Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

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puppet
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by puppet »

I think love is "The Force" of determinism at work. Potential people from the future with that particular mixture of genes are crying out for the chance to exist. The nice thing about 'The Force" of determinism is that it can be easily dismissed.
Walker
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Walker »

sthitapragya wrote:
reasonvemotion wrote:For the majority of us, love is the one part of our lives we believe happens to us solely by chance.

For years passion was not considered a solid basis for marriage until recently.

Here we must exercise caution. When two people instantly fall in love, they are in love with an idealised concept of each other, which eventually, nearly always, ends in disaster.

How many of us would put in the effort needed to keep a relationship going when one person cheats on the other?

What about physical attraction. Yes. It is important, but too much of a good thing, can turn into a bad thing and instead of love it is lust. I chuckle here as some may disagree vehemently with this.

Does it make sense to enter into an aranged marriage where both parties can learn to love each other gradually and travel on solid ground.

I dont believe we have one person only for us. Our soulmate. That is for the poet and his/her muse.

Should we wait around hoping for our true love to happen upon us.

Should we use our common sense and plan for it, like we plan for a career, or anything else, reject the fairytale aspect of it.

Some are quite content without it.
I agree that there is no such thing as love. However, I have been married for 25 years now. We have our problems but we solve them. It is all about communication. If you spend a long time with someone, a certain closeness develops. And then you are certain that you have someone you can fall back on at all times. That is a big support. The passion reduces after a few years, but a very unique friendship takes its place which is quite rich and fulfilling in a whole lot of ways. And that I think is worth the effort.
To balance that tidy version watch the movie, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,” the story of a married couple deeply in love, told in the hyper-realism of gritty naturalism. Watch it and you will respect Liz Taylor as an artist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk8QkYgz8QM
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Hobbes' Choice
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Hobbes' Choice »

Walker wrote: I agree that there is no such thing as love. However, I have been married for 25 years now. We have our problems but we solve them. It is all about communication. If you spend a long time with someone, a certain closeness develops. And then you are certain that you have someone you can fall back on at all times. That is a big support. The passion reduces after a few years, but a very unique friendship takes its place which is quite rich and fulfilling in a whole lot of ways. And that I think is worth the effort.
To balance that tidy version watch the movie, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,” the story of a married couple deeply in love, told in the hyper-realism of gritty naturalism. Watch it and you will respect Liz Taylor as an artist.[/quote]

Both Burton and Taylor were great actors.

But do you know why their characters are so angry with life?

Were you paying attention?
Walker
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Walker »

Hobbes' Choice wrote: Both Burton and Taylor were great actors.

But do you know why their characters are so angry with life?

Were you paying attention?
I’ve obviously stepped in your milieu.

You have the floor, Mr. Film Critic.

Do tell.
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Hobbes' Choice
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Hobbes' Choice »

Walker wrote:
Hobbes' Choice wrote: Both Burton and Taylor were great actors.

But do you know why their characters are so angry with life?

Were you paying attention?
I’ve obviously stepped in your milieu.

You have the floor, Mr. Film Critic.

Do tell.
They are bitter because they lost a son; possibly fictional. Either lost or not capable of having children.
They are not in a relationship that is going to fall apart. They are in a game that only they can share, and understand, a bond that none can come between. They are in for the long haul.
Walker
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Walker »

Yes, I’ve seen the movie a few times.

The movie can’t be changed. Neither can the past. Why is discovered by observing the acting. Why is not created by the observer. Sometimes there can be no resolution.
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Walker »

Burton finds truth in the worth of people. Good philosophy. Good storyteller.

Richard Burton on mining.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFnra54Yk44

“Miners believe themselves to be the aristocrats of the working class. They felt superior to all other kinds of manual laborers. They were skilled workers.” – Burton.

He did not see miners as people to be rescued from their plight.
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Walker »

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966): Killing Martha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWgIOb_U2Hc

And then he landed flat in a huckleberry bush!

Brilliant naturalism. Gritty black and white. Shadows. Camera too close to slightly distort facial features. Loud. Brassy! On the edge. If only they had the HD technology so we could see the pores in the flesh. Surely, everyone has some dim human memory. Quite artful.
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Terrapin Station
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Terrapin Station »

I'm not a fan of monogamy. In my opinion, we'd be much better off if we could move culture away from a monogamy bias and trend towards extended families without narrowly defined roles.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hippie in many ways, so I would think that.
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Hobbes' Choice
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Hobbes' Choice »

Terrapin Station wrote:I'm not a fan of monogamy. In my opinion, we'd be much better off if we could move culture away from a monogamy bias and trend towards extended families without narrowly defined roles.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hippie in many ways, so I would think that.
I've tried that - it doesn't really work.

Monogamy works in a limited way; serial monogamy. One at a time, and one after the other.
Life is too long these days for 'till death us do part'.
But when you get to a certain age, choose one and stick with them.
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Terrapin Station
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Terrapin Station »

Hobbes' Choice wrote:
Terrapin Station wrote:I'm not a fan of monogamy. In my opinion, we'd be much better off if we could move culture away from a monogamy bias and trend towards extended families without narrowly defined roles.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hippie in many ways, so I would think that.
I've tried that - it doesn't really work.

Monogamy works in a limited way; serial monogamy. One at a time, and one after the other.
Life is too long these days for 'till death us do part'.
But when you get to a certain age, choose one and stick with them.
Well, for one, I was talking about cultural changes--we can't say we've tried that yet.

But I've always had non-monogamous relationships and they've worked. ;-)
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Hobbes' Choice
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Hobbes' Choice »

Terrapin Station wrote:
Hobbes' Choice wrote:
Terrapin Station wrote:I'm not a fan of monogamy. In my opinion, we'd be much better off if we could move culture away from a monogamy bias and trend towards extended families without narrowly defined roles.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hippie in many ways, so I would think that.
I've tried that - it doesn't really work.

Monogamy works in a limited way; serial monogamy. One at a time, and one after the other.
Life is too long these days for 'till death us do part'.
But when you get to a certain age, choose one and stick with them.
Well, for one, I was talking about cultural changes--we can't say we've tried that yet.

But I've always had non-monogamous relationships and they've worked. ;-)
Not with life partners I imagine.
And yeah - we tried that in the sixties.
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Terrapin Station
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Terrapin Station »

Hobbes' Choice wrote:Not with life partners I imagine.
And yeah - we tried that in the sixties.
I'm married and we're non-monogamous. I've been married before, too.
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vegetariantaxidermy
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by vegetariantaxidermy »

Terrapin Station wrote:
Hobbes' Choice wrote:Not with life partners I imagine.
And yeah - we tried that in the sixties.
I'm married and we're non-monogamous. I've been married before, too.
So not really married then.
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Hobbes' Choice
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Re: Love doesn't happen by chance or does it?

Post by Hobbes' Choice »

Terrapin Station wrote:
Hobbes' Choice wrote:Not with life partners I imagine.
And yeah - we tried that in the sixties.
I'm married and we're non-monogamous. I've been married before, too.
That would make you a hypocrite. You do know that being married involves fidelity?

So already one failed marriage - why marry again only to piss on it?
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