Sorry I forgot to include myself. Yes, I know, can see the fakeness /falseness in myself. And I hate it. I do not want to repeat being alive ever again if I could choose it.Age wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 2:33 pmYET 'you' can NOT SEE the FAKE and FALSENESS of "your" OWN 'self'.
'you' can NOT SEE the Falsehoods in 'you', and what 'you' say, but, SUPPOSEDLY, 'you' can SEE the so-called 'fake persona' of OTHER people, correct?
Also, the CONTRADICTION here is STRIKING. What CHANGED in your thinking was that you have ALWAYS been able to ....
Can you SEE and SPOT the CONTRADICTION here?
SHE is LOVE
Re: SHE is LOVE
Re: SHE is LOVE
That's right. Even though it's also perfectly ok to be happy or poor or rich, and not to feel repelled by these experiences. My experience of depression is that people appear to prefer to be around non-depressed people, that's all I was saying.
I accept it as part of being a thinking feeling sentient human being. I can endure it...but I would rather it wasn't there at all, and if I had the choice to choose to never be born ...then I would have chosen the non-existence over existence.
But obviously, no one who is born ever chooses to be born...so to be born comes knowledge, and knowledge means I can make up my own mind about what I enjoy and do not enjoy. I do not enjoy being alive. I do not enjoy pain, I do not even enjoy pleasure, because it's addictive and too much pleasure end ups as pain..it's all so stupid to me.
I enjoy falling in love with people, and them telling me they love me...but then feeling the pain when they have lied about loving me is why even falling in love with people is a big risk that is just not worth taking.
Re: SHE is LOVE
Dontaskme wrote:
And one astonishing thing I have also discovered is, that my depression has never been able to kill me off, well not yet anyway.
No ..I do not think depression wants me dead...if it did, then I would be dead by now, but I'm not, I'm still alive. That's what I was saying, my depression has not killed me off, not yet. It's not something like terminal cancer that will eventually kill you off is it.
Re: SHE is LOVE
To me, the words, "embracing a life of solitude", conjures up images of one living completely ALONE from OTHER 'human beings', usually in a cave or very minimal shelter.
When I here, "embracing a LIFE OF solitude", I do NOT ENVISION one chatting, "quite frequently", (which of course is very relative), to "others", like 'you' do here, in this forum. But each to their own, as it is said.
Now, OF COURSE, LOTS of experiences arise. This happens to absolutely EVERY one, in just about EVERY situation. So, in your so-called 'solitude', or NOT, there will be a COUNTLESS number of experiences ARISING, within 'you'.
Okay. So, it appears now, well to me anyway, that YOUR 'solitude' is NOT in how much you converse or mingle with "OTHERS", but in how much DISTANCE IN UNDERSTANDING you keep "your" 'self' FROM 'others'.Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 2:38 pm Nothing that arises in my solitude could ever take away or change my solitude, my solitude is always with me, while experiences that arise in my solitude.. like coming to this forum for example, talking to other people...those experiences always come and go...leaving me once again with my solitude which never leaves.
Like in a PRETENSE that "they" are REPELLED by 'you', and so you BELIEVE that they do NOT 'listen' to, NOR 'understand', 'you'.
'your', so-called, 'solitude' seems to be just IN UNDERSTANDING, ONLY, and NOT AT ALL in INTERCOURSE, AT ALL.
Re: SHE is LOVE
Huh what the fuck are you talking about now?
I thanked Gary for sharing his experience with depression.. before you even popped up on the thread. I was replying directly to Gary's comment and acknowledging the offer of resuming our discussion when he returns from work.
Did I exclude other forum members from the chat....NO I did not.
Anyone can hang-out on what I just happen to like calling our cosy little hang-out place for public chatting.
Do you have a problem with me calling this thread a cosy little hang-out place for our chats...now?
Re: SHE is LOVE
Yes VERY True. And, by the way, I KNOW children ARE ABUSED.Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 2:53 pmYou have to know that children are abused, or else that's just your belief.Age wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 2:33 pmAre you ABSOLUTELY SURE that the REASON WHY 'you' think or BELIEVE that a LOT of people would find 'you' REPELLENT is NOT because this is just the way 'you' were brought up to THINK about "your" 'self'?
OBVIOUSLY, because of the EXACT WAY that 'you' were SEVERELY ABUSED, when 'you' were younger, 'you were bound to BELIEVE that 'you' would be REPELLENT to "others".
Have you NOT YET been ABLE to SEE, CLEAR ENOUGH, that what you were "TAUGHT" to BELIEVE about "yourself" is NOT True AT ALL?
OBVIOUSLY the MORE ABUSED one was, like 'you' WERE "dontaskme", then the LOT MORE HARDER it is to SEE 'things' CLEARLY.
LOL It is VERY LOUD AND CLEAR throughout your WRITINGS.
But it is NOT an assumption AT ALL.
The PROOF is HERE for ALL to SEE and HEAR.
I KNOW you were ABUSED, namely BECAUSE of the 'thoughts', which exist within that head, and that are being EXPRESSED here.
Re: SHE is LOVE
Well you have TWISTED, and so have MISCONSTRUED, 'this' completely here.
When 'this' is read in the EXACT ORDER that it is being written, then 'this' becomes a lot MORE STRAIGHT forward.
Re: SHE is LOVE
Well, that might be how you interpet it..but it's not how I interpet it.
People can hang-around me all day long if that's what they want to do, just as long as they respect my love for solitude.
I like talking to people, but at the end of the day, I like to be left alone, completely alone, all by myself, just me. Like I've already explained to you...people come and go...but I never come and go, I stay, in my own solitude.
