Buried Memories

[Harbal]

The dreams are no doubt based on a natural anxiety about important things in our everyday lives that could go wrong.

I get the feeling that mine are more to do with something about myself that I'm not happy with.

But you're not sure what, exactly?

I think it's probably my subconscious telling me I need to take more control of my life. Things just tend to happen to me, rather than my making things happen, as I drift through life.

[Maia]

I get the feeling that mine are more to do with something about myself that I'm not happy with.

But you're not sure what, exactly?

I think it's probably my subconscious telling me I need to take more control of my life. Things just tend to happen to me, rather than my making things happen, as I drift through life.

Could well be then, in that case. Mine are fairly obvious, I think, that is, the ones about losing things.

[Iwannaplato]

I hope he's wrong.

And I am sure he hopes you are wrong, though my guess is he would word it in a way without the word 'hope' involved.

I think I do get the idea, because it chimes with my own experience.

[Wizard22]

When I was very young I was quite badly bitten by my best friend’s pet tortoise, and it left me with a lifelong phobia of anything that lives in a shell. Some things that happen to us in childhood can stay with us all our lives, and significantly influence our adult personalities and behaviour. In some instances of childhood trauma, it seems we can somehow block the incident from our conscious memory, but it stays buried deep in our psyche, and can manifest in all sorts of strange ways in later life. I often wonder what might have happened to me when I was a child, that I cannot remember.

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

Seriously?

[Harbal]

When I was very young I was quite badly bitten by my best friend’s pet tortoise, and it left me with a lifelong phobia of anything that lives in a shell. Some things that happen to us in childhood can stay with us all our lives, and significantly influence our adult personalities and behaviour. In some instances of childhood trauma, it seems we can somehow block the incident from our conscious memory, but it stays buried deep in our psyche, and can manifest in all sorts of strange ways in later life. I often wonder what might have happened to me when I was a child, that I cannot remember.

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

Seriously?

You are going to have to work that out for yourself.

[commonsense]

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

It’s been said that the military attracts youth from dysfunctional families. Does philosophy, or this forum, attract strange people more than other kinds?

[Wizard22]

When I was very young I was quite badly bitten by my best friend’s pet tortoise, and it left me with a lifelong phobia of anything that lives in a shell. Some things that happen to us in childhood can stay with us all our lives, and significantly influence our adult personalities and behaviour. In some instances of childhood trauma, it seems we can somehow block the incident from our conscious memory, but it stays buried deep in our psyche, and can manifest in all sorts of strange ways in later life. I often wonder what might have happened to me when I was a child, that I cannot remember.

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

As I came to midlife, I recalled many instances in my youth or even infancy when I witnessed trauma or experienced a deeply impactful event.

But most people are not self-conscious or self-aware of the causes to their own traumas, so like you say, they become 'buried'. Psychoanalysis, Psychotherapy, and Psychology in general is used to locate and identify such traumas in individuals who become hung-up or 'stuck' on past traumas. Without professional help, the general population develop unhealthy 'fixations' on past trauma which lead to various forms of mental illness. Drug addiction is a primary indication of this. Other addictions tend to follow from trauma, but not always. Addiction can be a way a person 'copes' with a series of negative life experiences, finding salvation in the pain-relief and euphoria of drugs which they do not receive from "healthy" sources in life.

As for my own fears, I would only expose that to those I trust and respect, otherwise vengeful and miserable people will merely use them against you.

Which is why it is unwise to lower your defenses to the general public. Strangers often do not have your best interests in mind.

[Iwannaplato]

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

It’s been said that the military attracts youth from dysfunctional families. Does philosophy, or this forum, attract strange people more than other kinds?

No moderation. The percentages are different from The Philosophy Forum where moderation is much more active.

I think philosophy also attracts more unique approaches to communication and thinking. I doubt forums discussing classic cars have as many odd styles of communication appearing.

[attofishpi]

When I was very young I was quite badly bitten by my best friend’s pet tortoise, and it left me with a lifelong phobia of anything that lives in a shell. Some things that happen to us in childhood can stay with us all our lives, and significantly influence our adult personalities and behaviour. In some instances of childhood trauma, it seems we can somehow block the incident from our conscious memory, but it stays buried deep in our psyche, and can manifest in all sorts of strange ways in later life. I often wonder what might have happened to me when I was a child, that I cannot remember.

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

I am probably one of the most normal people posting on the forum, as you know, but I have a rational phobia (contradiction oui) of snakes.

