Got any good jokes?

[Gary Childress]

I post in Internet forums in hopes of winning.

[attofishpi]

Land of the Irish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cvv237khg8

[attofishpi]

Family Guy - You speak English?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6FA6mPHfSI

LMFAO

[seeds]

_______

"The Ordeal of the Three Tents"

A Russian army general and an American army general were at a summit meeting arguing with each other about which of the two countries had the toughest soldiers.

The American general insisted that he himself could whip any Russian at anything.

The Russian general then dared the American to take on what the Russians call: "The Ordeal of the Three Tents," which consists of the following...

• 1. One must enter the first tent and consume 2 large bottles of Russian vodka in 10 minutes.
  
  2. One must enter the second tent and pull the abscessed tooth of a mother grizzly bear who is nursing her new born cubs.
  
  3. One must enter the third tent and sexually gratify Russia's most famous female porn star.

The American general laughed at the Russian's puny challenge and said, 'bring it on."

Arrangements were made, the tents were readied, and the ordeal began.

The American general entered the first tent and in less than 10 minutes had guzzled-down the 2 bottles of Russia's strongest vodka.

He then exited the first tent and ran into the second tent...

...and after around 6 or 7 minutes of terrifying growls and blood curdling screams, the general exited the second tent, and standing there with his uniform torn to shreds and his body bleeding from head to toe, he said, "...now wheressh zat bear wiz da bad tooth?..."
_______

[Impenitent]

after the imaginary number gets out of prison, is it a free radical?

-Imp

[promethean75]

this fuckin guy

[attofishpi]

Not much of a joke really, but as the alphabet people of LGBTQ+ agenda and other leftys keep telling me I am a racist bigot for pointing out that mass immigration of people that subscribe to Isamic ideology into the country is going to work out bad for them...and then it does as they are doing infiltrating all parts of British society - the Caliphate of Britain fast approaching until they wise up..

I doubt I'll even have a wry smile as they are being hung from cranes or thrown from rooftops around the towns of Britain. So sad too bad - you were warned.

Western leftists ally with Islamists - just like the Iranian Revolution
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJsiUG7xPpU&t=1023s


Islamists Explain How They Will Take Over Britain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qtFc6KC0Hg&t=848s

[accelafine]

Not much of a joke really, but as the alphabet people of LGBTQ+ agenda and other leftys keep telling me I am a racist bigot for pointing out that mass immigration of people that subscribe to Isamic ideology into the country is going to work out bad for them...and then it does as they are doing infiltrating all parts of British society - the Caliphate of Britain fast approaching until they wise up..

I doubt I'll even have a wry smile as they are being hung from cranes or thrown from rooftops around the towns of Britain. So sad too bad - you were warned.

Western leftists ally with Islamists - just like the Iranian Revolution
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJsiUG7xPpU&t=1023s


Islamists Explain How They Will Take Over Britain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qtFc6KC0Hg&t=848s

You are way behind the times. The acronym has grown considerably. It's now 2SLGBTTQIA+. Of course, the '+' includes anyone who might feel 'excluded'. You know, those oppressed, marginalised groups like paedophiles, zoophiles, men who identify as babies, men who identify as dogs, men who identify as horses, men who have sex with playground equipment, men who have sex with petrol pumps... You know, all the vulnerable people we want to 'embrace' and welcome into our lives...

[seeds]

_______

A blond girl was wandering around town asking her neighbors and local businesses if they had any odd jobs she could do in order to earn some extra cash with which to replenish her dwindling supply of beauty products.

She finally found a store owner who said: "...Sure, I'll give you 75 bucks to paint the porch at the house I live-in just around the corner. You'll find brushes and rollers and two buckets of yellow paint in the garage..."

The blond happily agreed.

Two hours later, she returned to the store stating that she had finished the job and that there was enough yellow paint to give it two coats.

The happy store owner gave her the 75 bucks plus a 25-buck bonus for her admirable work ethic in getting the job done so quickly.

The blond said: "...Aww, it was nothing,...I enjoy doing easy jobs like this...". And as she was leaving, she said: "...Oh, and by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Farrari..."
_______

[accelafine]

_______

A blond girl was wandering around town asking her neighbors and local businesses if they had any odd jobs she could do in order to earn some extra cash with which to replenish her dwindling supply of beauty products.

She finally found a store owner who said: "...Sure, I'll give you 75 bucks to paint the porch at the house I live-in just around the corner. You'll find brushes and rollers and two buckets of yellow paint in the garage..."

The blond happily agreed.

Two hours later, she returned to the store stating that she had finished the job and that there was enough yellow paint to give it two coats.

The happy store owner gave her the 75 bucks plus a 25-buck bonus for her admirable work ethic in getting the job done so quickly.

The blond said: "...Aww, it was nothing,...I enjoy doing easy jobs like this...". And as she was leaving, she said: "...Oh, and by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Farrari..."
_______

Hah! That's pretty good.