Quote of the day

[iambiguous]

Death

“She had always found villains more exciting than heroes. They had ambition, passion. They made the stories happen. Villains didn't fear death. No, they wrapped themselves in death like suits of armor! As she inhaled the school's graveyard smell, Agatha felt her blood rush. For like all villains, death didn't scare her. It made her feel alive.” Soman Chainani

Blah, blah, blah?
Let's start with the villians here.

“In the midst of life, we are in death.” Agatha Christie

A murder mystery let's call it.

“Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death.” Milan Kundera

Do they know that?

“The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.” Bill Hicks

Start here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... SjDNeMaRoX

“I thought about all of the things that everyone ever says to each other, and how everyone is going to die, whether it's in a millisecond, or days, or months, or 76.5 years, if you were just born. Everything that's born has to die, which means our lives are like skyscrapers. The smoke rises at different speeds, but they're all on fire, and we're all trapped.” Jonathan Safran Foer

Praise the Lord?

“Life is too short when you think of the length of death.” Sean Mangan

And getting shorter all the time.

[iambiguous]

Fight Club

Narrator: Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They’re single-serving friends.

Next up: single-serving friends here.

Narrator: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Well, not counting God, of course.

Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don’t do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn’t believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.

Start here: https://youtu.be/YZUa6M-3dBQ?si=ck7CyUxkJFcffoDd

Tyler [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane]: You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Narrator: So you can breathe.
Tyler: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you’re taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It’s all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
Narrator: That’s, um… That’s an interesting theory.

Just out of curiosity, is it true?

[the Narrator’s apartment has just been blown to pieces]
Narrator: I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was close to being complete.
Tyler: Shit man, now it’s all gone. Do you know what a duvet is?
Narrator: It’s a comforter…
Tyler: It’s a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?
Narrator: …Consumers?
Tyler: Right. We are consumers. We’re the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Narrator: Martha Stewart.
Tyler: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha’s polishing the brass on the Titanic. It’s all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

No, really, is it all going down?

Tyler: The things you own end up owning you.

Not counting fight club, of course.

[iambiguous]

Fight Club

Narrator: After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.

Next up: our fights here?

Narrator: Everywhere we went, we were sizing things up. I felt sorry for guys packed into gyms, trying to look like how Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger said they should. Is that what a man looks like?

Too close to call?

Narrator: I’m on my way out.
Marla: Me too. I’ve got a stomach full of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much. This isn’t a for-real suicide thing.This is probably a cry -for-help thing. Do you wanna wait and hear me describe death? Do you wanna listen and see if my spirit can use a phone? Have you ever heard a death rattle before? Do you think it will live up to its name? Or will it just be a death…hairball? Prepare to evacuate soul.

Anyone here actually know?

Marla: My God. I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.

Pick two:
1] the narrator
2] tyler

Tyler: I’ll say this about Marla. At least she’s trying to hit bottom.
Narrator: And I’m not?
Tyler: Stickin’ feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

That's still true, I suspect.

Tyler: Once the tallow hardens, you skim off a layer of glycerin. Add nitric acid, you’ve got nitroglycerin. Then add sodium nitrate and sawdust, you’ve got dynamite. Yeah, with enough soap, one could blow up just about anything.

You first?

[iambiguous]

Song lyrics

Eagles:
"they call it paradise
I don't know why
Call some place paradise
Kiss it goodbye"

Or cash in on it yourself, of course.

Bob Dylan
"There's seven people dead
On a South Dakota farm
There's seven people dead
On a South Dakota farm
Somewheres in the distance
There's seven new people born"

Next up: eternal recurrence?

Neil Young
"And there ain't nothin' like a friend
Who can tell you you're just pissin' in the wind"

Unless, of course, they're pissing in it right alongside you.

Neil Young
"I never knew a man could tell so many lies
He had a different story for every set of eyes
How can he remember who he's talking to?
'Cause I know it ain't me, and hope it isn't you"

Any liars here?