It might have been that hot summer of '76 I was playing as a five year old catching grass hoppers in my net, when some twat put a grass snake\slow worm down the neck of my shirt. I squirmed and shook until the thing fell to the floor. I hate snakes now. I haven't had a nightmare about snakes for some time but ya. I don't walk my dog along a local creek in summer because there are apparently loads of snakes along the trail, it's lovely this time of year though with water flowing.
This is a strange tale re snakes and dreams. Back around the age of about six I awoke to my mother telling me and my sister it was time to get up for school - my sister was on the upper bunk. Well, we BOTH refused to get out of bed - we both had had the same nightmare, that snakes covered the bedroom floor!
I was working on some brickwork, putting some mortar in a couple of years ago when I looked down at my feet I saw the head of a snake poking out from the grass - well, I almost jumped and puked...but it was a blue tongue lizard!
I have never seen a snake in the wild - which is bloody amazing for Oz.

Re people seeing ghosts - yep, God can project anything to us. I've seen "spaceships"/UFOs twice - once just a few years ago - God was trying to blow smoke up my arse. (*see, I'm not strange )

[Age]

When I was very young I was quite badly bitten by my best friend’s pet tortoise, and it left me with a lifelong phobia of anything that lives in a shell. Some things that happen to us in childhood can stay with us all our lives, and significantly influence our adult personalities and behaviour. In some instances of childhood trauma, it seems we can somehow block the incident from our conscious memory, but it stays buried deep in our psyche, and can manifest in all sorts of strange ways in later life. I often wonder what might have happened to me when I was a child, that I cannot remember.

There are many strange people posting on this forum, and I thought it might be interesting to ask if any of them could account for it.

Maybe if you NAME WHO you refer to as the 'strange people' here, THEN 'we' can HELP you in what you are looking FOR here.

Now, considering that I could be 'the strangest', of 'the strange' here, and if I was INFORMED that I am one of 'the strange', or even NOT, I can CERTAINLY ACCOUNT for EVERY view that ANY one of 'you' has OF 'me'.

See, I came to LEARN EXACTLY WHY I think and do EVERY 'thing' I do, which, coincidentally, ALSO EXPLAINS WHY EVERY one of 'you', human beings, think and do what 'you' do AS WELL.

But, considering absolutely NONE of 'you', in the days when this is being written, BELIEVE what I SAY and CLAIM here, 'you' WILL ALL, AGAIN, neither CHALLENGE NOR QUESTION me, FULLY, over my CLAIM here.

By the way, IF 'you' REALLY DO want "others" to ACCOUNT for WHY 'they' ARE 'strange', to 'you', 'you' HAVE TO FIRST POINT or SINGLE 'them' OUT, and then EXPLAIN WHY 'they' seem or ARE 'strange', TO 'you'. And, by the way, I would be MORE THAN WELCOME to be the FIRST one 'you' POINT OUT and EXPLAIN WHY 'I' AM STRANGE, TO 'you'.

[Age]

That sounds interesting; do you want to say some more about it? I have come to doubt that people actually do believe some of the things they think they believe. God, for example; I have a suspicion that no one really does, deep down, believe in God. Don't ask what I mean by, "deep down".

And I noticed that IC doubts that you are actually an atheist, which makes the whole discussion rather funny.

I can assert with some certainty that I have had official beliefs that were, in the main, not my belief.
I'm trying to think of an example I feel OK about sharing.
While I am mulling, let me jump to an abstract third person example:
I think we have all met people who assert they are not sexist, or not racist, or are a middle class person who thinks the proletariat are more apt leaders or say they are optimistic or trust people,
but we observe their behavior and they treat women or other races disrespectfully or whine about how hopeless it all is.

We question they self-assessment around what belief they actually have.

Their belief might be something they want to have or think they should have, but actually they act like they have, and presumably unconsciously have, an opposed guiding belief.

It doesn't have to be binary. If we notice even a strong contradictory pattern of behavior this doesn't mean they only have a belief opposed to their official belief. It can be a mix. But I think most of us have encountered people where at the very least they ALSO believe something negative about women, latinos, X, which doesn't fit with their official position.

And even many theists for example will admit to doubt. And many saints have dark night's of the soul where doubt predominates, in fact certainly there is no God or hope dominates. I think the whole notion of simple assertions about continuous belief are pretty silly in situ.

OK, for me. I suppose I believed that I knew myself very well, when I was in my 20s and early 30s.

AND, 'you' STILL DO 'now', when you wrote this.

However, 'you' are NO CLOSER AT ALL to being able to ANSWER the QUESTION, 'Who am 'I'?', now, than 'you' were, BACK THEN, correct?

I knew what my problems were and what my needs were.

LOL

'you' do NOT even KNOW what YOUR 'problems' are 'now', when this is being written, NOR even what 'your' 'needs' are 'now', neither.

Unless, OF COURSE, 'you' would like to try to PROVE me Wrong here, 'now'.

Not only was this not true.

Is 'it' REALLY true?

If yes, then what WERE your 'problems' AND your 'needs', back then?

