I resign

[Skepdick]

There's nothing in this world I can say that would amount to anything, mean anything or count for anything. Philosophy is dead if it was even ever anything more than BS to being with. Philosophy is pointless. The world is a hopeless pit. If you don't want to agree with me, then please feel free not to respond. I'm tired of being blamed for my depression. I'm tired of people telling me to snap out of it or just be "thankful" or what a "****" I am or something. If you don't think the world is a hopeless pit, then go be merry or something and stop pissing on me in my threads. I know how I feel. I know why I feel it. The only thing I have left of value in this world is the ability to complain. So that's what I'm going to do. Please don't take that away from me also. I'm through apologizing or trying to make amends with anyone over things I say. Few seem to show me the kindness to do likewise toward things they say to me so apologizing and trying to make amends has been a waste also. And if God or Putin or Biden or anyone else wants to take us all to armageddon, then far be it from me to protest. Just do it. You run the show, not me. I tried to study philosophy and be a philosopher but it's not worth doing. There's no such thing as truth or wisdom, only opinion, and speculation. My mind is going, probably to early-onset Alzheimers. My mental health went a long time ago and it will not be "too soon" when life passes out of my body. This is not a good world we live in. If there is a god that presides over it, then it's not a good god. I'm sorry if you disagree, but that's my truth and you'll never understand it. Enjoy the world, you can have it, all 50 gazillion galaxies that will eventually rot in the sky and amount to nothing also--just like everything else in the universe.

You can't reason your way out of depression Gary. And certainly not on a site full of agitators and trolls who are only here for self-gratification.

Screw Philosophy; screw the world. Figure out if there's a way to get your happiness back. Pharmaceuticals might help.

If there's any consolation you have (sadly) arrived at this realisation too late in life. I've been there and I crawled out.
I wasn't joking when I suggested you look into psychedelic therapy. It's what helped me get back on my feet in my early 30s after anti-depressants didn't work.

Of course - talk to your mental healthcare practitioner.

[Gary Childress]

You can't reason your way out of depression Gary. And certainly not on a site full of agitators and trolls who are only here for self-gratification.

Screw Philosophy; screw the world. Figure out if there's a way to get your happiness back. Pharmaceuticals might help.

If there's any consolation you have (sadly) arrived at this realisation too late in life. I've been there and I crawled out.
I wasn't joking when I suggested you look into psychedelic therapy. It's what helped me get back on my feet in my early 30s after anti-depressants didn't work.

Of course - talk to your mental healthcare practitioner.

None of my mental health practitioners has ever mentioned anything about "psychedelic therapy." If it's an answer, then it's been withheld from me as an option. Not sure why.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Flannel Jesus]

You can't reason your way out of depression Gary. And certainly not on a site full of agitators and trolls who are only here for self-gratification.

Screw Philosophy; screw the world. Figure out if there's a way to get your happiness back. Pharmaceuticals might help.

If there's any consolation you have (sadly) arrived at this realisation too late in life. I've been there and I crawled out.
I wasn't joking when I suggested you look into psychedelic therapy. It's what helped me get back on my feet in my early 30s after anti-depressants didn't work.

Of course - talk to your mental healthcare practitioner.

None of my mental health practitioners has ever mentioned anything about "psychedelic therapy." If it's an answer, then it's been withheld from me as an option. Not sure why.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It feels strange to find myself agreeing with every word of a skepdick post, but I do. Every word.

[Edit] on retrospect it's not actually that strange.

[Skepdick]

None of my mental health practitioners has ever mentioned anything about "psychedelic therapy." If it's an answer, then it's been withheld from me as an option. Not sure why.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sadly psychedelics are considered illegal in many parts of the world, so mental healthcare practitioners are somewhat reluctant to break the law at the risk of losing their license. Many of them also lack the research or understanding on how to use them effectively.

Things are slowly changing and research is showing psychedelics to be more effective than most other interventions, but there's a great stigma and taboo around it all. Thank the war on drugs.

Still, put all moralising aside and screw the law also and pursue your own best interests. Psychedelics were life-changing for me. I am glad I broke the law.

[Gary Childress]

Still, put all moralising aside and screw the law also and pursue your own best interests. Psychedelics were life-changing for me. I am glad I broke the law.

If the law would have kept you in a rut anything like what I've lived in for the past 30 years, then the law you broke may as well have been decreed by Satan, if there is such a thing as Satan. No one should have to live like this for 30 years. At this point, there aren't much in the way of satisfactory options open to me. If psychedelics have helped you avoid what I have lived through and allowed you to be presented with a better set of options at this point than what I have, then I will testify that you did NOTHING truly wrong except save your life if that's the case.

[promethean75]

there came a point in my mid twenties after i philosophically matured (relatively speaking) when my intellect had as a permanent feature all the pessimistic and cynical marks of the existentialism i wuz so immersed in that affected me, that i wuz unable to enjoy psychedelics like LSD and mushrooms anymore.

my head had been filled up with heavy shit that wouldn't let me laugh and be all retarded while high like i did as a teen. if i took psychedelics after thirty my trip would be all solemn and withdrawn cuz all the bad shit would be like waum-waum-waum-waum in my head and I'd bug out or something.

this is theory tho becuz the last time i took LSD wuz in those mid twenties, and i haven't had more than a couple grams of shrooms since i wuz in my late twenties. i wouldn't dare, tho. not now... not with what i know. i cannot relinquish control to a mind alterating substance at this time becuz if i did I'd be on some Xavier level shit and who knows what I'd be capable of.

