Who picks who in a relationship?

Anything to do with gender and the status of women and men.

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Philosophy Explorer
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Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Tue Feb 28, 2017 9:14 pm

Does the woman pick the man? Or does the man pick the woman? One may say that both pick each other at the same time to which I ask "How often does that happen?"

Does it matter who picks who, gender wise? Would that make it a controlling relationship from the start?

PhilX

duszek
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by duszek » Wed Mar 01, 2017 3:55 pm

Everyone can refuse being picked no matter how much the picker tries.

Sadly, there may be some desparate loners who wish to be picked by someone and express this message by their body language. They ask for mercy and sometimes get it.

Some people like to be flirtatious and give other people passes.

Philosophy Explorer
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:59 am

duszek wrote:Some people like to be flirtatious and give other people passes.
I've had more than my fair share of that in this area.

The question remains open.

PhilX

duszek
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by duszek » Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:20 am

A suggestion:

The picking party is the one who expects some benefit from the relationship.

Philosophy Explorer
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:49 am

duszek wrote:A suggestion:

The picking party is the one who expects some benefit from the relationship.
So you're saying the relationship can't be altruistic.

PhilX

duszek
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by duszek » Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:48 am

A friend of cats can pick a cat from an asylum because she wants to make one of them happy and thus make her own life more colourful and interesting.

Is is altruistic ?

Dalek Prime
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Dalek Prime » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:05 am

I randomly pick names from a phone book, and reject them as incompatible, on the grounds that most humans are shit anyway, and thus find it reasonable to reject anyone I may meet.

I do, however, like to flirt. Go figure.

Philosophy Explorer
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:09 am

Dalek Prime wrote:I randomly pick names from a phone book, and reject them as incompatible, on the grounds that most humans are shit anyway, and thus find it reasonable to reject anyone I may meet.

I do, however, like to flirt. Go figure.
What would you do if someone picked you out of a phone book?

PhilX

Dalek Prime
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Dalek Prime » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:12 am

Philosophy Explorer wrote:
Dalek Prime wrote:I randomly pick names from a phone book, and reject them as incompatible, on the grounds that most humans are shit anyway, and thus find it reasonable to reject anyone I may meet.

I do, however, like to flirt. Go figure.
What would you do if someone picked you out of a phone book?

PhilX
Perhaps meet for coffee and casual sex. Then hide their phone book. :lol:

Philosophy Explorer
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:30 am

Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX

Dalek Prime
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Dalek Prime » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:34 am

Philosophy Explorer wrote:Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX
Well, I do like aggressive people. On the other hand, do people attract that which they desire? Not usually. So that would be the dependency. Well, that, my mood, and my hormone levels.

Philosophy Explorer
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Philosophy Explorer » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:37 am

Dalek Prime wrote:
Philosophy Explorer wrote:Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX
Well, I do like aggressive people. On the other hand, do people attract that which they desire? Not usually. So that would be the dependency. Well, that, my mood, and my hormone levels.
Which leads to another question: Do opposites attract?

PhilX

Dalek Prime
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by Dalek Prime » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:39 am

Philosophy Explorer wrote:
Dalek Prime wrote:
Philosophy Explorer wrote:Let's try to make this thread more interesting. Do you prefer to be the picker or pickee? Does it depend?

PhilX
Well, I do like aggressive people. On the other hand, do people attract that which they desire? Not usually. So that would be the dependency. Well, that, my mood, and my hormone levels.
Which leads to another question: Do opposites attract?

PhilX
Only in physics. That's one or those commonly repeated phrases that pass as truth, but isn't a hard rule.

duszek
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by duszek » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:16 pm

Everyone enjoys well-behaved admirers, both men and women.
Stalking is a perversion of course.

No sensible person would continue sending out passes and swallow dirty looks in return.
This would be a huge waste of life energy, and who has too much of it ?

So reasonable people signal positive feelings in a subtle way to someone who seems o.k. and the other party should react by contributing to keep the ball rolling or by discouraging in an honest (and apologetic) way.

One can be wrong, too. So it should be allowed to retreat in case of mistake.

thedoc
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Re: Who picks who in a relationship?

Post by thedoc » Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:21 am

Usually both parties make some choice to form a relationship. Sometimes one or both parties make bad choices and the relationship ends.

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