Don Henley
"Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said, 'Don't look back. You can never look back'"

Let alone go back and change it.

Don Henley
"You see a lot more meanness in the city
It's the kind that eats you up inside
Hard to come away with anything that feels like dignity
Hard to get home with any pride
These days a man makes you somethin'
And you never see his face
But there is no hiding place"

Of course that's not true. And, if anything, it's getting worse.

[iambiguous]

Fight Club

Tyler: Now, ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. You know why?
Narrator: No.
Tyler: Human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Bodies burnt, water seeped through the wood ashes to create lye.
[holds up a bottle]
Tyler: This is lye - the crucial ingredient. The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. May I see your hand, please?
[Tyler licks his lips until they’re gleaming wet - he takes the Narrator’s hand and kisses the back of it]
Narrator: What is this?
Tyler: This…
[pours the lye on the Narrator’s hand]
Tyler: This is chemical burn. It will hurt more than you’ve ever been burned before. You will have a scar.

Too?

Tyler: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war…our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

Of course, once the workers of the world unite, all of that is moot.

Tyler: You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis.

What aren't we here?

Tyler: Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.

Of course, our fight club here is, well, you tell me.

Tyler: Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.

Another warning [of sorts]: the fucking deep state!

Narrator: Bob is dead, they shot him in the head!
Tyler Durden: You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.

Not much that can't be applied to.

[iambiguous]

Philosophy

“Regardless of the staggering dimensions of the world about us, the density of our ignorance, the risks of catastrophes to come, and our individual weakness within the immense collectivity, the fact remains that we are absolutely free today if we choose to will our existence in its finiteness, a finiteness which is open on the infinite.” Simone de Beauvoir

Absolutely free? Right.

“To study philosophy is nothing but to prepare one’s self to die.” Marcus Tullius Cicero

If that's even possible, of course.

“There isnt always an explanation for everything.” Ernest Hemingway

And it's certainly not always yours.

“As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it.” Lao Tzu

Before everyone else does?

“God is an ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance.” Neil DeGrasse Tyson

At least until He returns.

“Everyone is the other and no one is himself.” Martin Heidegger

Or, nowadays, herself?

[iambiguous]

In a comment on why six actors were employed to portray different facets of Dylan’s personality, Haynes wrote:

“The minute you try to grab hold of Dylan, he’s no longer where he was. He’s like a flame: If you try to hold him in your hand you’ll surely get burned. Dylan’s life of change and constant disappearances and constant transformations makes you yearn to hold him, and to nail him down. And that’s why his fan base is so obsessive, so desirous of finding the truth and the absolutes and the answers to him – things that Dylan will never provide and will only frustrate…Dylan is difficult and mysterious and evasive and frustrating, and it only makes you identify with him all the more as he skirts identity.” wiki

I'm Not There

Announcer: Greenwich Village, once the in spot for beatnik jazz and bebop, is today home to the popular folk music fad, a do-it-yourself musical expression that’s attracted youngsters from all across the nation. For them, these homespun songs of the working man express a truth and candor sorely lacking in today’s growing consumer society.
Reporter: Why do you prefer folk music to other types of music?
Young woman: Because it’s honest. Commercial songs, pop music can’t be honest. It’s controlled and censored by the people who run society and make the rules.

Enough said or don't get me started?

Claire: I would like to know what is at the center of your world.
Robbie: Well, I’m 22, I guess I would say me.

And then, for some, all the way to the grave.

Jack: All they see is the cause and how they use people for their cause. And now they’re trying to use me for something. They want me to…want me to carry a picket sign and have my picture taken, be a good little n*****, you know, and not mess up their little game. All they want from me is finger-pointing songs. I only got ten fingers.

Next up: going electric.

Reporter: Mr. Quinn, Mr. Quinn! Do you have a word for your fans?
Jude: Uh, astronaut.

