself...
Not entirely true though. Yes, I am extremely sad and have a raging headache . I am not able to focus on anything..but i close my eyes and i feel myself connected to God...yes i am a sinner, yes i am naive, yes i have made mistakes in my life. But i am on all fours in front of God, begging for some respite...to show me the way.
Why is spiritual oneness with God so difficult? Why is it so confusing and unclear? Is it not for everyone ? How do you know then if you should pursue it or not?
I will not trust everyone who has anything to say about this...because world is full of elements meant to take advantage of you..everyone..should your heart or rather brain and your consciousness not be the compass that you have to follow? But is your mind and conscience not driven by your limited experiences and your surrounding factors? So can you trust yourself to make the right choices? Who do you follow? What do you do? How can you stop this hurt and pain ?
I want to know if others think these things or should I just seek professional help.
Thoughts?
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