A true real man falls in love when he is ...................

[reasonvemotion]

AS, you will persist. You dont know when to let it go.

Actually, I do hope everything works out for you and you find the man you can live happily with forever. It's just that I know the odds are not in your favor...all I am doing is trying to help you increase your odds.

Thank you for your kind wishes, although you do have the unfortunate habit of saying one thing, but meaning another. LOL

[artisticsolution]

R:AS, you will persist. You dont know when to let it go.

AS: Reasonvemotion, this is a philosophical forum. I have stayed true to this topic in this thread. I won't let go because I am interested in :

1. this topic

2. a philosophical discussion

I stated the problem I had with Dr. Pat Allen and have been trying to clarify why I think his philosophy is mistaken by listing the reason for my skepticism in a very open manner. I have tried to engage you in a debate but you keep trying to make this an personal argument between us.

If you want me to stay out of your thread all you have to do is say so and I will oblige.


R:Thank you for your kind wishes, although you do have the unfortunate habit of saying one thing, but meaning another. LOL

AS: You're welcome. Have you ever thought that maybe it is you who has the unfortunate habit of misunderstanding people?

[reasonvemotion]

AS wrote:

One day my husband and I and my friend and her husband were all having dinner. My husband is a very fit man...he keeps in tip top shape. Anyway, my husband was deciding what to order. He mentioned something about desert and I said "No...you're not having that. I don't like the fatties."

REM wrote:

Hence the reason we see so many women drained of their life energy by nurturing her man while the man gets to have “mommy” in return and never becomes a true “real” man."

proves my point.

and


A bloody awful thing to say when "your bulimic friend" was present. Did she piss herself laughing too?

[chaz wyman]

When a True Scotsman falls in love, it is always for his haggis.

[Felasco]

Have you ever thought that maybe it is you who has the unfortunate habit of misunderstanding people?

CAT FIGHT! Stay tuned to this channel, maybe they'll rip each other's clothes off?

This message brought to you by the Real Man Honesty In Advertising Public Relations Group, a division of the Infinitely Horny Corporation.

[artisticsolution]

R:proves my point.

AS: How? If it proves your point...then you should have no problem explaining your reasoning philosophically.


R:A bloody awful thing to say when "your bulimic friend" was present. Did she piss herself laughing too?

AS: Did I say my friend was bulimic? She is not. But I can and will give you my philosophical reasons for saying what I did...none of which are to "harm" my friend...as she is a kind person who knows how much I love her and have her back....for you to suggest you know our relationship better than I and/or that I would intentionally 'hurt' my friend is a terrible thing to say. You are only trying to put me down to make yourself look better. It's a low blow and a dishonest way to make an argument, imo.

Everyone at that table knew how I am the opposite of shallow...as they have known and loved me for years. I love every kind human...no matter what they look like. It's the unkind ones I will stand strong against with my will and my tongue.

My friend is also strong except when it comes to her husband...well...I should say ex husband. That story is from long ago...and my support and reasoning got her through that difficult marriage. By saying what I did she saw the absurdity in his thinking and woke up out of the irrational lack of self confidence she had.

Now she is married to a great guy and she thanks me every day for allowing her to see her ex's unreasonable irrational behavior.

She is thin and beautiful naturally (not bulimic at all). She knows her body and her mind are beautiful without anyone telling her. She can see it because of my bringing to her attention reason. This is what she tells me... She says if she didn't have me...she too would have still be in an irrational stupor thinking she was fat and ugly and more importantly...thinking that looks matter when it comes to true love.

It is the healthy mind that is needed to grow old with someone else. A point that no one brings up when thinking about true love....the fact that one will not have the same appearance or circumstance throughout a lifetime. And that, in the grand scheme of all things...loving beyond aesthetics will make one much happier in the long term...esp...if one finds beauty in true monogamous love above all else.

I liken it to the story k recounted in Fear and Trembling when he speak of the man who gladly ate the slop he was given as if it were the finest meal in the world. The point being...is that if your mind is to the point where the 'love' is more important than the appearances, and that becomes 'truth', then you can't know suffering. How rare is the person who is able to make themselves happy even when they are given a less than perfect life? I would say the average person is very shallow in this respect and thus cannot know happiness....thus can't know true love.