Also, you are coming across as one who BELIEVES they KNOW 'things', BUT the BELIEF, itself, is NOT even correct.

IOW not only was I incorrect in my assessment of the situation.

EXACTLY like, and the SAME, as 'your assessment of the situation' 'now', in the days when this is being written, IS INCORRECT, as well.

Or, do 'you' BELIEVE that 'nowadays' IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT and that 'nowadays' your OWN assessment is, absolutely, correct?

I can see how much I avoided, very effectively, looking at certain patterns in my life, and also avoided certain situations.

Can you SEE how you are DOING the EXACT SAME 'thing' 'now', when this is being written, or you STILL can NOT RECOGNIZE 'this'?

By the way, just how MUCH you are STILL avoiding certain patterns in 'your life', and also avoiding 'certain situations', is VERY OBVIOUS and CLEAR TO 'us'.

IOW there was a pattern of intellegent (if not wise) avoidance of situations and exploration that allowed me to keep my official belief about myself.

What can be CLEARLY SEEN here and OBSERVED is this one STILL manages to SLIP IN the 'intelligent' word, ABOUT ''itself'', without COMPLETELY 'criticizing' ''itself", 'lowering', NOR the 'putting of "itself" down' to a standard that 'it' does NOT want to LOOK AT, NOR DISCUSS.

Which is just ANOTHER example of AVOIDANCE that this one USES.

And which, AGAIN, 'it' would label as 'being intelligent' form.

So, a part of me knew that this belief was very fragile and guided a clever avoidance of anything that might reveal this fragility and an underlying terror and belief that I was a mess and had huge gaps in self-knowledge.

Which 'you' OBVIOUSLY STILL HAVE.

By the way, what this one has just DONE here is what ALL DO when I QUESTION and CHALLENGE 'them' ABOUT 'their BELIEFS'. That is; they REFUSE to LAY OUT 'their CURRENT BELIEF/S', but WILL CHOOSE one, FROM days gone past, IN the BELIEF that they had ALREADY REMOVED or LET GO OF 'that BELIEF'.

And the VERY REASON WHY NONE of 'them' WILL ADMIT 'their CURRENT BELIEFS' is BECAUSE 'they' have A VERY STRONG FEAR, which exists BECAUSE of A QUESTIONING and of DOUBT ABOUT, 'What IF my CURRENT BELIEF is ACTUALLY False, Wrong, or Incorrect?'

A bit vague and unfortunatel a very broad assessment, but I think you will get the idea. I'll try to think of something more concrete, like I believed in ghosts, say, and realists I didn't. Or didn't believe in ghosts but really I did.

And, what WILL COME-TO-LIGHT is absolutely NOTHING will ACTUALLY BE SHARED. Other than, OF COURSE, MORE of these types of HUMILIATION and of RIDICULE OF "others" who do NOT HAVE, HOLD, NOR SHARE the SAME BELIEFS that this one DOES HAVE.

[Age]

Going into more detail, since this is an interesting area of exploration, my claustrophobia, although I hesitate to use that word as it's not particularly pronounced in everyday life, also manifests in dreams. I sometimes have dreams about being inside tunnels, for example. There's usually some sort of gap, too, that I have to climb across, or rather down, since it's always descending. The actual dreams vary in detail, but the feeling is always the same, and in that sense, they are recurring. There's always something odd about the angles too, either in the shape of the enclosed space itself, or in the configuration of the gap and how I have to climb over it. That's actually quite difficult to explain and the layout is not usually something that could exist in the real world.

I wouldn't call these dreams nightmares, though. I don't really have nightmares, in the sense of a dream that actually scares me. They do, of course, make me feel uneasy, and tend to come in bursts, too. I might go for ages without having one then a few come along in quick succession. This is also true of dreams in general.

I've had these types of dreams for as long as I can remember, so it's always possible that they derive from some specific incident from childhood that I've completely forgotten about.

I am curios as to if you were born visually blind or did that come about later on in your life?

Reading that you had a pretty strong fear of enclosed spaces when you were little, surprised me somewhat, as I had always 'envisioned' fearing 'enclosed spaces' or being 'somewhat claustrophobic' would be associated fairly strongly with the 'visual sense'.

Sure, 'feeling squashed' in 'physically tight situations' is what the word 'claustrophobia' is in relation to, but, for example, if 'the body' itself is 'feeling squashed' by 'other human bodies' around it', but there is no 'visual sight nor visual clues', then in 'that situation' one might not actually be in an 'enclosed space' AT ALL but is just being 'squashed' by a few 'other bodies'. So, am I just wondering is it the 'feeling' of 'that physical body' being 'squashed', or 'pressed against', which causes the 'pretty strong fear of enclosed spaces', or is there some imagined sense that 'the space', itself, is enclosed?

