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Re: Falling in love at first sight
Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:12 am
i think i agree with you .when i fall in love with my ex-boyfirend i think the feeling is your taking about. But now i don't know i can trust my feeling or not.
Re: Falling in love at first sight
Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 10:07 am
There is no doubt that this phenomenon exists. And the greatest thing about it is that you know it when it happens. There will be absolutely no doubt; a gigantic shock of deja vu will overcome your body and you will be able to predict the future and not even know it.
I had just recovered from my first attempt at Love which resulted in a complete disaster. Being a Man, I refused to show any emotion in my life and let no one know of my internal suffering and heartache. I had always been into music and writing so I used those things as outlets for my pain, and I became a very talented musician and songwriter, while not allowing anyone to read or hear my music.
In an English class I was taking in College, on the very first day, I arrived early and with my hood-up I sat in the back and waited for the class to begin. A sudden rush of inspiration filled my brain, my body developed goosebumps and I began to feel a sudden rush of energy. I then looked to the door and suddenly the feelings exasperated and I got a vision of deja vu in which I never felt before in my life. I saw her walk-in, make eye-contact with me and sit-down, and I thought to myself "Good God. She will never know what she just did for me. She is going to be the death of me." All of these thoughts became true to this story. I want to be clear, she was the beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes. God created this woman as perfect as I could have ever envisioned. She was the epitome of my dream girl and still, several years later, I dream of her.
From that moment on I thought of her constantly, I wrote about her always and I began having magnificently vivid dreams about her. My mind was encapsulated by her presence. For the very first time in my life I felt excited about waking up, and I became confident in myself.
About 2 weeks into the dreams I got the courage to sit next to her. And on that day I stayed silent the whole class period, and when it was time to go she put a folded note on my desk that said "To Ben" with a heart on it. I walked out of that room the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. Smiling from ear-to-ear I went to work and on break I opened the folder paper and found her doodles of the class day. Beautiful, intricate drawings that made me laugh. The shock that overwhelmed my body at this time in my life was indescribable. I repeated "Wow. This woman will never know what she has just done for me". I have a very hard time putting into words my feelings at this time. I had been lost for so long and I was experiencing something so new. I was terrified to tell her all of this.
Eventually, as expected, we began talking and exchanged phone numbers. She began telling me that she was dreaming of me and I told her that I dream of her too. I did not go into detail about the frequency, I was too frightened that I would scare her away. During this period in our time knowing each other we began conversing and studying together. After the completion of our English class together I switched my major to English and the very next semester, as luck would have it, we were scheduled for another class together. At this time we were becoming close and I eventually gathered the courage to tell her that I developed strong feelings for her. She explained she had a boyfriend but still wanted me to be in her life. She invited me to family picnics and I even went to her and her boyfriends apartment to study with her. Also, at this time she was giving me subtle messages to me, such as wearing a type of clothing I told her I enjoyed seeing her in, and wanting to spend time with me.
I was so in love that I was blinded and overwhelmed with emotions. I just wanted to be with her, I wanted to hold her, hug her, and be with her all the time. That feeling remained constant from the very first time I laid eyes on her. All of this time pursuing her I was hiding the true power of my feelings, I did not want her to know how deeply I depended on our relationship. I kept my distance, trying not to screw things up.
We eventually agreed to a dinner date after a day of studying and I was overjoyed. I thought to myself that this would be the time that I would tell her the extent of my feelings. I will explain that I loved her from the moment I saw her, and I would make an attempt to hold her hand and look her in the eyes and tell her I never felt this way about someone before. She then sent me a text message asking me if I thought if it was a good idea if we went out together. I responded with "of course, but if you do not feel comfortable with it I suppose I understand", not wanting to seem to hurt. She didn't respond the rest of the night. That night, after our conversation, my roommate found my unconscious in our driveway. When I woke up in the hospital the doctors said they had no idea what made my 24-year-old heart arrhythmic for that period of time. I literally almost died of a broken heart. This point in my life was absolutely mind-boggling. Usually a level-headed, rational person, I was all over the place with my thinking. I never told her about my hospital visit and did not return to the class we had together. The next semester we got another class together and I had to bring paper work from the hospital to my professor to get out giving speeches and participating in class, due to the fact that the stress could cause another episode.
Some time passed, I was still dreaming of her constantly, utterly depressed, and constantly checking my phone and social media sites for messages from her that never came. About a year after my hospital stay I reached out to her again and found out she had broken up with her boyfriend. We arranged a lunch meeting to talk. When she showed up I got the same feeling I got when I saw her for the first time. I was overcome with goosebumps and the euphoria overwhelmed my brain. We talked and I tried to explain my actions and why I separated myself from her. I told her that I had very strong feelings for her and did not know how to deal with them. We hugged after lunch and promised we would see each other again. I awaited contact from her which never came. I then asked her when would be the next time we could see each other. She told me not for one month, which I thought to be strange.
One week after the dinner my best friend committed suicide and I was totally heart-broken - demolished might be a better word. I returned home and had no idea what to do with myself. I sank into a deep depression and dropped out of school. I then found out that she had started a new relationship with someone else. At this point in time I was totally numb and cut off contact with her.
It has been two-years since I last spoke to her, I have had a child with another woman and I still dream about her frequently and think of her constantly. In my dreams she is always off in the distance, unreachable, but inviting me closer. I still have yet to tell her the true extent of my feelings
Love at first sight can be seen as a gift but the magical reality is that I am cursed to live the rest of my life in love with this woman, meaning I am a slave to my dreams and will have to live with the fact that I have lost her. It is the hardest thing ever.