[reasonvemotion]

"You are only trying to put me down to make yourself look better"

I think that is an impossibility.....you do it so well all by yourself.

artisticsolution wrote:

"Everyone at that table knew how I am the opposite of shallow...as they have known and loved me for years.

and my support and reasoning got her through that difficult marriage.
By saying what I did she saw the absurdity in his thinking and woke up out of the irrational lack of self confidence she had.

Now she is married to a great guy and .........she thanks me every day .........for allowing her to see her ex's unreasonable irrational behavior.

She knows her body and her mind are beautiful without anyone telling her.
She can see it because of my bringing to her attention reason.

This is what she tells me... She says if she didn't have me...she too would have still be in an irrational stupor thinking she was fat and ugly and more importantly...thinking that looks matter when it comes to true love.


How rare is the person who is able to make themselves happy even when they are given a less than perfect life?
I would say the average person is very shallow in this respect and thus cannot know happiness....thus can't know true love."



Yes ma'am, no ma'am.

[chaz wyman]

A true real man falls in love when he is protecting and cherishing a woman?

The famous marriage, family and child / cognitive behavioral therapist, author, and lecturer, Dr. Pat Allen, speaks about why people remain single or have unnecessary complications in their marriages and relationships. People are starving for the scientific facts on love, sex, dating, mating and relationships, but does science have the answers.

"In every relationship, feminine and masculine energies are communicating with each other. We are a species of gender. Unfortunately, while the Women’s Movement brought about some positive changes to the women who “think” so, it did far more harm to our culture than ever before. More men are walking around with vaginas, and more women have penises than ever in history.

Masculinity is the penetrating, creative, stoic and doing energy. Femininity is the receptive, passive, feeling and emotional energy. This is nature and nature cannot be altered, as it will wreak havoc on our health and minds. But this is the case now post Women’s Movement and post Sexual Revolution. Women wanted equality. And equality has turned men into women, and women into men. Hence the reason we see so many women drained of their life energy by nurturing her man while the man gets to have “mommy” in return and never become a true “real” man."

So let me get this straight - you are promoting this point of view?
And are you really claiming this has scientific validity, or that science has the cognitive equipment to deal with these issues?

[reasonvemotion]

So let me get this straight - you are promoting this point of view?
And are you really claiming this has scientific validity, or that science has the cognitive equipment to deal with these issues?

It is a question directed at whoever wants to answer it.

My view is really very simple. I think an issue is that I attack Feminism. Let me state that I endorse that all human beings, whether they be male or female, deserve certain rights. I refute that feminism/women's liberation have created a better society, in fact, I believe it has created and caused more harm. This said, I do not believe women should be abused or treated as slaves. What is not being acknowledged is that men and women are not the same. We (women) have different physiological and psychological makeup than men. So where is the common sense in a woman trying to prove she can do what a man can. Women should stop trying to act like men. It is only causing a struggle for both, to be in control. A woman should put her man's needs first, some women put themselves first and expect the man to put her first too. What man wants a woman who thinks she knows it all and doesn't want to hear what her man has to say. Perhaps there are men who like this, perhaps you are one of them. Women, should pride themselves on being women and stop trying to wear the "pants".

So yes, if I can't have a man who likes to take control, then I choose to remain alone.

AS wrote:

........... It's just that I know the odds are not in your favor...


I won't argue with that.

[Kayla]

What is not being acknowledged is that men and women are not the same. We (women) have different physiological and psychological makeup than men.

are the psychological differences absolute or probabilistic - how much of an overlap is there

if there is an overlap at all then the different treatment on the basis of physical gender would make no sense

doesnt anyone read plato any more?

plato believed that men were more intelligent than women in general but some women were more intelligent than some men so what is important is not gender but how intelligent or otherwise capable someone is

so even if there are substantial differences between genders nothing follows from it

A woman should put her man's needs first, some women put themselves first and expect the man to put her first too.

maybe both people should put the other persons needs first

What man wants a woman who thinks she knows it all and doesn't want to hear what her man has to say.

what woman wants a man who thinks he knows it all and doesnt want to hear what his woman has to say

Women, should pride themselves on being women and stop trying to wear the "pants".

i never wear pants if i can help it

[reasonvemotion]

reasonvemotion wrote:

What is not being acknowledged is that men and women are not the same. We (women) have different physiological and psychological makeup than men.