Which, if you can NOT recall any specific incident where you were 'trapped, or felt 'trapped', if 'claustrophobia' is the result of some forgotten 'thing', which might have happened within the womb. See, there is NO 'visual sight NOR visual clues' within the womb, I imagine, but there is CERTAINLY a 'physical body' with 'nerve endings', which if 'it' was NOT able to 'turn around' or 'move' in some way might 'feel TRAPPED', which then might have an everlasting effect on 'that body'.

[Harbal]

By the way, IF 'you' REALLY DO want "others" to ACCOUNT for WHY 'they' ARE 'strange', to 'you', 'you' HAVE TO FIRST POINT or SINGLE 'them' OUT, and then EXPLAIN WHY 'they' seem or ARE 'strange', TO 'you'. And, by the way, I would be MORE THAN WELCOME to be the FIRST one 'you' POINT OUT and EXPLAIN WHY 'I' AM STRANGE, TO 'you'.

I don't really want to point out individuals who need to account for themselves, because I don't think being identified and named as being odd would put them in the right frame of mind to come and explain the reason for it. So, Age, I don't feel able to point you out, but if you want to point yourself out, I think many of us would be interested to hear what you have to tell us.

[Age]

That sounds interesting; do you want to say some more about it? I have come to doubt that people actually do believe some of the things they think they believe. God, for example; I have a suspicion that no one really does, deep down, believe in God. Don't ask what I mean by, "deep down".

And I noticed that IC doubts that you are actually an atheist, which makes the whole discussion rather funny.

I hope he's wrong.

Either you BELIEVE God exists or DISBELIEVE God exists, or neither.

Now, if you DISBELIEVE God exists, and 'that' IS the definition that you USE for the 'atheist' word, then 'you', "harbal", are what some call "an atheist".

But, if you do NOT DISBELIEVE God exists, then 'you' NOT what is sometimes called "an atheist".

So, WHY do you HOPE that what "immanuel can" DOUBTS, is wrong, when 'you' can just TELL 'us' what IS ACTUALLY True, Right, Accurate, and Correct here, INSTEAD?

OK, for me. I suppose I believed that I knew myself very well, when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I knew what my problems were and what my needs were. Not only was this not true. IOW not only was I incorrect in my assessment of the situation. I can see how much I avoided, very effectively, looking at certain patterns in my life, and also avoided certain situations. IOW there was a pattern of intellegent (if not wise) avoidance of situations and exploration that allowed me to keep my official belief about myself. So, a part of me knew that this belief was very fragile and guided a clever avoidance of anything that might reveal this fragility and an underlying terror and belief that I was a mess and had huge gaps in self-knowledge.

A bit vague and unfortunatel a very broad assessment, but I think you will get the idea.

I think I do get the idea, because it chimes with my own experience.

AND, EVERY one in adulthood would SAY, 'I ONCE BELIEVED 'things' that I do NOT now'.

BUT, while 'you', people, do NOT bring your CURRENT BELIEFS OUT, for ALL TO LOOK OUT and DISCUSS, then, ESSENTIALLY, it takes FAR LONGER for them to CHANGE, like your PREVIOUS ones HAVE.

[Age]

Going into more detail, since this is an interesting area of exploration, my claustrophobia, although I hesitate to use that word as it's not particularly pronounced in everyday life, also manifests in dreams. I sometimes have dreams about being inside tunnels, for example. There's usually some sort of gap, too, that I have to climb across, or rather down, since it's always descending. The actual dreams vary in detail, but the feeling is always the same, and in that sense, they are recurring. There's always something odd about the angles too, either in the shape of the enclosed space itself, or in the configuration of the gap and how I have to climb over it. That's actually quite difficult to explain and the layout is not usually something that could exist in the real world.

I wouldn't call these dreams nightmares, though. I don't really have nightmares, in the sense of a dream that actually scares me. They do, of course, make me feel uneasy, and tend to come in bursts, too. I might go for ages without having one then a few come along in quick succession. This is also true of dreams in general.

I've had these types of dreams for as long as I can remember, so it's always possible that they derive from some specific incident from childhood that I've completely forgotten about.

I have dreams where I am late and have a lot to do, and I have to be somewhere but can't find my vehicle, which is usually a truck -I used to drive for a living- and I'm just floundering about, getting nowhere. Like you say, not nightmares, but they leave me feeling uncomfortable. I feel those dreams are telling me something about myself, but I can only half figure out what it is.

What IS 'the half' that have so far figured out?

I don't think they have anything to do with any childhood incident, though.

Maybe not, but the reason WHY 'you' ARE what 'you' ARE 'now' IS SOLELY BECAUSE of 'your' 'past experiences' or incidents.