Of course, he's only paraphrasing Andy.

Reporter: How many would you say are protest singers today? That is, people who protest against the social state we live in?
Jude: Uh, how many?
Reporter: Yes. Are there many?
Jude: Yeah, um…I-I think there’s about 136.

Of course, he's only paraphrasing Andy.

Keenan: Mr. Quinn, Keenan Jones from Culture Beat. As someone symbolic of the protest movement among young people, some have questioned, given your latest recordings, whether or not you still care about people as you once did.
Jude: Yeah, but, you know, we all have our own definitions of all those words. “Care” and “people…”
Keenan: Well, I think we all know the definition of people.
Jude: Do we?

Next up: we define a definition here.

[iambiguous]

Free Will

“Was this a betrayal, or was it an act of courage? Perhaps both. Neither one involves forethought: such things take place in an instant, in an eyeblink. This can only be because they have been rehearsed by us already, over and over, in silence and darkness; in such silence, such darkness, that we are ignorant of them ourselves. Blind but sure-footed, we step forward as if into a remembered dance.” Margaret Atwood

Next up: muscle memory.

“Were these boys in their right minds? Here were two boys with good intellect, one eighteen and one nineteen. They had all the prospects that life could hold out for any of the young; one a graduate of Chicago and another of Ann Arbor; one who had passed his examination for the Harvard Law School and was about to take a trip in Europe,--another who had passed at Ann Arbor, the youngest in his class, with three thousand dollars in the bank. Boys who never knew what it was to want a dollar; boys who could reach any position that was to boys of that kind to reach; boys of distinguished and honorable families, families of wealth and position, with all the world before them. And they gave it all up for nothing, for nothing! They took a little companion of one of them, on a crowded street, and killed him, for nothing, and sacrificed everything that could be of value in human life upon the crazy scheme of a couple of immature lads.
Now, your Honor, you have been a boy; I have been a boy. And we have known other boys. The best way to understand somebody else is to put yourself in his place.
Is it within the realm of your imagination that a boy who was right, with all the prospects of life before him, who could choose what he wanted, without the slightest reason in the world would lure a young companion to his death, and take his place in the shadow of the gallows?
...No one who has the process of reasoning could doubt that a boy who would do that is not right.
How insane they are I care not, whether medically or legally. They did not reason; they could not reason; they committed the most foolish, most unprovoked, most purposeless, most causeless act that any two boys ever committed, and they put themselves where the rope is dangling above their heads....
Why did they kill little Bobby Franks?
Not for money, not for spite; not for hate. They killed him as they might kill a spider or a fly, for the experience. They killed him because they were made that way. Because somewhere in the infinite processes that go to the making up of the boy or the man something slipped, and those unfortunate lads sit here hated, despised, outcasts, with the community shouting for their blood.
. . . I know, Your Honor, that every atom of life in all this universe is bound up together. I know that a pebble cannot be thrown into the ocean without disturbing every drop of water in the sea. I know that every life is inextricably mixed and woven with every other life. I know that every influence, conscious and unconscious, acts and reacts on every living organism, and that no one can fix the blame. I know that all life is a series of infinite chances, which sometimes result one way and sometimes another. I have not the infinite wisdom that can fathom it, neither has any other human brain” Clarence Darrow

Unless, of course, he's wrong. Unless, of course, he was never able not to be.

“Research suggests that what we think of as free will is largely an illusion: much of the time, we are simply operating on automatic pilot, and the way we think and act – and how well we think and act on the spur of the moment – are a lot more susceptible to outside influences than we realize.” Malcolm Gladwell

Largely an illusion? Those "internal components" able to to sustain the illusions of the free will determinists among us?

“. . . it is presumptuous in me to wish to choose my path, because I cannot tell which path is best for me. I must leave it to the Lord, Who knows me, to lead me by the path which is best for me, so that in all things His will may be done.” Teresa of Ávila

Next up: what the Lord leaves it up to.

