Oh well.

[Gary Childress]

I've lived at home all my life. I've been lazy, irresponsible, and good for nothing. My dad was never proud of me. One time he mentioned quite frankly to some neighbors we had over that he would spend more money to save the family dog if it were sick than he would to save me. I've only been an embarrassment to him. He passed away last year.

I'm a turd, a mistake. I came out of the wrong hole or something when I was born. Dad used to call me "Booboo" when I was a kid. Booboo was the name of a timid and dimwitted character from a cartoon in the 1960s. That was me.

I'm an only child. It was just my dad, my mom, and me. All three of us were "turds". I'm thankful I don't have kids. I would have made a terrible father. My kid(s) would probably have had mental problems and probably been good for nothing also. That's fine. I can't change who I've been or how I got here. I can maybe change who I am but to be honest, I don't care anymore. I'm tired of being the butt of society. So I just lay down and dream of nightmares.

Yes, I have what can only be described as horrific nightmares when I go into psychosis. I suppose it's fitting.

Life is not fair. That's about all I know about this world. Maybe I'll go to hell someday. That's fine too. I don't want to go to heaven. I'd rather not meet the God who created this world. I hope Hell isn't horrible. I've had horrible delusions in my psychoses that seemed like hell. Maybe they were a prelude to where I'm going or what is going to happen to me.

So what's the point if I'm doomed? I'm beyond salvation. I don't even want to change. I've grown accustomed to being a "turd". About the only thing I can't stand in this world are compliments. I never feel like I deserve them. I generally feel more at home when people insult me or look down on me.

I don't fear God. And we all know that "God-fearing people" are God's favorites. God seems to want me to fear him. That's fine. But I don't. Oh well.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

What a vile p**** of a father. No wonder you grew up with no self esteem. There is NO such thing as a 'turd child'. ALL children are amazing.
And don't stick up for him. Good riddance.

[Walker]

As it applies to philosophy and experience, suffering and peace of mind are not incompatable.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

Right, because suffering gets you closer to jebus, as that vile old charlatan thief Mother Teresa always maintained as she flew around the world in private jets...

[Gary Childress]

What a vile p**** of a father. No wonder you grew up with no self esteem. There is NO such thing as a 'turd child'. ALL children are amazing.
And don't stick up for him. Good riddance.

I appreciate the sentiment. I wish it were the case that I shouldn't stick up for him, but he was apparently traumatized as a kid by his older cousins who would dangle and taunt him over a rattlesnake cage when they were out snake hunting. He conveyed that story to us on a few occasions. It's amazing to me that he was able to make it as far as fatherhood. He grew up on a small farm in Idaho. I'm basically one foot out of being trailer trash. He was generally kind to everyone except his family members. In reality, his only mistake was having a child I suppose. He wasn't equipped to raise one but he did his best, I guess.

[mickthinks]

Right, because suffering gets you closer to jebus, as that vile old charlatan thief Mother Teresa always maintained as she flew around the world in private jets...

Myth

[Gary Childress]

Right, because suffering gets you closer to jebus, as that vile old charlatan thief Mother Teresa always maintained as she flew around the world in private jets...

Myth

Are you saying it's a myth that Mother Teresa flew in private jets? Or are you concurring with those who believe that Christianity is based on mythology?

[vegetariantaxidermy]

Right, because suffering gets you closer to jebus, as that vile old charlatan thief Mother Teresa always maintained as she flew around the world in private jets...

Myth

Hardly. Anyone with half a brain (sorry, but you don't cut it) would question how she could get millions in donations yet her patients (victims) were lying on the floor in squalor. She could have built a modern hospital. She even witheld pain medication. Her billionaire friends would fly her on their jets. She also needed to check on her off-shore bank accounts.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

What a vile p**** of a father. No wonder you grew up with no self esteem. There is NO such thing as a 'turd child'. ALL children are amazing.
And don't stick up for him. Good riddance.

I appreciate the sentiment. I wish it were the case that I shouldn't stick up for him, but he was apparently traumatized as a kid by his older cousins who would dangle and taunt him over a rattlesnake cage when they were out snake hunting. He conveyed that story to us on a few occasions. It's amazing to me that he was able to make it as far as fatherhood. He grew up on a small farm in Idaho. I'm basically one foot out of being trailer trash. He was generally kind to everyone except his family members. In reality, his only mistake was having a child I suppose. He wasn't equipped to raise one but he did his best, I guess.

'Did his best'. Hmm. You could say that about anyone. What does it even mean? His 'best' was lower than a snake's belly. FFS. What kind of genes do you have exactly? 'Dangling over rattlesnakes'? Sounds like you have risen about a mile ABOVE the level of your degenerate father.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

And they need to leave those rattlesnakes alone. They were there long before those redneck, inbred, banjo-playing, toothless hillbillies were!

[vegetariantaxidermy]

Not that I have anything against the banjo..

[Gary Childress]

And they need to leave those rattlesnakes alone. They were there long before those redneck, inbred, banjo-playing, toothless hillbillies were!

Yeah. I never get the rattlesnake hunting thing. I try to stay away from venomous snakes. The last thing I want to do is go around actively looking for them. Dad had a phobia of snakes, unsurprisingly.

[mickthinks]

Hardly. Anyone with half a brain (sorry, but you don't cut it) would question how she could get millions in donations yet her patients (victims) were lying on the floor in squalor. She could have built a modern hospital. She even witheld pain medication. Her billionaire friends would fly her on their jets. She also needed to check on her off-shore bank accounts.

A myth doubled down on is still a myth.

[Gary Childress]

Hardly. Anyone with half a brain (sorry, but you don't cut it) would question how she could get millions in donations yet her patients (victims) were lying on the floor in squalor. She could have built a modern hospital. She even witheld pain medication. Her billionaire friends would fly her on their jets. She also needed to check on her off-shore bank accounts.

A myth doubled down on is still a myth.

I remember Christopher Hitchens doing an "expose" on Mother Teresa. It was pretty harsh. I suppose maybe she didn't deserve it. She was reported to have had only a couple of possessions to her name when she died, a bowl and some clothing I think it was. But Hitchens was particularly harsh over the way she ran her hospital in Calcutta. Apparently, they would reuse needles and other unsterile practices. Though, I don't know all the ins and outs of her work or how true Hitchen's claims were.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

Hardly. Anyone with half a brain (sorry, but you don't cut it) would question how she could get millions in donations yet her patients (victims) were lying on the floor in squalor. She could have built a modern hospital. She even witheld pain medication. Her billionaire friends would fly her on their jets. She also needed to check on her off-shore bank accounts.

A myth doubled down on is still a myth.

I remember Christopher Hitchens doing an "expose" on Mother Teresa. It was pretty harsh. I suppose maybe she didn't deserve it. She was reported to have had only a couple of possessions to her name when she died, a bowl and some clothing I think it was. But Hitchens was particularly harsh over the way she ran her hospital in Calcutta. Apparently, they would reuse needles and other unsterile practices. Though, I don't know all the ins and outs of her work or how true Hitchen's claims were.

Anyone with at least half a brain would know that she received millions in donations. What happened to them? They certainly weren't being spent on her 'patients'. India has modern hospitals.