I never want to be in a relationship with anyone else as in being married to them, is what I mean by my interpretation of solitude. I do not want to commit to sharing my personal space with another human being in wed-lock...I like the space to be just by myself, knowing others will eventually leave to go their own way and leave me in my solitude that I enjoy.
That does not mean I desire to close or cut myself off entirely or completely from the outside world as if no one else was allowed to exist in my life. That's just bonkers, because we will always need others in our lives.
Re: SHE is LOVE
LOL
LOL
LOL
Just HOW MUCH you were ACTUALLY ABUSED can be MORE CLEARLY SEEN here now.
Maybe NOT, BUT you CAN CORRECT 'it'.
WHO and/or WHAT DOES?
This explains MORE WHY 'you' speaks SO MUCH UNTRUTH.
That is PERFECTLY OKAY. But some "others" think of, and use, a 'philosophy forum' DIFFERENTLY.Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 3:01 pm So all I can say is that whatever comes out of my mouth in the form of words is what comes out. I do not care if what comes out of my mouth makes sense or is non sense, or is true or untrue, or contradictory..I really do not give a crap, since what comes out is just what comes out.
'you' are absolutely FREE to do what 'you' WANT to do. From my perspective, 'you' are NOT 'supposed' to do absolutely ANY that you do NOT want to do.
But, and by the way, 'you' COULD CORRECT the UNTRUTHS that 'you' do TELL.
Re: SHE is LOVE
You know children have been abused only when you have witnessed the abuse taking place in realtime...that knowing becomes clear in the actual evidence that is laid before your own eyes.
You have no proof I have been abused, unless you have witnessed my abuse in realtime. Sorry, but you really do not have any proof that I have been abused.
Ok, I confess, I have been abused, your speculation was correct, I have been abused as a child, but not by my parents, who loved me and gave me a stable home. You can only know for certain that I have been abused when I confirm with you that I have been abused. Up until that confirmation is passed to you... you have no proof, ok, that's all I was getting at.
Re: SHE is LOVE
And WHY do you think that is?
And HOW MUCH of one's life do you ACCEPT feeling DEPRESSED is MEANT to be a part?
Absolutely EVERY one who feels depression, AND IS STILL ALIVE, endures it. So, there is absolutely NOTHING AT ALL special about 'you' enduring depression.
Oh, and by the way, you would NOT HAVE TO endure depression if you did NOT HAVE TO endure ABUSE, in your younger years.
The REASON depression is STILL THERE, within 'you', is BECAUSE 'you' ALLOW 'it' to REMAIN.
In fact, because 'you' have have depression for SO LONG, 'you' would ACTUALLY feel somewhat UNCOMFORTABLE without depression.
With the upbringing that you HAD TO ENDURE, then OF COURSE if you had the choice you would choose to NEVER BE BORN.
This is A GIVEN, especially considering the childhood 'you' HAD.
One can ALSO CHOOSE to LEARN and KNOW how the Mind and the brain ACTUALLY WORK.
I think I have asked you this BEFORE, but if I have NOT, then WHY have you NOT YET KILLED "yourself"?
Have you EVER CONSIDERED that they LIED to 'you' for SOME SPECIFIC REASON?
Is there NOTHING that 'you' do, which could have BETTERED those situations?
Or, is it ALWAYS the "others" doing?
Re: SHE is LOVE
That was MY POINT.Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 3:44 pmDontaskme wrote:
And one astonishing thing I have also discovered is, that my depression has never been able to kill me off, well not yet anyway.
No ..I do not think depression wants me dead...if it did, then I would be dead by now, but I'm not, I'm still alive.
That's what I was saying, my depression has not killed me off, not yet. It's not something like terminal cancer that will eventually kill you off is it.
As an 'adult' depression is of your OWN making.
It is 'you', "dontaskme", who is CONTINUING on with the depression, which was CAUSED and CREATED, by those who "brought you up".
Re: SHE is LOVE
I KNOW, and that is WHY I SAID what I SAID.Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 3:57 pmHuh what the fuck are you talking about now?
I thanked Gary for sharing his experience with depression.. before you even popped up on the thread. I was replying directly to Gary's comment and acknowledging the offer of resuming our discussion when he returns from work.
Have you EVER just ONCE considered CLARIFYING BEFORE ASSUMING?
NO.Dontaskme wrote: ↑Thu May 12, 2022 3:57 pm
Did I exclude other forum members from the chat....NO I did not.
Anyone can hang-out on what I just happen to like calling our cosy little hang-out place for public chatting.
Do you have a problem with me calling this thread a cosy little hang-out place for our chats...now?
Did you ASSUME I had?
Re: SHE is LOVE
I have no control over whether people leave me or not.
I do have complete control over staying with someone I love to the end of our lives together. When I love someone, I would never leave them, unless they started to become a threat to my life, like if they were a secret axe muderer that I had no prior knowledge of, but then became suspicious that my life might be in danger...so would try to leave, that's the only reason I would leave someone I love.
Re: SHE is LOVE
Did you read the rest of what I wrote?
What do you mean, EXACTLY, by; "at the end of the day"?
Do you LITERALLY MEAN after you are, literally, LEFT ALONE after they have all GONE, or WHILE you are talking to people you like to be left alone.
What does the word 'solitude' even mean or refer to, to you?
Ah okay. So, when 'you' use the word 'solitude' you are just referring to MARRIAGE, ONLY, correct?
Here we have a PRIME EXAMPLE of the FEAR of being REJECTED, created from a VERY ABUSIVE childhood.
So, 'your' so-called "embracing a life of solitude" just means NOT getting married, AGAIN.
Which is ANOTHER CONTRADICTION and Falsehood, but which REMAIN UNNOTICED, AS WELL.