“We're a government that believes in everybody having the illusion of free will.” Anthony Burgess

A government of, by and for...nature?

[iambiguous]

I'm Not There

Jude [reading about himself in the paper]: God, I’m glad I’m not me.

He who is so good with words and at keeping things vague.

Jude: But you never know how the past will turn out.

If only all the way to the grave.

Allen Ginsberg: [to Jude] Maybe you sold out to God.

The God of Abraham I'm guessing.

Jude: Who cares what I think? I’m not the president. I’m not some shepherd. I’m just a storyteller, man. It’s all I am.
Keenan: Well, certainly. But as someone who once cared deeply, as a storyteller, for social justice, equality…certainly you still care as a human being.
Jude: Well, why?
Keenan: Why?
Jude: I mean, what do you care? If I care, or I don’t care, what’s it to you? All right, what if I said I never cared about, you know, folk music? About, you know, protest songs? It was all about jumping into a scene. You know, I was never gonna stay there.

Anyone know where's he's not going to stay now?

Keenan: You know, I am convinced of one thing. You either do care about nothing at all, or tremendously much that people think so.
Jude: Listen, I know more about you, right, than you will ever know about me. You think I give a crumpet what you write in your lousy paper? Now, I don’t need to look to someone else, man, to tell me I’m good. Slaughter me, for all I care. I refuse to be hurt.

They’re both right of course. Unless, of course, I'm wrong about that.

Coco: Judey knows who Angelina is, don’t you, Judey?
Jude: If you’re asking if I remember your little pussy, of course I do.
Coco: Charming.
Jude: She has the sweetest little pussy. If you don’t count the teeth.

And the hairballs?

[iambiguous]

I'm Not There

Woman: You know, people said you could be a real cocksucker.
Jude [really fucked up]: Well, it’s not what goes into a man’s mouth, babe, that defiles it.
Woman: No, it’s what comes out.
Jude: Good and evil were invented by people trapped in SCENES!

Pick three:
1] historical
2] cultural
3] experiential

Jude: Doesn’t really matter, you know, what kind of nasty names people invent for the music. But, uh, folk music is just a word, you know, that I can’t use anymore. What I’m talking about is traditional music, right, which is to say it’s mathematical music, it’s based on hexagons. But all these songs about, you know, roses growing out of people’s brains and lovers who are really geese and swans are turning into angels - I mean, you know, they’re not going to die. They’re not folk music songs. They’re political songs. They’re already dead. You’d think that these traditional music people would - would gather that mystery, you know, is a traditional fact, you know, seeing as they’re all so full of mystery.
Keenan: And contradictions.
Jude: Yeah, contradictions.
Keenan: And chaos.
Jude: Yes, it’s chaos, clocks, and watermelons - you know, it’s - it’s everything. These people actually think I have some kind of, uh… fantastic imagination. It gets very, uh, lonesome. But traditional music is just, uh… it’s too unreal to die. It doesn’t need to be protected. You know, I mean, in that music is the only true valid death you can feel today, you know, off a record player. But like everything else in great demand, people try to own it. Has to do with, like, uh, the purity thing. I think its meaninglessness is holy. Everybody knows I’m not a folk singer.

On the other hand...nowadays...nobody seems to care.

Billy the Kid: People are always talking about freedom. Freedom to live a certain way, without being kicked around. Course the more you live a certain way, the less it feels like freedom. Me, uhm, I can change during the course of a day. I wake and I’m one person, when I go to sleep I know for certain I’m somebody else. I don’t know who I am most of the time. It’s like you got yesterday, today and tomorrow, all in the same room. There’s no telling what can happen.

Uh, fractured and fragmented, Bob?

Jude: You know, saying 'cause of peace', it's like saying, 'hunk of butter', you know, I don't want you to listen to anybody who wants you to believe is dedicated to the hunk and not the butter.
Reporter: I'm not sure I follow.
Jude: You know, I didn't come out of some cereal box. There's no one out there who's gonna be converted by a song.

