Darkneos wrote: ↑Fri Jul 28, 2023 10:44 pm
I know it's to do with my processing, how my brain works, and I've had to deal with it all my life. I guess that's being on the spectrum for you.
Then that seems like the place to focus: your processing. I mean, perhaps you do that and read things that end up scaring and disturbing you despite your not quite understanding them. There's neuroplasticity which is possible even after traumatic brain injury. Only more so when there isn't damage. Of course, the motivation is high - for example after a stroke - to retrain the brain. But then focusing on your processing might lead to the necessary degree of motivation. There's even some evidence that people on the spectrum have more neuroplasticity. So, the trick would be to figure out as clearly as possible what your processing is like and then to figure out ways to train new patterns.
But you might want to consider not feeding your processing with things that upset you.
That's all real abstract. There's neurofeedback, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and there are likely other approaches. I've had medical issues treated by alternative practitioners with great success. Of course you have to find the right ones, which is not necessarily easy. And you have to find the right ones for you. A perfectly professional alternative treatment doesn't work on everyone, even if it has a high success rate.
But, my gut reaction is that diving deeper into qm and philosophy is not going to shift the root issues.
But hey, that's unasked for advice.
I hope you can find a way to ease the troubles with this pattern.