[Gary Childress]

there came a point in my mid twenties after i philosophically matured (relatively speaking) when my intellect had as a permanent feature all the pessimistic and cynical marks of the existentialism i wuz so immersed in that affected me, that i wuz unable to enjoy psychedelics like LSD and mushrooms anymore.

my head had been filled up with heavy shit that wouldn't let me laugh and be all retarded while high like i did as a teen. if i took psychedelics after thirty my trip would be all solemn and withdrawn cuz all the bad shit would be like waum-waum-waum-waum in my head and I'd bug out or something.

this is theory tho becuz the last time i took LSD wuz in those mid twenties, and i haven't had more than a couple grams of shrooms since i wuz in my late twenties. i wouldn't dare, tho. not now... not with what i know. i cannot relinquish control to a mind alterating substance at this time becuz if i did I'd be on some Xavier level shit and who knows what I'd be capable of.

Well, from the sounds of it perhaps you've at least fared a little better than someone stuck on "anti-psychotics" and "anti-depressants" for most of their life. You could have ended up like me. On a philosophy forum ranting non-stop, lashing out at everything and everyone after a life of being bottled up on them. Do you mind if I ask if you're married or have a significant other?

[Skepdick]

there came a point in my mid twenties after i philosophically matured (relatively speaking) when my intellect had as a permanent feature all the pessimistic and cynical marks of the existentialism i wuz so immersed in that affected me, that i wuz unable to enjoy psychedelics like LSD and mushrooms anymore.

Psychedelic therapy is absolutely not a recreational exercise. It's primarily geared towards introspection and not at all "connected" to your surroundings.

my head had been filled up with heavy shit that wouldn't let me laugh and be all retarded while high like i did as a teen. if i took psychedelics after thirty my trip would be all solemn and withdrawn cuz all the bad shit would be like waum-waum-waum-waum in my head and I'd bug out or something.

On my last psychedelic retreat there was a chap with stage 4 brain cancer was going to leave behind a wife and three daughters (oldest one was 14).

At 18:00 in the evening he was oozing desperation, defeat and mild panic. 4 hours later he was laughing uncontrollably.
At 06:00 next morning these were his exact words "I found all the answers I was looking for - my family is in good hands. I am at peace."

I'd say it's a bit like Douglas Adams' Total Perspective Vortex. Only you are supposed to laugh at your insignificance, not lose your mind.

[Gary Childress]

Only you are supposed to laugh at your insignificance.

I suppose that's as good a response as any other. Maybe it's even the best we humans can hope to accomplish. I don't know. It would be nice to find something noble to do. But maybe there isn't.

[promethean75]

"You could have ended up like me. On a philosophy forum ranting non-stop, lashing out at everything and everyone after a life of being bottled up on them."

dude wtf are u talking about I'm the fuckin master at doing that. if there were an instructional manual on how to lash out at everyone on the internet and rant and rave at philosophy forums, I'd be the one to write it.

well when i wuz a kid I wuz on an assortment of ADHD drugs like Ritalin, buspar, nortriptyline, and at one time i wuz even getting daily low doses of thorazine (in an orange juice shot in line at the nurses station triage like in one flew over the cuckoo's nest) which wuz retarded becuz the only reason i wuz in there is becuz i carried a small folded buck knife in my pocket to school... which got me expelled. then the very next day my shrink tells the old man that if he could get me into holly hill tomorrow morning by nine, that would be great. so on his advice the old man takes me in... and a week later they got me on thorazine.

lemme tell u something holly hill wuz one of the funnest places I've ever been and if anything, turned me into even more of an unmanageable behavior problem becuz of all the liberties it afforded. for one thing i wuz surround by at least fifteen other kids, half guys half girls, all the time. we played foosball, ate deep dish pizzas for lunch and watched movies all day. there wuz a yard and a small gym, but it wuz all about the day room. attached wuz a little music room with swivel chairs and we used to get the nurses to play pink Floyd's momentary lapse of reason while we sat in the chairs and spun around all high on lithium or thorazine or whatever they had u on. and at night we would duck down and sneak/crawl past the desk and down into the girl's hall and hang out with them in the rooms. you'd have to pack you're bed and make it look like u were in it becuz they did rounds, but it wuz a quick peek into the room and that wuz it. we'd have spotters across the hall watching for the rounds so when they came to the room, we'd jump and hide and she'd just lay on the bed as if asleep.

dude it wuz like a perpetual summer camp sleep over with a bunch of 12-16 year olds. and the staff were incredibly cool, lenient and easily manipulated. in fact i have not one bad memory of that place. oh yeah check it out me and the kids in the next room had punched a hole in the wall to pass cigarettes through, concealed behind the hanging picture. lol man. kids would smuggle cigarettes in from home visits.