Especially this one: https://youtu.be/t6NqoaW2fzY?si=ki-l5RP0AZVBUBdG

Jude: [to a crucifix] How does it feel?

...being both God and the Son of God?

Keenan Jones: Yes, I was going to ask Mr. Quinn why he insists on putting us and the rest of the world on so? Some might be persuaded to doubt his sincerity.
Jude: Well, who said I was sincere?
Keenan Jones: Are you saying you're not sincere?
Jude: No more than you, you know? No more sincere than you are. See, you just want me to say what you want me to say.

Here? Double it at least.

[iambiguous]

Lyrics

Don McLean
What do you know? You know just what you perceive
What can you show? Nothing of what you believe
And as you grow, each thread of life that you leave
Will spin around your deeds and dictate your needs
As you sell your soul and you sow your seeds
And you wound yourself and your loved one bleeds
And your habits grow, and your conscience feeds
On all that you thought you should be
I never thought this could happen to me

Sounds about right, doesn't it?

U2
In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows, they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim

Bono in Vegas, uh, selling out?

Ten Years After
Life is going around in circles
Wonder will it ever end
If I die, baby, will you miss me
Or just find another friend
Does it matter what I do
Live life right or bear a grudge?
Does it matter what I do
Is there anyone to judge?

Don't look at me.

Bruce Springsteen
In the wee, wee hours your mind gets hazy
Radio relay towers lead me to my baby
The radio’s jammed up with talk show stations
It’s just talk, talk, talk, talk, till you lose your patience
Mister state trooper, please don’t stop me…mister state trooper please don’t stop me

Born in the USA.

Lyle Lovett
I park my pontiac
Down the hill out in back
Late every afternoon
With a coke and a cigarette
And all of the neighbors there
They see a nice old man

And the girl there across the street
She sits on her front porch swing
She never realized
What I told her with my eyes
How back in the second war
I killed twenty German boys
With my own bare hands

And the woman inside my house
She won’t stop talking
She never says a thing
She just keeps talking
And I might just leave her still
After the sun goes down
And I smoke this cigarette

Another failure to communicate?

Timbuk 3
Presidential elections are planned distractions
To divert attention from the action behind the scenes
like a game of chess when the house is a mess
Or a petty money squabble when your marriage is in trouble
Or a football game when there’s rioting in the streets

It’s just another movie, another song and dance
Another poor sucker who never had a chance
It’s just another captain going down with his ship
Just another jerk, taking pride in his work

Just another post?

[iambiguous]

Two hours dancing then a ten minute break. Over and over and over again in excess of a 1,000 consecutive hours. That’s 40 to 50 days.

Hey, nobody forces them right? Just like nobody forces thousands of working class men and women to volunteer to serve in the Army when being “warriors” are the only decent “jobs” in town.

This is capitalism at its most creative: turning human misery for some into entertainment for others. The folks in the stands actually throw pennies out to the contestants they like. Or companies “sponser” them.

They Shoot Horses Don't They?

Sailor: What I mean is when you think about it, cattle ain’t got it much worse than us.
Gloria: They got it better. There’s always somebody feeding them.
Sailor: Sure. Stuffin’ 'em up good for the slaughter pen. Right down the chute and some big dumb bohunk is standing there with a sledgehammer.
Gloria: But they don’t know what’s gonna happen. That puts 'em one up on us, don’t it?

No getting around that. And probably never will be.

Rocky: Tough rules but these are tough times. In the words of our great leader, Herbert Hoover, prosperity is just around the corner.

Either that or a great depression.

Gloria: What’s the use of having a kid unless you got enough dough to take care of it?
Ruby: Folks can’t stop having babies 'cause they don’t got no money.
Gloria: You intend to keep it?
Ruby: I could never get…Jimmy wants the baby.
Gloria: Yeah. Why not drop another sucker into this mess.

