I suffer of course, life for a conscious entity is to know the sensation of pain and torment of a living entity. It is to repeatedly watch your loved ones die, or have them watch you die, or watch your pets die, and have them watch you die. What good does 'hope' do when all your life is spent watching other things die, like everything dies, and you are fully aware that the dead never return to you, never never ever, and that all you have of them are memories, that feel like empty blank screens of nothingness, because that's all memories are, that's all life is, just empty memories. Everyday you are losing everything in your life in every moment. Everything you attach to out of love for it, will leave you, or you will leave it. Life for a conscious being is one big stupid losing game from start to finish, nothing ever belonged to you, ever.
What the good is HOPE..what the heck does that even mean....Hope for what?..
What's the point of being alive, just to know you are going to die, and that your entire life meant nothing because you were going to lose it anyway. What's the point in being alive just to watch everything die including yourself, and even worse, to see that some deaths are really long winded, agonising and torturous. I could go on to write a million page book on all the horrific reasons not to be alive, but I haven't got the time right now, so I'll leave it there for now.
See, when I hear things like this, which I often do...Jordan Peterson says the same thing.
JP says things like....(Be grateful for your suffering because it's for the greater good) and I'm like, No, why should I have to pay the price of suffering just so that I could maybe experience one minute of goodness. What is goodness anyway, but a fleeting sensation. Am I supposed to be grateful for a fleeting moment of good sensation, like oh I'm feeling so good right now, this is rather pleasurable, and certainly worth all my pain and torture and suffering, just because I have the good grace to be grateful, because if I hadn't have experienced the torture, I would never have gotten to the part of feeling HOPE that things were going to get better, and be better forever, and that suffering will be a thing of the past, and I will never have to experience such pain and suffering ever again...yeah, thank god for that word HOPE.
What!
So where is the universal goodness of humanity today? ...it's obviously just some made-up fantasy like that belief in a ''Soul''
that part of the individual which partakes of divinity and often is considered to survive the death of the body.
Oh well that's alright then, at least we all have a SOUL ...that survives the torture and pain and suffering of being a conscious living organism, oh that's alright then, lets all be fine about being alive then, it's all good, because when my body dies, my ''soul'' survives, and it goes on to live happily ever after.............so just shut up and enjoy your suffering.
..............But live where? where is it? what does it look like? where does a soul reside after the death of it's body? what does the soul feel, what does the soul think, where does the soul exist? how does it exist without a body? does the soul just float around in space saying hey everybody down on earth, look at me, I've got no body to hang out with, aren't I the lucky one?
On my God...this being alive experience is insane.