Kayla wrote:

are the psychological differences absolute or probabilistic - how much of an overlap is there


The most obvious difference are women's perceptual skills, call it intuitive, people reading. Females have the ability to detect the feelings and thoughts of others, inferring intentions and responding in an emotionally appropriate way. Men, concentrate firstly, on the minute detail and operate comfortably with a certain detachment. What unites men and women. Sex. What divides men and women. Sex. Males and females differ the most in mating psychology, because our minds are shaped by and for our reproductive mandates. The interesting fact about this is, for thousands of years, there has been that double standard for adultery for men, now we see this is changing. What was once seen by men as their right, they don't feel this anymore. In a 1980 study, there was a high proportion of men who had intercourse with almost no emotional involvement at all, nonrelational sex. Today, more men are getting emotionally involved.


I have a question for you Kayla. I am curious. Is a man involved in your answers? There seems to me, to be a certain male influence attributed to them. Come on, fess up.

Tell him to put his pants back on.

[chaz wyman]

So let me get this straight - you are promoting this point of view?
And are you really claiming this has scientific validity, or that science has the cognitive equipment to deal with these issues?

It is a question directed at whoever wants to answer it.

My view is really very simple. I think an issue is that I attack Feminism. Let me state that I endorse that all human beings, whether they be male or female, deserve certain rights. I refute that feminism/women's liberation have created a better society, in fact, I believe it has created and caused more harm. This said, I do not believe women should be abused or treated as slaves. What is not being acknowledged is that men and women are not the same. We (women) have different physiological and psychological makeup than men. So where is the common sense in a woman trying to prove she can do what a man can. Women should stop trying to act like men. It is only causing a struggle for both, to be in control. A woman should put her man's needs first, some women put themselves first and expect the man to put her first too. What man wants a woman who thinks she knows it all and doesn't want to hear what her man has to say. Perhaps there are men who like this, perhaps you are one of them. Women, should pride themselves on being women and stop trying to wear the "pants".

So yes, if I can't have a man who likes to take control, then I choose to remain alone.
.

So you like a bit of rough?

[Kayla]

The most obvious difference are women's perceptual skills, call it intuitive, people reading.

are you saying that any women is better at this than any man

or is this more of a trend

for instance men in general are physically stronger than women

but some women are stronger than most men

The interesting fact about this is, for thousands of years, there has been that double standard for adultery for men, now we see this is changing.

this is a trend not an absolute some societies do not have this double standard

I have a question for you Kayla. I am curious. Is a man involved in your answers? There seems to me, to be a certain male influence attributed to them. Come on, fess up.

Tell him to put his pants back on.

i have a twin brother and i will often talk to him as i post on this forum - so his views will often get incorporated into my answers

he is wearing pants right now

[reasonvemotion]

reasonvemotion:
The most obvious difference are women's perceptual skills, call it intuitive, people reading.

Kayla:
are you saying that any women is better at this than any man

or is this more of a trend

Rem:
On average yes, women use their intuition for these reasons. There are of course exceptions to this. I have read that adults with autism, and Asperger syndrome, are unusual in both dimensions of perception. They are "mindblind," unable to recognize people's feelings. They also have an ability for systemizing, obsessively focusing, I am not certain about the validity of this.

Kayla:
for instance men in general are physically stronger than women

but some women are stronger than most men

Rem:
Your example concerns the physical status of men and women and on average men have greater muscle mass than women. A woman who is the same size as a male is generally only 80 percent as strong.

Rem:
The interesting fact about this is, for thousands of years, there has been that double standard for adultery for men, now we see this is changing.

Kayla:
this is a trend not an absolute some societies do not have this double standard

Rem:
Men are becoming emasculated.

Rem:
I have a question for you Kayla. I am curious. Is a man involved in your answers? There seems to me, to be a certain male influence attributed to them. Come on, fess up.

Tell him to put his pants back on.

Kayla:
i have a twin brother and i will often talk to him as i post on this forum - so his views will often get incorporated into my answers

he is wearing pants right now

Rem:
Whoever it is, he is much older than your brother.

[reasonvemotion]

Chaz Wyman wrote:

So you like a bit of rough?

I don't speak your language.