And two more to take him.

Robert: You wanna sleep some?
Gloria: I’m too tired to sleep.
Robert: Sailor says you gotta go a long time, maybe 500 hours, before you can get so you can sleep while you’re still moving.

Next up: you get so you can sleep while you're still posting.

Rocky: You know something, Turkey, my father never made it out of the fourth grade. He knew people. But he didn’t know his ass from his elbow. You know what he was? He was a faith healer. I used to travel the circuit with him. I was the one he healed. I was the shill, to set the crowd up. “Walk, my boy. When I lay my hands on you, you will walk.” You will walk. Sodden old bastard. He thought it was him they believed in, but it was me.[/b

If you get his drift. And I doubt many of the dancers did.

Dancer [watching men paint white lines on the floor]: What are they doing it for?
Partner: It’s not for fun. You can bet on that.

Not even close in fact.

[iambiguous]

Logic

“If reason ruled the world would history even exist?” Ryszard Kapuściński

How might that be established?
If only theoretically.

“Everybody knows that Aristotelian two-value logic is fucked.” Philip K. Dick

Actually, I only suspected it.

“It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.” Joseph Joubert

On average?

“I think it’s important to reason from first principles rather than by analogy. The normal way we conduct our lives is we reason by analogy. With analogy we are doing this because it’s like something else that was done, or it is like what other people are doing. With first principles you boil things down to the most fundamental truths…and then reason up from there.” Elon Musk

I'll take a wild ass guess here: his first principles.

“What truly is logic? Who decides reason? It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reason can be found.” John Nash

Said the "paranoid schizophrenic"?

“Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore-
Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.” Ambrose Bierce

Bring your own clouds.

[iambiguous]

They Shoot Horses Don't They?

Rocky: The derby! Ten solid minutes of rack and ruin!

Though not from where he's standing.

Rocky: …these wonderful folks deserve your cheers because each one of them is fighting down pain, exhaustion, weariness, struggling to keep going, battling to win, and isn’t that the American way?!

If only until the dancers of the world unite.

Rocky: Do you think our customers are laying out two bits a throw just to watch you poke your head up into the sunlight? Or Alice look like she just stepped out of a beauty parlor? They don’t give a damned who wins…they just want to see a little misery out there so they can maybe feel a little better.

Now that is the American way!

Nurse: Can I get you something for your feet?
Gloria: How about a saw.

Gallows humor let's call it.

Alice: Someone screamed.
Rocky: That was you, Alice.

Again?

Gloria: What are you going to to do, put us in cages and let them throw peanuts at us.
Rocky: Now, all kidding aside.
Gloria: Who’s kidding?

Next up: the Gong Show.

[iambiguous]

Robert Louis Stevenson from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

A moment before I had been safe of all men's respect, wealthy, beloved - the cloth laying for me in the dining room at home; and now I was the common quarry of mankind, hunted, houseless, a known murderer, thrall to the gallows.

Pick one:
1] God's will
2] shit happens

You start a question, and it's like starting a stone. You sit quietly on the top of a hill; and away the stone goes, starting others; and presently some bland old bird (the last you would have thought of) is knocked on the head in his own back garden and the family have to change their name. No sir, I make it a rule of mine: the more it looks like Queer Street, the less I ask.

Ask me to explain that. Or how about if I ask you?

I was slowly losing hold of my original and better self, and becoming slowly incorporated with my second and worse.

As opposed to being fractured and fragmented?

There was something strange in my sensations, indescribably new and incredibly sweet. I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be tenfold more wicked and the thought delighted me like wine.

He means whiskey of course.

This, as I take it, was because all human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil: and Edward Hyde, alone in the ranks of mankind, was pure evil.

What a...novel idea?

Both sides of me were in dead earnest.

Actually, I'd settle for rhat myself.