"Do you mind if I ask if you're married or have a significant other?"

never been married and don't have any childrens.

and i do have a significant other. all of u, Gary, are my significants.

just kidding no all the significants I've ever known turned out to be remarkably insignificant. i do know some would-be significant people who are unfortunately relatively insignificant on account of the degree with which they are able to be significant in my life at this moment being significantly decreased such that opportunities to be more significant are unavailable.

[Gary Childress]

"You could have ended up like me. On a philosophy forum ranting non-stop, lashing out at everything and everyone after a life of being bottled up on them."

dude wtf are u talking about I'm the fuckin master at doing that. if there were an instructional manual on how to lash out at everyone on the internet and rant and rave at philosophy forums, I'd be the one to write it.

well when i wuz a kid I wuz on an assortment of ADHD drugs like Ritalin, buspar, nortriptyline, and at one time i wuz even getting daily low doses of thorazine (in an orange juice shot in line at the nurses station triage like in one flew over the cuckoo's nest) which wuz retarded becuz the only reason i wuz in there is becuz i carried a small folded buck knife in my pocket to school... which got me expelled. then the very next day my shrink tells the old man that if he could get me into holly hill tomorrow morning by nine, that would be great. so on his advice the old man takes me in... and a week later they got me on thorazine.

lemme tell u something holly hill wuz one of the funnest places I've ever been and if anything, turned me into even more of an unmanageable behavior problem becuz of all the liberties it afforded. for one thing i wuz surround by at least fifteen other kids, half guys half girls, all the time. we played foosball, ate deep dish pizzas for lunch and watched movies all day. there wuz a yard and a small gym, but it wuz all about the day room. attached wuz a little music room with swivel chairs and we used to get the nurses to play pink Floyd's momentary lapse of reason while we sat in the chairs and spun around all high on lithium or thorazine or whatever they had u on. and at night we would duck down and sneak/crawl past the desk and down into the girl's hall and hang out with them in the rooms. you'd have to pack you're bed and make it look like u were in it becuz they did rounds, but it wuz a quick peek into the room and that wuz it. we'd have spotters across the hall watching for the rounds so when they came to the room, we'd jump and hide and she'd just lay on the bed as if asleep.

dude it wuz like a perpetual summer camp sleep over with a bunch of 12-16 year olds. and the staff were incredibly cool, lenient and easily manipulated. in fact i have not one bad memory of that place. oh yeah check it out me and the kids in the next room had punched a hole in the wall to pass cigarettes through, concealed behind the hanging picture. lol man. kids would smuggle cigarettes in from home visits.

"Do you mind if I ask if you're married or have a significant other?"

never been married and don't have any childrens.

and i do have a significant other. all of u, Gary, are my significants.

just kidding no all the significants I've ever known turned out to be remarkably insignificant. i do know some would-be significant people who are unfortunately relatively insignificant on account of the degree with which they are able to be significant in my life at this moment being significantly decreased such that opportunities to be more significant are unavailable.

What was "holy hill"? Was it a school, an asylum or some other kind of institution?

[Alexis Jacobi]

Sadly psychedelics are considered illegal in many parts of the world, so mental healthcare practitioners are somewhat reluctant to break the law at the risk of losing their license. Many of them also lack the research or understanding on how to use them effectively.

Things are slowly changing and research is showing psychedelics to be more effective than most other interventions, but there's a great stigma and taboo around it all. Thank the war on drugs.

Still, put all moralising aside and screw the law also and pursue your own best interests. Psychedelics were life-changing for me. I am glad I broke the law.

There is Salvia divinorum: Sage Goddess Emerald Essence which is not illegal.

[promethean75]

It wuz a very expensive private four star psychiatric hospital (?) I think. I dunno what its official title is but kids with behavioral problems went there. But not the full blown crazies... Holly Hill didn't take them. Lol think of the breakfast club. That's how we were but a slightly younger version becuz we were 12-16. Now I think it handles alcoholics exclusively but I'm not certain.

Now this is freaking me out. Googled for pics and found the very desk we used to sneak past, and that music room....

It's been remodeled a little but still the same stuff in the same spots.

Screenshot_2023-03-01-11-26-05-039.jpg (13.32 KiB) Viewed 787 times

Screenshot_2023-03-01-11-25-35-091.jpg (11.12 KiB) Viewed 787 times

[promethean75]

right down that hallway to the right of the admin station there in the middle wuz Robin K's room, Gary, and i never once got busted turning that corner and getting down the hall. the desk wuz such that when your feet are kicked up and you're leaned back in the chair, u can't see over and beyond the counter/desk top. those nurses literally sat in shifts at that desk all night and always ended up kicking back in those chairs. i swear it wuz like a movie cliche sneak-past-the-security-guard scene in every movie u ever see. guy's reading the news paper dozing off and oblivious to the spy sneaking past, etc.

[Skepdick]

There is Salvia divinorum: Sage Goddess Emerald Essence which is not illegal.

It's too unpredictable and really aggressive as a psychedelic. It has left me petrified more than once.

It also doesn't act at the serotonin receptors of the brain so it's not as effective at countering depression as psilocybin or LSD.